Healing To Your Life
by pdsldl
Summary: This story begins with Trip and T'Pol grieving for their daughter. Their relationship had just begun. Now they must find a way to rebuild their life with each other and their friends. ON HIATUS until 'Double Vision' is completed.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own any thing of Enterprise and it's characters. Paramount and/or CBS does. I'm just having some fun and not making a cent.

Thanks B.S. for the great editing help. I really appreciate it.

Healing to Your Life – Chapter 1

"Lieutenant Reed is everything ready?" Malcolm continued to pack the supplies.

"Yes, sir. I'm just not sure why we're doing this, Captain."

"Trip and T'Pol have refused to take leave and they need time to grieve. It's our responsibility as their friends to make sure that's exactly what they do. Dr. Phlox says if they don't take some time to deal with their grief they won't be any good to anybody soon." The Captain knew that they didn't go on leave because they had nowhere where to go. T'Pol had no family on Vulcan and Trip's family hadn't dealt with the loss of their own daughter fully yet, so he didn't want to burden them. Terra Prime had made threats and made it impossible for Starfleet to allow them to go to Earth anyway, as they weren't convinced they would be safe.

"Well, I know they both keep everything inside. Sometimes I think Trip suppresses his emotions as much as T'Pol does."

Archer thought about this for a moment. Trip came across as an open book emotionally, but he wasn't. The strongest deepest feelings he kept hidden. "He'd hold his own with them wouldn't he." He knew Trip and T'Pol had become friends and he often wondered if it was because Trip had found someone who was just as private as he was about his inner life.

Just then Phlox appeared. "Is there anywhere special I need to put this?" He asked as he laid down his gear for the outing.

"No, doctor. I'll have my men put it in the shuttlepod." Reed informed him as he turned to give his security team instructions.

"Didn't you say 09:00 Captain?" The doctor questioned as Archer took notice of the time on the chronometer across the bay.

"Yes, I did but it seems the Commanders are both running late this morning. We'll give them 15 minutes." Jon expected Trip to be late he always had been. T'Pol on the other hand was always on time. In fact she was usually early.

Ten minutes later both Trip and T'Pol entered the shuttle bay. They each had decided to dress in casual clothes as they were supposed to be on leave. Each held a duffel with their belongings in them at their side. The Captain looked at them both standing there. Phlox had been right. They looked like raw, open wounds. In such a state that the slightest touch would cause them to simply fall apart in a heap on the floor. If eyes were the windows into the soul then he wanted no part of what he saw emanating from the two sets of eyes had just tried to look into. There was so much pain, hurt, sorrow, and grief that he couldn't imagine how it was ever going to be better, but it was if he had anything to say about it. He'd watched Trip disappear after Lizzie died and he wasn't prepared to let that happen again. T'Pol had saved his friend then, but now she was just as lost and couldn't be expected to do more than save herself.

"Everyone's here so let's get going." Archer watched as Trip allowed T'Pol to step into the pod first. They each took seats at the far end of the pod, clutching their bags tightly in their fist like anchors, as the Doctor, Lt. Reed, and the security team took their seats. The Captain took the pilots seat and ran through the checklists before powering up to take off.

Malcolm watched his friend sitting there. He knew Trip hadn't wanted to come on this little expedition, but the Captain had made it an order, so he stopped arguing about it. Reed and Hoshi had spent days finding this planet. It was uninhabited, had climates that ranged from snowy to tropical, much like Earth, but with less humidity. They were going to camp here for a week with nothing to do but relax. Trip and T'Pol hadn't been spending anytime with the rest of the crew. No idle chit chat with anyone, not even each other. The pair spent all their time together, but no one heard them speak a word that wasn't work related since Elizabeth's funeral.

Once the shuttle landed and they found an area to set up camp Trip and T'Pol seemed to enter a world all their own. Their friends watched as Trip took T'Pol's tent and began setting it up for her without being asked. She assisted him silently then they took his and set it up next to her own. Trip carefully laid out a sleeping bag and pillows in T'Pol's tent before doing the same in his own. He nodded to her before placing her bag in her tent as he watched her walk away from the camp.

"_T'Pol we have to talk out loud or they are going to figure this out. I have no problem keeping our private life private, but to do that we have to be careful. How else am I supposed to explain that I just know where or how you are?" _

"I _hadn't thought about that. It's just too hard to talk to anyone but you right now. My emotions are too strong and my control is too weak to deal with their emotions too."_

"_I understand and I will do whatever you need me to do. You don't have to talk to anyone but me. I'll take care of everything, just help me keep them from being curious about us as much as possible. Can you do that?"_

"I _will do whatever you need me to do. I promised we would get through this together and I meant that, but I need to regain my control."_

"_Do you need me to meditate with you or can you do it on your own?"_

"_I still am unable to meditate without your assistance, but I would like to spend some time alone. I will let you know when to come to me."_

"_I'll just tell the Captain you told me you were going while we were putting up the tents."_

"_Agreed."_

Trip moved to a spot near the campfire the group had started, grabbed a backrest, stuck it in the dirt, and sat down. He filled a cup with coffee from the pot sitting near the fire and laid back closing his eyes and waited. He counted 1001...1002...1003.. to see how long it would be before someone asked where T'Pol had gone. Jon made it all of 8 seconds.

"Do you know where T'Pol went, Trip?"

With his eyes closed he responded. "Yeah, Captain, she said she needed some time alone. She's fine, just let her be."

"Are you sure she'll be alright by herself?" Jon asked with concern in his voice.

Trip almost laughed at this. He answered without opening his eyes. "She may be an emotional wreck, but she's still a Vulcan. In fact she's probably more dangerous now than normal, so don't worry about her. She can take care of herself." Besides Trip thought to himself 'she has me to protect her'. He felt an inking of pride coming from T'Pol.

Archer sat staring at Trip. He seemed to be more at ease than he had been earlier. By no means relaxed, but better. He had begun to realize he didn't know Trip much anymore. They had been friends for years before Enterprise, but after the Xindi attacked everything changed. Being the Captain of Enterprise had taken precedence over all else. Jonathon Archer became his father during that time. The part of his father he always hated. The part that became so obsessed with his work that nothing else mattered. Friends were irrelevant and unnecessary. Emotional connections only made the job harder. He began to understand the attitude Lt. Reed used to have about being close to those you work with. He now knew Malcolm had abandoned his own belief and befriended Trip at some point in their mission. He wasn't sure how close their friendship had become, but he knew they were closer than he and Trip were at this point.

Phlox stood over Trip with his scanner. He appeared to be waiting until the Commander sensed his presence. When Trip finally showed awareness and opened his eyes the doctor stepped closer. "I'd like to run a couple of scans to be sure your system is coming back into balance, Commander Tucker."

Trip jumped up and moved away. "I'm fine doc. I'll get more sleep. I'll eat three meals a day. But no more exams. Stay away from me with that thing. Just let me be." He yelled angrily as he walked quickly to T'Pol's tent.

He removed something from her bag. On his way toward the campfire he grabbed a blanket. Once he refilled his coffee he poured hot water into another cup and dropped a teabag into it and headed in the same direction T'Pol had gone earlier. Malcolm ran to catch up with him.

"Trip, are you alright?"

"I'll be okay. Just tired of being poked and prodded. I'm going to meditate with T'Pol we'll be back later."

"Hang on I'll get you something to take for lunch. You just told Phlox you'd eat three meals a day and if you don't it will give him just the excuse he needs to keep trying to exam you."

Malcolm was right Trip thought as sat the cups on the rock next to him and waited. If Trip didn't start taking better care of himself the Doc would force him to submit to a through exam and he couldn't do that. He'd promised T'Pol to keep their relationship private and if Phlox took scans he might discover something they weren't prepared to deal with yet. The only person T'Pol agreed to confide in was Malcolm and Trip hadn't decided if he was going to do that or not. He simply needed time to clear his head a little before he made any decisions that affected their future. Once they told anyone the likelihood of it remaining a secret became less and less likely.

Malcolm returned with two meals. "I got the vegetable surprise for T'Pol and the meat surprise for you." Trip knew how much Malcolm hated these prepackaged meals. He said they reminded him of baby food. It all had different names and ingredients, but somehow all tasted the same. He hadn't ever thought of them like that until Mr. I'll eat most anything brought it up on a previous away mission. From what he could remember about the stuff his aunts fed their babies he had to agree. Well maybe not the desserts. He'd taste tested them when helping to feed his nieces and nephews and with the exception of pears he liked most of those.

"Do what you can to keep those two away from me. I'm gonna say or do something I'll regret later if they don't just back off." Trip had come close to throwing punches at both of them recently.

"I'll do my best. Let me know if you need anything okay." Malcolm had seen him like this when Lizzie died. He had tried to help him then and made it worse because Trip wasn't ready to be helped. He had the Xindi to direct all his anger and rage in his quest to get revenge then, but now he had no one to rage against. He couldn't take out Terra Prime and others like them, so he vented on whomever happened to be around when he became overwhelmed.

"Thanks, Mal." Trip said wearily as he turned and walked away.

"Maybe I should try meditating. Do you think it will help me as much as it has you?"

Trip adjusted the blanket and meals in his grasp, so he could again carry the coffee and tea to the spot T'Pol had chosen for their meditation and neuro-pressure. "Anytime you want to learn we'll teach you." Would meditation help Mal? Probably and it sure couldn't hurt. It might help him relax and be less stiff and standoffish with people. Trip and Travis seemed to be the only ones he associated with in his off duty time. It struck him as strange that the one person who was more reclusive than he had been lately was now trying to get him to step back out into the world. The more Trip thought about it the more he knew that Malcolm needed Trip's outgoing nature to help him develop any non work related relationship with the crew.

T'Pol reached up and took the cup of tea. Trip put the lunches down with his coffee and laid the blanket out near T'Pol.

"As much as I hate to admit it Jon was right. We needed to get off the ship. Break the routine." Now if he could just get the captain and Phlox to let him grieve in peace.

"I would never have thought I would find such a place calming."

"How 'bout we eat this delicious lunch Malcolm sent first, then meditate. Neuro-pressure last because I always need a nap after." T'Pol told him about the positions she hadn't taught him that were meant to stimulate rather than relax. Those lessons would come later. For now they both needed rest. Good uninterrupted, dreamless sleep. He'd spent all his time in T'Pol's quarters. He curled up on her bed sleeping with her next to him. Being here with Jon, Phlox, and Malcolm made sleeping in the same tent impossible, so he had every intention of taking a nap snuggled up to T'Pol before they went back to camp.

After meditating and completing all the neuro-pressure postures they could do with their clothes on they'd laid down, snuggled up and fallen to sleep. Trip heard the snapping of twigs before he opened his eyes. He knew it was late afternoon because the air felt warm and still and he could feel the sun on his back instead of on his face. When he looked in the direction of the noise he saw Malcolm with his tricorder standing watching them. Trip put his finger to his lips as he disentangled his arms and legs from his embrace of T'Pol.

Malcolm knew these two had become close friends, but now he knew it was more. They had been wrapped around each other sleeping. T'Pol had not only allowed Trip to enter her space, but she allowed him to hold her and Trip hadn't been embarrassed at being caught in such a position with her.

"Sorry to bother you, but the Captain was getting worried that you hadn't come back, so I came looking for you before he did."

"Having the Captain find us together like that wouldn't...." Trip didn't finish because Malcolm put his hand up in his face.

"You don't have to say it. He's the Captain and you two want your personal life to stay private. I get it."

Trip turned and headed in the direction of what he thought was a beach. T'Pol had told him it was there, but he hadn't checked it out yet. Any other time that would have been the first thing he'd have done when they landed, but today he'd needed to take care of T'Pol first. "Let's see if we can find the beach."

"Will T'Pol be okay if she wakes up and you're gone?"

Trip was touched that Malcolm cared. "She's still asleep. She'll know where I'm at and join us when she wakes up."

Malcolm didn't inquire as to how that was possible. Watching Trip's body language assured him his friend wasn't worried and knew what he was talking about, so he continued to follow him.

They found the beach. Trip immediately took off his shoes and walked toward the water. The color of the water went from a pale green on the shoreline to a deep blue farther out. The sand was white and he could feel the warmth as it worked its way between his toes. The coarseness massaged the bottom of his feet as he continued his quest to get them wet.

Malcolm stopped just before they reached the place in the sand where the waves stopped their assault on the beach. He watched as his friend walked out knee deep, stood there and inhaled the fresh air filling his lungs several times. With each breath tension seemed to be released from his body.

Trip turned and walked back inland away from the water's edge. When he sat in the sand Malcolm sat across from him.

"Mal, I really need you to keep quiet about T'Pol and I. You can't say anything to anybody. There's a lot I need to tell you, but not today."

"No one will hear anything from me. You told me once that you should have never gotten involved with her. It seems you were wrong."

"We haven't exactly been the best at talking to each other. It made everything so much worse than it needed to be."

"You talk all the time. In fact your banter back and forth has been some of the most memorable on the bridge."

"We talk, but sometimes it feels like it's in code. We can't seem to say what we mean clearly and directly."

"You just need to work on it. Now is probably a good time to start while you help each other get through this."

Trip turned just as T'Pol became visible walking toward them. "_The nap helped you more than it helped me I see."_

"_Thank you for making me rest. I was being stubborn."_

"_I'm just glad you finally listened to me. There's no need to thank me for taking care of you. Now is there anything you need besides meditation right now?"_

"_No. I'll take my candle and go meditate over there, so you and the Lieutenant can continue to talk."_

"_Hang on a second."_

"We're going to meditate now. You said you'd like to learn. This is as good a time as any if you were serious." Trip had mentioned meditating to Malcolm before. Malcolm could use some relaxation techniques. Even if he never meditated the breathing exercises would come in handy.

The three sat in a circle on the beach around the burning candle. It took T'Pol half an hour to get Lt. Reed to relax, while taking cleansing breaths. Then another half hour to find something to focus on to calm himself. Humans had so much trouble using the candle flame like Vulcans were trained to do. Trip had to find a faint noise of some kind in the background if his engine was not available. Malcolm finally closed his eyes and focused on his breathing in and out. While Trip and T'Pol meditated together in their white space, Malcolm found himself floating in the stars. He had no idea if this were normal but he felt light and free from all the stress in his life. This is where he was suddenly shaken from when the Captain and Phlox found them.

"Hey, Captain." Malcolm could tell he wasn't happy. The sun was just starting to go down so Malcolm knew they must have been sitting here for several hours.

Trip's eyes opened and T'Pol's followed. The look from Archer made them all feel as if they were school children caught doing something wrong on the playground at recess. Trip was in no mood to be scolded. "Is there a problem Captain?" Trip hadn't even tried to hide the edge in his voice.

"Just that you two disappeared hours ago and nobody knew where you were." Not to mention Malcolm had gone in search of them and disappeared himself. "When did you two start meditating?" Archer inquired as he pointed at Trip and Malcolm.

"I started meditating several weeks ago when T'Pol suggested it might help me sleep along with the neuro-pressure. Malcolm started today." Trip didn't really want to fight with Jon. Their friendship was strained enough, but he wasn't going to let him do anything to interfere with his and T'Pol's grieving process either. He'd gotten his way and made them come to this planet, but they didn't need to be watched like children. "We're fine and I'm sorry we've been gone all day. But it really had been a good day, so let's just go back to camp and get some dinner." He hoped that ended this discussion.

"_Try talking to the Captain about your friendship. Let him know this isn't the time to try to repair it, but you will as soon as you are feeling stronger."_

"_I will. How is it that someone who never had friends before understands how to be one?"_

"_You have been a very good teacher." _Trip smiled within their bond.

Trip leaned in towards Malcolm's ear. "Mal, could you get Phlox to walk up ahead with you so I can talk to Jon? I need to do a little damage control before he gets more bent out of shape. He and I need to spend some time working on our friendship." The mental list of things he needed to work on kept getting longer.

Malcolm and Trip had discussed this matter several times. Trip had been angry that the Captain had let Enterprise and their mission come between them. He'd refused to make any allowance for the responsibilities Archer had. Malcolm knew that Trip had finally come to understand that they could still be friends, just not like they had been before. Malcolm now suspected that T'Pol had been the one to finally break through Trip's stubbornness to make him see that he simply needed to redefine their relationship until they were no longer serving on the same ship. The Captain hadn't come to that realization yet. Trip needed to find the words to explain the new boundaries their relationship would need to have. It wasn't perfect, but it was the best they could do until Jon was no longer Trip's superior officer. Enterprise would always come first for Jon. Trip required the same loyalty from Jon that Trip and Malcolm now shared to get back to where they started. It made Trip sad, but he finally accepted that that was the way it had to be for now.

When the rest of the group got far enough ahead Trip brought up his concerns. "Jon, I know we need to talk, but I can't do that right now. I'm exhausted and just getting myself out of bed every day is a struggle right now. Can we get together once we get back on Enterprise? We can start having breakfast once or twice a week if you want or even dinner."

Trip, T'Pol, and, Jon used to have dinner together most every night and Trip had no objection to re-instituting it, but not every night. Since they stopped he discovered he enjoyed having meals with T'Pol and/or Malcolm in the mess hall or in their quarters. He no longer wanted to restrict his off duty time to one or two people. He needed more to his life than work and one friend. He got into emotional trouble when he cut himself off from people and he wanted to avoid that in the future. If he hadn't had T'Pol and Malcolm he doubted he would have survived the last 2 years.

"We could go back to dinner with T'Pol." Jon offered. He'd missed having company at dinner.

"Can we maybe not do it every night and designate some nights to exclude ship's business or have breakfast when we need to discuss business."

"Is there some reason you don't want to have dinner every night?" Jon was hurt that Trip didn't seem to want to spend much time with him.

"It's just I have other people in my life that I like to spend mealtimes with. I've kind of gotten used to having meals with my friends. And I really like eating alone sometimes or with others there but not talking." He ate with T'Pol most nights, but he did have times when he ate in his quarters by himself. He found that he actually liked the quiet. He needed it sometimes.

"I guess we can do that. We'll have breakfast to discuss ship's business and dinner a couple of nights a week. Any preferences?"

Trip already knew which nights. The two nights that chef made the Captain and Trip's favorite dishes. T'Pol had asked him to try to cut down on his meat eating for health reasons. This way he would could do that by restricting himself to one night a week for meat. "Wednesday (for seafood or cat fish) and Sunday (for steak or prime rib) work for me. Maybe we could throw in a water polo match once in a while after dinner on Sunday when you have new ones."

Jon's mood lightened when he mentioned watching water polo with him. They hadn't watched a match in months. "Sounds good. Should I invite T'Pol to join us?"

"Why not ask her to come on Wednesday nights if you want and keep Sunday just us guys?" He knew she'd appreciate not having to sit through their steak dinners and Sunday would give her another night on her own. He and Malcolm had been doing Thursday night workout sessions and often played pool or cards while shooting the breeze. He'd missed the last 3 weeks. He needed to make a point of talking to Malcolm about that.

"So is there anything I can do for you while we're down here?"

"T'Pol and I are helping each other and we just need everybody to let us. We're going to get through this, just back off and let us find our own way."

Jon resented the fact that Malcolm obviously was able to help them. Seeing the three of them meditating had been a jolt to his system. Trip could never sit still and Malcolm didn't seem like the type of person who would believe in spiritual contemplation of any kind. Jon was just beginning to see how much Trip had changed and how much he had to learn about his new life. He carried himself different. He wasn't as accepting of what others told him unless they were within a very select circle, which Jon was sure he had been moved out of. The old Trip wouldn't have negotiated terms for their renewed friendship. He would simply have gone along with whatever Jon had suggested. He wasn't sure if he liked some of these changes, but he knew he had no choice but to accept them if he stood any chance of repairing their friendship.

Phlox had been standing back watching the Commanders as they prepared dinner. Chef had packed a variety of meats, vegetables, and desserts for the group and they were putting together their meal. He kept his distance knowing full well that Commander Tucker hated doctors and was adamant about not being under observation and examined unless he was deathly ill. T'Pol was almost as bad. She refused to let him examine her unless she was unable to prevent it due to immobility for whatever reason. Her refusal for medical treatment of any kind had gotten worse in the last several weeks. The only person she seemed to have any contact with was Commander Tucker and now apparently Lt. Reed. Something had taken place in the time the three were gone today, but he had no idea what it was. He only knew that all three seemed more relaxed and at ease with each other than he had ever seen them before.

The next morning T'Pol got up early and headed off on her own. Trip woke later and found Malcolm drinking coffee by the fire. Once he checked on T'Pol through the bond he got his own coffee.

"So how'd you sleep?"

"Good. I felt great after we came back to camp last night. I never believed you when you told me about meditating. It thought you just liked it because you liked your instructor." Malcolm said almost whispering.

"Well I do, but the meditation helps too. Keep practicing and it gets easier and it also gets better. Your sense of time gets better, so you know how long you've been at it. I had T'Pol to help with that so I wasn't late for my shift or for a staff meeting. Now I can go for 5 minutes or 5 hours depending on how much time I have. If you can't meditate try just doing the breathing. It helps you calm down and clear your head. It keeps me from losing my temper as much as I used too." It wasn't working well right now though.

"Are you two going to be alright. You've both lost so much since this mission started. I keep wondering when you'll reach that breaking point."

"I thought it was Elizabeth's death for both of us, but we're surviving. It's easier doing this together, but it's also harder sometimes. There are days when the magnitude of the emotions from both of us are more than I think we can handle. But then there are moments when the emotions are so incredible that I can't believe how lucky we are. We just need more of those incredible moments strung together to remind us what's waiting for us at the end of all this. Yesterday was the first time either of us went for more than an hour not feeling totally devastated. I hadn't had more than an hours sleep at a time until that nap we took."

Malcolm had worried that they might not sleep last night after having slept so long in the afternoon. "Did you sleep last night?"

"I had bad dreams all night like usual. Neuro-pressure and T'Pol are the only things that stop them. If the neuro-pressure doesn't work sleeping next to her helps me sleep. I keep her awake when I don't sleep, so I have to do whatever I can to keep myself from having nightmares."

"That's why you stopped drinking coffee at night." Malcolm asked him at the time why he stopped but Trip would never say.

"It's really hard to explain not sleeping to a sleep deprived, pissed off Vulcan if you've been drinking a stimulate at all hours."

Archer and Phlox joined them with their own morning beverages. Trip sat back and listened to the three men talk and let his mind drift.

Once Trip assured everyone that T'Pol was fine off by herself he decided he needed to get into the water. He grabbed a pair of clean Starfleet blues, a pair of shorts, a towel, and headed to the beach still in his pajama bottoms. Malcolm wouldn't swim, but he decided sitting in the warm sand was relaxing so he followed after him. Jon and Phlox soon fell into line behind them. As they watched Trip strip off his pj's and run bare-assed into the water Malcolm wondered when he had gotten so uninhibited. Maybe the fact that it was just the men there had something to do with it, but when T'Pol showed up and headed toward the water Malcolm felt his insides cinch up. When her feet hit the water she stopped. Trip still unconcerned carried on a conversation with her between diving underwater.

Jon entered the water and started teasing Trip about being stuck in the water as long as T'Pol was here. She knew he had decided to swim nude but had to play along with not knowing.

"Is there some problem I'm unaware of Captain?" T'Pol asked with her most innocent voice.

"Just that our chief engineer found it to be necessary to swim without benefit of a bathing suit." Archer answered.

"Is that true Commander?"

"You weren't here when I came in and now that you are you can just turn around when I decide to get out." Trip grinned as he shrugged his shoulders.

"I may decide to sit right here for several hours. I've never seen a fully nude human male before and one who looks like a prune would be interesting, indeed." He knew she was teasing him.

"Well, if you wouldn't be embarrassed Commander then I won't be either." He yelled back over his shoulder. "I guess there's no problem after all Jon." Trip knew Jon would think he was bluffing, but T'Pol issued a challenge and he was in no mood to ignore it. If she followed through with her threat he wasn't sure what he would do. Looking at her right now and searching for some answer in the bond Trip couldn't be sure if she was serious or not.

When he tired of swimming Trip looked to the beach where T'Pol stood watching him. He made a turning motion with his finger. "T'Pol if you'll turn around and walk about five feet back I'll let you know when you can turn back around. We can go make breakfast and go for that walk you mentioned earlier."

Trip waited for her to do as he asked. She kept staring at him. She made no move to comply. He waited and tried coaxing her silently, but she didn't move and didn't respond to his internal pleas. After telling her several times that he was coming out whether she turned around or not he started moving. He had no reason to be embarrassed as she had seen him naked before, but the others didn't know that. She stayed put until the very last second just to see if he would stop or not. He hadn't. He was still in just enough of a pissy mood to want to take up the challenge without considering the consequences.

Malcolm watched Captain Archer's reaction when Trip took the step that brought him into full view of T'Pol without the slightest of hesitation. But when he saw that Trip dared her and she backed down his expression changed. Jon wasn't sure there was anyone else who would even attempt such a thing with his first officer and he doubted that if there were that they would have pushed her that far and won.

"_You sure pushed that to the limit darlin'. I thought Jon was going to have a heart attack right here."_

"_It was pleasurable to see the Captain turn several shades of red."_

"_Just be careful that sense of humor of yours doesn't get us into trouble."_

"_They think it was just another example of our challenging each other."_

"_What do you mean? If it wasn't just another challenge then what was it?"_

"_My way of appreciating the physical attributes of my mate while challenging him."_

"_This is neither the time or place to be appreciating my attributes." _That's all he needed was to have a physical reaction to her in front of three other guys.

Trip dried off and pulled on his underwear and shorts as he considered T'Pol's playful mood. "You can turn around now." His mood wasn't her fault. He winked at her just before he turned back toward the water. "We're going to go have some breakfast and then go for a walk. We'll catch up later."

With that the couple went back to camp leaving Malcolm practicing his breathing while Jon swam and Phlox finished reading whatever he had brought along.

They walked for almost an hour before they came across a stand of trees that provided a shaded place to sit with protection from being seen by anyone approaching before they became aware. They spent some time meditating together quietly then T'Pol snuggled in tighter against his chest as they talked.

"Trip do you wish you had gone home to see your parents when Captain Archer gave you the time?" She didn't have a family to go home to but she knew his family was very important to him.

"My mom and dad are still not over Lizzie. I couldn't go there and make them deal with our grief too. It would have been too hard on them and me. Starfleet ordered me not to tell them anything. I used to tell them most everything that happened to me and I probably would have continued to tell them most things even if I had to edit out the worst of it. Since Lizzie died I don't tell them much of anything that really happens. It would scare them to death. And I would have wanted you to come with me, but I'm not ready to discuss us with anybody but you and Malcolm."

"Do you think your parents would be upset about you being with a Vulcan?"

"I don't think so, but they would have too many questions that I'm not ready to answer. It's not that I can't it's that I really want to keep us between us for as long as possible. You and I can talk about whatever you want, but I want us to enjoy each other for a while before anybody else has anything to say about it. Do you understand?"

"I think I do. There will be issues to deal with once others know about our relationship and it would be too much right now." Being together was hard enough on Enterprise without the Captain and crew knowing. They hadn't really faced the problems their relationship brought to their professional life and she knew they weren't going to deal with them until they had to. Trip remained ever the optimist believing that everything would work out for the best even in the face of experiences that had shown him otherwise. He refused to see problems or deal with them until they were unavoidable. But once he turned that corner there was no stopping him. He attacked them with everything he had.

Most of his innocence had been lost when their mission changed to pursuing the Xindi, but not all. He lost track of those remaining hopeful parts of himself from time to time, but T'Pol was grateful that happened for shorter and shorter periods of time now. At some point she had begun to depend on his enthusiasm and love of life. It took her a long time to realize how much she needed that from him. Almost as much as she knew he needed it for himself.

Trip had been taking in this planet since they arrived. "Darlin', not to change the subject but do you have any idea why this planet is uninhabited? I mean there's water, plant life, clean air and everything else to sustain life, so why isn't there at least some wildlife here?"

"I have been asking myself the same question. Perhaps we should ask Malcolm. Didn't he and Hoshi find this planet?"

"I think so. All I know is that Jon said that it had several different climates and no life signs. If something happened to wipe out all the wildlife it must have happened several hundred years ago right? Wouldn't it have taken that long for the vegetation to grow this big?"

"You're correct. They have thorough sensor readings and scans I can study. I'm curious about it, but the Captain ordered us to relax for the entire week. He said absolutely no work. So unless we are going to choose to disobey an order it will have to wait until we get back to Enterprise."

"How many times have I tried to get you to forget work and you wouldn't do it?"

He caught her devilish little grin in his mind's eye. "You cannot order me to but Captain Archer can." Trip wrapped his arms around her and squeezed. They both felt how good it was to tease back and forth again. They rested back against the tree and dozed for a couple of hours. They were going to have to do modified neuro-pressure sessions together in Trip's tent if there was going to be any possibility he could get to sleep at night. T'Pol had already begun to work out what positions they could complete without changes and how they could modify others to be acceptable here.

When they returned to camp they grabbed something for lunch and then went to find the rest of their group on the beach. Jon and Malcolm were trying to teach Phlox how to throw a frisbee. They had fashioned it out of some scrap material they found. It wasn't the best looking thing he'd ever seen, but it seemed to serve the purpose. As Trip watched the doctor try to throw the thing back to them he remembered his childhood days on a beach. "Doc, you remind me of Lizzie when we tried to teach her how to throw a frisbee. We spent days trying and she could never get the damn thing more than a foot or two off the ground before it nosedived into the sand. She could skip a rock twice as far as I could, but frisbees were beyond her." Trip explained as he tried to show Phlox how to throw it back to Jon. After several more attempts Phlox handed it back to Trip stating he would continue to watch and learn from his technique.

Malcolm and Jon both took note of Trips casual mention of his sister. At least that wound seemed to have healed. T'Pol had felt his mood start to change. He continued to be fine until he reached out with his left arm to grab the frisbee as it zoomed by. The minute he felt the twinge from the not quite healed injury whatever barriers had been keeping the pain away broke.

T'Pol felt it and wanted nothing more than to go to him, but could not. She made herself stay seated and kept her face from registering her discomfort. Trip had tossed the frisbee and ran down the beach on his own. Reed knew Trip would need solitude for a while. He wasn't surprised to hear his friend tell Phlox, who had taken off after him, to go away and leave him alone.

"_Are you okay Trip?"_

"_You know how it is. Fine one minute and a mess the next. You'd think I'd be used to this by now. Between us we've been in mourning for the last two years for one reason or another." Lizzie, their relationship, Lorian, lost crew mates, Koss, T'Les, and now Elizabeth. "Are you okay? I know my emotions screw you up too." _Trip wanted her near him. It helped just to hold her hand.

"_I will be fine. I feel your tears." S_he knew he wouldn't stop until he had gone far enough away to be out of sight of the others. He would not allow himself to cry in front of them if he could avoid it. She had yet to determine if it was some misplaced male pride or just his need to keep his deepest feelings private that caused this behavior. T'Pol rose and walked back toward camp until she was sure no one would see where she had gone. She changed direction to find her way down the beach.

Once she found him they moved off the sand back where they could not be seen. Trip sat down and pulled her down so she sat between his legs and against his chest. He laid his head on her shoulder and let the tears roll down his cheeks. They meditated until the sun started to set then returned to camp.

Malcolm stood up. He bent down and whispered into T'Pol's ear. "I'm going to go make dinner. Is there anything I should know besides go easy on any spices and no meat for you?"

Trip obviously had discussed her with Malcolm. At least enough that he knew she didn't like really spicy food. "There isn't anything else you need to know. I wasn't aware that you knew how to cook."

"I don't do it often, but my mother insisted I know how to keep myself from starving. She assumed I would be a bachelor all my life." He had trouble with all relationships, but having a relationship with a woman was impossible. T'Pol was the first woman he could maybe call a friend and that had only happened yesterday. All the other women he knew were either related to him or were professional acquaintances.

"There are foods I do not like, but I didn't see any of them in the items Chef sent."

"It will be ready in an hour."

Dinner was over. Malcolm, Jon, and Phlox sat around the fire with drinks relaxing before retiring for the night. The stillness of the evening quickly became charged.

"T'Pol what the hell was that." The angry words came from Trip's tent just before he came flying through the flap pressing his fingertips into his back.

"I'm sorry Commander I should have been paying more attention."

"This is supposed to help me sleep not disable me. I told you there wasn't enough room to do this in there."

"Then what would you suggest? You need sleep and this is the only way I know how to help you."

Trip reached for a blanket and lantern. With the items in hand he turned and marched off into the darkness. When it became apparent that T'Pol wasn't following him he motioned with his hand as he snapped at her.

"Are you coming Commander or is there some way I can administer neuro-pressure to myself?"

T'Pol stomped through the brush to get ahead of him stopping for a second to whisper, "Are you upset with me?"

In his head he questioned her. "_Why are you whispering?"_

"_Because I didn't want to be overheard?"_

"_You're the Vulcan and this bond is because of you and you somehow forgot they can't hear you in my head?"_

She chose to ignore his snottiness, but responded with her own frustration showing. "_You have not answered my question? Are you upset with me?"_

"Is this an acceptable spot T'Pol?" Trip asked loud enough to be heard as he checked to be sure they were close enough to camp to be seen, but far enough away to obscure their movements.

"It is acceptable." She replied as her mate laid out the blanket and set the lantern down.

"_No, I'm not upset with you. That last position hurt and I got angry, but mostly I'm frustrated. I feel like we're lab rats who've been set loose in some maze to be observed by the captain and the doctor. I'm supposed to follow these steps they set out for me before I'm declared better. All I want is for us to be together and help each other. I know they're my friends and they're looking out for me, but enough is enough." _He saw the frustration in her eyes_. "I shouldn't take it out on you."_

"_You really have issues with this idea of being a lab rat." _This wasn't the first time he had used that particular phrase. She was unaware of his stating the same sentiment to Dr. Phlox after he found out about Sim. The thoughts and images of this time were front and center and she couldn't miss them as his internal battle raged. He'd never mentioned his feelings about Sim to her.

He hated doctors. Never liked the idea that medicine was considered a practice and found he liked being the subject of such practice even more abhorrent. He was grateful to be alive, but didn't want to think about why he was still around. "_Don't you? Being here has helped, but we have to be careful not to appear to intimate so no one gets the wrong idea and their hovering is making me crazy. They make me feel like I'm a kid who needs his mommy and daddy to keep me safe and well. Why don't they crowd you?"_

"_I think they're afraid of me. I'm not sure what they think I might do to them, but they have always kept their distance. Everyone has except you. And now Malcolm. You know it will be the same on Enterprise."_

"_It's not the same. We may not have a lot of privacy, but we have some. I can live with that. We have no choice." _He told her as he rubbed his hands up and down his face.

"_You are extremely irritable when you do not get enough sleep and we both suffer."_

"_I know. I'm being selfish and self-centered again."_

"_Would you stop insulting my mate. He is simply tired and needs rest."_

A grin broke out across his mouth. She forgave him. "I'm sorry for losing my temper." Trip said this for the benefit of those listening from camp.

"Apology accepted. Now lay down and let's start from the first posture again." T'Pol could feel the pinched nerve she had caused in his shoulder. He had been attempting to mask the pain from her.

"Tell me about your second foremother T'Mir?" He spoke quietly, but out loud.

"I thought you didn't believe my story about her."

"I didn't then, but I didn't know you very well. I do now so tell me about her."

"She explored many worlds before she retired. My mother said I took after her. She was stubborn, opinionated, and very independent."

"So your mom thought you were stubborn?"

"We had many disagreements through the years. Until my father died he always refereed our fights. Once he was no longer there to stand between us our relationship became strained."

He could feel her sadness. "It's alright. I understand." He tried to change the subject. "Which side of the family was T'Mir from?"

"From my mothers. I have been told I inherited my imagination and curiosity from T'Mir. My foremother told me many stories about her when I was a child. She left Vulcan to explore the first chance she got and never looked back. Her bondmate was also an explorer and scientist. They stayed in space until they could no longer put off returning to Vulcan to have a family. Once their son was born they both remained at the Ministry of Science until he left home."

"So you're following in her footsteps exploring space?"

"Not just hers. My first foremother also spent several years on a scientific mission on a starship. My mother was the first that never left Vulcan. She never wished to explore."

"Well, I'm glad you took after your ancestors or we would never have met."

The topic became more personal so she switched to speaking in the bond_. "If you remember I was assigned to the Vulcan Consulate on Earth before I was assigned to Enterprise. Considering all the interactions you have had with Ambassador Soval I'm sure we would have met at some point. We would not have spent as much time together." _After reconsidering her statement. "_Although he has spent a considerable amount of time aboard Enterprise."_

"_Yeah, maybe we would have met at that. And you did say you were attracted to me the first time we met." _Trip teased.

"_I seem to remember a certain Commander's scent being one of extreme arousal at that meeting and then that same Commander took liberties with the first officer in the decon chamber on their very first mission."_

A hearty laugh escaped from deep in Trip chest. "_Guilty as charged." _He had dreams about her for weeks after that. "_I feel much better now. You have magic fingers."_

"_Touch makes our bond become more balanced. You are experiencing the affects of being forced to remain separated for several hours at a time."_

"If we've been bonded for more than a year then it's fully formed, right?"

"Yes. _I think it started in the Expanse and it may have become permanent when I married Koss. I was to bond to him, but you and I had already formed a mating bond by then. I believe it became permanent during the bonding ceremony."_

Trip's shock tore through his mind. First were bonded now were married. Do I get a say in anything anymore. "_So we got married that day instead of you and Koss?"_

"_Technically yes. It is unofficial until our bond is formally recognized by a priest." _T'Pol didn't know what to do. Trip was angry at her.

"_I'm not mad at you. We both did this. I'd just have liked to know what was going on instead things just keep happening to us. I never believed in fate before, but I guess I have to now. Are we going to be able to keep all this a secret?"_

"_Unless something were to harm you I will be able to keep my feelings hidden, but I'm not sure if you can."_

"_I've had these feelings for a long time now and no one really knows it, except Mal. But you can teach me how to be more in control of my reactions and emotions, can't you?"_

"_You wish me to teach you how to be more Vulcan?"_

"_If it helps keep me from screwing up then yes I'll be Vulcan on the outside when I need to be and human on the inside."_

"_We can certainly try. You learned shielding techniques much faster and easier than I anticipated. It will take practice."_

"_Will we be able to keep other Vulcans from figuring it out?"_

"_That will depend on their telepathic abilities. In some cases we will be unable to have any mental contact to avoid detection."_

"_Is Soval very telepathic?"_

"_No he is not. He had a bond with his mate, but it was very weak from what I've been told."_

"_Am I telepathic or is this just because of you?"_

"_I don't know. There are no other telepaths here to see if you are receptive to them. I find it hard to believe that your mind is only tuned to mine. There are no cases I know of where someone became telepathic to only one person. I do believe you have very strong empathic abilities. It is one reason you get along so readily with a large number of people. You read their emotions without even being aware of it and adapt accordingly to make them feel at ease."_

"_It sure fails me sometimes. There are some people who I can't seem to get along with no matter what I do."_

"_That may be because you are feeling something from them that tells you not to trust them. You once told me you go with your gut feeling."_

"_So what happened with Ambassador Soval? I couldn't stand him and now I find out he actually likes Humans. He even complimented me on my handling of the whole Andorian mess. My gut sure had him figured out wrong."_

"_It's not perfect. You have to admit he was fairly convincing. I'm Vulcan and have known him for several years and I was convinced he disliked and did not trust humans as well."_

"_You and the whole High Command. I guess I shouldn't feel bad if all those Vulcans were fooled." _Trip began to yawn. The neuro-pressure had done it's job.

"_Let's return to our tents so you can get some sleep" _

"_I want to go back to Enterprise. Five more days. I can't stand five more days of not being able to sleep because you're not with me." _Trip complained as he crawled into his sleeping bag.

"_I thought you liked the beach and vacations?"_

"_I do, but not when they are forced on me and other people are dictating how and with whom I spend my time."_

"_Perhaps you should spend some time by yourself tomorrow. It may help you enjoy yourself more." _T'Pol had the blanket they had been using for neuro-pressure wrapped around her chest.

"_You're just as unhappy about being here with our babysitters as I am. You miss snuggling up to go to sleep as much as I do."_

"_I am fine. My discipline will..."_

"_Discipline? What's discipline got to do with it? You're cuddled up to a blanket because I'm not there."_

There were times when their bond wasn't helpful, especially since her mate had learned to use it so well. "_Good night, Trip."_

Trip punched his pillow. "_Good night darlin'." _I'm disciplined he insisted to himself. At least she has a blanket to snuggle up to.

----------

T'Pol found Malcolm on the beach reading through specs for several weapons upgrades he wished to discuss with Trip.

"Malcolm I need you to come with me. Trip needs help."

The lieutenant shook his head. "Please tell me he hasn't managed to get himself in trouble again."

"He says he found a pool of water to bathe in. He used his phase pistol to heat the rock and warmed the water. It's unclear how his foot got stuck, but he needs us to help him get it free."

Malcolm began chastising himself. "I know better than to let him wander around by himself. He always promises to be careful." Malcolm headed back toward their camp. "I need to pick up a few things we might need."

When they arrived at the pool T'Pol stopped. "You will need to take this to him. He needs it to cover himself."

Malcolm took the towel before he continued toward Trip. "What is it with you and no clothes lately?"

Trip snapped back. "How many baths have you taken in your clothes? I thought it was reasonable to assume I'd be by myself."

Malcolm knew it was against his friends nature to hope for the best, but plan for the worst. "You have a point. It would be far less relaxing if you wore clothes." He conceded as he threw the towel to him. Once Trip had wrapped it around his waist and secured it by tucking in the end Malcolm went closer to assess the situation. "This is really none of my business, but T'Pol acts as if she's never seen you naked before."

"She hasn't." That wasn't totally true, but Malcolm didn't need to know about that night and the disastrous results.

"Did I miss something? You've been doing neuro-pressure for months, you spend your nights in her quarters, and actually sleep?"

"I guess we could have had sex sometime after her marriage or maybe right after her Mom died. Then again we could have celebrated when her husband divorced her, although that would have meant we were speaking at some point. And me being the insensitive sex crazed guy I am probably should have thought it was okay to deal with my grief by taking her to bed after our daughter died."

"Okay I get it. I've never had a relationship with a woman that wasn't based on sex, so shoot me."

"You shoot people I try not to. T'Pol's right my temper is way out of control. I open my mouth before engaging my brain. Just ignore me until I get myself under control."

"You're fine. It was a stupid thing to say and you had every right to call me on it."

T'Pol leaned in surprising both men who hadn't realized she was that close. "I have no problem looking at his nude body. I simply do not wish to be the cause of embarrassment for the Commander." There was no expression on her face, but Malcolm and Trip both looked like guppies with their mouths hanging open.

"Until just now I thought her sense of humor was something she learned from you, but if she meant what I think she meant that had to be all T'Pol."

"I told you she was funny. You have no idea what she thinks all day that she'd never say out loud. If she did I'd have never won an argument with her. She can zing them faster and more direct."

Malcolm turned to T'Pol. "Is this a newly learned skill?"

"No it is one I have had to work hard at suppressing. It got me into much trouble until I was forced to control it to prevent disciplinary action from my mother and teachers."

"I have to say I like it. You seem to have a very British sense of humor. Irony with just a touch of sarcasm. Perfect."

Trip watched as Malcolm reached into the water trying to dislodge his foot. "Please tell me it's broken?"

Malcolm whipped back up. "Are you daft? Why would you want a broken foot? Don't you have enough to deal with?"

"If it's going to hurt this much it might as well be broken, so we have to go back to Enterprise."

"Great that's all we need is you running around trying to get hurt. You do quite well with accidents as it is."

T'Pol walked away with tools in her hand. "She's pissed." Trip could feel her anger.

"You really can be the biggest pain in the ass. I know these aren't the best of circumstances, but stop making it worse. Have you really looked at T'Pol. She meditates and takes care of you, but she's exhausted. I've only really paid attention since we got here and I see it. I know you're grieving too but shouldn't you be trying to take care of her too?"

Their bond helped, but it wasn't perfect. And T'Pol kept so much to herself. Was Malcolm right? Had she been taking care of him and ignoring her own needs? Trip watched as she worked on the branch she had cut down. It looked like she was trying to taper the end to make a lever to move the rocks that had trapped his ankle. There were dark circles under her eyes and judging by her face she hadn't been sleeping well even when she did sleep. He could feel it through the bond now that he had bothered to ask the question. He really needed to get out of his own head. Figure out how to make the best out of their current situation and get himself and T'Pol well again.

When she came over with the branch Trip wanted to touch her face and let her know he was sorry. But he couldn't. T'Pol may show more of herself to Malcolm if she considered him a friend, but touching was way over the line.

He let out a deep sigh. "Let's get me out of here." There wasn't much he could say at the moment. Sorry wouldn't do it anymore. He needed to get free before he could start taking care of T'Pol.

Malcolm and T'Pol used the lever to unwedge Trip's foot. Malcolm gathered the supplies he'd brought with him while Trip put on his pants. He left T'Pol to tend to his injury.

T'Pol rinsed the towel he had been wearing, ripped it into strips, and began wrapping his ankle. "Darlin' why don't you stop me when I start going off like that?"

"When your sister died, you avoided everyone. You didn't talk. You didn't eat. You didn't sleep. Having you be rude and angry is better than you not being here at all."

All Trip could think was what an idiot he'd been. She would rather suffer through my temper tantrums than be alone. As bad as this hurt having her with him made it so much better than when he'd lost Lizzie. "Please promise me you'll tell me to stop when I'm being unbearable."

"I promise."

Trip stepped down on his foot putting weight on it. "Thanks. My ankle doesn't seem to be broken, just a little bruised and painful. Let's find a spot so we can meditate."

"Meditation can wait until later."

"No, it can't. Let's go meditate now. And if you need to we'll meditate the rest of the day." T'Pol had to meditate, but it certainly wouldn't hurt if he did as well. He insisted everybody leave him alone so he could find his own way to deal with his loss and pain, so he decided now was the time to actually follow through and find his coping mechanisms before he took out himself and everyone around him. He couldn't use hate and rage to drive him forward this time, but he did have love and friendship.

"We will stop by the camp to get something for lunch. You need to eat."

"So do you. Just because you can go without food and water doesn't mean it's healthy too. Especially when your body is already stressed." Now all he had to do was avoid the Doc, so he wouldn't start trying to examine his injury.

After meditating till dusk the two returned to the campsite to find the rest of the group eating dinner. Phlox was babbling on about some colleague at a medical conference he'd attended. Jon was hard to read and Malcolm's eyes were drilling holes through his dinner plate as he stared at it obviously bored silly.

Trip filled two cups with hot water dropping the teabags he retrieved from his tent letting them steep while he retrieved his boots to hide his wrapped foot. He sat to put them on. T'Pol appeared at his side with ration meals for them. Trip looked at his before he grabbed the meal in her hand. "You might be able to make yourself eat these, but there's no way we're eating these 3 times in one day when Chef sent real food. Drink your tea and I'll see what I can throw together." He pointed to a place for her to sit.

After cleaning up from dinner and without consulting T'Pol Trip made a decision. He got up, walked to his tent and closed the flap. He pulled the stakes loose then wadded the material into a big ball. He then did the same with T'Pol's tent. Reaching into the supply containers he removed what he thought they would need. Archer stepped around the fire and stood next to him.

"What are you doing Trip?"

Trip continued his work avoiding looking at the captain. "T'Pol and I are going to go off by ourselves. I can't do this in a fishbowl. You were right about us coming here, getting off Enterprise, but I need to be alone. It's too hard to worry about what I might say or do all the time."

"You can't just take off on your own." Jon wanted him here with friends to help him. To look out for him.

"Look T'Pol is Vulcan and very private about her feelings and so am I. We can be together or leave each other alone and it's okay. We're officially on leave right? Regulations say you have no authority to tell us what we can and can't do until we return to the ship, so we're going. I let you order me to take this leave to avoid a fight, but that's as far as I'm willing to go. If that makes you angry I'm sorry, but I don't have enough strength right now to care." A small part of Trip worried that he might have just done irreparable damage to their friendship, but he really didn't have anything left to give it serious consideration.

Trip continued gathering their supplies. T'Pol remained silent, but took several items to carry. Malcolm handed Trip a bundle. "There's a weapon and a few other things you might need. We'll see you in five days right here. Be careful."

"We will. Is there a communicator in here?" He inquired holding up the bundle.

Malcolm shook his head. "And a tricorder, just in case."

"You really took that 'be prepared' motto to heart didn't you? I'll contact you a couple times a day to let you know we're okay. Just keep it to yourself."

"You know me the resident Boy Scout. Just get better and be safe. I'll keep things quiet here."

Jon watched them each take a lantern and leave. His was angry that Trip had stood up to him and that Malcolm had crossed to Trip's side of the line when he drew it in the sand. Trip was right. They were on leave and free to do as they wished. The only way to stop them would be to get Dr. Phlox to intervene and Archer knew he had no grounds.

Malcolm knew they were right to leave. He'd just have to make the captain believe it while figuring out how he was going to spend the next five days with him. He had never been able to forget that Jonathon Archer was his superior officer. He may be able to have a less formal relationship with him, but he would never be able to be close friends with him. That would make their professional relationship too complicated and Malcolm knew better than to allow that to happen. Loyalty was one thing. Friendship was entirely different.

When Trip got to the beach he stood there and took a deep breath. After several minutes he started walking to his left. They hadn't been down this way yet, so he wanted to see what was there. T'Pol walked along side him. They walked until Trip found an area of sand near enough to the trees that they could find wood for a fire and far enough away from the water to keep them warm at night.

Trip emptied his arms and laid down in the sand letting the warmth relax the tightness in his back. His eyes were closed. T'Pol sat down next to him and lifted his head into her lap as she gently rubbed his temples. They stayed like this for some time until she laid his head back down in the sand and moved with a blanket to lay next to him. He moved to his side and wrapped his arms around her drawing her tightly against him. After several minutes their breathing became relaxed and both drifted off to sleep.

When he awoke Trip tightened his arms around the still sleeping T'Pol. They had slept all night laying under the stars in the sand. The sun rise told him it was around 4 in the morning. He had to get himself straightened out enough to keep his emotions under control to stop inflicting more pain on T'Pol. She couldn't deal with her own emotions if she constantly had to fend off his anger. The sand had dug into his skin causing it to sting now that he was fully awake. As much as he wished to remain here holding the woman he loved he couldn't. He had to move. He took one of the pillows from inside his tent and laid it under T'Pol's head. Leaving her to sleep while he set up camp. The tents were up and the firepit had been dug before he went off to put up the warning beacons Malcolm had included in his care package. He put them around them on three sides about a hundred and fifty feet away. The only intruder he expected was Jon. He knew he'd try to check up on them and Trip wanted warning to be sure he did not catch them during neuro-pressure half dressed or snuggling up asleep. Once the perimeter was safeguarded he went in search of firewood. The back and forth walking produced a large enough pile to last a couple of days. The sleeping bags were zipped together and laid inside his tent. The other tent now stored both duffles and the rest of the supplies.

When Trip came back from swimming in search of the towel he forgotten to take with him he found T'Pol finishing up making breakfast. When she handed him a plate he didn't ask what it was he simply said thank you and set about eating. Those two words were the only ones that been spoken since they started on this adventure last night. He took the cup she offered, surprised it contained coffee. She must have asked how to prepare it for him from someone. But who and when he didn't know. He almost asked, but decided it didn't matter. She had taken the time to learn for him and that's all he cared about.

T'Pol lit her candle then positioned herself to meditate. Trip scooted up behind her. He never asked what about his presence made it easier for her to meditate, but he had guessed it was his touch. When she first began teaching him he thought this position was for his benefit, so she could take him to their white space. Now he was sure that may have been her rationalization for it, but she enjoyed having his arms around her as she leaned back into him. He had moved across from her one session after he no longer needed her assistance to get to their space. She never said a word, but he knew that sitting across from her was not acceptable so he moved behind her and had done so since until they were on the beach with Malcolm.

The calm of the bond they shared flowed between them. Trip couldn't remember when he had spent this long with anybody being comfortably silent. Walking down the beach he closed his eyes and concentrated on the warmth of the sun on his skin and the sound of the waves hitting the beach, This was the feeling he needed to commit to memory. T'Pol had told him to find a memory of feeling that he could easily recall when he became stressed or his emotions threatened to overwhelm him.

"You have found your calm?" T'Pol's voice startled him.

"Yeah, I think I have. Now I need to know how to use it and keep certain emotions from showing in my expression."

"We will discuss it during neuro-pressure this evening."

After contacting Malcolm as he said he would he followed T'Pol as she explored the wooded area around them. They found a rather large grouping of rocks and climbed to the top and sat.

"If you could go anywhere you wanted where would you go?" Trip asked. He had no idea what she liked to do in her free time away from the ship.

"I would travel in space or visit planets I've never been to."

"Why have I always gotten the feeling you didn't like exploring. I have never been able to figure out why you are out in space when you quote chapter and verse from the Vulcan protocols that keep you at a distance from planets and other species. I mean they require you to spend months sending probes and observing before making contact."

T'Pol had seemed rather fixated on getting Captain Archer to follow the Vulcan protocols when they encountered a new species or planet. "I believe that caution is required when encountering new species, but not so much that first contact takes months. I do still believe announcing every detail about Earth or Vulcan and their inhabitants to every species one meets is unacceptable. You need to know something about them before you draw them a map to get to your home."

"We were pretty naive when we first came out here. I think Jon has learned. I know I have. I used to just trust people now they have to earn it."

"Being open to new experiences doesn't mean you can't be cautious."

"Do you want to stay out in space after we leave Starfleet?"

"I can't see myself returning to Vulcan for some years, if ever. I'm not sure I'd be welcomed on Earth, especially since I'm not attached to the Consulate there anymore. I've burned many bridges and find myself without a plan for the future. What had you planned to do once you left Starfleet?"

"I thought I wanted to have my own ship like Jon, but I don't anymore. I've seen what it's done to him and I can't live my life without friends or family. I want to work on engines. I'd prefer to build them not just constantly rebuild the same one over and over. There are few improvements that can be made to Enterprise because of the design. And I want to be with you no matter what we do."

"I wish to be with you as well." The only future plans they had involved being together. It wasn't perfect, but it was enough for now. "Do you want to explore space?"

"Once we're sure there's not going to be a war or it's over yes I would. Not sure how I do that and build engines, but I'd like to do both. That's why I accepted my commission on Enterprise. It was supposed to be an exploration mission with my friend and I would get to a warp 5 engineer. It just didn't work out that way."

She could feel his pain beginning to surface as she moved to encircle him with her arms. "Breathe through the pain and find that feeling you had earlier. Breathe. Do not try to stop the pain just try to concentrate on that feeling until you are calm enough to place your pain in a separate place in your mind until we can meditate."

Trip concentrated on his breathing first. Once he felt himself calming he searched for that memory. The feelings washed over his mind and body calming him. The pain took on substance. He could almost see it. He turned his attention to moving it to the space he had reserved to hold such emotions until he could deal with them privately. It took several attempts, but he finally succeeded. When he opened his eyes he felt a dull ache, but it was nothing he couldn't handle. He also felt exhausted.

"With practice this will become automatic. Vulcans learn to do this after several years, but we must control all our emotions. You only need to control the intense negative ones."

"Is this how I keep my feelings for you hidden from the crew?"

"You just learn to internalize those emotions and not allow them to be reflected in your expression. You can do this with all your feelings like Vulcans do or with practice just the ones you choose."

"You do this all day every day don't you?"

"There are many emotions, mine and those around me, that I must push aside until I can meditate and examine them. I must then suppress them, but you must express them in an appropriate manner."

"So I meditate and let myself feel the pain later?"

"Yes. You experience the emotions as you must in the privacy of your own mind or room free of the concern of being observed by others or you find an acceptable way to release them when appropriate. Perhaps through physical exercise or activity."

"So I need to exercise every day along with meditation." He exercised three or four times a week, but he could get hit the gym every morning for a while if he had to.

"We could start a new routine when we return to the ship. If you wouldn't mind some company."

"You want to exercise with me?"

"If that is acceptable."

"I think I could find a way to be okay with that."

"We will have a week before we are back on active duty once we return. We can work out the details then."

"I actually feel better. Calmer somehow. I think I'm going to go swim for a while. Would you like to join me?" Trip really wished he had a boat or at least something to float on.

"I think I'll see if I can meditate on my own." T'Pol still found it difficult to meditate without Trip. She sat quietly allowing her mind to float along with her bondmate. She couldn't see him, but knew he must be floating on his back while observing the clouds. She found it strange that he kept trying to make recognizable pictures out of those formations. Humans needed to try to fit the world around them into something familiar instead of trying to see the uniqueness inherent in each new experience.

---

Malcolm was also bored. He had nothing in common with either Dr. Phlox or the Captain. The thought of all those strange specimens the doctor had in sickbay or discussing some disease or germ held no interest for the tactical officer. The Captain talked about water polo, his dog, other vacations he'd gone on (there weren't many) and work. The Lieutenant wanted to go somewhere and quietly read the book he'd brought along. It was a war story he gotten for Christmas two years ago. Fictional but fascinating none the less. In order to achieve his goal he would have to leave the two men alone and that wasn't possible if he wanted to prevent the captain from slipping off to find Trip and T'Pol. That Malcolm knew him well enough to know he would want to go check on them came as a surprise to the captain when Malcolm caught him. He had tried to say he was just checking to be sure their biosigns were still out there, and Malcolm hadn't pressed him even though he noted that Archer had been heading straight for them. He couldn't help Trip except to give he and T'Pol the time they needed alone to do whatever they needed to do to grieve.

Malcolm arrived at a solution to his dilemma. He contacted Travis on board Enterprise and gave him a list of items to transport down to him. Once the parts and tools arrived he set about reworking the design of the torpedo assembly before him. He knew this would be much easier with either of the Commanders input, but for now he had something to do while keeping an eye on the captain. It took the rest of the day before the doctor had himself transported back to sickbay. By nightfall Captain Archer decided to return to the ship as well. Malcolm contacted Travis and asked that he let him know if anyone transported back to the planet, especially Captain Archer. Malcolm contacted Trip and informed him that he and a two man security team were the only ones left on the planet. When Trip invited him to move his camp to join them Malcolm declined the offer. He thought they needed to be alone and he also thought the captain would be monitoring them on sensors and would not be happy if Malcolm were to move. He did agree to join them the next day for a couple of hours.

When Malcolm got close to Trip and T'Pol's camp he could hear a very familiar sound. The pair were bickering back and forth playfully. Malcolm stood back and listened to them.

"How can you say that?"

"You can't reroute the circuitry and run that much current through it and expect it not to burn out."

"I already tested it T'Pol, but I'll complete any testing you want beforehand."

"Why are you so stubborn when it comes to the engines?"

"How can you say I'm a gifted engineer one minute and then turn around and say I'm clueless the next?"

"One statement has nothing to do with the other."

"Really. Do I know what I'm doing or don't I?"

"Sometimes you do and sometimes you don't. In this instance you don't?"

"This is getting us nowhere. We'll have to wait until we get back to work to settle this. What do I get if I'm right?" The smirk on his face said he was confident he was right.

"The satisfaction of being right?"

"You're no fun. And don't you dare say Vulcans don't have fun."

"We don't."

"I know better, so it's not going to work."

"So are you trying to disagree with everything I say today?"

"I didn't know I had been doing that. I'll stop."

"Good then sit down and let me take care of your ankle." Damn she was good. "That's sneaky T'Pol."

"You just agreed to stop be disagreeable."

"I said I wouldn't disagree about what you said. Tending to my foot doesn't involve talking."

"Sit down or I'll have the doctor transport down and take care of it."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Maybe you don't know me as well as you think you do, Commander?"

Malcolm watched as the worlds worst patient sat down quietly and let T'Pol clean and re-wrap his ankle without complaint. Once she finished Malcolm yelled letting Trip turn off the perimeter alarms before he proceeded.

T'Pol offered to make lunch while the two friends went off to talk.

"What I'm about to confide in you is something I need your word you will never discuss with another living soul. I need to talk to my friend Mal, not the tactical officer of Enterprise."

Trip was deadly serious. Without needing to reconsider his decision Malcolm assured Trip. "I give you my word as your friend that whatever you say stays between us."

"Well, you can talk to T'Pol about anything concerning me or her, but no one else." Trip took several cleansing breaths and started. "I'm sure you've figured out that T'Pol and I are more than friends. We had just figured out that there was something there for sure when we found out about Elizabeth." Pain registered on his face as he searched for the right words. "As a Vulcan T'Pol is telepathic;as well as; empathic. When Vulcans take a mate they bond with them telepathically. She and I are bonded that way forever." Trip waited for some reaction.

"What exactly does that mean?" Several thoughts ran through Malcolm mind at once and none of them made sense.

"It means I can talk to her most anywhere or anytime in my head. If she wants me to I can see what she sees, feel what she feels, and she can do the same with me."

The first thing Malcolm thought was how creepy it would be to have someone inside your head. "She just got inside your head? Why aren't you pissed?"

"It's fine with me. She didn't do it on purpose. It just happened because of how we feel about each other and we didn't know about it for the longest time, but now I wouldn't want it any other way. She's my best friend. She's saved my life more times than I can count and in more ways than I could even explain. I don't ever want to be without her again."

So this was serious. Much more serious than Malcolm thought possible. "Is that what T'Pol wants too?"

"Yes, it is. He is my mate and will be forever." T'Pol answered as she laid down the blanket to join them.

"Sorry, I didn't warn you she was coming. I forget sometimes that I'm the only one who can sense her."

"So we need to figure out how to keep this bond from causing problems for Enterprise and the crew?"

"If one of us gets injured the bond will let us know. We will be compelled to protect and care for the other. If that happens I'm not sure how T'Pol would react and I know enough about myself to know my reaction won't be good. I haven't reacted well in the past to her being injured or captured without this bond. I just need you to try to keep us as level headed as you can. There are things Vulcans do not discuss with non-Vulcans and this is one of them." The expression on his face softened and the look in his eyes said it all when he continued. "You have no idea what a concession T'Pol made to let me tell you about this. She only did it because she trusts me and I trust you."

Trip couldn't tell his family. What would he say? I'm in love with a Vulcan who I'm mentally connected to for the rest of my life, but you can't tell anyone. He found he had no problem keeping these secrets with T'Pol. Couples knew many things about each other and their relationship that were never shared with others. That's part of what made these relationships special. Few Humans really knew about Vulcan bonding at all and if they did it was in very general terms. Making his family keep secrets for him wasn't something he was prepared to do.

"So no matter what happens I'm the only one who can know about this?" Malcolm understood why they couldn't tell anyone. Their careers with Starfleet would be over. The security risks alone would be enough to get them thrown out. Not to mention they were breaking several less serious rules.

"I promise we will resign if it becomes an issue of safety for the ship and crew. If that happens you need to let us know." They both knew that if their bond were discovered it would create dangers for those aboard Enterprise.

"I need to let this sink in before I can decide what special precautions we need to take. I need to protect both you and the rest of the crew."

On his way back to his own camp Malcolm thought about the fact that he felt no qualms about keeping Trip and T'Pol's secret. The Malcolm who had first boarded Enterprise would have objected strenuously and he knew it. Malcolm Reed didn't know if this change was a sign of growth as a human being or even if it was something he should be proud of. He only knew that for him it was the right thing to do and the only choice he could make. Even knowing it meant he had to keep something from his Captain once again.

Trip slept through the whole night again. He woke early and took a long run down the beach just as the sun peaked up over the horizon. T'Pol showed him how to process his emotions while meditating to lessen the reaction his system had to releasing them. He knew this wasn't a quick fix. He would need to put effort into the practice required to keep control. She had found a way that he could keep reactions from being visible on his face. The fact that he'd become so adept at hiding his true feelings actually helped. His eyes were very expressive, but if he worked at it only those who were very observant would be able to get a picture of his internal feelings if he choose to conceal them. It wasn't the way Vulcans did it because he didn't need to suppress anything just keep them to himself.

On their last morning Trip woke to find T'Pol had wrapped herself around him during the night. He laid there not moving for fear he'd wake her. They were both much better rested with several nights of uninterrupted sleep. T'Pol woke. After laying there for some time she moved to face him. Her lips touched his lightly at first. The kiss deepened into a passionate one. Trip could feel her desire. He tried to let the feelings wash over him. He broke free of her kiss and dropped down flat on his back. After he caught his breath he pushed himself up on his elbow to face her.

"I'm sorry T'Pol. I want you I really do, but not like this. When we make love I want it to be because we love each other not because we are emotionally crippled. I want to be all there and able to give you my full and undivided attention." Trip tried to determine if she understood.

"Wouldn't you feel better if we were to have sex." Everything she had heard or read about human sexuality said this was true.

"Yes, I would. If we do this now it would be just having sex. We did that once and it didn't work out so well. I hope we're smart enough to learn from our past mistakes. If you really want this I won't say no, but I really would like to wait."

"I will not ask you to do something you do not wish to do." T'Pol was confused.

Trip took her in his arms. "It's not that I don't want to make love to you. I would consider this as our first time and it should be about more than putting a band aid on how much we hurt. Let's deal with the hurt first then we can express our love that way as often as you like. Trust me it will be so much better. I will be so much better." If they had made love before this he wouldn't have had a problem with it now. That night they had been together months earlier had been okay as far as the sex went, but it had been because of jealousy, whether she admitted it or not, not love. He wanted to make sure this time it was only about love.

T'Pol didn't understand. She did trust him so if he said he needed time then she would give him time. "If that is what you want then I will wait until you are ready."

"Thank you." T'Pol hugged him back. Trip felt her sending him her love as he reciprocated. He knew she didn't totally understand, but they had taken a step toward talking to each other without the meaning getting lost. They had started off attracted to each other. Becoming friends over these last four years had built trust and understanding between them. Now they had to go back to Enterprise to their life.


	2. Chapter 2

Healing to Your Life – Chapter 2

The shuttle went up, then dropped, only to go back up again. Three waves of this hit in quick succession sending T'Pol forward out of her seat forcing Trip to grab her upper arm to keep her from hitting the floor while trying to keep a tight grip on the back of his own seat. "Travis?" Trip yelled to the pilot.

"Sorry sir, we hit a few air pockets. I'll try to go around if I see anymore." Trip helped T'Pol strap herself in before moving to the front of the pod taking the seat next to the Ensign. He took readings from all the sensors seeing no signs of disturbances. Quietly he admonished Travis letting his irritation come through. "I like a roller coaster ride, but you could have suggested we strap in for safety. In the future we'd appreciate a heads up before becoming involved in your pranks."

Travis knew that Malcolm and Trip were friends so he tried to keep him out of his pranks. "Like I said sir, we hit a rough patch, but I'll be more careful in the future."

Malcolm looked positively miserable. He'd put his belt on when he boarded the shuttlepod and it was a good thing because it was the only thing holding him in his seat. He was bent so far forward Trip was sure the tension of the strap across his stomach must be cutting off his circulation.

Captain Archer watched as his senior officers stepped out of the shuttlepod. T'Pol came out first carrying several items. Trip followed laughing back over his shoulder chastising Malcolm about 'not dishing it out if he couldn't take it and not expecting any sympathy from him.'

The two senior officers seemed lighter somehow than when he'd last seen them. His tactical officer's face was deathly white. He came out slightly bent over then dropped his head until it was almost between his knees. Archer thought he might be sick, but before that became a reality the Lieutenant stood up and took off at a dead run down the corridor.

"Is he alright?" the Captain asked.

"The doc will have him fixed up in no time. Just a bit of motion sickness." Trip knew Malcolm always carried hypos Dr. Phlox prepared to prevent these episodes. Travis must have done something to his med kit.

When Tucker bent down to pick up his own gear Archer saw his sandal clad foot. There was a large bandage over a laceration and the rest of the visible area had varying coloration from yellow to purple. "You should go see Phlox about that foot." He suggested as he pointed to Trip's injury.

A visit to sickbay was definitely not in his plans anytime soon. Phlox knew how Trip felt about T'Pol from before he transferred to Columbia. He still wanted to know why only Trip and T'Pol were not affected by the Orion's pheromones. Without thinking he had as much as admitted they had been intimate when Elizabeth's existence became known by suggesting she could have gotten pregnant and not told him. The doctor didn't miss much and he sure wouldn't misunderstand that comment. He and T'Pol were spending so much time together that no one had to tell him they were together.

Even if he disregarded this and all his feelings about doctors there was still the problem of how much more could he learn if he scanned them. T'Pol didn't know, but her research suggested that his brain scans might be significantly different now that they were bonded. Of all his patients Trip was the one who he would notice such changes in. He had detailed scans of his brain because of the transplant from Sim.

"It's been a while since I let something heal the old fashioned way, but it wasn't that bad and T'Pol has been taking care of it for me. Doc couldn't do anything to make it any better." Trip picked up the rest of the gear and moved to the doorway.

Archer knew not to push him. He'd already tried that and Trip pushed back. "If you say so. You're both off duty for one more week. I mean it Trip. No visits to Engineering for any reason."

"I'll stay away if you'll look at my specs for rerouting power from the main in 15A. It's the only way to keep it from shorting out. I want to get started on it as soon as I'm back to work." Whenever the power requirements reached a certain level it caused an overload and the whole section went down putting out power to crew quarters and the corridors on B and C deck.

"T'Pol didn't you have problems with the specs he gave you?" She told Archer that she was sure the fix wouldn't work the way Trip believed it would.

"I still do, but the Commander has given me his word that he will conduct all the test I require before he implements any changes." She had gotten him to agree to further testing by agreeing to their bet on the outcome of Trip's latest project.

"Okay, I'll take a look and let you know." Archer would like to know how T'Pol had gotten him to run more tests. He always ran several simulations before submitting his plans and had always refused to do more tests unless ordered too.

"Thanks Captain."

"Are you two free for dinner Wednesday night or would you rather wait another week?" Jon assumed Trip had told her about their discussion.

Trip and T'Pol hadn't discussed his proposal to Jon about dinner, so when T'Pol inquired as to what time he was surprised.

"18:00 as always."

"Sounds good to me." Trip said as he moved farther down the corridor with T'Pol not far behind.

Captain Archer could see that they were both in much better shape. He felt good about making them leave the ship even though the whole experience hadn't gone the way he had hoped.

----

Malcolm didn't show up for dinner. They had agreed to meet in the mess hall before they left the planet. After several attempts to contact him on the comm Trip had the computer locate him. When Trip arrived on D deck he heard his crew working before he saw them. They were removing the door with torches.

Rostov explained to his boss that somehow the locking mechanism had been tampered with so the door could not be opened. Rostov went on to inform the Commander that he, Hess, and this team had also been trying to solve another problem on the bridge. It seemed that while he was on the planet someone had managed to do something to the navigation station. When Travis took his seat at the station an odor like vomit emanated from somewhere. They had been unable to determine where the odor emanated from or what, besides the Ensign's presence, triggered it. Trip knew Malcolm must be using something to scan biosigns to determine when Travis was on duty, but he had no idea where the smell could be coming from. When the door came off a loud screeching sound could be heard from the comm unit. It was unclear if the unit was in pieces because it had been making that noise or if it was making the noise because it was in pieces.

Malcolm stormed out of his quarters. "Wait till I get my hands on him. I had to beat on my door for an hour before someone heard me and called engineering to get me out me. And stop that bloody noise."

"You would only have been there a little longer. I came to find out why you didn't show for dinner." Trip watched as his friend tried to relax himself. "Do the breathing T'Pol taught you. It will help." After he calmed down some Trip tried to talk to him. "Mal, this thing with you and Travis is getting out of hand. According to Rostov this is the second time my guys have had to deal with one of your practical jokes."

"What are you talking about?" Malcolm was clearly frustrated.

"Evidently the navigation station has been rigged to smell whenever Travis is there. Engineering hasn't been able to fix it after tearing the unit apart. We have enough problems keeping this ship together and running smoothly without you two creating problems and more work?"

Dinner was silent. Trip and T'Pol ate their meal without interrupting Malcolm's attack on his plate while fuming to himself. Trip wanted to laugh at how much Travis had gotten under his skin, but knew better. He could see just how angry Mal was and knew that he was planning a way to retaliate. It would be big and Trip wanted no part of it. He knew what happened when Malcolm lost his temper. In one way or another things blew up. He just hoped there would be no further damage to _Enterprise_'s systems. He found it ironic that the two people he considered his very best friends were the two he would never want angry at him because they were extremely dangerous when they were not in control.

The second day back Captain Archer called a staff meeting in his ready room. requesting that Trip and T'Pol attend even though they were off duty. They both noticed immediately that there were staff present that were not usually included in such meetings.

No one seemed to know why the captain had called them together. Once he entered the room his senior staff knew this was not going to be a pleasant experience. They weren't sure if he was in I am Captain and must maintain discipline mode or truly upset, but it didn't really matter the result was the same.

"It has come to my attention that members of this crew have been participating in an ill-advised series of practical jokes. There's a door hidden in Commander Tucker's office that has some rather interesting dents in it. I'm told it was on our tactical officer's quarters until yesterday. No one seems to want to tell me what happened to it. There's also this strange odor on the bridge coming from the navigation station. When I spoke to the engineering crew about that they informed me they had been trying to track down the strange odor for over a week, but the phenomenon only occurs when Ensign Mayweather is on duty."

The captain took several deep breaths, looking around the room before he continued. He wanted to see those who were guilty squirm. "While I understand the need to blow off a little steam it is not acceptable for anyone on this crew to cause damage to this ship. The odor on MY bridge will disappear as mysteriously as it appeared and any other damage will be corrected by day's end." His voice went up a notch in volume. "If anything like this happens again I will make it my mission to find out who knew anything about what happened and have them all court-martialed for every offense I can possibly think of. Is that clear?" Archer had considered questioning each of them but discovered that it would take a considerable amount of time. The crew was being especially quiet about this whole affair so he really didn't know who if anyone had been aiding Reed and Mayweather. All he knew for sure was that engineering had covered for them after the fact. He simply had to make it clear that such behavior would not be tolerated.

"Yes, sir," came the automatic reply from every person in the room.

"Dismissed."

As the crew left the Captain asked Reed, Mayweather, Tucker, and T'Pol to stay. "Lieutenant Reed it seems someone tampered with our computer system and your security protocols. You and Ensign Mayweather are to correct the problem. Do nothing else until it is corrected. Understood?"

The Lieutenant understood perfectly. "Yes, sir." Travis added his own "Yes, sir," his eyes seeking to examine his shoes.

"Once that is done you are both to conduct Level A diagnostics to navigation then to tactical without the assistance of any other crew members. Keep me informed of your progress. You're both dismissed." The captain ordered them to work together everyday. Level A diagnostics included checking every detail of their systems. With just two of them it would take a week or more in navigation and then the same in tactical.

Without waiting for a response the captain turned his attention to Trip and T'Pol. "I know neither of you had anything to do with this, but you both needed to be aware of what has been going on. Trip your engineers knew what those two were up to."

"Rostov told me about it when Malcolm got locked in his quarters. From what he said they only tried to clean up their mess. They didn't help them before that." He wasn't totally sure of that, but it would be addressed as soon as he returned to duty.

"Were you going to inform me?" Regardless of his friendship with Malcolm Trip needed to know that as captain he expected to be informed if the ship was involved.

The answer was no, but Trip needed to deliver that news with some finesse. "I wanted to try to reason with them before involving you. They were friends playing innocent practical jokes when this started. I don't know when or why that changed."

"T'Pol, I take it you agreed with him?" She must have or she would have brought it to his attention. Duty came first and her duty was to _Enterprise_. Or it always had been before.

"The Commander did not discuss this with me, so I could not agree or disagree." She hadn't lied to the Captain. Trip hadn't told her about what Rostov said, but she would have let Trip handle it before going to the Captain if he had told her. He had a way of working with people and if he thought he could get them to listen she would have let him try.

"In the future I expect you both to keep me apprised of anything that causes damage to this ship." Archer was relieved. His first officer still put the ship first.

"I will, sir." Trip told him.

T'Pol nodded her head in agreement.

"I have something else to show you. I thought about waiting, but you have a right to know what's going on." He handed Trip a padd.

Trip began to read the report from Starfleet about Terra Prime and another group on Earth that had been protesting around Starfleet Headquarters and various other government buildings. There were also reports of attacks on non-humans on Earth. Several members of Terra Prime that had been with Paxton were currently being tried for a variety of crimes. The doctor and the guards that had helped create Elizabeth were amongst them. Two of the defendants had been acquitted of all charges due to a lack of evidence even though they had been captured on Orpheus with Paxton. As he read the report Jon could see his anger building. Just when he was sure Trip would let loose he laid the padd down, turned, and walked to the window. He stood there with his back to them. Jon could see the effort he was making to control his breathing.

T'Pol picked up the padd and began reading it. When Trip returned to his previous spot next to her she handed the padd to him. "You need to read the whole report." She told him as he took it back showing no signs of being angry.

"I know." Trip knew he needed to do this. He needed to read it. He needed practice keeping his emotions in check until they were alone.

Trip finished reading the report before handing it to Jon. "Look, I know you're trying to help, but I really don't want to read the day to day reports. All I want to know is that there's no more of our DNA out there anywhere, that Paxton is going to rot locked up somewhere, and if there's anymore traitors on _Enterprise_. Can Starfleet Intelligence do that?" Who had given Paxton their DNA in the first place was still in question. Paxton implied some on board _Enterprise_ sympathized with his cause. Worrying about the rest of it made it impossible for Trip to let it go. It would be so easy to let it swallow him up, but he wasn't going to let it happen again.

"I'm sure Admiral Gardner can get them to keep you updated on those issues if that's what you want."

"That's what I want." Without saying another word Trip left.

"Is he going to be okay, T'Pol?"

"Yes, captain." T'Pol knew he was headed to her quarters to meditate and be alone.

"I'm worried. He tries to bury his emotions and then they explode."

"He will express his emotions in an appropriate manner. Is there anything else?" She would not say anymore. This was Trip's personal business. It was his place to discuss any details with the Captain.

"No. I'll see you later." As she left Jon thought about the relationship between his two most senior officers. He suspected they were more than friends. If they were and Starfleet or the Vulcans found out it would only cause problems for him and them. The crew had been speculating for months, but the more involved the two seemed to get the quieter the gossip got. Or maybe the more tragedy the two suffered the more protective the crew got. As captain he would never be privy to that type of information unless he actively sought it out. He never would. His position did not require he act on speculation.

----

T'Pol remained wrapped in Trip's arms after a long session of meditation to calm them both after reading the report on Terra Prime.

"Darlin, how are we going to be together without letting anyone know? I've been practically living here and I really want to continue, but if the crew starts talking we're done." He hadn't been able to sleep when he was alone, in weeks, and he really didn't want to try.

"I hear the crew whispering, but not as much anymore. They believed we were a couple even before we did. If we're discreet I believe the crew will respect our privacy. The Captain is who we must be concerned about. You've known him longer than I have. Will he tell Starfleet if he were to discover our relationship?"

"I'd like to think he wouldn't just tell them unless there was a reason too. I really don't know. We just can't give him any reason to ask. I really need to talk to Malcolm. He can help with all of this, but he's going to be busy for a while. I have a feeling Jon isn't done with him and Travis."

"Why didn't Captain Archer pursue that matter further?"

"I don't know. Maybe he figured this way he could stop them before he had to put them both in the brig and risk Starfleet making him bring them up on charges." Trip had been saying that a lot lately when Jon was involved. There was a time when he would have known exactly what Jon would do and why. Asking why now might sway him to look into it further, so Trip wouldn't ask.

----

Dinner with the Captain started with all three being tense. Looking at them now it was hard to believe they had eaten dinner together most every night for two years. When their meals were brought in they all felt relief that they had something to do.

Jon finally broke the silence. "I heard you two had quite a session the other night in the rec room. Word has it that some of the crew thought one of you might get hurt."

"Yeah, it might have seemed like that I guess. T'Pol let me vent a little of my anger. We were both in protective gear, so no one would get hurt."

"Is that the most effective way to deal with your anger?" Working yourself up into a highly emotional state seemed dangerous to Archer. Trip's temper tantrums were preferable to him physically injuring someone.

"We tried several methods and this is what works. My reflexes and training make it possible for me to work with Commander Tucker in this way. I am in no danger and even find it beneficial for keeping my skills sharp. He will not employ such a method with anyone else." T'Pol tried to ease the captain's concern. They had tried the treadmill, the punching bag, and sparring before T'Pol suggested the staffs. They suited up and she went on the defensive while Trip attacked with all the force of his anger until he had nothing left. By the time he fell to the floor unable to catch his breath his anger had subsided. It was as he recovered that they became aware of the room full of crew watching them. Most made comments about how much he had improved in his training. They had no way of knowing that his partner and he were using their bond to sense each others movements.

"I'll have to trust you know what you're doing. Be careful." He'd let them continue, but he also intended to speak to Phlox. If either of them showed up in sickbay with injuries from these workouts he wanted to know immediately. Their conversation moved on to the planet they had just been on and then on to water polo. A subject Jonathan Archer loved to talk about.

-----

Trip woke in the night to find T'Pol sitting in the corner on the bed with her arms holding her legs tucked up under her chin, rocking. A dream woke him. He felt like he had been in a shower and some creature threw him against the wall and began choking him. As he tried to maneuver around behind T'Pol he realized it wasn't his dream it was hers. She was unresponsive and he had to lift her up to move her away from the wall so he had room to wrap himself around her. He pulled the blanket up over her as he held her tightly and rocked.

Trip reached across her body to pull her closer. "T'Pol what's wrong. You're blocking me out and you're scaring me." The terror rolled off her and swept over him.

She just kept rocking. Trip kept talking to her. "Darlin, tell me what's wrong. I can't help if you don't talk to me. That dream was yours. You've been having it for months haven't you?"

Her body stopped moving and a shiver ran through them both. "How do you know that?"

"I've had this dream before. I thought it was mine, but could never figure out what it was about. I've had a lot of dreams about you, but this is the only one where I get attacked. This is the first time I remembered the whole dream. That's why you kept pushing me away. That's you attacking me isn't it?" He'd only ever sensed T'Pol was there, but then came the attack, which woke him up.

"Yes."

"You're afraid you'll lose control and harm me. Why?" Why did she think she'd hurt him like that. She'd been angry at him several times and he'd never felt threatened. "I used to think whatever was wrong was because of the expanse, but we've been out of there long enough that I know that's not it. Then I thought it was this bond, but you were having problems before that. You told me it would take awhile to regain your control and you couldn't do it by yourself, so let me help. And why do I keep getting the feeling this is as good as your control gets?"

She didn't say a thing, but he heard her loud and clear just the same. "Damn, don't you ever try to tell me Vulcans don't feel again." He could feel fear. Fear that he would reject her or find her less desirable. Fear that others would find out what she'd done. She tried to pull away from him.

Trip slid himself around so he could look into her eyes. He took her face into his hands. "You need to listen to me. I don't need to know everything. I've known for a long time now that something happened and you've been afraid to talk to me about it. You never have to tell me anything and I won't ask, but I need to understand what's wrong. Why is this happening now?" The answer to his last question came through as she thought about it. His emotions hadn't been spilling into their bond leaving T'Pol with nothing to occupy her mind. He gained control and she began losing it.

"You are correct in your assessment of my emotional control. I can no longer suppress all my emotions. It may never get any better than it is. There are several reasons for this, but I don't know if I can...." Was it that she didn't trust him? Did she trust his feelings for her?

She decided to just start talking. She told him about Silik and his torture to find information about the Captain. Then she told him about Tolaris, the mind meld, Pa'nar Syndrome, and T'Pau's meld to repair the damage. He already knew that Rajiin had done something to her. She told him how she had broken down her controls and accessed parts of her memory. What exactly she had wanted T'Pol never knew. The Reptilians had sent her aboard _Enterprise_ to use her abilities to gather information about Humans so they could complete their biological weapon. No one knew why she had attacked T'Pol. It made no sense. What could a Vulcan tell her about human biology?

When she got to the part that involved the addiction she stopped. This would be difficult to explain. She couldn't form the words to tell him.

Trip felt her body shaking. He could feel her teeth clenched so tight his jaw began to hurt. "You gotta help me here T'Pol." His arms were holding her as tightly as possible. "Whatever you need to do to suppress it, do it. I don't want to know."

He just wanted T'Pol to stop letting it tear her apart. Whatever it was it had to have happened in the expanse. That place had cost them all too much and he wasn't willing to let it cost them anymore. He couldn't lose her now.

Desperate he pleaded with her. "Tell me how to help you. I'll do whatever you need me to do, just tell me." Tears were running down his face. Pain seared through his chest. The fear was mixed with the pain of loss. He felt her tears. Finding their children only to lose them before they had time to even appreciate their existence. There was so much pain Trip couldn't begin to understand how she kept from screaming. He closed his eyes and put everything he had into taking the pain he felt and pushing it behind the door he had created. He'd deal with it later. Once he had accomplished the task he turned all his energy to aiding T'Pol in putting her emotions behind her Vulcan version of the door. The effort began to take its toll, but he refused to give up. He pushed himself until he felt T'Pol's fear recede. The pain remained, but it became manageable enough that meditation would suffice to handle it.

"Is that all of it? Is there's anything else that you fear like that?"

"There is no more." T'Pol began to relax. Her body fell back into Trip.

"No more nightmares?"

"No more." Her body relaxed. She was emotionally drained. "Thank you."

He could feel how tired she was. "You never have to thank me for doing for you what you've been doing for me since Lizzie died? Besides, I love you. Taking care of you and protecting you are part of what that means."

Neither of them spoke for the longest time. Trip laid his head on her shoulder while he ran through what she had just shared with him. So much made sense to him now. He had spent months trying to bury his feelings after Lizzie died and deny his feelings for T'Pol. She had spent months trying to deal with blow after blow to her control and deny her feelings for him. He was afraid of being hurt and she was afraid of hurting him. They made a hell of a team when they weren't working against each other.

"Remember I told you that Vulcans had to suppress their emotions or they would overwhelm us?" T'Pol needed him to understand what her difficulties were.

"Yes. I was standing there crying and you actually said I was to be envied. I don't think I'll ever forget that."

"What happened to the crew on the Seleya is what all Vulcans fear. They had no control much like our ancestors. I cannot allow myself to lose control. To become like them. The damage to my neural pathways has made it impossible for me to effectively use the techniques I have always used. I must learn new ways to deal with these emotions. You are learning to control your emotions more like a Vulcan and I must learn to control mine more like a human."

"So you want to learn how I deal with these emotions. I haven't been very successful at dealing with them. How is that going to help you?"

"Vulcans need to suppress their emotions. Humans don't need to, but you try to anyway. It causes you harm, but it won't harm me. I need you to teach me how you 'bury' these emotions." That was the term Captain Archer used when referring to Trip's handling of his emotions. She knew he did this, but she also knew that at times what others perceived as him burying his emotions was him keeping them to himself. He had not shared his strongest emotions with anyone until T'Pol. She had not fully understood this until recently. She thought he was that open book everyone said he was. But he showed the world exactly what he wanted them to see without even thinking about it. All she had been teaching him was how to use the control he already possessed with his strongest negative emotions in extreme conditions. Keeping his emotions off his face wouldn't be difficult either. He had kept his body from betraying his feelings for her in the most intimate of circumstances for months. If he had the control to keep her from seeing it, he could keep them hidden from the crew. She just had to go through the motions of teaching him and let his natural ability take over.

Trip tried thinking about his emotions. Seeing them as something tangible in his mind. He had taken all the anger and all the other feelings he hadn't been able to deal with when the Xindi attacked and placed them behind a door in his mind. "I give my emotions physical form in my head and put them in a place in my mind behind a door. It just happens, so I don't know if I can tell you how to do it. The problem is I keep putting them behind that door until the room gets so full or the emotions get so strong that the door won't stay shut anymore."

T'Pol used his imagery to explain her dilemma. "I must get my emotions behind that door. Once they are there suppressing them is not a problem. My problem is getting them there without your assistance." She couldn't rely on him for her control. There was too great a risk that he wouldn't be available or able to help every time she needed assistance. If that happened she could hurt those around her and she could never allow that.

Trip became apprehensive. Would that mean when she learned new techniques she would suppress all her emotions? Would things be the same between them?

Suddenly he felt her guiding him to a place in her mind. "Do you feel that?"

He could feel all the feelings that centered around him. Fear, anxiety, concern, protectiveness, need, desire, and love were the strongest. "I feel it."

"That is the place I keep you. I have learned from you how to keep my feelings for you separated in my mind, protected from everything else. You are a part of me now. I must learn to control these feelings so I am not overwhelmed, but I will never suppress them again. I was never successful at suppressing them even when I tried. I don't think I ever would have been able to even if I had not lost some of my control." She knew this was true. Her interactions with him had always been different than with any other member of the crew. When the doctor suggested neuro-pressure with Trip she still had her control. She may have told herself then that she agreed to it to help a fellow officer cope, but that wasn't the truth. She wanted to spend time with him. As much as she had tried to deny her feelings and pretend they didn't exist they would not go away.

Trip felt a weight lift from them both. "For the first time I know we're going to make this work, darlin." He turned her head and kissed her.

-----

The mess hall would be open soon. After taking a shower they went to have breakfast. Malcolm was sitting alone in the corner. Trip went to join him while T'Pol got his coffee and her tea.

"Morning, Mal."

"Is it morning?"

"Sounds like you're having a rough day, already."

"I've had several and expect to have several more. Travis and I finally fixed the security protocols he managed to bypass. We're starting the diagnostics in navigation in an hour."

"What did you do to the navigation station? I know you must have used a power cell to power one of the biosign sensors in the chair. How did you get the smell to work?"

"The smell came from the droppings of one of Phlox's pets. I made several new dials for the station that held them inside. When the sensors detected Travis they opened the containers and allowed the odor to be released. When he left they closed again. I haven't removed them, yet. I've only had time to disconnect the power to the sensor." Captain Archer made it clear that the smell had better be gone so he'd done the quickest thing he could without getting caught red-handed. Being suspected of the prank was much different than it being a proven fact.

That explained why his teams couldn't locate the odor. "You're more creative than I gave you credit for. How are things working out with Travis?" Trip hoped they would patch up their friendship, but at least they needed to call a truce.

"We're working it out. This whole thing got so out of hand and I don't really know why."

"I wish I'd been paying more attention. Maybe I could have stopped you."

Exasperation shown on Malcolm's face and in his voice. "You were barely taking care of yourself. You're my friend not my bloody keeper." Why did he always think he had to take care of everybody else at the expense of himself.

"Well, I'm better now, so if you need anything let me know."

Malcolm needed to talk about anything else. "I hear you are deadly with a staff."

"Yeah, a new anger management technique T'Pol and I are working on."

He didn't usually approve of mixing weapons and anger, but in this instance it seemed to be the outlet Trip needed. "Whatever works." Malcolm had to be on the bridge in a few minutes. "I have to go. By the way I have an idea for modifying the security sweeps. I'll send them to T'Pol's quarters. Could you both take a look and see what you think?"

"Sure. Major changes?"

"Yeah. It makes them more efficient but also eliminates the need to create a record of the location of each crew member and log it."

"Eliminating the need for all that data collection would be more effective." Malcolm had a way to maintain security without leaving a record of the crew's private lives for Starfleet. "Thanks Mal."

"I told you I'd figure out what we needed to do. If I weren't buried with these diagnostics I wouldn't have needed you to look it over. I assume you're going to continue residing in your current location?"

"If you mean T'Pol's, then yes."

"Then we need to do something about the comm system. Can't have the Captain tracking you down there whenever he needs to contact you."

"I have a way around that I think, but I need to find a power source for a couple of relays." Trip had been floating the problem around in his head. He needed to be back in Engineering to find the solution.

"I'll leave that to you then. Just let me know what you've done." Malcolm wanted to know how everything he was responsible for worked, if possible.

-----

T'Pol had just finished her shower, turning the water off, as Trip entered her room. When she stepped out of the stall he stood there holding a towel, which he promptly wrapped around her before drying her from head to toe. Once she was dry he lifted her off her feet carrying her into the other room and laying her gently down across the bed. As he took in every inch of her naked flesh desire traveled in both directions through the bond. Trip reached down and began slowly moving his hands up and down her body. He laid down next to her and continued his deliberate exploration to find her most sensitive areas. As he proceeded he became aware of her thoughts. She was fascinated that he would take the time to discover how best to please her. He also became aware that this was also an exploration for her of her own bodies responses. Their night together had been her first. He wished he'd known that at the time. He would have taken more time.

Trip moved away slightly and began removing his own clothing. "I hope you didn't have any plans this evening because I seem to remember a promise to give you my undivided attention and make our first time special. I have every intention of fulfilling that promise and it may take me all night."

"This is not our first time."

"Let's table this discussion until morning. By then you'll know the difference between then and now."

T'Pol leaned in and kissed him. "I assume you are prepared to demonstrate the difference."

His hands were moving as his lips sought out hers. "As many times as you like."

Trip woke to the smell of coffee. He eyes squinted trying to avoid the light from the computer screen T'Pol was sitting in front of. She turned as she sensed him waking. She knew he would wish to remain in bed for some time. They had napped off and on all night between exploring the new found sensations their mutual passion brought to their bond. Trip liked their bond from the first, but he never wanted to be without it now. In one night, after he convinced T'Pol to let go of her control, they had learned to manipulate the sensations and let them build until they could no longer withstand the need for release. He couldn't imagine what they could accomplish over time.

He needed 5-6 hours of sleep or he became cranky. This being Thursday he did not have to go to the gym. He would workout with Malcolm this evening so he would sleep in today. Giving in to the inevitable T'Pol removed her robe, snuggled against his warmth, and listened to his breathing. The slow, easy movement of his chest in and out confirmed he had returned to sleep. As she let herself relax into the comfort of his arms around her, the realization of just how much Trip had become a part of her took root.

After rewriting the end of T'Pol's dream in the shower Trip made a trip to the mess hall. He would have stayed in bed the rest of the day, but his body needed energy to replace what he had burned for the last several hours. He stood at the table selecting meals for himself and T'Pol. As he made his final choice Malcolm snuck up behind him. "You might want to turn up that collar." Malcolm said pointing to the back of Trip's neck.

"What?" Trip tilted his head down and moved his eyes trying to see what Malcolm was pointing to.

"Unless you want to advertise what you and T'Pol have been up to I suggest you turn up your collar. There aren't any reasonable explanations for this bright red area on the back of your neck that I'm aware of. Add to that the amount of food you have there and the scuttlebutt about you two wouldn't be idle speculation anymore."

"Great. We need to be discreet and T'Pol decides to tell the world I belong to her."

"Maybe it was an accident." Although looking at the size of the area she had marked it was doubtful.

It wasn't an accident. T'Pol's reaction to the conversation as Trip allowed it to go through their bond confirmed this. She knew exactly what she had done and hadn't considered the consequences. While he liked the idea of her being possessive toward him, she had no reason to mark her territory. The Orions had made it clear no other woman stood a chance of eliciting any response from him.

"When was the last time a girl accidentally gave you a hickey. I'll see you later." All the way back he could hear T'Pol saying she was sorry and would refrain from marking him in the future. When he got to her room he put down the tray, gathered her up into his arms kissing her. He'd cover the marks if he had to.

"You said you needed energy."

"I seem to have found my second wind." As he deepened his kiss and moved his hands under her shirt.

----

Lt. Hess loaned the chief her racquetball equipment after observing his workout with T'Pol. The fact that he seemed to prefer more aggressive full out physical activity made her suggest he give it a try. Malcolm met him in the cargo bay where several of the crew had built a front wall like an outdoor court. Hess had spent some time explaining the basics of the game earlier. The two friends spent 2 hours smacking the ball around. Having enjoyed the intensity and challenge they both decided they needed to invest more time in learning the game. Trip commented that he'd never seen Hess nursing welts like theirs so either she didn't play much or her reflexes were much quicker when it came to avoiding the hollow piece of rubber.

Malcolm stopped by T'Pol's to drop off some ointment and a waterproof paste that would cover any discolored areas. Phlox had given them to him when he went to see him about the huge welt in the middle of his chest.

When he stepped inside he was surprised to see pictures on the wall. He'd been here once before and there had only been one or two items on the wall. All the pictures, except one could belong to either of them. They included crew and places they had visited since leaving Earth. These weren't pictures T'Pol would bother to keep. They must be Trip's. The one picture that he was sure was T'Pol's was of a Vulcan woman. The resemblance said she was her mother. This room had been decorated with care to reflect both occupants without announcing the fact.

Trip took the medical supplies and laid them on the desk. "T'Pol has a few suggestions for your security sweeps. Something to do with how you incorporate the biosigns of visitors."

T'Pol entered the room. She said 'hello' to Malcolm and sat on the bed next to Trip. Close but not touching.

"Trip says you have some ideas for my security program changes?"

"Yes, I sent them your quarters. I found a way to make the database comparison quicker and less cumbersome. It will aid in justifying the changes by allowing the sweeps to occur in 15 minute intervals."

"If we can sweep the entire ship for unrecognized biosigns every fifteen minutes no one will question the change in protocols." Not to mention Malcolm would be one happy tactical officer. He had simply changed the way the biosigns were confirmed as being valid eliminating the need to locate everyone. T'Pol must have consolidated the information somehow to make the process faster.

"I'll take a look at your changes. We can discuss them once you're both back on duty. Wouldn't want you going against the captain's orders. It wouldn't be a good idea to get on his bad side at the moment."

Trip laughed. "I haven't done any work and I haven't been near engineering either. For the first time in forever I'm having no problem obeying orders."

-----

T'Pol had been at her station all morning resisting the urge to go see Trip. Having been together most of the two weeks had allowed the connection between them to strengthen. His physical presence created a sensation she found she desired. They simply needed to be in the same space. Touching was not necessary, but was not unwelcome when they were alone. Trip had been fighting the same urge. He finally gave in and appeared on the bridge.

"T'Pol, this change you want won't work." Trip informed her as he exited the turbolift.

"What change are you referring to Commander?" T'Pol had been watching the door to the turbolift in anticipation of him coming to see her.

"The one where you redistribute all the power output to all these damn relays."

"There is no need to be crude Commander."

Archer was glad to see his officers back, but did not wish to let their disagreement become antagonistic as they often did.

"Good morning, Commander Tucker."

Trip looked up from the padd in his hands. "Morning, sir." He went back to studying the padd as he continued directly to the science station.

The Captain had second thoughts about their relationship. Maybe they weren't as close as he previously thought. Trip was totally focused on whatever he came to argue with the first officer about. Nothing had changed.

Trip was totally focused, but on not letting on what his purpose for being on the bridge really was. "If you didn't just make changes without explaining them I wouldn't have a need to be crude."

"You are so infuriating. How can you say something that is beyond your understanding will not work."

Hoshi had been watching them intently. Trip became angry, but there was something about his eyes. She saw him shoot a stern look at T'Pol. She had no idea what the look meant, she just knew it had an affect on the Vulcan. Trip had somehow changed the dynamic without saying a word.

Hoshi had not heard the silent plea from Trip. "_Darlin, if I'm not supposed to let my emotions get out of control in front of the crew then you can't make me so angry. I love to argue with you, but I can't do both."_

At first T'Pol seemed perplexed by his statement. He had been practicing controlling his stronger emotions and had done so very well. Then she felt the undercurrent of amusement he felt because they were arguing. He enjoyed it even when she made him mad. That was what he feared he wouldn't be able to hide while trying to hold his own in their battle of words. That and his pure enjoyment of being close to her.

The banter continued, but Hoshi felt as if an invisible line had been established that neither of the Commanders would cross.

"I apologize for insulting your intelligence, but I find it infuriating when you insist I explain details that you are fully aware you will not understand."

"Apology accepted. And I didn't ask for every detail, just some reasoning for why this is a better idea than mine. You never let me get away with not fully explaining my ideas, so why would you think I'd let you get away with it?"

T'Pol considered her response. "I will take a look at the notations I made and endeavor to add the detail you require."

"You don't need to rewrite anything." With irritation in his voice Trip went on. "Just talk me through what the hell all this means, please."

She glared at him for the use of profanity. "I'll come to engineering when I find the time."

"Thanks." Trip handed her the padd, winked, turned, and exited the bridge.

Archer shook his head. What just happened? They were arguing as usual, then what? Apologies. Please and thank you. And they each conceded to the others valid points. She politely told him she was smarter than him and he let it go. Civil bickering? He wondered how long that would last.

T'Pol entered engineering, searching the area for him. He was here, but she could not see where. She closed her eyes inquiring through the bond to locate him. He was deeply in thought and had pushed the bond to the back of his mind, but she found him in the jeffries tube.

He felt her presence coming closer the minute she left the bridge. He continued what he was doing waiting for her to seek him out. When the door opened he felt a wave delight wash over her. He continued his tasks. She stood there waiting for him to come out. He tried to ignore her. He could block her out, but when she was this close and let her emotions loose on him it was difficult. She reached out and touched his bare leg where his pants had pulled up above his socks. His resistance melted away.

"Damn woman that's not fair."

"Don't humans have a saying 'all's fair in love and war'?"

"Yes, we do, but I'm not sure this is what they had in mind. Is there some reason you came to see me or did you just feel the need to drive me crazy?" The grin on his face said he was glad to see her, but he stayed where he was for fear he'd forget himself and wrap his arms around her.

"I came to discuss the changes that need more explanation."

"You couldn't wait to see me. Admit it."

"I told you I'd come to engineering when I had time."

"We could have discussed this over lunch in a little over an hour. You couldn't wait that long."

"What would I need to wait for?'

"Being near each other. I've been trying to keep myself busy so I can stay away from the bridge."

"So because you are having difficulty you assume I am also."

"You did say this will get easier right?"

"We should be able to be apart for several hours before the bond will cause us any distress. Once the bond has settled we should be able to be a part for several days without any difficulty." That's how it was with Vulcan mates, but with a human she didn't know.

"You just said we. You're having just as much trouble as I am."

"As I told you I came here to explain my changes."

She was never going to admit it and she had blocked him from sensing her feelings. "Well, I don't need you to explain anymore. You can go back to the bridge. I'll see you at lunch."

He was teasing her. "Not until you explain why you no longer need an explanation. Did you suddenly learn higher math?"

She did higher math for him. He could do it, but it took him hours with a calculator while it only took her minutes to do it in her head. "You were right. My calculation was not precise enough and yours fixed my mistake. As for the rest I scrapped both ideas and came up with a whole new one." He pushed his padd to her with his foot. "That's what I just completed here. We can test it in a controlled setting before I attempt it live."

T'Pol studied his new specs. "There is still an excess of power output here."

"Look at the schematics very carefully. I've made use of that excess power." Trip had a need for power to two relays for another more personal project and after he calmed himself he began reworking his specs with T'Pol's corrections and realized with a few adjustments this was the power he needed."

"There are two extra lines running to an unknown location." T'Pol saw his changes.

"They run to B deck. To the comm units of two members of this crew who have a need to reroute the communications to their quarters."

"How is this rerouting to be accomplished?"

Trip pulled himself out of the tube. Reached into his pocket and produced 2 hand held communicators. "There will be two relays, frequency converters, and signal enhancers installed in the comm units that match the frequency in these personal hand held units. When a signal reaches the unit in their quarters it will also be sent to the hand held communicator. One for each crewman."

"A unique approach to solving the problem that will go unnoticed."

"These have been modified to a separate frequency for each of us. They will work anywhere on the ship, but will only work through the comm unit they are synced with when I'm done." They only had to keep the communicators with them when they were in each others quarters. They were sharing her larger first officers quarters, but this would make it possible for her to stay in his if she wished.

"Is your test ready?"

"Yes, I only need to go flip a couple of switches to send power through here. If this works who wins our bet? I've never made a bet with someone who then continued to help me win the bet."

"It would serve no purpose to let you fail simply to avoid watching movies with you. Solving the power problem was necessary and as it turns out it served to assist with another problem."

"So you helped because you didn't find watching movies to be objectionable enough?"

"If our positions were reversed would you not help me?"

Trip thought for a second. "Probably....no that's not right. I'd help you. I enjoy working with you too much to let a bet stop me."

"So what movies are we watching?"

"I haven't won yet."

"Yes, you have. I still want the test, but we both know this will work."

"I'll have to think about it." He had picked out two 'B' westerns that he would enjoy, but T'Pol wouldn't. He decided to find something she would maybe like instead. "By the way I wouldn't point out those 2 extra lines to the captain when you get him to sign off on this." The lines were clearly marked if anyone came back later and questioned them. No one could accuse them of hiding anything just because they weren't obvious. T'Pol noticed every detail usually, but Trip had had to tell her to study the schematics carefully.

"I have the duty rosters and the changes for Malcolm for him to sign off on also. When I give him several items for approval he rarely ask many questions." T'Pol often used this knowledge to get things done in a timely manner. If the captain had time and was bored he would unnecessarily study every detail of a project to the point of trying T'Pol's patience.

The test had gone well. Starfleet had sent orders for them to visit a planet on the edge of the Alpha quadrant. Malcolm and Travis had been returned to their normal routine after completing the diagnostics to tactical. Trip and T'Pol worked together to complete the power reroute. Malcolm and his crew made the changes to the computer to institute the new security sweeps. There were no longer any records of crew activity for review by anyone.

-----

The Vulcans sent information to upgrade _Enterprise_s database. The enhancements were needed so _Enterprise_ could aid the Prisorians at the request of the Vulcan High Command. While the two governments had not established a diplomatic relationship they were well known to each other. Ambassador Soval was the only Vulcan they tolerated, but he was currently not available to travel and assist Ambassador Te'lam of Prisoria in any dealings with other Vulcans so _Enterprise_ was asked to go. According to Admiral Gardner the major cities had been infected with a virus, which had run its course, but left many inhabitants with lasting side effects. The Vulcans insisted that T'Pol and Dr. Phlox had the experience needed to render the assistance required with the information in the database.

Trip wanted to be part of the away team, but Captain Archer felt differently. He chose to go with T'Pol, the doctor, and a three man security team. Trip and Malcolm were in the docking bay when the away team boarded the shuttlepod to leave. Malcolm stood in front of Trip and T'Pol. They used his body to shield their momentary touch of fingers before T'Pol boarded the shuttlepod.

Malcolm followed close behind Trip as he headed to the bridge. Knowing him as he did the tactical officer was sure his friend would be suffering from separation anxiety. He and T'Pol had spent most all their free time together for weeks now and this was the first extended period of time they would be apart since they had acknowledged their bond and strengthened it. Trip sat on the bridge with his eyes closed. He must be talking to T'Pol Malcolm decided when he saw him turn to Hoshi before she announced they were being hailed from the planet by the Captain. After the conversation ended the Commander went into the ready room and paced. Malcolm followed several minutes later.

"How's it going Trip?"

"Not good Mal. This is harder than I thought it would be. My imagination is in overdrive and I'm stuck on the bridge when all I want to do is go find something to keep my mind occupied in engineering." His steps became faster as the distance before each turn in the opposite direction became shorter.

"It will be okay. She'll be okay."

"How many supposed peaceful missions have we gone on where something didn't happen? Someone gets shot or kidnapped or taken prisoner or drawn into somebody else's fight. Keeping our relationship a secret while I'm having a meltdown is a challenge."

"Is T'Pol having as much trouble with this as you?" As the tactical officer he was also apprehensive whenever an away team left the ship because what Trip said was true. In the first 2 years when their mission was one of exploration there were only a handful of encounters with other species that ended well. In the last year it had been no better mostly because they kept ending up in the middle of other people's fights.

He stopped pacing. "Yes and no. She has her Vulcan control working for her, but that's not always up to snuff, especially if she has to cope with my emotional state." That was the main problem. When she had to compensate for his lack of control. "She's quite capable of taking care of herself and I have to remain calm so she can do her job." He'd keep telling himself that until he really believed it.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Malcolm was aware that the only thing that would help would be having T'Pol on the ship. She'd only been gone a little over an hour. What happens tomorrow when he hasn't slept. For now all Malcolm could do was leave him alone.

"Nothing I can think of, but if I do think of something I'll let you know." Trip's attention turned back to his inner thoughts while he paced back and forth.

---

"_Trip. Why are you still in the Captain's ready room?"_

"_I'm fine here."_

"_You must get some sleep. Go to my quarters. We can meditate together before you go to bed." _She didn't know if he would sleep but she knew there was no possibility if he didn't meditate first. "_You could go to sickbay and request a sedative."_

"_I thought about asking for something for my headache. Doc's with you so I should be able to get something without being examined. I'll stop by there on the way to meditate."_

The Ensign taking care of sickbay gave him some pain medication, which he wasn't sure would help with this kind of headache, but it couldn't hurt. The sedative he took with him to administer later if he needed it.

When he got to T'Pol's quarters he arranged the cushions and lit the candles to prepare for meditation. He wasn't going to bother with the candles because he didn't use the flame to center himself with. He wanted the atmosphere to be calming and the candlelight would accomplish that so he took the time to arrange them.

When he reached the white space she was already there. He stood across from her waiting until she opened her eyes.

"_You are not disturbing me. I have been waiting for you to join me."_

"_I've been enough of a distraction today, so I didn't want to be more of one. You need to meditate just as much as I do. Probably more because of me."_

"_We knew this was going to be a challenge. Your mind and body are not trained to deal with a mate bond like a Vulcans would be. This involves both of us and you must not blame yourself when we have difficulty. It does nothing but create more stress in the bond."_

"_Fine, I'll stop thinking about the fact that I'm human and that it's causing you so much discomfort."_

"_A Vulcan couple spends a year together letting a bond form properly before they spend anytime apart. They also must allow adjustments to be made before they travel any distance from one another or for any length of time." _She'd told him all this before, but he hadn't really listened. "_Come sit with me."_

Trip went around behind her and positioned himself as if they were going to meditate together. As his arms wrapped around her he could feel the tension leave his body. He hadn't known it was possible to be tense in this place. Usually when he got here he felt relief from any overwhelming feelings he'd been carrying around throughout the day. But usually when he got here he sat quietly as his mind cleared and he processed his emotions. Now they were spending the time talking in this space that they usually did while lying together in their bed.

"_So how'd your day go? Did you and the Doc find a way to help?"_

"_The day was busy. Captain Archer spent his time with Ambassador Te'lam. The Ambassador spoke to me very little. Vulcans are to 'closed off' I believe is the term he used and he has little patience with trying to extract information from us."_

Another race who thought Vulcans were difficult. Trip wanted to meet a race who didn't think that. "_Well, I can't say I blame him. How many times have we heard that information is classified or been told we're not ready."_

"_You think we are difficult?" _

"_Vulcans as a race, yes. You personally, sometimes." _

"_Humans are also difficult._

He didn't want to end up arguing. "_So what did you do today?"_

"_The doctor examined several of those who were infected to determine the cause of their hardships and I assisted him. Many of them have physical ailments that would seem to be unrelated to the original virus. Others were not affected at all once their systems were free of the illness."_

"_You're sure this illness is not transmittable to Humans, Vulcans, or Denobulans?"_

"_Dr. Phlox says it is not. They have been trying to determine where it originated from, but have been unable to find any trace of it." _The virus had appeared out of nowhere, spread rapidly through the population, and then it was gone.

Trip knew the doctor and T'Pol both enjoyed solving mysteries of science, but he preferred to stay away from the unexplained. He would have preferred if T'Pol did also, but he knew he couldn't ask her to do that anymore than she would ask him to stop working with warp engines.

"_So are you going to be able to sleep down there?" _She slept when alone but didn't seem to rest as well and it was even worse for her when he didn't sleep.

"_I will try. We should be done here in 24-48 hours. I can meditate if I cannot sleep." _

"_I'd like to stay right here with you, but you need to try and sleep and so do I. Can't be falling asleep on the bridge."_

"_It seems your headache is gone. You will not disturb me, so if you need to speak to me for any reason do so." _T'Pol wanted to do what she could to make this easier for him.

"_Only if you promise to do the same. I'll keep my shields down enough so you can tell what I'm doing."_

"_I will do the same, so you can be sure you will not be distracting me."_ T'Pol let him think this was all for him, but she needed the reassurance the increased contact would provide also. Until Trip got over blaming their bonding issues on his being human she would have to remain strong or at least appear to be or there was no chance he would let himself rely on her when he needed to. She had caused him so much hurt in the past that she would prevent him being hurt again if she could.

Trip woke with a start. His headache had returned with a vengeance. He was laying on the meditation pillow. When had he fallen asleep? He'd been with T'Pol. She had him lay his head in her lap while she massaged around his eyes. That's the last thing he remembered. His mind reached out for her. She must be awake already, but he only had a vague sense of her. He sat up trying to concentrate. Nothing. Panic started to set in. He found clean clothes and pulled them on as he entered the corridor. On the bridge he found the night crew going about their duties. No one said anything, but he could feel the odd looks they gave him and each other as he stepped behind T'Pol's station.

"Ensign..." Trip tried to focus on her name tag. He'd seen her in the science lab, even talked to her and he couldn't think of her name.

"Ensign Carpenter, sir."

"Ensign Carpenter, do you still have the away team on sensors?"

The Ensign pointed to the screen. "Of course sir right...." The ensigns words trailed off as she saw that the blips that represented the crew on the surface that should have been on the screen weren't there. "They seem to be gone, sir." How had the Commander known they were missing? And how had she not noticed that they were gone?

"Sound a tactical alert." He needed Hoshi and Malcolm on the bridge now. "Ensign Woods try raising the Captain or Commander T'Pol."

He started trying the minute he heard that they weren't on sensors. "I'm already trying, sir. They aren't responding. I'm trying the Ambassador now Commander."

Malcolm flew off the turbolift. "Trip ... I mean Commander."

"They're missing. Sensors aren't reading their biosigns." Trip informed the tactical officer as he leaned forward with his head in his hands and took in several deep breaths.

Hoshi stepped up to the communications station. Her fingers worked the various buttons and knobs trying to find a comm signal from any of the crew.

Trip stayed at the science station trying to increase the sensors sensitivity. He finally picked up biosigns, but they were all from the inhabitants of the planet and they were not moving. Everyone was unconscious and _Enterprise_'s crew were not among them. The only thing he knew for sure was that T'Pol was alive. He could barely feel her, but he could feel her.

"Are there any ships we could have missed?" Searching for any explanation as to what occurred. An attack of some kind had taken place, but from who?

He had to get off the bridge. He needed to center himself and push his panic aside and think. The bridge was no place to appear to zone out. Wouldn't instill much confidence in the crew. "I'll be in the ready room. Keep scanning for their biosigns and Hoshi keep trying to talk to anybody you can."

When he entered the ready room he sat down and started his breathing. The door chime sounded. A crewman stood there with a tray holding a pot of coffee and breakfast. All his favorites. "I didn't order breakfast crewman. Take it back."

Placing the tray on the desk. "Chef said he received a message from you requesting we send you breakfast here as long as you were acting Captain."

He hadn't sent any message. T'Pol must have done it knowing he would need coffee and would skip breakfast if he didn't get enough sleep. "Thank you. You're dismissed." He didn't have time for this. He returned to his breathing. Maybe he could get a better sense of her or she might even be in their white space.

Malcolm sounded the chime several times just after the crewman from the galley left. He had a pretty good idea about why Trip left the bridge, but he wanted to be sure he was okay. When he got no response he went in. The Commander's eyes opened when the door closed. Malcolm could see the panic in them, but he seemed focused.

"Mal, whatever happened, it woke me up. She woke me up, but I can barely feel her. No one noticed they weren't on sensors anymore." He hoped the Ensign would forget that he had come to the bridge knowing there was a problem before he looked at the screens. He poured some coffee. It would help clear his head and keep him sharp if he didn't drink too much. He could hear T'Pol telling him he needed to eat to keep up his strength, but there wasn't time and he wasn't hungry.

"What are you going to do?" Malcolm knew he would do something. Sitting around waiting was not possible for Trip.

"Put together a team, including you. Were going down there to find them." Sensors may not be able to find them, but Trip could locate T'Pol. Malcolm would want to go and he'd need him to cover while he used the bond to find her.

"Commander Tucker, we have the Ambassador." The comm unit activated.

Trip didn't bother to answer. He went directly to the bridge. Hoshi had already put the Ambassador up on the view screen. "Ambassador, do you know where our people are?" Trip asked not wasting anytime.

"The logs we have been able to access show they were all in their assigned rooms just before we were all rendered unconscious. They are all gone. Our sensors aren't picking up any sign of them. We cannot determine how they were taken or where."

"We're on our way down to help find them. Is there anything you need us to bring with us?"

"I'm sorry, but you do not have clearance to land on the surface. Remain in orbit and we will contact you when we have something to report." The Ambassador took something from a hand that appeared on the screen.

Hoshi saw Trip's anger as he listened to the Ambassador's words. She waited for the explosion that always came when the Commander got like this. But it didn't come. Instead she watched as he closed his eyes and took in deep breaths as if he were trying to force the anger out each time he exhaled. When his eyes opened again if she hadn't seen the steel blue eyes staring back at the view screen she would have sworn she were looking at the face of most any Vulcan she had ever met. No expression on his face or in his eyes. Not one muscle dared move on his face or neck.

"We are going to look for our crew Ambassador with or without your permission."

"I repeat you do not have clearance to land another shuttle on the surface. We will locate your crew." The Ambassador restated his position very emphatically.

Trip hit a button on the arm of the captain's chair ending the transmission. "Change of plans Lieutenant Reed. He said we couldn't land a shuttle, so we'll just have to transport down instead. Have that team meet us in 15 minutes." Trip needed to figure out what coordinates to give the transport operator. He signaled for Reed to follow him.

Once Reed had spoken to his staff Trip quietly spoke to him as he studied the scans of the city below. "Mal, they aren't showing up inside the city on our sensors or theirs. We haven't picked up any ships or shuttles, so they have to be on the surface. We need to decide where to look first. Where's the most likely place shields could be used to hide from sensors."

The tactical officer assessed the area on the city map Trip had superimposed over a topographical map before him. "They might still be in a building somewhere, but they'd be more likely to be discovered. If it were me I'd be in this area north of the city. There appears to be abandoned buildings and underground structures that could be used to hide."

"We'll start there. Once we're on the surface I should be able to get a better sense of where T'Pol is. I'll download this map to both our tricorders just in case." Once he had finished Commander Tucker turned to Hoshi. "Ensign Sato you have the bridge. Try not to contact us unless absolutely necessary. No use alerting anyone that we're there. They'll figure it out soon enough."

"Yes, sir and be careful. I don't mind being temporarily in charge, but I really wouldn't want to do this full time." Hoshi had made great strides in being less timid about being in space, and had done well in the past when left in charge. But only for short periods of time. She knew it took special something to be the captain of a starship and she didn't have it and she didn't want to have it.

"I understand. I'd much rather leave it to Captain Archer myself. We'll be careful and we'll bring them back." He really did understand. He had no desire to take Jon's place ever. He could make life and death decisions if he had to, but for Trip it cost too much of who he was. What was important to him. Now that he understood what was involved he wasn't willing to pay the price to be a captain.

On the way to the transporter Malcolm gave Trip weapons. He noticed Trip exhibited no signs of panic or anger. In fact he was totally focused on their objective. "Are you really as calm as you seem?"

"I'm angry and worried about her, but it's under control, for now. Can't say for how long though. Never had to push it aside and keep it there for this long." He just had to keep breathing and hold that door shut until he could find her.

"If it gets to be too much let me know." Malcolm didn't know what he could do to help, but he'd certainly try. He'd never seen his friend be able to act rationally under this much stress before and he worried that at some point the pressure would build and he wouldn't be able to hold it in. T'Pol had been good for him, but she was also the reason he could finally break into so many pieces he would be lost to them forever.

When they materialized Malcolm sent his team to search the perimeter, while he and the Commander scanned the area. Several minutes later two of the team came back and reported movement in and around an old ruins 1 click south of their current position. The tricorder showed no life signs of any kind.

Once they found cover they surveyed the area. There didn't appear to be any security personnel or any scanners visible. These were not Prisorians, who were walking around but not showing up on sensors. Trip wanted to get a hold of any technology that blocked itself and biosigns from sensors in an open area like this. If they had been dragged into the middle of some fight they might as well get something for their trouble.

"Is T'Pol here?" Malcolm asked.

Trip closed his eyes and focused all his attention on locating her. There she was. The feeling was still faint, but it was stronger and it gave him a sense of which direction to go. "She's that way." Trip pointed off to the left. "I'm not sure how far away, but the closer we get the more accurate I can be." He just hoped they'd find the rest of the crew with her.

As they drew closer to where Trip felt T'Pol was he began to feel something more. He felt as if he were drifting in a black hole. His body jerked him back to reality when the terror of being alone and adrift hit his mind. He opened his eyes. They'd found them. The three members of security were all tied up and unconscious, probably from the beating they had taken. The Captain and the Doctor were semi-conscious and had also been badly beaten. T'Pol was laying on the ground beaten, unconscious and attached to some device with leads attached all over her body.

"Malcolm we have to get those tracking devices on them." Trip would be going after T'Pol. He wouldn't let anyone else do that, but there were 5 others and he couldn't tag them all.

"We have to make sure _Enterprise_ can lock onto them first. If they're using some type of dampening field these might not work. I'll toss one as close to them as I can. Hoshi can let us know if she can see it."

"Go ahead." Trip watched as Reed activated one of the trackers before throwing it into Archer's lap. Trip contacted _Enterprise_. "Hoshi, Are you picking up a tracking device near us?"

"Yes, sir."

"Great. When my communicator's emergency beacon goes off have the transporter lock on and get us the hell out of here."

"Yes, sir."

Malcolm gave each of them a tracker before they maneuvered around to get as close as possible to their fellow crew members. Trip surveyed the area as all eyes were on his raised hand. His hand made the silent movement to go. The group moved forward as one. Trip took the knife Malcolm had given him and cut as many leads away from T'Pol's body as he could then lifted her into his arms. Malcolm tagged the Captain while the security team headed for their counterparts. They heard shuffling behind them. Trip didn't bother to look before he yelled 'grab on to them NOW' as his emergency beacon became active.

They all materialized on the transporter pad. Medics took care of the rest of the crew while Trip headed to sickbay carrying T'Pol.

Forty eight hours later all the crew were awake but T'Pol. The security personnel had been released this morning. After one session of beatings their captors determined they knew very little of use to them and gave them something to knock them out. The Captain and Phlox had been beaten and interrogated using the device T'Pol had been hooked up to. They wanted information about who they were and why they were there. They then beat T'Pol severely before attaching the leads to her. Their questioning of her was all about her home world. They wanted information about Vulcan ships and weapons. Archer said that they made their feelings about Vulcans very clear and took them out on T'Pol until she passed out. They tried to revive her several times, but were unsuccessful.

Phlox and Archer were awake, but drifted off frequently. Their bodies needed rest to heal. Trip had T'Pol sequestered off by herself so he could spend time with her unobserved. He kept trying to reach her through their bond, but he couldn't. He kept falling into that black hole. Once the terror set in he had to forcibly pull himself back.

Trip Tucker had held it together, but his hold on his emotions had begun to slip. He had to do something, but what. Dr. Phlox was still not well and even if he was Trip couldn't tell him anything. There was no one he could talk to. Get advice about what to do without breaking his trust with T'Pol and revealing their connection. He stood and left sickbay.

Once he reached the ready room he contacted Hoshi for a secure line to Ambassador Soval.

"Ambassador, Live Long and Prosper." Trip greeted him while forming his hand into the ta'al.

"Peace and Long Life, Commander Tucker. What can I do for you today?" Soval had just spoken to Ambassador Te'lam. The Commander needed help easing tensions with the Ambassador.

How could he get what he needed without revealing too much. "Ambassador, you told me if I ever needed your assistance all I had to do was ask." Soval told him this after the Andorian Incident. He said Vulcan owed him a great deal.

"I remember." The Ambassador was intrigued.

Trip tried to breath and calm himself, but it was becoming more and more difficult. "I need your assistance, but I'm afraid I won't be able to explain why."

"I may not be able to assist you without knowing why, but you may ask."

"Is there a Vulcan ship anywhere near us that has a Vulcan doctor on it?"

"There is a ship within a day of your current location. All Vulcan ships have a doctor aboard."

"Are Vulcan doctors bound by the same oath of confidentiality as our doctors are?" There was much he didn't want repeated about T'Pol's history.

"Yes. In some instances more so."

"Can you get that ship here. T'Pol needs a Vulcan doctor. She's unconscious and I don't think Dr. Phlox is going to be able to help her. He was injured and isn't really able to help anybody."

"I will contact the captain of the _Savoy _and have them there as I said in a day. Is that all?" Soval was sure that wasn't the assistance the Commander had meant.

"No. The doctor needs to take Commander T'Pol aboard his ship for treatment." Here goes. "I need speak to the doctor before he takes her."

"Is there...." Soval stopped. Commander Tucker told him he couldn't discuss why. The young man's face became blank. He was trying to achieve the higher levels of waking meditation with difficulty. Soval was impressed first that he knew how, but more that he was trying to control himself using it. "Commander, place your hands in front of you like mine." Soval touched his fingertips together and separated his palms. "Now concentrate on your hands and inhale deeply for a count of 8 heartbeats then exhale for 8 heartbeats, while evoking the emotion opposite of the one troubling you. The more immediate the need for control the shorter the interval between the inhaling and exhaling will need to be." Soval studied him intently. T'Pol had spent many hours teaching him proper technique.

Without comment Trip did as he'd instructed several times. His calm returned. "Thanks. Is there anything we can do until the doctor gets here?"

"Keep her and the area around her calm and quiet. You should get some sleep and meditate as much as possible. You will want to be as strong as possible if the doctor requires your assistance."

Trip wasn't sure what Soval meant. "I'm not sure how much I can help, but I'll do whatever I can."

"It will depend on what the injury is. Some require a friend or family member to meld with the injured party to aid in their recovery. It is apparent you are friends."

Trip knew the answer to this, but decided to play dumb if there was any chance Soval hadn't figured out the connection between him and T'Pol. "Can a human meld with a Vulcan?" If he could bond with her he could meld with her.

"I have no knowledge if it is possible or not, but the doctor may wish to try."

"Thanks, Ambassador."

"As Admiral Forest once explained to me we're even Commander Tucker."

"I wasn't aware we were keeping score, but thanks again." Whatever Soval knew or thought he knew he wouldn't say anything to anyone. Trip didn't know why he believed this, but he knew it was true.

"Have you spoken to Ambassador Te'lam?"

"Not yet. I've been putting off contacting him and Admiral Gardner. Not really ready to sit through a lecture on establishing diplomatic relations with other species and ignoring their laws."

"I have spoken to both men. There will be no recriminations for your actions. Your duty is to your crew. No one can fault you for acting on that."

"Good to know. Did you have anything to do with smoothing things out?"

"I may have suggested to Ambassador Te'lam that he should not condemn you for trying to protect your captain and crew mates."

The expression on his face changed to a small smile. "I'm gonna end up owing you one if you keep this up."

Trip as the acting captain had to deal with the aftermath of the rescue. Ambassador Te'lam was furious with him. He didn't like it at all that Commander Tucker played a game of semantics with him. They hadn't landed a shuttle when they transported down. How could Trip be held responsible for misunderstanding? It wasn't his fault the Ambassador didn't know they possessed such technology and hadn't forbid it. Malcolm stood back biting his tongue to keep from laughing. Hoshi was not successful at her attempts and Trip glared at her severely when she let go with a chuckle or two. They both thought he'd gotten better at using his war of words because of his constant banter with T'Pol.

When the Ambassador then asked for a favor Malcolm almost choked. The laugh came from so far down that he couldn't stop it. After yelling at him the man actually ask Trip to share the information he and Malcolm had gathered on the invaders who had taken _Enterprise's_ crew. Turned out they were a race from a nearby planet that they had been warring with over their boundaries. Infecting the planet with the virus was an attempt to distract them long enough for an invasion. Tucker and Reed had both turned on their scanners before the rescue and kept them on the whole time. Between them they had collected some very valuable information that could be used to help prevent any invasion.

Trip stood there looking at the Ambassador. "We'll transport our pilot and two of our security personnel to retrieve our shuttlepod. Have someone meet them there with all our equipment and they will give them the information just before they take off."

"Give us an hour to get all your equipment to your shuttlepod." Commander Tucker was angry that the Ambassador had tried to stop him from retrieving the crew, and as much as he hated that they had gotten drawn into their fight, it was their planet and they had a right to defend it. There was no way he could justify to himself not giving them the means to do that.

"Ensign Mayweather meet the security team in the transporter room in 50 minutes."

"Yes, sir."

"Lieutenant Reed. Please select a two man team to accompany him. And transfer our scanner data to a disk. The Ensign will need to give it to whomever the Ambassador sends."

"Yes, sir."

He then turned slightly so he could see Hoshi and Malcolm both. "While I understand the urge to laugh it was unprofessional. You two really need to work on that in the future." A smile broke out across his face. The translator picked the closest English word, but what the Ambassador asked for still amounted to a favor after scolding him. He couldn't really say much to them. He had been guilty of the same thing in the past and had wanted to do the same thing today, but being in charge meant at least appearing to set a good example.

"Yes sir." They both replied with smiles on their faces.

----

Dr. Phlox was up looking over T'Pol's vitals and brainwave activity. He was still not 100% but he was trying to help his patient. Trip took a chair and sat down next to her. Phlox started to say something but saw that Tucker had relaxed back onto the seat and closed his eyes. He was either sleeping or meditating so the doctor decided to let him be. When he returned several hours later it appeared the the Commander had not moved.

Phlox was startled when Trip spoke. "Doc, how's she doing?" Worry crept into his voice. Trip had been fighting to keep the thought that this assault on her mind had been too much. That she had retreated so far inside of herself that he couldn't reach her. That the black hole he'd fallen into had no bottom.

"Her vital signs are lower than normal but steady. Her brainwaves are my biggest concern. They are erratic and some areas are barely functioning at all."

"So she's not in a healing trance is she?" She wasn't. If she had been he would have been able to reach her. He'd read everything he could find in the Vulcan database on the Vulcan mind.

"No. It's not a healing trance."

"There's a Vulcan ship with a doctor on its way. They'll be here in a few hours." This doctor had to help her. He had to hold it together so he could talk to him. Tell him all he knew about what had been done to her mind over the last several years.

"Who sent for the doctor?" Phlox knew it wasn't Captain Archer. He was still in sickbay.

"Ambassador Soval contacted them when he found out T'Pol was still unconscious. He said something about Vulcan techniques that this doctor would be aware of that non-Vulcans wouldn't." It was partially true.

"We'll let him take a look and see if there's any treatment he's aware of that I haven't considered." Mr. Tucker seemed tired. What struck the doctor most was that he had always been able to read his face to determine his mood. He saw nothing. "Commander Tucker you need to go to bed and get some sleep."

"I'm fine. I'll get sleep I promise, but I'm not leaving." He moved his chair closer to the bed and laid his head down next to T'Pol without touching her. Pulling a blanket up around his shoulders, then sliding his hand under his body to conceal it as he slide it under T'Pol's back. Once his fingers touched her skin he felt a weak connection to her. His eyes closed and he slept.

_Savoy _had arrived. The Vulcan captain came to sickbay with Lieutenant Reed and the doctor. Dr. Kivel asked to examine T'Pol. Phlox had stayed close, but the doctor requested he leave. Trip stepped away, but the doctor grabbed his arm to stop him. "Ambassador Soval informs me that I must speak with you privately."

"There are a couple of things we need to talk about, but not here." Trip spoke quietly knowing the Vulcans could hear him, but no one else could.

"After I examine her we will discuss whatever you feel we must." When the doctor touched his arm he heard Trip's thoughts. He had shielded his mind, but that did not work when physical contact was made. Someone, he assumed T'Pol, had instructed this human on how to keep his mind private from others.

The exam had been completed and Dr. Kivel informed Phlox that he would need to take T'Pol to the sickbay on Savoy. Dr. Phlox said he would make the arrangements and they would be there within the hour. When the Vulcan told him he could not accompany his patient the two doctors became embroiled in a tug of war over who had authority to treat Commander T'Pol.

Commander Tucker listened for several minutes. It became clear they were not going to settle the matter on their own, so he intervened.

"Dr. Phlox, do you know what to do to help T'Pol?"

"No I don't, but I haven't had time to investigate all the options available." He had just started to search through the database and his own medical data.

"The Vulcans have a doctor here that has no need to investigate how to treat a Vulcan. You will let them take her to their ship and treat her." Trip was still in charge. Unless Dr. Phlox could provide him with a valid reason to invoke his authority as the _Enterprises_ Medical Officer and overrule the Commander, T'Pol would be aboard _Savoy_ very soon.

"As you say Commander Tucker." Phlox had no choice but to let them take the Commander for treatment.

"Sorry Doc, but I have to do what I think T'Pol would want and you need to take care of yourself and the captain. How's he doing?"

"He's weak, but he'll be fine in a couple of days."

"Great. Now I'm ordering you to get yourself and the captain well."

Dr. Kivel stepped out of sickbay and Trip followed him. The doctor's eyes never left his face.

"Commander Tucker what is it you wish to discuss with me."

Trip looked around. "First, I need to know that whatever I say is protected by whatever oath Vulcan doctors take."

"I assure you Commander that any information you choose to give me concerning the health of Commander T'Pol will never be discussed by me."

"That covers any information even if it involves another person?"

"If you are referring to your bond then yes it includes that also. You hid it well Commander, but your shielding does not work when touched. Whatever your thoughts are when the contact is made are not protected. You must be careful not to allow accidental contact with other Vulcans if you wish to keep your mind from being read."

"I need to go with her to your ship and I need help coming up with a valid reason for being there. No one here knows and we'd like to keep it that way."

"I agree you do need to be there. You are the best chance we have of reaching her. Do you know what happened that drove her so deep into herself?"

"Several things have happened to her. I don't feel comfortable talking about any of this in the corridor. I will explain it all once we are on your ship and have some privacy." The risk of being overheard increased the longer they stood out here. Trip walked back into sickbay and pulled Malcolm aside. "I'm going with her. You'll be in charge while we're gone."

"How do we explain why you need to go aboard a Vulcan ship so a Vulcan can get treated?"

"I don't know but the Vulcan Doc is going to come up with something believable. I hope."

Dr. Kivel walked across the room to stand next to T'Pol's bed. "Dr. Phlox is there anyone on board who knows Commander T'Pol. Someone who may be able to aid me in reaching her?"

Phlox looked up from the computer screen he had been reading. "Commander Tucker and Commander T'Pol are close friends. He may be able to answer any questions you may have."

Trip acted surprised. "What do you need to know?"

"Until the procedure is underway I will not know what you may be able to offer in the way of assistance. Would it be possible for you to accompany us? You would need to wait outside sickbay and be available if I have questions."

"Sure I guess I can do that. If you think I can help."

The Commander handed off command. "Lieutenant Reed you'll be in charge while we're gone."


	3. Chapter 3

Healing to Your Life – Chapter 3

Stepping out of the shuttle felt strange. Trip hadn't been on a Vulcan ship before. When he'd been introduced to a Vulcan in the past he'd always stuck out his hand, but had to stop himself from doing so now. Stick to the ta'al. Silently he was thankful they avoided touch and preferred others kept their distance. Dr. Kivel warned Trip to avoid physical contact and that he must keep his shields up at all times until he said otherwise.

Trip told the doctor what he knew of T'Pol's past health problems. All the attacks on her mind, her nightmares, her control issues, and the damage to her neural pathways. He answered all the doctors questions and then listened as the doctor explained what he needed to do.

The doctor told him how to meld with her. She would have no barriers up. Once he entered her mind he must let himself fall into the blackness to find where she has gone. Then he must figure out what would bring her back. There was nothing the doctor could tell him about how to do this, except that it would be something they shared. If he didn't know what that something was he would have to try whatever he could think of.

Trip laid down on the bed next to T'Pol. Dr. Kivel placed his fingers in the proper place on her face. Trip repeated the words. "My mind to your mind. My thoughts to your thoughts." He began to fall. "Our minds are one." Terror of being alone. Falling. That awful dream you have where your falling and wake up before you hit the ground only he wasn't waking up and there was no ground. He just kept falling into the black night. He stopped. Hanging in the darkness. Feeling as if she was out there, but where?

"_T'Pol, is that you?" _Nothing but black emptiness.

"_T'Pol, it's me Trip. Are you here?_

What to say? What would bring her back? Was she here? He began to talk. About when they met. What had attracted him. On and on for hours. The doctor told him to leave here he had to will himself out. He would know when it was time to leave. When he started to feel like giving up. Hopeless and questioning if he should just stay here with her. Then he must leave. He forced himself to go back to sickbay.

On day two he again fell back into the blackness. He talked about their missions. Their work together. There was nothing. After hours of talking he again forced himself to go. When he woke in sickbay he was exhausted still. He had no idea how to reach her. The Doctor refused his plea to try again before he had slept and meditated.

Malcolm came to sickbay. He found his friend balled up in the corner. He hadn't slept. The doctor had said he did, but he couldn't have. This was bad. Worse than he'd ever seen Trip, he thought to himself, as he took a seat on the floor next to him.

Trip mumbled, eyes closed and rolling his head against the wall.. "I've tried everything. Can't think Mal. Last 4 years, friendship." Dejectedly he added. "Don't know what else to say."

"There has to be something that will reach her." Malcolm tried to think of anything to help Trip. "You're her mate." How do you attack someone? You find their weak point. "Didn't you say your bond would force you to take care of each other? Find a way to use that."

This wasn't the reaction Malcolm expected. Trip opened his eyes and just stared at him forever. Then his eyes lit up as he sat up. "That's it. I need to make her come protect me. Forget about hiding and come help me." Now he just needed to think about what to say to convince her he was in danger. "Thanks Mal. I need sleep." When he tried to stand his legs buckled and he fell back to the floor.

Grabbing his arm Malcolm lifted Trip off the floor with him and guided him to the bed. Without saying anything he pushed the bed next to T'Pol, placing their hands together and covering them with a blanket. After speaking to the doctor he returned to Trip's side. "You need to take this sedative. It will help you sleep." Surprised that the man who always argued about being told to sleep lifted his chin so the hypo could be administered.

"Thanks for being my friend, Mal." Were the last words he said before he drifted off for the much needed rest.

Malcolm stood over his friend thinking how fragile he looked. He had planned on talking to him about what to tell the captain, but this wasn't the time. He'd just have to think of what to say and keep them away for a little while longer. If this didn't work they'd have bigger problems to deal with. Malcolm was convinced that if T'Pol didn't recover Trip would join her.

"Dr. Kivel, let me know whatever happens tomorrow. If this doesn't work...." What? He'd lose his friend. He'd lose two friends. What would happen to the Captain? He and Trip weren't as close, but they had become friends again. The tactical officer in him took over, telling himself he couldn't think like that. But he always hoped for the best and planned for the worst. He simply didn't know how to plan for this, if the worst happened. "Just let me know what happens," he said as he walked out the door.

----

Morning came. The doctor had been right, the sleep and meditation helped. He discussed his plan with the doctor. He talked him into giving him something to make him seem groggy without interfering with his ability to think coherently. The hypo hissed as he placed his fingers before invoking the ritualistic words. Falling into the blackness felt familiar. No longer did it make him feel terrified. He wasn't alone here. He could feel her far off in the distance.

"_T'Pol are you there? I hope so. I really don't want to stay here all by myself. They didn't want to let me meld with you again. Said I wasn't strong enough. I lied to them and said I wanted to come say goodbye to you. The doc says you can't last much longer, so he let me come. Not supposed to stay long. I heard them say they couldn't make me come back unless they could wake you up. They don't know I heard them. I'm not going back. I'm going to stay with you."_

He remained quiet. He rested. Waited. He hoped she could hear him or feel him. "_Darlin, how long can we stay here? I wish I could feel you. I would rather not go through this alone. What happens when we die? Will I still be inside your mind? Do Vulcans believe in some kind of afterlife?" _

He waited again. The medication in the hypo had begun to have more of an affect. The doctor told him he would be awake but it would slowly make him seem to be drifting away. He let himself float.

His voice became shaky. "_T'Pol, I'm having trouble focusing. I want to find you, but I don't have the energy to do anything anymore. Do we have to be alone?"_

He could feel her. Unsure. Scared. Tired. He waited. He wanted to move and try to find her. Draw her closer, but he had to let her come to him. She was afraid, so he had to wait.

"_It's cold. I'm cold. Please help me, darlin."_

Nothing. He let himself feel the cold. He shivered. "_Damn, it's so cold here."_

"_Trip?"_

"_T'Pol, are you there?"_

"_Trip, is that you? Are you hurt?"_

"_No, darlin. You were hurt and came here, so I came to be with you."_

"_Came where? Where are we?"_

"_We are in your mind. What do you remember?"_

"_I remember falling asleep with you. Then..." _She felt _p_ain, fear, and started running away.

"_T'Pol stop. Don't think about it._ _Just stay here with me."_

She stopped and turned back to him moving closer again. He couldn't see her, but he could feel her. "_Can I hold you?"_

She moved close enough to touch his arm. It was too dark to see her. They were floating and she hadn't let go.

"_T'Pol, please let me hold you. It's really cold here and you can make me warm." _

Unsure, she moved along side him. Floating closer. He didn't move. Waiting until she ...

She wrapped her arms around him. Pulling him close. "_Are you warm, now?"_

"_Yes,thank you." _His arms went around her as he buried his head in her shoulder.

"_You can't stay here." _T'Pol's voice sounded weak.

"_Where else would I be? You're here so I'm not leaving." _He closed his eyes, gently rubbing his hand up and down her spine. Letting the feel of her further relax him.

His body reacted to something. "_Whoa, they're trying to get me to come back. Must have given me something to wake me up. They really can't make me leave here, can they?" _He laughed.

"_No, but you must leave or you will die."_

"_I'm not leaving you. We're bonded remember. I have to take care of you, can't do anything else. Wouldn't want to be without you." _He couldn't be without her. He had to stop thinking to himself. The doctor said his shields would only work for a while, until she became more aware. Then she'd know what he was doing.

"Trip, you can't stay."

His breathing became rapid. The hypo contained something to induce a mini panic attack. "_T'Pol help me. I can't breathe."_ They moved. He opened his eyes. It felt different. There was light. Not much, but enough that he could see her as she looked into his face. Warmth. The air felt warm. The panic lessened, so he closed his eyes again and rested.

The bond stirred. Images started to play across his mind. All of the same thing. Her greatest fear. Emotions that should be buried deep within her. He knew this. The torture must have stripped away her ability to keep them suppressed. "_T'Pol stop this. You have to put them back where they belong."_

"_I've lost my control."_

"_No you haven't. There's no way you could it's just weakened. You're too strong a person for that."_

"_I'm not strong. I feel fear and Vulcans are not supposed to feel fear or anger. We are supposed to have control and suppress these emotions. I can't even be honest with you because I'm afraid."_

"_How can you say you aren't honest? Not telling me things is not dishonest, especially when I told you I didn't want you to tell me." _

"_I can't leave. Without my control I will hurt you and everyone else on Enterprise."_

"_You wouldn't let that happen and neither would I." _He knew if she lost control and he couldn't stop her but Malcolm would. He didn't think she'd hurt him, but that didn't matter. If she believed she might he had to work with that. "_Can we stay here until you can get your control back? Can I help you?"_

"_I need to meditate, but I can't do that here."_ And she couldn't do it alone.

"_I'll have them move us to a locked room. You can wake up and we'll meditate together until you have your control again."_

"_You have not been taking care of yourself and do not have enough strength to help me."_

"_I will get stronger first."_

"_Have me moved to someplace secure. I will wait here for you, but do not return until you are ready."_

"_You promise?_" He knew if she said she'd remain here she would.

"_I promise."_

-----

"Commander Tucker, Lieutenant Reed has everything ready. I spoke to your captain and explained that Commander T'Pol requires intensive meditation to complete her recovery and that you are needed to assist her. He seemed to accept this without question because you two have meditated together for some time now."

"He knows that she helped me deal with the death of my sister and we started meditating together. Most of our crew knows that."

"There is only one thing left to do." The doctor stood at the computer pulling up data on the screen. Deleting each record as it appeared.

Trip watched the data being erased. "Won't you be questioned about the missing records?"

"We are Vulcans. No one will ask about the private information of a patient. I will make the appropriate entries in my files."

"I was nervous about coming here. I assumed a Vulcan doctor would disapprove of our bond and make me feel uncomfortable, but you have been extremely helpful. Thank you." His opinion of Vulcans was constantly changing. And recently the changes had all been positive. The doctor had treated him as any other patient and instructed him on how to keep the bond from being noticed by Phlox during scans and how to prepare for physical contact with a Vulcan to keep from exchanging thoughts.

"There is no need to thank me for doing my duty. Commander T'Pol was not my only patient. You placed yourself in my care in order to honor your mate and Vulcan traditions. No matter what my opinion of your relationship my oath as a doctor and my duty as a Vulcan made it impossible for me to act otherwise."

"I know Vulcans don't think it's necessary to say thank you, but that's all I can do." There wasn't anything he could do to repay the doctor for all his help.

"Everything is ready. You'll be transported directly to the coordinates the lieutenant gave us. We will be in the area for 3-4 more days. If I can be of any further assistance please contact me."

"I will and if I can ever do anything for you please let me know." Trip held T'Pol in his arms as they materialized in her quarters. Dr. Phlox had wanted her returned to sickbay, but the Vulcan doctor assured him that she needed quiet and privacy to meditate.

------

They were in T'Pol's quarters. He laid her on the bed and laid down beside her, placing his fingers on her face. When he entered her mind it was different. The blackness was gone. It wasn't the white space she meditated in, but there was light and he found her sitting there waiting for him.

"_Good morning, darlin."_

"_It is morning?"_

"_Yes. You seem much better. Are you ready to wake up?"_

"_Where are we?"_

"_Locked in your quarters. Phlox wanted you transported to sickbay, but we managed to hold him off for a couple of days."_

"_Who is we? And weren't we in sickbay?"_

"_We were in sickbay aboard the Vulcan ship 'Savoy' with Dr. Kivel."_

Apprehension came through the bond in waves. "_We were on a Vulcan ship? You told them of our bond?"_

"_No one, but Dr. Kivel knows about the bond and he can't tell anyone and he wouldn't anyway."_

"_A Vulcan doctor treated us? Why?"_

"_I contacted Soval and asked him to send the ship and doctor here. I didn't say why and he didn't ask. He owed me a favor and I called it in."_

"_Do you have some secret power over Vulcans? First me, then Ambassador Soval and my mother, and now Dr. Kivel. We all seem to find something about you hard to dismiss."_

"_Maybe it's just my southern charm that throws you off balance." _There did seem to be a growing circle of Vulcans that trusted him.

"_I can't see Ambassador Soval being swayed by your southern charm. He'd find it more annoying than I do."_

That was the part of his personality he often employed to irritate her on purpose. That innocent southern boy who hadn't taken anything seriously until he fell for a certain Vulcan. "_We can discuss this later. There's a lot to fill you in about, but that can wait." _Like how he tricked her into waking up. There was a major fight coming about that one he was sure. "_The doc said you need to wake up and eat a good meal. Once that happens I need to give you a sedative so you can get some sleep before we begin meditating. I also need to go let Phlox examine me. If I don't he'll make it an order, so I can't avoid it."_

"_I had hoped we could put this off longer. He will most likely discover our bond."_

"_Dr. Kivel showed me how to shield it with your help. We both have to block our minds from each other and make the bond as calm as we can during his scan. The slight increased activity he might see has been explained as being caused by our meld. He also showed me how to prevent my thoughts from being read because of physical contact with Vulcans. He says I can't totally block you, but we'll have to practice it together, so I can get better at it."_

"_You need to come sit here." _T'Pol pointed to a spot across from her. "_I need to enter your mind before we can leave here. You will know when I am there. Then you must walk until we are out of here. It may be difficult at first, but keep walking. My mind may resist leaving the protection of this place."_

She entered his mind and he started to walk. Her mind did resist. Tried to force him to go back. He pushed forward ignoring the pain and the flurry of emotions that he was sure were her minds way of trying to persuade him it was dangerous to proceed. When they arrived back to the forefront of her mind he felt the part of her that had entered his mind leave. He could now see her physical form before him. Taking her hands in his to ensure that she was indeed okay he then broke the meld and waited for her to open her eyes. He felt her fully in the bond now. The feeling had increased when he left her before, but it wasn't the same. The flow back and forth eased the tension he'd been carrying around for days now. T'Pol woke up, but her tension remained. She was fearful of her emotions overwhelming her and harming Trip and he knew it.

He took her face in his hands. "The door is locked. You can't open it unless you have the code. No one can enter, but me so everybody is safe. You just need to stay as calm as possible until we are meditating. The doctor told me what I can do to help, but for now I'm going to go get us something to eat. You lay there and rest or maybe take a shower. I'll be back shortly."

Trip entered the mess hall to the greetings of several members of the crew. They said hi and several asked how T'Pol was doing, to his surprise. Few of the crew ever asked about her. When he asked for plomeek broth he was told it would be an hour before it was ready. Chef had started a new batch when he was informed Commander T'Pol would be back on board. If he had to wait he might as well go get his checkup with Phlox taken care of.

On the way to sickbay he told T'Pol of his plans through the bond. "Hey, Doc. I'm told you need to check me out before I can start meditating with T'Pol?"

"How are you feeling? I'm told the mind meld you were involved in can be quite draining."

"I feel pretty good. A little tired and maybe a little hungry. That doctor made me eat and sleep before he did the meld. Says you just need to be sure everything's normal."

Phlox moved to the imaging chamber. "If you'll lay down on the table we'll get this over with." Trip laid down and started blocking out T'Pol and she did the same. He then used the calming techniques to level out the bond as he began to move inside the chamber. This was like meditation, but he remained fully aware. When the table moved back outside the chamber he looked up and saw the image of his body above him, paying particular attention to his brain. The areas he had been told to watch were calm. No usual signs of activity at all. Dr. Phlox seemed quite pleased at the results, but slightly disappointed. Both Trip and T'Pol were convinced the doctor suspected they were bonded. He didn't know much on the subject because Vulcans wouldn't discuss it and Phlox gave up trying to get Tucker to tell him anything when T'Pol was involved. He would not betray her trust.

Captain Archer came in just as Trip jumped off the table. "Hey Captain. Are you alright?" Concerned that he had come to see the doctor.

"I'm much better. Still having headaches, though. How's T'Pol?"

"Better. Not near ready to see anyone yet. Whatever that device did it shattered her control. She just needs a couple more days of meditation and she'll be fine." At least he hoped so.

"Dr. Kivel explained some of what happened to her and what you did to help. Must have been strange melding with them." Having had Surak's katra poking around in his head had been difficult and exhausting. Having to meld with two Vulcans he could imagine would be beyond weird, especially when you had to see them afterwards.

"It was at first, but T'Pol and I are friends so it wasn't too bad."

Archer waved his hand toward Phlox. "So did the doc here give you a clean bill of health?"

The doctor scanned through the information on the computer screen. "According to these tests Commander Tucker is almost 100%. I'd say a good nights sleep and a couple of good meals is all he needs."

"I have to meditate with T'Pol as much as she needs for the next several days. If it's alright I'd like to put in a couple of hours a day in engineering until she doesn't need my help anymore and I can get back full time." He needed something to do that didn't involve sitting still so he could get rid of some of his excess energy.

"Sounds good, just be sure you don't overdo it. We're here for 2 or 3 days until we know T'Pol is going to recover. Your people are taking care of your engines, so take whatever time T'Pol needs to get better. Dr. Kivel mentioned that she's suffered too many attacks on her mind and anymore damage to her brain would be irreversible and most probably fatal."

Trip inwardly cringed at this. That was a subject he had pushed out of his mind for now, but knew the discussion between he and T'Pol would have to happen soon. If they hadn't been bonded this attack could have been fatal. "Yeah, he mentioned that. She told me everything that has happened to her. It's a good thing she's a Vulcan with all that discipline or she'd be in really bad shape by now."

Phlox tried to hide it, but Trip caught his shocked reaction that T'Pol had told Tucker of her difficulties. Neither of them knew how much he really did know. The mental images he had seen when T'Pol became afraid the previous day told him a lot of what she was still afraid of telling him and that Dr. Phlox knew about it.

"Dr. Phlox and I are going to decide what changes need to be made for deciding on who goes on away missions. Unless it's an emergency situation she'll be restricted from being on any away mission until we are sure she won't be at risk."

Trip almost thanked the captain, but instead said. "She's not going to be happy, but at least she'll be safer. I'll talk to you both later." He also wanted to say that even in an emergency she shouldn't be put at risk of losing her mind, but he knew he couldn't as he turned toward the mess hall.

----

When he returned to pick up lunch the crewman who had been there before came out with a tray. The broth was there with tea and coffee along with breakfast for him. Stunned he didn't know what to say.

"Look Commander, the crew knows you and Commander T'Pol are trying to be discreet, but we all know you're a couple. Don't worry about it. We're all happy that something good came out of our time in the expanse and there isn't going to be any gossip about you from any of us. If there's nothing to wonder about then there's nothing to gossip about. You both deserve a break, so just keep doing whatever you've been doing and know your secret is safe."

"Thanks I guess. Does all the crew know?"

"I wouldn't know about the Captain or Lieutenant Reed, but everyone else does. It's the worst kept secret on this ship, but one that no one will discuss."

"Thanks again." Trip shook his head. If only the rest of their problems could be solved that easily. He also began to question when his life would slow down to where it didn't seem as if he and T'Pol were constantly in a whirlwind of change that they had little if any control over. Good and bad things just seemed to happen to them with little time to absorb the reality of them before the next one hit. One more item removed from that mental checklist only to be replaced with several more. He'd think about it all later when he had time.

-----

They ate breakfast. T'Pol laid down and let him administer the sedative. The doctor had said she'd be out for 6-8 hours depending on her level of exhaustion. Trip laid down to sleep beside her, knowing he would need his strength for what was to come. Before meditation could help Trip had to establish just how much control she really did have. To do that he had to push her as hard and as far as he could. And he knew the way he had chosen to do it was going to be painful for them both, but it was the only way. She had to know without any doubts that she would never harm him. He had no doubt that others might be in danger if she lost control, but he knew in the deepest part of himself that he was in no danger from her.

They ate a meal when she awoke. Once they were in the white space Trip sat and listened to her talk about trivial matters.

He stood up. "_T'Pol this isn't why we're here and you're avoiding it, why?"_

"_I'm not sure you are fully prepared for my emotions._ _You remember what it was like last time you assisted me to suppress them."_

"_We need to start with the worst while we're both stronger and work our way down. There's one issue that keeps coming back and we're going to start there."_ The images appeared in his mind. Her injecting herself in the cargo bay. Her out of control emotions, her nightmares.

Her horrified expression said it all. Anger began rising from some where deep inside her. Once he could feel the intensity had reached it maximum he started talking. How could she be so stupid? Why had she put herself and _Enterprise_ at risk? He slammed her with every question he knew she had been beating herself with. Her anger became rage and he pushed her harder. Kept taunting her, questioning her fitness as an officer, her ability to be a leader, his lover, his friend. He recognized the look in her eyes from her nightmares. Completely out of control and overwhelmed by the depth of her emotions. She took several steps forward before she stopped and looked at his face. In that moment she regained her control. Her eyes focused and Trip felt her rage subside as she fought to suppress it.

When she successfully restored control he collapsed to the floor. "_Don't you ever make me do that again."_

T'Pol went to him dropping down to her knees to place his head on her lap. "_I am sorry. I should have told you..."_

"_T'Pol forget it and I mean it. Knowing it doesn't change a thing, except that there's more bad memories for me to stuff back there with the rest. I never want to discuss it again." _

"_You are not angry at me?" _

He could feel it now. "_You want me to be angry don't you? You think you deserve me to hate you. Join you in beating up on yourself for what you think you did wrong. I'm angry at what you're doing to yourself now. Was it monumentally stupid? Yes, but so was I hanging on to my anger and wanting to kill Xindi for months. Do I wish it hadn't happened? Yes, because of what it did to you, but you're here and we're together, and that's all I care about. Let it go. Let's both let all of it go so we can enjoy what we have. If you can't do that I'll be angry." _

He stopped and took in several gulps of air. His voice softened when he continued. "_I want to remember Lorian and the other Enterprise, our friendship, and maybe a few other good things that happened while we were in the expanse, but as for the rest I don't want to think about it anymore. Okay? Please." _His voice was pleading. _T_hey had given that period too much power over their lives and it had to stop.

She searched through the bond. There was no anger, no recrimination, only understanding and love. "_Agreed." _He was right she had to let go. If she didn't it would destroy them. They had suffered so much. "_You put yourself at great risk. Do you know that?"_

"_Dr. Kivel warned me. Once I convinced him you wouldn't hurt me he told me what I needed to do. Said it was the fastest way to help but I had to have total confidence that I was safe. Otherwise we'd have had to take you to Vulcan to see a priest for months of treatment. Once I saw what you were afraid of telling me I knew I had to use it to force you to find your control. I've gotten good at using this bond to manipulate you lately. Not a skill I'm very proud of."_

"_You did what you had to do to care for me. The bond requires that of you." _The extent of his deception surprised her. Not that he would do it, but that he had discovered how to use their bond to reach her. He had also proven to her that he was not in danger from her. If she couldn't harm him in her mind where the damage would have been minimal, there was no way she would harm him in reality.

"_It wasn't the bond it was Malcolm. He mentioned the bond making us care for each other and told me to figure out how to use it. After that it was a matter of how to get you to protect me. Actually I really would have stayed with you if it hadn't worked."_

She couldn't say anything to that because had the roles been reversed she too would have stayed with him. "_You are not well. We must rest and then meditate."_

"_Darlin, we are meditating. We just need to rest, which I believe we can do right here if we made the accommodations a little more comfy."_ A couch and foot stool appeared. T'Pol leaned back against the cushions and continued to stroke his hair as they both drifted off to sleep.

----

"Ensign Sato to Commander Tucker." The comm unit sounded.

Trip stepped out of the bathroom having just showered. It came from the wall not his hand held unit.

He hit the button. "Tucker here. Ensign why are you calling me here?" She hadn't even tried his quarters or the hand held would have let him know.

"I knew where you'd be so I rerouted the signal, sir." Hoshi answered very matter-of-factly.

And left a traceable record, in her logs, if someone spent some time following her subterfuge. That would only get her into trouble if it were discovered. "Ensign disconnect this transmission and call me in my quarters, now please."

"Sir?"

"Just do it, Ensign."

"Ensign Sato to Commander Tucker," came over the hand held communicator.

"Tucker here. As you can see Ensign the problem has been dealt with. What'd you need?"

"There's a message here from Ambassador Soval for you. He wishes you or Commander T'Pol to contact him asap at the Consulate."

"Could you get him and put it through here?"

"Yes, sir. Right away."

"Thanks again Ensign Sato. Nice to know we have friends, but in the future we wouldn't want a friend to get into any difficulty for us."

"Thank you, sir."

T'Pol didn't say anything, but he could see her confusion over his interaction with Hoshi. "I guess we've been granted protected status with the crew. We're supposed to continue as we have been and they will pretend not to notice. I've been told they decided we're not worth gossiping about."

"I thought humans loved to gossip, especially about secrets?" That's how she kept up on what happened with the crew. Overhearing things in the corridors or mess hall.

"I guess we've become the worst kept secret on the ship, so why bother. I've never paid much attention to it myself, so I don't know how it works, but we're not a part of it anymore."

T'Pol wasn't going to question something that worked in their favor. "I told you they'd give us our privacy. Do you know what Ambassador Soval wants?"

"I'm sure he just wants to see if you're alright, so you can talk to him. I'm going to go down to Engineering for an hour or so. When I come back I'll bring food and then you need to go see the Doc and let him do that exam." She wouldn't leave her quarters without him. Her control was fragile still. It wouldn't take much to push her beyond her limits and she would not want to be in public if she lost control. Trip was her safety valve if her control slipped.

The exam went well. While her brain scan showed there was damage yet to repair itself, all areas were functioning as they should be. No signs of their bond showed up. The couple spent the next several days meditating and gradually working T'Pol back into a normal routine.

----

Trip pulled himself out of the maintenance shaft he had been hiding in all morning. He'd come here to try to get his mind on something but this disagreement with T'Pol. It backfired. This was the second time he'd lost concentration and injured himself. This time though he blew out the plasma conduits and everything near them was now either fried, melted, or covered with the plasma that oozed out of the ruptures.

"_T'Pol meet me in my office now."_

"_I'm on duty. I can't just leave the bridge."_

"_Well, if we don't settle this I'm going to be the poster child for what not to do when working with hot plasma and electrical circuits."_

"_You are injured again?" _She knew he had burned himself earlier and gone to sickbay for treatment, but put up her shields to keep from being distracted.

"_Yes, and don't tell me you can't feel it." _

"_I have been blocking your pain as I have a serious headache already." _She had a headache, but it was caused by blocking him out. His rants had been a serious distraction.

"_Great. Get down here, so we can discuss this before the feedback in this damn bond kills us both." _The loop had started this morning when he brought up her comments about honesty. He knew better than to bring it up when they both had to work, but she seemed to be stuck on this idea as it kept creeping into almost every discussion they had lately.

"_I will see what I can do."_

"_Don't see what you can do, just do it." _Another few hours like the past few hours and he'd be sleeping in sickbay and off duty again.

T'Pol had been distracted all morning. Captain Archer became concerned when he observed her clutching the sides of the science station. He could not tell if it was because she was in pain or having difficulty concentrating, but he decided it was best to keep an eye on her. Both Trip and the doctor had stated that she was better and he could see that she was, but something still wasn't right.

"Captain, permission to leave the bridge."

T'Pol's request startled Archer out of his thoughts. "Is there a problem, Commander?" He had been right she was have a bad morning.

"I am experiencing some difficulty and wish to go see the doctor."

"Permission granted." He watched as she stepped onto the turbolift. Alarms started sounding from the engineering station. Lieutenant Reed had moved over there to attend to them.

"Lieutenant what seems to be the problem?" The captain inquired.

"The plasma flow in one of the maintenance shafts in engineering has been diverted, causing the engines to slow to warp 2."

"Trip reported all systems were running at 100% just this morning." His report stated that there was only some minor repair cleanup to do. No problems at all. They'd be able to maintain warp 5.

"It appears the Commander missed something." Reed reported.

Trip didn't miss things like that. Something must have happened.

---

T'Pol entered engineering. The staff she encountered said good morning and someone informed her that Commander Tucker was in his office. It still amazed her that the crew now treated her as one of them while ignoring the relationship between herself and Trip. As she approached his office she heard him talking to his second.

"Hess, when the captain calls down here you have my permission to tell him the chief engineer is the idiot who broke his ship. Get someone in there to clean up the mess. I'll be there to help and complete the repairs myself as soon as I take care of a couple of things." He needed to take care of the burn down his side and along his upper arm and T'Pol or he would have done it all himself. He didn't like making others clean up after him, but sometimes it was necessary.

On the way back into his office he turned the comm unit off before unzipping his uniform to the waist and peeling it off on the way to the sink. His black shirt was covered with plasma and blood as he tried to gently pull it away from his burned flesh. T'Pol entered and stood behind him to assist in removing the garment. Finding a clean cloth he ran it under the cold water before squeezing it dry again over his wounds, letting the water run down his pant leg. He turned his head to look back over his shoulder.

"I thought we agreed to keep our personal stuff to off duty time?"

"We did."

"Then why have we been arguing about this all morning?"

"You believe this is my fault? That we are arguing because I have no control to stop myself?"

"I didn't say that. Stop blowing things out of proportion. Why do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Take everything I say and make it worse."

"You said I'm avoiding the issue."

"You are. You're stuck on some idea that you haven't been honest with me. That's all I keep getting. If you haven't been honest with me by not telling me things about your past then do you think I haven't been honest with you?"

"I never said that."

"Then you're holding yourself to some idea about what it means to be honest but I'm not being held to that same standard?"

He moved to sit on the edge of the desk extending his legs out and crossing his arms across his bare chest. She was her examining his logic from every angle. He could feel her going through that step by step analysis she attacked problems with. "If that's what you think honesty is then I'm not going to argue with you. We'll sit down and go through every detail we can remember, but you better be clear on exactly what you're asking for."

"What does that mean?" Trip had obviously thought about this more than she had.

"It will be an embarrassing, painful, and maybe even harmful experience for both of us. There are things I'd rather not discuss and I know you have a few of those things in your past too. I'd rather talk about things as they come up. If you want to know about something then just ask me. It's not that I'm hiding anything it's just that with memories come emotions and some are better left alone."

She didn't respond. "It's like an injury. When it begins to heal it scabs over. If you leave it alone it tends to get better. If you don't and keep picking at the scab it's like you've injured yourself again and the healing process has to start all over."

As she considered this she heard footsteps coming toward the door. "We are about to be interrupted." T'Pol let Trip hear what she heard.

"It's not my staff they wouldn't disturb us unless there was an emergency." Trip heard the steps getting closer and T'Pol's thoughts about who it was. She was right it was Captain Archer. The cadence of his steps as he walked with determination to find his chief engineer were unmistakable.

"You need to meditate more. It's the only way to resolve the issue." Trip told T'Pol as the door opened to admit their captain.

"I will consider your advice Commander. Would you be available to assist me after our shifts are over?" T'Pol knew he was right they needed to meditate. They had skipped it this morning due to her being upset with him.

"I'm sorry, but I thought my First Officer asked to leave the bridge to go to sickbay?" It looked like his chief engineer needed to go to sickbay also.

"I did Captain, but on my way there I discovered that perhaps a discussion with the Commander would be more helpful. I do intend to go see the doctor about this headache." The irony of this situation was not lost on T'Pol. She and Trip had been arguing about honesty and here she was being dishonest with her superior officer. When had it become so easy to twist the facts around to suit their needs?

Trip felt the pangs of guilt for her deception and her resolve to find a way to avoid being in this situation again. That quickly changed to concern for her mate. Their close proximity made blocking his pain impossible. His previous injury was still painful and the pain from the newly acquired burns had intensified.

"I have to go see doc about these burns, so I can get back down here and clean up this mess." He could see the look on Jon's face. "Don't look at me that way. I screwed up and it's going to take me until tomorrow to fix it. The sooner I get to see doc the sooner I can get started on my repairs." Trip still half dressed walked past the Captain, avoiding his eyes, as he exited the room.

Trip stuck his head in the maintenance shaft on his way out finding Ensign Rivers. "Billy why are you the only one who ever gets assigned to clean up after me?"

"I didn't get assigned. I volunteered, sir." The young ensign said as he smiled.

"Are you a glutton for punishment?"

"No sir, I really don't mind. Rather be busy than bored." Trip understood that. He felt the same way.

Hess heard this exchange. She knew exactly why the ensign volunteered whenever there was work related to anything the chief might be doing. She had taken advantage of the same quirk in his nature the first 2 years aboard _Enterprise_. Without thinking about it Trip rewarded those who did his grunt work without complaint. Hess knew there was an order the ensign would be counting on. His own private tutoring session with the chief engineer. He'd been assigned to _Enterprise_ less than a year ago and already had more time logged working with Trip than everyone but Hess.

"Chief, you need to go to sickbay." Hess pointed at his side.

"I'm going. Assign Billy to me for the next 2 days." Trip ordered. As he passed through the door, "Billy if you get that mess cleaned up before I get back start writing out a repair plan. We'll work it out in more detail when I get back."

A very enthusiastic, "yes, sir," came from the young ensign.

The pair entered sickbay. Doctor Phlox was smiling until he saw Tucker's torso. "Commander we really need to discuss this penchant you have for injuring yourself."

"I'm an engineer what do you expect?" He did have to admit he had streaks where it seemed as if he never left this room or at least visited it often.

"I would have thought your burns from earlier would have been enough to convince even you to be more cautious."

"Just put something on these to stop the pain. I have a lot of work to do." Why do I let her get me so worked up that I forget what I'm doing. It serves me right.

Phlox scanned the burns stating they were 1st and 2nd degree and would be painful for the next several days. After applying an ointment and something from one of his pets he bandaged the wounds.

T'Pol remained quiet. Observing off to the side. "Commander T'Pol can I help you?"

"I have a headache and require an analgesic." No pain reliever would help her, but better to appear to be seeking the doctor's assistance.

"How long have you had this headache?"

"It began yesterday." She said this in a hushed tone some part of her hoping Trip wouldn't hear. She knew he had when she saw his face. Her headaches usually came from blocking things out of the bond. She could see him trying to access her mind and when he couldn't she saw the angry expression cross his face as he turned to leave.

"Commander Tucker, don't forget to stop back in the morning. I need to redress your burns and apply more ointment. If you need something for the pain just let me know." Phlox yelled to his back.

Trip spent the rest of his day concentrating and working with Billy to affect repairs. His frustration level rose as the day progressed. By the time he reached the Captain's Mess for their weekly Wednesday night dinner his mood was hard to miss.

"Sorry, I'm late. Had to spend extra time cleaning myself up." Trip told his dinner companions as he entered the room.

"It's fine. Just glad you're getting us up and running again." Archer replied.

Trip nonchalantly looked at T'Pol who had been ignoring him all day. He'd finally had to push the bond noise to the back of his head when it became obvious she wasn't going to respond to his pleas. Her gaze was directed at the captain and even though they were very close to one another she still ignored her mate.

Trip sat in the chair next to T'Pol. "Well, I have the engines..."

T'Pol got up heading to the door. "If you'll excuse me Captain I'm not feeling well. Meditation may aid me more than a meal at this time."

"Okay, do whatever will make you feel better." Archer said as she opened the door.

"T'Pol are you okay?" Trip asked out loud as she wouldn't answer him through their bond.

He thought she'd answer him if he asked in front of the captain, but he was wrong. She kept walking. "Damn, I should never have let me feet hit the floor this morning."

"What's that about your feet?" Archer was curious.

"Since I got out of bed this morning my day has gone from bad to worse. I'm sorry Jon. Can we eat? I'm starving. I missed lunch." He missed their lunch date. He hadn't even bothered to let her know he couldn't make it. Add that to whatever else she was mad about.

"Sure. Chef is making fish tonight, so I told him to send the food whenever it was ready."

"Good. I know these dinners are not supposed to be business but there are a few things we need to talk about." Trip continued explaining about what was needed for the engines through dinner.

Trip took T'Pol's dinner with him as he left, stopping in the galley to warm her pasta and get tea for them both. When he entered T'Pol's quarters he found her seated with her back to him attempting to meditate. He laid the plate on the desk and sat down on the chair nearest him.

"Please leave."

"And where exactly am I supposed to go."

"You have assigned quarters."

"Yeah, I guess I do, but I haven't spent more than 5 minutes in them since...... I don't even know how long." His room had been staged to appear as if he still occupied it if anyone were to drop by. There were clothes in the drawers and a uniform hung in the bathroom. Towels were hung on the towel bars and he'd even left some dirty ones on the floor with a pair of socks. It was by no means dirty, but had the typical Tucker lived in look about it.

"Just because you haven't stayed there doesn't mean you can't."

Trip became angry. "You can scream, or fight, or refuse to talk to me, but this is home and I'm not leaving." He stood, stripped off his clothes, and slipped into the bed facing the wall. Unofficial or not he was staying. Going to his quarters wasn't going to make his headache go away. Even if they were fighting being close to her was better than nothing. "I know you're upset, but you still need to eat." He closed his eyes and feigned sleep. He knew he wasn't going to sleep, but he could at least try to get himself relaxed.

"Trip."

The internal clock he could now tap into said he'd been laying there for almost two hours.

"Trip."

"Yeah."

"I require your assistance to meditate." She'd eaten the dinner he'd brought, but refused to speak to him until now.

He let out a sigh. "All you had to do was ask, but you have to agree to talk about today before or after we meditate."

He'd meditate anyway, but the blackmail was to let her know he wanted to talk. "I agree."

Trip threw his legs over the side of the bed and slid himself down behind her. He wrapped his arms around her as he laced the fingers of both hands into hers. "We meditate and talk after."

"We can talk while we meditate."

"No, we can't. You need to meditate to process your emotions not create more. That space is neutral and I'd very much like to keep it that way." No fighting, disagreeing, or cross words. He knew T'Pol had days when she needed him to meditate, especially when her emotions were intense, so they needed to keep that space free from the stresses of their everyday lives.

"Agreed." He might be angry, but he would always do what he needed to do to care for her. They meditated until her emotions were suppressed.

When he came back to reality the pain he hadn't felt while meditating instantly made him wince and draw away from T'Pol. "Darlin, we have to find a way to stop causing each other pain. My mind and body can't take much more. We need a break."

"Your burns are my fault?" He'd been yelling his complaints so loud she'd had to block him out.

"I never said that."

"You have been saying that all day. Complaining about me fighting with you and being stubborn..."

Trip listened to her and thought about what had been running through his mind all day. "You're right I did a lot of whining to myself today. You only heard the things I said about you, didn't you?" She must have, but he'd had plenty to say about his own part in the events of the day.

"Did you complain about someone else?"

"Me..... You do the same thing all day you know. You complain about everything that annoys you all through the day. I tune it out because I know it's just you trying to deal with your emotions like humans do. Did you really meant it when you thought about strangling Travis for constantly grumbling about the fluctuations in the engines or when you wanted to smack Hoshi for tapping her foot to her 'mystery music'?"

"Of course not. How is that the same as what you were doing?"

"I get frustrated and today has been worse than usual. I've learned to keep that frustration off my face and out of my voice, but I have to vent it somewhere. You just have to stop listening to it and stop taking it seriously."

T'Pol thought about this. He had explained how to vent as he called it to keep her emotions at a manageable level until she could meditate, but she hadn't considered that humans do this all the time to work through their emotional responses without inflicting them on those around them. He whined and she wanted to physically accost people. "So I need to ignore these tirades unless you direct them at me?"

"Yes. And next time Travis grumbles about the engines you might suggest he keep it to himself or at least complain to the person who is actually responsible."

"He 'grumbles' all the time when the engines aren't doing what he thinks they ought to. Most days we just let him go, but it might be better to tell him to speak to you if he has any complaints." Today had been a bad day for everybody it seemed.

"I always thought of him as kind of quiet." Maybe he needed to spend more time on the bridge. "I'm sorry I forgot about lunch. I got so involved in trying to work around the lack of spare parts that it slipped my mind."

"I would appreciate the courtesy of you telling me you cannot make it, but I knew you were busy." She had known, but the last part of his statement caught her by surprise. "We are short on spare parts?"

"Yeah, part of my frustration today has been because I let myself get so distracted and now we can't go faster than warp 2.2. I had to tell the captain tonight that we need to find parts or material to make our own parts to finish the repairs." Jon hadn't asked what caused the plasma conduit to rupture and Trip wasn't going to volunteer it. But he still felt guilty for having been the cause of the current state of the engine. They'd be fine at warp 2.2 unless they ran into trouble and needed more from the warp drive.

"My lack of control causes you to feel my emotions and you become frustrated." T'Pol let her shields down to let the bond flow more naturally. There was still this big angry ball of fire bouncing back and forth between them in the bond. Giving emotions a physical form in her mind had proven to be helpful in keeping than at bay until she could suppress them, but this bundle of emotions had gotten out of control rapidly.

Trip felt the bond slamming at his mind. He allowed his shields to come down. The headache eased, but the fierceness of the emotions flowing between them overwhelmed him. "No more it's my fault or it's your fault. We're partners and we're going to figure this out together." Trip sent all the positive emotions he could muster through the bond. He felt T'Pol do the same as she began ripping the sheets off the bed.

"What are you doing? You just put those on yesterday."

"You are burned on your right side and would have to face the wall to sleep, so we need to sleep at the other end."

Trip watched her trying to read her mind. She wouldn't come right out and say it, but with his injuries he could only hold her if he laid on his left side. It didn't matter to him that she couldn't say these things out loud. He knew all he needed to know and in time he hoped to convince her that actions spoke louder than words and overcome her worry that she would never be able to verbalize her emotions. He never expected her to and he had even stopped doing it himself. Not saying things made him more prone to show it. Hearing it would be nice, but there were things he needed much more than words.

Laying down felt wonderful. "Darlin, I say we stop trying to solve anymore problems. No stress so we can just enjoy being together for a while?" They needed to learn how to talk to each other. Vulcans didn't have personal issues so they had no experience discussing or working them out. As best he could tell Vulcan mates cared about each other, but suppressed all the emotions that would cause disagreements. He wished more than anything he could have talked to her older self when they encountered her. How had she learned to accept her emotions? How could he help his T'Pol? He'd have to settle for making sure she knew he loved her no matter what and that he knew she loved him.

"We can try." T'Pol molded her body into his as he laid his arm over her and pulled her closer.

And try they did. They worked and spent their free time meditating, relaxing, and being together. Finding the balance to keep her emotions under control and making their bond work for not against them. They eventually found a planet to resupply their depleted spare parts and raw materials. Trip, Malcolm,and a two man security team went to the surface in search of vendors. After the security team asked him for the umpteenth time what this part was or what that meant he decided he needed to ask for someone to transport down.

"Tucker to Captain Archer."

"Archer here."

"Captain we need Hess, Rostov, or T'Pol to transport down here. Malcolm and his guys don't know what they're looking for. It's going to take me hours to check out all these shops by myself." Especially if he had to keep explaining what they needed or examining the finds of the rest of the team. He needed someone who actually knew what a plasma regulator or injector looked like or what materials could be used by his staff. He preferred T'Pol be sent because she knew what she was doing and he wanted her close by. The planet seemed safe enough and they had Malcolm and his team here for protection.

Once she arrived Malcolm, T'Pol, and Ensign Graves took one side of the street and Trip took Ensign Brooks with him. After finding everything on their list the two ensigns requested time to make some personal purchases. The commanders contacted the captain and obtained his approval to remain on the surface for an additional 2 hours.

Malcolm followed the couple at a respectable distance to offer protection while still allowing them privacy. The closeness between them as they they walked together without touching fascinated the Lieutenant. T'Pol's face had that expression only those who had spent any time with her would notice. She was completely relaxed and at ease with her mate, enjoying their time together. Trip was an easy read with the Tucker grin plastered across his face, as they window shopped. They came to a shop where fabrics were on display. Trip lifted several different bolts of material along side her face to judge how it looked against her skin. They walked together Trip laughing and carefree like he hadn't been in some time. The longer Reed knew them the more convinced he was that they were perfect for each other. In the beginning he thought otherwise and had stated that fact to Trip many times. But as their relationship grew he saw his friends accept and adapt to accommodate each others needs.

They had stopped at the end of the street sitting across from each other in a small cafe eating some local dishes, talking, and pointing to the horizon. Malcolm wondered if he would ever find someone to care for like that. His fears of closeness had been instilled in him early by his parents. His mother acquiesced to whatever his father wanted, never expressing an opinion or objection that had not been approved by him first. His father had expected total obedience from everyone without question. His was a strict British military family. After meeting Vulcans and getting to know some of them it became clear that his parents were more closed off than any Vulcan he'd ever met. He'd begun to realize his apprehension about having a Vulcan on board had little to do with what he knew about Vulcans and everything to do with his parents. Trip had suggested he left home because some part of him deep down didn't want to become them. He was beginning to believe him.

-----

The repairs had finally been completed. Captain Archer paced across the bridge visibly irritated that he hadn't been able to reach his senior officers. He'd commed all three of their quarters several times with no response.

"Ensign, Sato, would you have the sensors locate the commanders and Lieutenant Reed?"

"Sir, you'll find them in the mess hall." Hoshi offered.

"You seem awfully sure of yourself." She knew something. He could tell by that look in her eyes.

"Yes sir. I'm supposed to meet them there after my shift."

Captain Archer stepped off the turbolift. As he approached the door to the mess hall he heard music and several voices. To his utter surprise several tables had been rearranged to accommodate the twenty or so people around them. A buffet style setup sat behind the group. His entire bridge crew, except Hoshi, were seated around the table with several members of the crew. Malcolm had taken a position next to the buffet explaining what each dish was and what holiday or festival it represented in England. The music in the background was most certainly a selection of British tunes.

Archer took a seat and watched as T'Pol approached the food and placed small amounts of several dishes on her plate, while conversing with those around her. She remained as expressionless as always and required they not cross into her personal space, but everyone seemed to accept this and her. When had she become a part of this crew and not the Vulcan Science officer? When had Malcolm gotten so comfortable with his fellow shipmates? Other crew in the mess hall stopped by to ask what was being served tonight. They were all invited to join in if they wished.

Archer heard T'Pol call out Trip's name. He had never heard her call him Trip before. The emotion he saw in Trip's eyes and across his face as he stopped and looked back at her told him there was much more than friendship going on there. Where was that expressionless man he'd seen on the bridge and in engineering lately. He wasn't hiding anything here. Some silent agreement seemed to be in affect because no one took any notice of the obvious affection between the two senior officers. In fact after glancing around the room he saw that no one paid any attention to anyone that wasn't seated at their table.

When Trip turned back around he became aware of Jon sitting across the room and walked straight to him. "Jon, why don't you join us? There's plenty of food if you're hungry."

Archer considered the group for a moment. They were all in casual clothes and on a first name basis with each other. Another small group had come in and occupied the empty seats around the table. Their duty shift had ended a short time ago. "I'm not sure the captain would be welcomed."

"No one will mind if you can stop being the captain and just be Jonathon Archer for a while."

Did he know how to do that anymore? His sense of duty had overridden everything since the Xindi attack. "What exactly is this little gathering about?"

Weekly Trip, T'Pol, and Malcolm began learning about new cultures together through food with Chef's assistance. Other crew members expressed an interest and joined them. They had agreed to no uniforms, no rank, and no work during the meal. They discussed the holidays, customs, and foods of whichever culture they were learning about. One member was responsible for the night's meal and enlisted others to help them and Chef prepare for the meal. "You have to stop working more than at dinner with me and T'Pol." Trip knew this was hard for him. Being captain made having relationships aboard ship difficult, but not impossible. They had managed to find a way to be friends again, but Jon had isolated himself from the rest of the crew. He had a good working relationship with the bridge crew, but no other friendships outside of work.

As Jon listened to his friend talk. His happiness came through. The twinkle that drew people to Trip had returned to his eyes. He was happy so everyone around him was going to be happy too. Jon rose from the table and went to eat with his crew. These people had gone through some horrific things together and had come to a place where they were helping each other heal. He had not yet found Jonathon Archer the man again, and he did not feel like he was a part of them, but maybe if he pretended long enough he eventually would.


	4. Chapter 4

Healing to Your Life – Chapter 4

"Captain. There's a treadmill open now, sir." The crewman must have thought he came for exercise. The room certainly had been full for this early in the morning, but he supposed they all scheduled their time here to watch the extraordinary exhibition he'd just experienced himself.

Wanting details about the sensor modifications Engineering had been implementing he stopped by to invite Trip to breakfast. When he didn't answer his door an Ensign passing by informed Archer that he'd find the Commander in the Rec Room A.

Two figures in full protective gear were in full attack mode on the mats. Their staffs moved with lightening speed as they attacked and defended. One would block a jabbing strike then sweep the other with a quick movement. Having never seen Trip exhibit such control he was riveted to the scene before him until a blow came which would crush his skull. The ease with which it was defended against had barely registered when the pace and intensity increased. The sound and speed of the staffs making contact pointed to hours of practice. Where had his friend learned to move like that? Trip had mentioned he exercised every morning but Thursday and they had talked about this staff practice once, but Jon hadn't heard anything more about it so assumed it had ceased.

He was aware that he hadn't been able to pick up any news about his staff through gossip in weeks. Listening on the bridge to his staffs chatter hadn't brought forth any juicy bits of information either. It was unlikely there was nothing newsworthy happening aboard _Enterprise, _they just weren't talking about it_. _Crew rotations for anyone below the rank of Ensign would be coming up in a few months and he had already received several requests for extended deployments. Starfleet discouraged keeping the same forward presence due to training considerations. The admiralty also felt that the relationships formed amongst those who were stationed together permanently would hamper a crew's ability to effectively perform their duties. While observing his staff the Captain had determined that a close crew was not detrimental. While it made things more difficult when tragedy struck, it also made it easier. Support was always available through the good and the bad times each faced.

The noise ceased and staffs dropped in unison as if some alarm had gone off to tell each to stop. Tucker dropped down, his head gear peeled off before his back hit the mat, smiling. T'Pol soon dropped to her knees out of breath. The end of her staff sitting in the middle of Trip's chest. Archer had once thought he and the Science Officer could be more than colleagues. But when T'Pol reminded him they were not in positions that would allow them to become attracted to each other he knew it would never work. He was the Captain and had to make life and death decisions about his crew. He'd already sacrificed a romance with Erika Hernandez and the closer friendship he'd once shared with Trip Tucker for his ship. Duty would always come first. That was a job requirement for a Captain and he knew this when he accepted the responsibility. Besides even though he and T'Pol were close their relationship had little room to grow because they were too alike in many ways and too different in others.

Seeing the silent exchange in their eyes now reminded him that Trip and T'Pol had started off physically attracted to one another. At first Jon could not accept it, but after a time he saw their fighting and friction for what it was. He believed they would have a fiery romance for a short time because they were too different to have a serious relationship. Evidently they disagreed because while he was lost in the mission they were spending time together, which allowed them to become friends, who relied on and trusted each other. Looking at them now he could see they were more alike than he wanted to see before. They're both very private about their innermost selves. They're both stubborn, but about the things that really matter. Their careers and their beliefs. They're both intellectuals, who challenge and tease. He's emotional where she's controlled. He's laid back and easy going where she's rigid and disciplined. They share the same values and interest in new ideas and cultures, which provides each the opportunity to grow. To learn to balance and tolerate the differences.

As he watched the couple head off to the showers he decided to wait and join them in the mess hall for breakfast before their duty shift began.

"Trip why do you even bother? How can you ever expect to win an argument with a Vulcan about Surak's teachings."

Trip shot a slightly agitated glance at Billy. "So just because she's Vulcan her interpretation is the only valid one? You can't really believe that?"

"I'm just saying she's studied this all her life, so she understands it better than we do."

"So just because I haven't studied something for years I'm wrong?" Trip was becoming extremely exasperated with this line of reasoning.

Captain Archer approached. "Sounds like quite a lively debate for breakfast."

T'Pol looked up from the padd she had been studying. "The Commander has yet to learn to master his passions and has lost all perspective."

"Slam dunk. You might as well give up. T'Pol only calls you Commander when she's sure she's won." With some sense of female solidarity Melissa, the young Ensign sitting next to Billy, added her boisterous comment in an attempt to push Trip further into his emotional mindset.

Glaring at T'Pol Trip changed tactics. "I'm arguing from emotion and not reason is what you're all trying to say." They think they have me. "That may be true, but you're all arguing I'm wrong because Vulcans have studied Surak for years and understand it better than humans do, right?" He looked around the table as each nodded yes. "You've all lost sight of the fact that the teachings the Vulcans have been studying for years were based on some distorted ideals that the Kir'shara has proved are not based on Surak's original text." Trip waited for the reaction. He'd been comparing some of the original to the Terran copy of _The Teachings of Surak_ T'Pol had given Jon.

Archer chimed in. "He has a point. The main argument the Syrannites had for finding the Kir'shara was that Vulcan was being led astray by a corrupt Government which had twisted Surak's teachings to met their own needs." That's what T'Pau had explained to Archer while they trekked across the Forge.

"Perhaps I was mistaken in my assessment of Trip's lack of perspective. The recent behavior of Vulcan's does lead one to logically argue that our interpretations of Surak's teachings may be in error." T'Pol had considered this possibility, but had not considered that Trip might have. As she captured each thought passing through his mind she understood he had read the old and the new teachings, but had not given the significance much thought until he was challenged here today. How he and other humans could suddenly make such connections when in an emotional state had always baffled her.

"_What do you think I do all those hours you're on the bridge and I'm off-duty?" _He smiled inwardly.

"_Why have you not discussed your questions with me?"_

"_The point was to distract myself while you were working not distract you."_

She didn't respond, but he sensed her belief that he only read fiction and engineering reports. "_Does everyone think I only care about engines?"_

"_I did not mean to imply you had no interest. You simply have not shared them with me."_

"_I didn't know I needed to, but if you want to know I'd be glad to share all my interest with you." _There was a definite edge to his response.

She sensed agitation from him. "_Have I offended you in some way? Is it wrong for me to want to know what matters to you?"_

"_No....." _You've spent 4 years trying to get her to care and now that she does, you're being an idiot. There's nothing you can do about Jon. Trip had tried to get his friend to reconnect with the crew, to talk about it, to remove that dark, lost look in his eyes. But he'd failed. Taking out your frustration on T'Pol isn't going to help anybody. "_I guess if you look at it that way we should know what matters to each other. It's just ....I can't just list what interest me. It changes all the time. Right now it's Vulcan culture and Surak. Later it will be some new thing we discover out here or a new idea."_

She knew this was true. His concerns about his friend were affecting him. "_I share your frustration about the Captain."_

"_I just keep thinking I should be able to help him like you helped me." _

"_I helped you because you allowed me to. We became so close we bonded. The Captain does not yet want to be helped. If he did he would accept that which has been offered." _Trip, T'Pol, and Phlox had all offered to talk with him, but he hadn't taken any of them up on it.

"_I know you're right, but it doesn't make it any easier."_

Captain Archer spoke up to state his reason for being there. "Sorry to interrupt your breakfast, but I need an update on the sensors." The staff didn't know yet, but Starfleet had a new mission for them. Several space stations in the outlying regions of the quadrant had been unreachable and _Enterprise_ was to investigate. They needed the sensors working at optimal levels.

"I haven't had a chance to check into Engineering yet this morning." Looking at the chronometer across the room. "My shift starts in 20 minutes, so I can get back to you in an hour or so." Trip replied knowing the Captain probably expected him to go to Engineering right away.

"Trip, we need to run a diagnostic on the tactical sensors before we can make any other changes. The data is on your desk." Billy reported to his boss, breaking the no talk about work rule since the Captain had already done it.

Archer saw that Malcolm must have known of the problem as he just nodded in the affirmative when he heard the tactical sensors mentioned.

His chief engineer used to be so focused on his work that he would have already read the report and had an update or would have immediately asked the Ensign about the information waiting on his desk. At some point the senior staff had all begun to cherish their down time more. This wasn't an emergency he reminded himself, so he shouldn't expect his staff to respond as if it were and give up their off-duty time. Seeing the whole senior staff before him Archer informed them, "Senior staff meeting in my ready room at 09:00. Bring your update with you Trip."

"No problem, sir." Trip responded automatically.

Crewman Greer stopped by and drew their attention back to the table. "Who picked the movie this week?" Trip watched as a detached Jon left, walking aimlessly out of the mess hall.

"I did?" Melissa raised her hand.

Trip usually knew what genre of movie they'd be watching by who's turn it was to chose it. Malcolm was action/adventure, Hoshi was romantic or cultural, Travis liked car chases or anything that flew, Billy liked westerns, T'Pol liked historical, but Melissa was still an unknown. Her taste ran all over the place. Her last choice _Flight of the Red Balloon_ was in French with subtitles. "So are you going to tell us what the movie is?"

She had this evil smirk on her face "I think I'll let it be a surprise."

"Do I have to read it again?" Malcolm asked almost complaining. He liked to enjoy his movies and reading subtitles meant he had to work at it.

"Maybe." was the only reply they got.

Trip chuckled. He may not know her taste yet, but he knew her well enough to know what her answer meant. "Well, if it's going to have subtitles it better be worth it." Once he got over the initial shock of seeing words at the bottom of the screen he had to admit the film wasn't bad. T'Pol liked it. Malcolm complained loudly, but he had watched it and even made some astute observations later when they talked about it. "Gotta go to work. See you later." Trip winked at T'Pol, who nodded back to him as he left.

_____

Archer outlined their new mission. The first stop would be Deep Space Station K-7. Next they discussed the sensors. The engineering report dealt with a series of anomalous readings from the motion tracking sensors. Trip, T'Pol, and Malcolm began troubleshooting the problem on the bridge.

"There's no pattern to the blips we keep seeing. All the other sensors show no disturbances and they come at odd intervals in different locations." Malcolm was clearly frustrated. If sensors were really picking up something they had no idea what.

"T'Pol can you plot the readings and position _Enterprise_ at the proper coordinates when each occurred?" Trip requested.

"I will put them on the view screen. It may take several minutes." T'Pol busily moved around her station pulling up data and inputting it into the computer.

Trip pulled himself up off the floor. Moving to the Engineering station he studied the Captain. Thinking about what he might try to reach his friend until he noticed Malcolm watching T'Pol as she moved back and forth between her consoles. He moved towards the tactical station and whispered. "Doesn't leave much to the imagination does it?"

Beyond embarrassed the red-faced Malcolm stammered out quietly, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be ogling another man's girl." Especially when the other man was right there. He continued to himself.

"It's okay Mal. I like looking myself, but I really hate those uniforms." Trip liked it much better when a woman's clothes left something for his very active imagination to do and it wouldn't hurt if her attire didn't attract the stares of every male she came in contact with.

"Well, at least you know other guys will only ever look."

"Yeah, she's definitely not the type to mess around, and I haven't meet too many men who are brave enough to approach her."

"You did and you're still walking around." Although time, neuro-pressure, and persistence, probably helped in Trip's case.

"Look how long it took before she finally let me get close." Tucker moved behind his friend lowering the tone of his voice. "It's doesn't matter because our bond makes messing around impossible."

At the mention of their bond the already embarrassed Tactical Officer was now extremely hot under the collar. Not only had Trip seen him but T'Pol's excellent hearing meant she heard them talking and probably had tuned in to their conversations through the bond. From the expression on Trip's face that was exactly what had happened.

Hoshi watched the two men as Trip issued what she saw as a mild reminder, about proper manners, without anger or malice. Taking pity on Malcolm who had just mouthed an apology to T'Pol, Hoshi offered up information on their mission. "Commander Tucker, I have the information you wanted on K-7."

Captain Archer and Reed both looked at her with odd expressions. "The Commander asked for information about the space station?" Archer's surprise evident in his question. Trip usually waited to learn about the places they visited first hand unless T'Pol found it necessary for them to know something before they landed on the surface.

Trip was indignant. "What's the big deal? Does everyone think I'm so shallow that I'm only interested in warp engines?"

The Lieutenant let out a laugh. "No, you like movies too."

Trip fought the urge to be upset with his friends at T'Pol's silent request. "A warp 5 starship was part of the reason I took this commission, but exploring space and learning new things was part of it too. It can't hurt to know as much as you can before you meet new people. I've made enough stupid mistakes and I'd like to avoid making anymore." Besides he'd pushed the technology on _Enterprise_ about as far as he could without totally redesigning the ship. He needed new interests if maintaining his engines were all he could do.

Hoshi couldn't believe it. Men got upset at each other, banged their chest, and moved on as if nothing happened. She never understood why they teased Trip about his supposed lack of interests. He'd told her once he wished he had her skill with language, so that he would be needed on away missions. He was eager to visit new places and learn new things. "If you guys are done I'd like to tell the Commander what I found?"

Wanting his bridge crew focused Archer shifted back into Captain mode. "Go ahead Ensign."

"It's a civilian station. There's a Klingon outpost a little over 3 light years away. It's near Sherman's Planet where they are starting to build an agricultural station for the region."

At the mention of a Klingon outpost Trip became more alert. "I don't remember any mention of an outpost nearby in Starfleet's report. You'd think they'd have mentioned the presence of Klingons after all our encounters with them." The fact that Klingons had a High Council and called themselves an Empire didn't seem to have any bearing out in space. They were unbridled warriors and each encounter thus far had involved violence. They had been attacked, the Captain imprisoned, and their doctor kidnapped. They were even threatened when they assisted a Klingon vessel.

"Lieutenant Reed run continuous long range sensors sweeps." Captain Archer ordered. He knew he might still be wanted as a fugitive by some on Qo'noS.

"Already running them, sir. Started when the problem with the motion sensors came up." He'd been running a series of sensors sweeps, but now he would add a couple more just to be on the safe side where the Klingons were concerned.

"Carry on." Archer shook his head as he sat back down in his chair. Lieutenant Reed had developed his own way of protecting the ship. He hadn't verbally told the Captain about the scans, but Archer knew there was a line or two in one of his written reports informing him.

"Captain, perhaps we should reconsider the modifications to the sensors at this time?" T'Pol beat Trip to this request.

"You might be right. Shutting down any systems with Klingons in the area might not be the best plan." Archer contemplated the idea. "Put the upgrades on hold until further notice."

----

"Tactical alert all hands report to you stations."

Trip jumped up when T'Pol shook him. The alert registered and training took over as he pulled on the sweats he'd left on back of the chair when they went to bed earlier. His shirt was no where in sight. He grabbed a clean one out of the closet in the bathroom and he snagged T'Pol's warmest robe on his way out. She had slip on shoes waiting for him at the door, having already slipped her own feet into her slippers.

When they stepped into the corridor they were met with several crewmen sleepily moving through the corridors on the way to their stations while attempting to dress themselves. Hoshi entered the turbo lift in her robe while Malcolm showed up zipping up his uniform.

When the lift opened to the bridge the Captain was speaking to the Captain of a Klingon Bird of Prey. The tactical alert had been quieted, but the weapons systems were still online, but not targeted. Sensing no emergency and knowing that the Captain would have begun issuing orders if they were needed, the senior staff stood behind the tactical station rather than take over from the night crew.

"When was the last transmission received from your patrol ship?" Archer asked the Klingon Captain.

"According to the outpost the last communication was 7 days ago. Sensors place them within 1 light year of the K-7 station 2 days later."

"Several of our stations have been out of communication and we were sent out here to see what the problem is. Have you found anything that might be helpful in determining where we should look first?"

"Our sensors have picked up Romulan warp signatures, but we have not seen any ships." Not seeing them didn't mean they weren't cloaked nearby.

"Bloody hell. Romulans and Klingons." Malcolm let his words slip out in a whisper.

Trip elbowed Reed. "Makes for some pretty scary nightmares, huh." The Klingons ship missing and the Romulans being in the area made it very unlikely that this was going to be a routine case of repairing subspace buoys or communications arrays.

T'Pol sent her disapproval to Trip about the same time Archer turned and gave both men his shut up or else look. "You're welcomed to come along to K-7 to see if we can find any sign of your ship and crew."

"We will of course need to accompany you to the station."

"We'll be in orbit in 12 hours. We can determine our best course of action then." There had been no communication and there were no life signs on the station. Hundreds of people were missing.

"I'll expect to hear from you in 12 hours then." The Klingon said as the transmission ended abruptly.

Archer noted the lack of courtesy all Klingons showed. Turning to look over his shoulder where the senior staff were all standing. "Sorry to have gotten you all out of bed. Someone....." Archer's eyes were directed at the very young Ensign at the tactical station, ..."got a little jumpy and activated the alert. Go get some sleep and we'll talk about the away mission in the morning. 09:00 in the ready room."

Having returned to their quarters Trip couldn't stop tossing around in bed. "Darlin, I can't sleep. Maybe we could do some neuro-pressure."

"I am unable to sleep either. Neuro-pressure might relax us enough to return to sleep." T'Pol moved and began applying pressure to Trip's back.

Feeling the tension release from his neck Trip voiced his thoughts. "Something about this whole mission's starting to make me uneasy. Why would Romulans be causing trouble way out here?" Cutting off communication to a bunch of stations on the border of the quadrant produced no strategic gains for anyone. Involving the Klingons made even less sense.

"We will not know anything until tomorrow. Let's get some rest." T'Pol said as Trip became aware that the pressure she was applying was not relaxing him in the least. In fact it had much more of a stimulating effect.

The bond pulsed. "Are you trying to tell me something, darlin?" There was no doubt about her intentions as she began to kiss the back of his neck and down his spine.

"I believe I have a much better way to relax. Do you have any objections?" She continued knowing his answer.

"Relax us anyway you want." The desire coming through the bond quickly overloaded his senses and all thoughts of sleep were gone.

----

"We've lost all communications, except to the Klingons, sir." Hoshi reported as she continued to try sending a transmission.

"Ensign Sato get me Captain Grek and Lieutenant Reed go to tactical alert." _Enterprise_ hadn't been able to reach the station, but had been able to contact Starfleet just two hours ago to update them on the situation.

"Captain Grek for you, sir." Hoshi opened the transmission and the Klingon's face appeared on the vid screen.

"Captain, we've lost all communications, except with your ship and our sensors show no life signs on the station. We've gone to tactical alert, may I suggest you do the same." Having the Klingons weapons online wasn't something Archer wanted, but they needed to be prepared in case of an attack.

"Our communications should be able to reach our outpost, but they are no longer responding." Three light years should be no problem for the Klingons ship without the need for any subspace buoys or boosting of the signal.

"We've found a docking port we can operate manually. Once our shuttle is secured they'll open a docking port for yours. My Science Officer will send the coordinates. We'll meet you there in 30 minutes."

Archer ordered. "Commander Tucker, go get your tool kit. Meet Commander T'Pol and Lieutenant Reed in shuttle bay one. Malcolm get three of your people to go with you. You've got 30 minutes so let's get going."

Trip went to retrieve his tools from Engineering, complaining loudly. "_T'Pol you need to stay here until we see what's wrong. The Captain said you weren't going on away missions until we knew you'd be safe." _Trip couldn't argue the point with Jon without raising questions about why it was any of his concern and he knew T'Pol wouldn't, but he tried to convince her anyway.

"_You and Malcolm will both be there." _T'Pol would rather go than let the Captain go. There were Klingons who weren't happy about his escape from their penal colony. And then there was the fact that Trip was going. She always felt better if she went on away missions with him. It was less likely he'd get hurt.

"_Something just doesn't feel right." _That uneasy feeling in Trip's gut hadn't gone away. He'd never be able to get T'Pol to believe in his gut feelings, but he'd learned to pay attention to them. It saved his life on many occasions.

Trip managed to get the manual override to work in the docking bay after several attempts. As the away team exited the pod T'Pol began scanning for signs of life. Malcolm and Trip found the controls for the docking bay next door opening it to let the Klingons land their shuttle.

By the time the door to the Klingon shuttlepod opened Trip had managed to look as stoic as T'Pol did. Malcolm was impressed as he'd listened to his friend's tantrum regarding trusting the Klingons and T'Pol being with them, since undocking from _Enterprise_.

After several minutes of discussion Malcolm gave the Klingon's Commander Krejal a communicator and the two teams split up, heading off in opposite directions. At the end of the corridor Malcolm and his team went to the left and Trip and T'Pol went right. The tricorders was picking up energy signatures in both directions. Malcolm's team followed the readings down the corridor to the cargo bays. After several unsuccessful attempts to open the doors a phase pistol was used to try to burn through the locks.

Meanwhile, Trip heard a noise coming from a small room off the corridor leading to the control room. As T'Pol continued to move forward Trip quietly entered the room. Before his eyes had fully adjusted to the darkness an arm reached out and grabbed him from behind. Immediately he felt a presence in his mind searching through his thoughts and memories. Training with T'Pol made raising his shields to protect himself a mechanical response. His arms shot up to loosen the hold as he stepped forward with his left foot. Ignoring the stab he felt in his side he drove his right elbow into the chest of his attacker as he dropped his body low and turned himself around taking the weapon from his attacker's hand and jamming the sharp end into his stomach. Face to face Trip initially believed he was fighting with a Vulcan until his face became visible. When the weapon dropped to the floor Tucker smashed the palms of his hands up into the throat of the assailant throwing him backwards. As the lights came on Trip raised his weapon and the body dematerialized. T'Pol stood in the doorway. Trip's shields dropped bringing intense pain from his connection to her. The suddenness of closing his mind off caused her great distress.

"Are you alright, T'Pol?" Trip moved closer. Wanting to hold her, but knowing she wouldn't be comfortable if he did, he stopped short of touching her.

She touched his arm with her two fingers. The physical connection would help to alleviate their pain as their bond would be reestablished quicker. She wanted to hold her mate also, but would not allow herself to indulge the urge while on duty. "I'm experiencing pain. Why did you use your shields?"

"Whoever attacked me was telepathic. He felt our bond. I think he tried to find who I was bonded to." Trip closed his eyes, taking in deep cleansing breaths. Trying to focus on making the pain stop. "He looked a lot like a Vulcan, but he wasn't."

"Tucker to Lieutenant Reed."

"Reed here."

"We've encountered an intruder. He transported somewhere." Trip's head was pounding now and he wanted nothing more than to get some sleep. Focus and breath kept running through his head.

"We'll keep our eyes open. Stay out of trouble." Malcolm's anxiety level jumped and he became more alert.

"We're trying. Let the Klingons know and find out what they've found. We'll contact you once we get to the control room."

Trip then let T'Pol see in the attack in his mind. Wiping off his hands he saw the blood on them was green. "Are there Vulcans on some other planet somewhere?"

T'Pol froze up inside. The ramifications of this revelation could be disastrous throughout the quadrant. "There are ancient stories, but they are thought to be untrue." T'Pol tried to recall the stories she'd heard as a child. "We must proceed with caution."

They needed to know if that was a Romulan or some other race that may be related to Vulcans. "We'll talk about it before we decide what to do. Let's do what we came here for." He'd interrupted the intruder before he completed the rigging of an explosive device. The engineer decided to leave this for the Tactical Officer as he didn't often get to order him to prevent something from blowing up.

In the control room T'Pol found power being rerouted to a large metal box near what appeared to be the main controls. Trip pried it open. "How is it we keep finding species with portable dampening fields all over the Alpha quadrant, but we haven't snagged one before now?" The invaders, several light years away, who'd tortured T'Pol, Phlox, and the Captain had a similar device.

"I do not know. Once we disconnect this one we will be able to transport it to _Enterprise_. You and Lieutenant Reed will have something to play with." Teasing him yes, but T'Pol had begun to see that Trip was running out of things he could improve upon on _Enterprise_.

"Just because I find my work relaxing sometimes doesn't mean it's play. It's technology we need, especially if this came from the Romulans." It would help level the field if they ended up at war with them.

"Reed to Commander Tucker."

"Tucker here."

"Commander, I believe we've found the civilians in the cargo bays, but we have been unable to get the doors to unlock."

"I'll come look as soon as I can. We need you to come take care of a bomb while we disconnect the dampening field we found."

Commander Tucker left Malcolm with the explosives when he arrived. T'Pol had traced all the lines running into the device and had begun disconnecting them. Reed ran when he heard a piercing scream he was sure came from Tucker. He found him attempting to get across the control room holding his arms around his midsection and calling for T'Pol. The Lieutenant held Trip upright until his chest stopped heaving.

The minute Trip saw T'Pol against the far wall his adrenaline kicked in and he rushed to her side. He knew she was conscious, but in pain. He could see burns on her hands and arms and blood coming from a cut on the back of her head. When he touched her cheek he felt the discomfort of the bruises forming where her body had made the most impact with the wall.

T'Pol looked up at Trip. The pain through the bond had abated. T'Pol was actively blocking it from him and he knew it, but let her do what she thought she needed to. It only served to give her something to concentrate on so she herself could ignore the pain until she could muster the strength to get her pain and emotions under control.

"You really need to stop doing this to me. I'm the one who gets hurt on these missions, not you." Trip preferred to be the injured one. He could handle his own pain much better than he could deal with T'Pol being hurt. Ironically, T'Pol had the same thought about him getting hurt.

Trying to lighten his mood a bit. "I believe I discovered why these devices have not been found before." She could see the inside of the container that enclosed the device. The electrical charge that had been released when she reached to break the last connection caused an explosion that melted and fused the inner workings into a solid usable mass. Had she been touching the wiring at the time she would have received enough of a charge to stop her heart instantly. Instead the force sent her flying across the room.

"Next time could you demonstrate your discoveries without hurting yourself." Trip could feel her attempts to make him feel better. It didn't work, but he'd let her try.

Malcolm watched as the two Commanders tried to maintain a professional demeanor. Trip had been able to keep the worry off his face, but not out of his eyes or body language. T'Pol's face was blank, but her eyes were far from it. "You two aren't acting very professional. Get it out of your system before anyone else joins us." Reed gently reminded them. He hoped the lapse was only because they knew he was the only one present.

"Tucker to _Enterprise_."

"Archer here."

"Captain, you need to transport T'Pol to sickbay."

"How bad is she?" Archer was concerned that his first officer had been injured again.

"She's got burns on her hands and arms, possible concussion, cuts and bruises. She'll be okay."

"How's everyone else?"

"We're fine. We haven't seen the Klingons since we separated, but we think we've located the civilians."

"The transporter is ready." Malcolm stood next to T'Pol.

"Okay, go." Trip moved away from T'Pol and looked to Malcolm as he continued his report to the Captain. "We need to go open the cargo bay doors. If hundreds of people are crammed in those bays they'll want out as soon as possible. We'll be in touch once we have them out."

Trip worked on the locking mechanisms trying to open the bay doors all the while cursing Malcolm for using his phase pistol on them. Pulling wires out trying to determine which ones he might be able to connect to allow the lock to function. After a dozen attempts while groaning from the slices in his skin as the jagged edges of the metal cut into his fingers, his temper got the best of him. Smacking the wall he practically growled at Malcolm. "You get to explain to these people why we had to cut holes in the doors, and they have to replace them as well as the locks." The phase pistol had caused so much damage it was impossible for the engineer to cross wire the unit. "Shooting things isn't always the answer." He removed the cutting torch from his tool kit.

Reed waited until Trip had calmed himself. "She'll be fine, Trip."

"I know that." The doc wasn't done scanning so he couldn't feel her. It was physically painful when they had to totally block out the bond, but it also hurt when they were too far apart. This was supposed to get better with time, but it hadn't improved yet. Trip was beginning to think his human brain wasn't quite up to the challenge of a mating bond the way a Vulcans would be. T'Pol only suffered during their separations because he did.

"Are you ready to get these people out of there?" Malcolm tried to redirect his attention.

"You really have to stop trying to shoot your way through things. And if you're not going to listen to me at least do it right." If he'd used the phaser to cut the lock out instead of cutting holes through it the door would be opened already.

"I'll try to be more considerate in the future." Patience wasn't one of his best qualities, but he could try.

"Mal, do you still have any contacts in Section 31?"

Distressed at the question Malcolm searched Trip's face. "Why?"

"Could you find out what they know about the Romulans? From what you've told me they usually know more than the rest of us."

"I might be able to ask some questions. What exactly do you want to know?" The former spy still had contact with a couple of his former associates.

"I don't want you to do anything if it will cause problems for you. I know you don't want to get mixed up with them again, but if you can discretely make some inquiries I'd appreciate it." How much should he say? "If I need you to could you see if they know where they came from? What they look like?"

Malcolm noticed the cut in Trip's side, but hadn't asked where he got it. "Is there something you haven't told me?"

"I saw who attacked me It might have been a Romulan, but I can't say anything until I talk to..." Who? He needed to talk to the Vulcans. See if they had any information on the Romulans. "..I guess I need to talk to the Vulcans, but I don't know who."

"You think the Romulans have something to do with the Vulcans?"

"I don't know, but it's possible. Don't do anything until we talk to T"Pol. She'll know who we can ask." If the Romulans were related to the Vulcans why hide that fact? Do the Vulcans know about them? If they are related why were they so aggressive? Vulcans may have been less passive under V'Las, but they weren't out to conquer the universe. None of this made sense.

"You're going to leave out that you saw your attacker?" Malcolm wasn't sure if he was comfortable with that.

"We should be able to confirm it was a Romulan. My description wouldn't help do that anyway. Until we know what the fallout could be I'd like to keep it quiet." He hadn't mentioned the telepathy. Trip had to make himself stop thinking about this until later. One question lead to ten more.

"I'll keep quiet until we can talk about it." The tactical officer had a duty to report this to the Captain because it affected _Enterprise_ and Starfleet, but he would give his friends a chance to explain their reservations. If Trip was considering asking him to contact Section 31 knowing how he felt about his past dealings with them there must be something he was missing here.

The Klingons arrived in the corridor demanding assistance freeing the crew of the patrol ship immediately. They'd found the ship locked in one of the docking bays down one level on the other side of the station. The crew remained locked in the bay with explosives rigged to the locking mechanism on the door. Evidently the Klingons lacked the expertise to disable the bomb.

Trip listened to their insistent demands that someone assist them. He swallowed hard as he pushed the anger aside. Get yourself together Tucker. Where's all that Vulcan control you've been practicing for weeks when you really need it? T'Pol will be upset if you're not acting like an officer. He forced a false sense of calm into his voice. "Commander Krejal if you can wait a few minutes Lieutenant Reed will go with you to rescue your crew."

The Commander didn't respond with anything but a grunt of sorts. Malcolm continued to pull on the metal where the engineer had cut through to make a large opening in the first cargo bay door. He and two security crewman entered the bay first. The Klingons went to the other bay door and began pulling the metal back to Trip's amazement. He was sure they hadn't helped out of anything other than self-interest, but he thanked them as he entered the bay.

The closest thing Trip could think of to compare the feel of the air to was a local pet store he had visited often as a kid. Added to that was the smell of humans packed in a small, warm, moist space for several days without food and water. He contacted _Enterprise_ requesting anyone with medic training be sent down to assist with these people.

After a long day of repairing the most immediate damage done to the Control Center Commander Tucker finally made his way back to _Enterprise_. Slightly dazed he stumbled into sickbay in search of T'Pol. The connection to her mind had been reestablished hours ago, but he needed to touch her. Pushing back his emotions and his need for his mate had taken it's toll. He hardly noticed the doctor's hands tending to the wound in his side and cuts on his hands. T'Pol was not here. He began to search for her in the bond. Letting her move from the back to the front of his mind. She had gone to her quarters and had kept that from him, knowing he would worry less if he thought she were in sickbay under the watchful eye of Phlox.

He looked down at his chest. The doc must be done. "I'm going to get some sleep Doc, see you later." Trip said without thinking as he left sickbay.

When the door to their quarters slide shut T'Pol felt the floodgate of his repressed emotions burst open. They pounded at his psyche. His body ached from the physical exertion of the day, but the mental exertion had taken a much greater toll on him. Pushing his emotions back so he could do what he needed to do all day would have been difficult on its own. The added strain of T'Pol's injuries, losing the bond while Phlox scanned her, being out of physical contact for several hours and so far apart required every ounce of energy he had to ignore the bond and his own needs.

T'Pol led him to the shower. When she reached to turn on the water he saw the bandages and burns on her hands and arms. He knew she couldn't get them wet. Phlox wouldn't be able to treat them with his ointments until tomorrow and until then they had to stay clean and dry.

Caring for him would only cause more pain and risk infection. This shook him out of his stupor. "Darlin, I can do this myself. Go rest and I'll join you when I'm clean."

T'Pol reluctantly left him to his shower. She could feel his internal struggle. He was physically more fatigued than she had ever seem him. She also sensed he was psychologically and emotionally exhausted. Probing their bond she became aware that her mate had learned to hide things from her. She caught pieces of thoughts as they flicked across his conscious mind. Fear for her and of the Romulans. Disillusionment with life. To find what caused these worrisome thoughts T'Pol would need to delve farther into his mind, but she wouldn't do this without asking first. She would wait and speak to him.

As she laid out cushions and prepared the room for neuro-pressure she felt a jab of pain, for mere seconds. Focusing her mind on the source she was startled to discover that Trip had subconsciously been taking on some of her pain and lending her his strength. It must have begun as soon as the bond was reestablished in Sickbay. Being distracted with keeping her shields up and the bond flowing smoothly allowed his mind to secretly aid her. Her own concentration had been on controlling her pain and not distracting Trip so it had gone undetected until he became to drained to maintain uninterrupted control.

The water flowed over his tired, aching body washing the smell and filth of the day off. If only it could remove it from all his senses. Letting go and allowing the relaxing effects of the water to ease the tension in his mind and body Trip felt a jolt in the deepest part of him, as if it had momentarily lost its grasp on something very important. An overpowering sense of protectiveness towards T'Pol inundated his being.

T'Pol felt his need. His instinct was to protect and care for her with total disregard for anyone and anything else. Humans acted on instinct from what Trip had explained as their subconscious. Vulcan training had taught her that examining each and every action with logic prevented one from acting without thought. She had studied this idea of subconscious but found the idea of a mind acting without conscious thought to be dangerous, especially for Vulcans who must be in control. She had no way to prevent something she did not understand. The only thing left to do was to give him time to rest and re-energize himself.

Examining this inherent need to keep his mate safe and well cared for brought a new understanding of how this bond worked. His mind often acted without conscious thought where T'Pol was concerned. These actions were outside of the bond, a part of the man he was before he met the Vulcan. The bond acted on the wants and needs of the bondmates based on their emotions, dreams(which was the subconscious attempting to bring things into one's awareness) and thoughts on a conscious level. And Trip was beginning to believe the strength of the bond was drawn from the strength of the emotions that allowed it to be. He doubted T'Pol had come to this realization because Vulcans spent all their energy denying their emotions and would not wish to admit or discuss the emotional connection the bond represented. They felt it but they just couldn't say it in words. If they could, expressing emotions to their bondmate wouldn't be so difficult.

When he entered the room he saw her waiting ready to give him the care she could sense he needed. The impulse to argue because of her injured hands was squelched. He simply laid down and whispered a thank you and requested she be careful.

The door chime sounded. T'Pol threw a blanket over the sleeping body on the floor, covering his lack of clothing, so the assertion that he had fallen asleep from exhaustion during their neuro-pressure session could appear feasible.

The door opened. "May I come in T'Pol?"

"Of course, Malcolm." T'Pol stepped back allowing him to enter.

"I came to talk to you and Trip about...." His voice trailed off when he saw Trip sleeping before him.

She knew Trip had asked him to wait before discussing all the details of the day with Captain Archer, but Trip and T'Pol needed to talk first. "As you can see we will not be able to talk until Trip has rested. He returned suffering from exhaustion and we have not discussed the events of today."

"I don't know what he's afraid of, but something spooked him. All I know is it has something to do with Vulcans and Romulans. Has he told you anything?"

"I have picked up hints of what he's thinking about, but he has mastered keeping things from me very well. After he has slept for several hours and has a meal he will tell me what's wrong." She knew he would wake during the night. He rarely slept more than 6 hours at a time unless the doctor gave him a sedative. She already planned to slip out to the galley to retrieve dinner for them.

"Can we met for breakfast?" The sooner the better was Malcolm's thought. They'd already reported to the Captain and Trip did tell Archer everything, but that he'd seen the attacker. Reed needed to know why his friend felt it necessary to withhold that piece of information.

"Archer to Trip." The hand held by the bed sounded.

T'Pol looked down at the sleeping Trip. She did not want to wake him, but if the Commander did not answer the comm the Captain would worry and show up at his door.

Malcolm stepped over Trip, reached for the unit, and opened it. With a slight whisper to his voice. "Captain this is Lieutenant Reed. Trip and I were talking and he fell asleep."

"Is he alright?" Jon could just imagine. Trip often drove himself until he passed out from lack of sleep.

"Yes, Captain. I think he just needs a good night's sleep."

"I'll catch up with him in the morning, then." Archer had seen how worn out he was and Phlox said he left Sickbay in a daze.

"Goodnight Captain."

Trip began to stir. T'Pol knelt beside him and closed her eyes for a second as Malcolm looked on. He had observed them touching without her being aware, but now she massaged the inside of his wrist then stroked through his hair as she whispered softly into his ear. Whatever she was saying calmed him back to a restful sleep.

--

The room was dark when he woke. T'Pol was snuggled up to him in their makeshift bed on the floor. He remembered laying down. T'Pol had used her elbow to apply pressure to several points on his back. When she got to his shoulders there were two points that released an enormous amount of tension and then he must have fallen asleep. That was 5 hours ago. His stomach growled and he felt lightheaded due to lack of food. He hadn't eaten since breakfast the previous morning. Thoughts of the unappetizing offerings he could find in the galley told him he'd have to wait several more hours for breakfast. As he began pushing aside his hunger he heard T'Pol letting him know dinner was on the desk.

After their impromptu picnic, in the middle of the night, the couple cuddled together on the bed. T'Pol had been thinking of questions, when Trip began to talk.

"I understand why Vulcans don't talk about being telepathic. It would make too many people nervous if they knew Vulcans can read their minds. But why do they keep bonding a secret?" Trip had begun to formulate his own thoughts on Vulcan's lack of sharing.

"It is considered an intimate thing between parents and children or bondmates. My father told me it was also a matter of security. If it was known that Vulcans are bonded to their children and their spouses it could be used against them." Suddenly T'Pol understood Trip's concern.

"T'Pol we need to talk to somebody on Vulcan. If that was a Romulan then we have a big problem. He was telepathic and he knew about bonds and that means the Romulans know I'm bonded and it's not going to be too difficult for them to figure out to who."

T'Pol tried to look at this logically, but between her mates emotions and her own she found it difficult. "That puts us and _Enterprise_ at greater risk." She knew they would have to talk to someone connected to the High Council. "We need to contact Ambassador Soval."

"We need to speak to him face to face not over subspace. I know we can get secured transmissions, but I don't want any records and there are still too many ears out there." Section 31 came to mind. Malcolm told him they had gathered too much information on any number of people and issues that could not have come from normal channels. They had to be eavesdropping on private conversations and he was not going to take any chances with T'Pol's safety.

"I will have Ensign Sato contact him today. Do you wish to be present during our discussion." T'Pol already knew he would say yes, but asked anyway.

"Yeah, I want to see him when he answers a couple of my questions." Vulcans were known to be expressionless, but Trip had learned what body language they weren't so practiced at hiding. "We have to know if it's possible that Romulans are in the Vulcan family tree." Trip had the weapon the attacker had used. It had his blood on it, but it also had the attackers. If testing were needed to confirm the lineage then he wanted the DNA available.

T'Pol had all the same questions Trip had. "If Romulans are related to Vulcans why would they hide that fact? It would serve to plant the seeds of distrust between Vulcans and all other species." All they had learned of the Romulans said they were only interested in expanding their empire, so why not do whatever they could to destabilize the quadrant?

"I don't know, but until we know for sure what's going on, we need to be very careful. We'll have to tell Malcolm about this so he can be prepared." Being captured and tortured by the Romulans was not part of the future Trip wanted to think about.

"We are to have breakfast here with him. He stopped by earlier. The Captain thinks you fell asleep in your quarters while speaking with him." T'Pol explained about the Captain's call.

At breakfast Malcolm agreed to keep the quiet about Trip's encounter on K-7. If what he and T'Pol suspected were true and if the Romulans knew about Vulcan bonds then his job just got harder. He had to protect both of the Commanders without making it obvious.

--

Frustrated Trip complained. "_T'Pol I need you here. There has to be a better way to rewire this mess, but I need you to help me figure it out." _She always made his work easier when he needed to bounce ideas around or find alternate solutions.

"_The Doctor have determined that I must remain in my quarters for 2 more days and the Captain made it an order. We are on duty you should refer to me a Commander."_

"_You're not on duty."_

"_You are Commander Tucker; therefore; you must remain professional."_

He burst out laughing. "_I'm not going to be all formal and professional when I'm talking in my head." _She could be so damn exasperating at times. No one could hear... Irony. That's what Malcolm kept calling her humor.

The others in the room all looked at him with questioning eyes. "_Great, now they all think I'm losing my mind. Thanks darlin."_

"_You are very welcomed." _T'Pol teased.

"_Now that you've had your fun for the day I still need help." _There were no schematics to send her, so that was out.

She appreciated the fact that he would ask for her help and offered a suggestion. "_You can let me see what you are working on."_

"_What? How's that supposed to work?"_

"_I can see inside your mind and ..."_

He understood_. "I just need to visualize it in my head and project it to you like a memory."_ He tried to form a picture in his mind of the wiring mess in front of him and project it to her.

The strain on him was too much. "_Trip, stop for a minute. I need you to search deep within your mind and find a connection you have there with me."_ She knew she needed to make him aware of it soon anyway. Because he had been giving her some of his strength her wounds were healing faster than normal. If it continued she would have to come up with an explanation for the Dr. Phlox.

Why would he need to look for the bond it was right there? "_What connection?"_ Trip began to search through his own mind. Sure enough there it was. He knew it immediately. Some part of him felt it when he was in the shower, but had chosen to ignore it.

He'd found it, she knew. "_You must sever the connection. You have done all you can to help me with the pain."_ She had her control back now.

"_I don't know how to stop it."_ He hadn't knowingly started it, but really liked the idea that he acted without really knowing it.

"_Just concentrate on the flow of energy and redirect it back to you until it stops."_ This was how a healing trance worked. You directed the energy where you needed it to go and then you directed it back at itself when you needed it to return to normal.

As he did what she suggested he felt the energy return to his own body. Her pain spiked until she brought it under control. He again attempted to visualize the images and projected them to her.

----

The discussion with Ambassador Soval had been cryptic and short. Trip brought up their previous communication and the mission only to be interrupted by the Ambassador. Soval held his hand up and simply stated he had other obligations that needed his immediate attention and he would be in touch very soon. When the transmission ended the couple found they had more questions than they had before.

Two days later _Enterprise_ headed to the Deep Space Station 12. Malcolm was becoming anxious about completing the recalibration to his targeting sensors. The bridge crew was intently working on what had become their top priority again. T'Pol mentioned to both the chief engineer and tactical officer that the motion sensors had continued to consistently log the blips as before, until she picked up a Vulcan battle cruiser on long range sensors scans. The gut feeling of Trip's got stronger.

The chief engineer was in a forward Jeffries tube working on tweaking the sensors. He contorted his body around to see who had opened the door.

"Hey Hess, what's up? Did you get that diagnostic done?" Assuming she had come for a new assignment.

"Not yet, sir. Captain Archer wants you to met him in docking bay 2. Seems we have visitors."

Trip placed his tools back in the kit. "I'll finish this when I get back. Keep everyone out of... Is Billy free?"

"He just finished the adjustments you asked him to do. He's got that down, getting to be almost as quick as you."

"He's coming along. Gonna make a hell of an engineer. Send him over here and tell him to finish from where I left off." Trip had gotten about halfway through the adjustments. He wanted to see if the Ensign could determine where to start and if he would ask for assistance when he got to the part that only Trip could complete. Making on the fly changes was a trademark Tucker move and his engineers had to be confident enough to ask for help when they needed it.

On the way to the docking bay Trip felt T'Pol giving him a mental jab. He'd placed her and the bond to the back of his mind. She had something to tell him that couldn't wait and he hadn't responded to her normal attention getters.

"_T'Pol please stop smacking me."_

"_If you did not ignore me I would not have to 'smack' you, Commander." _

She seemed a little testy. Calling him Commander was a sure sign of something being wrong. "_Did I do something to make you mad?"_

"_No, Ambassador Soval is on the shuttle."_

He could feel her apprehension. "_What are you upset about?"_ It was usual for him to just stop by light years away from anything of interest to Vulcan. Maybe it was the fact that Vulcans would be boarding the ship. The bond. "_We have to shield them out."_ Trip started putting up some of his shields right then. No use taking the chance of projecting his thoughts in case they were close enough to hear them.

T'Pol listened to his conversation with himself. She found if she just waited his brain would catch up to his words and he'd answer his own questions. "_Once the doors open on the shuttle you will need to do as we have been practicing. There can be no communication through the bond unless there are no Vulcans in the same room." _The bulkheads would serve to block telepathic contact of non-bonded Vulcans.

"I know Commander." He slipped right up next to her as she passed the corridor he stood waiting for her in. "I'm ready." All their shields went up.

Captain Archer joined them in the docking bay. "T'Pol do you know what Soval wants?"

She had no idea, but the Ambassador made it to _Enterprise_ in 2 days. "The Ambassador does not confide in me regarding his duties. Captain." If this visit had anything to do with their communication with him, what official reason would he give Captain Archer?

Soval stepped out of the pod followed by Captain Talvan and Sub Commander Sagorn. His hand formed the ta'al. "Live long and prosper, Captain Archer." He turned the Commanders. "Live, long and prosper, Commander Tucker and Commander T'Pol."

Both Commanders returned the ta'al with the standard 'peace and long life' while Archer responded with 'nice to see you Ambassador'.

"Captain, I have much to discuss with you and your staff. Would it be an imposition if I were to remain aboard until I have concluded my business here?"

"I'll have Commander T'Pol take you to your quarters. I'll call a staff meeting in 2 hours if that's all right. I'm afraid I have a scheduled call with Admiral Gardner." Did Gardner know Soval was here? That must be why he was calling.

As if he heard the unasked question. "Tell the Admiral I will return to the Consulate in 3 days for our meeting."

The Captain headed back to the bridge leaving Trip and T'Pol with Soval. "Ambassador, if you don't mind I'll walk along with you and T'Pol."

Not wanting to speak in the open corridors. "I need to speak to both of you. I will come to Commander T'Pol's quarters this evening after dinner."

"Okay, then I'm going to go back to Engineering." Looking to T'Pol. "Commander could you have someone remind me before the meeting starts." T'Pol had gotten into the habit of giving him a reminder of the time when he was concentrating on some task at work and there was somewhere he was supposed to be. Without the bond she would have to comm him or his staff. Leaving them meant he could relax some of his shields. Keeping them all up was not like keeping some of them up to keep things to himself. He didn't have years of practice to make it an effortless undertaking like the Vulcans did.

The staff meeting went well. The Vulcan High Council sent various reports of Romulan activity and sensor blips, similar to the one's _Enterprise_ had been experiencing, believed to be connected to the Romulans. After dinner Trip and T'Pol went to their quarters to meditate and await Soval's arrival.

The chime sounded and Trip felt as if someone reached inside his chest and grabbed hold. Trying to breath he wrapped his arms tighter around T'Pol. "It's alright darlin, relax." Fear hit with such force it startled him. "I'll get the door and you calm down." As he answered the door he put his shields back up.

Ambassador Soval stepped into the room. "Good Evening Commanders."

"Evening Ambassador." Trip answered back. T'Pol who was standing ramrod straight with her hands tightly clasped behind her back with her stoic face on only nodded to the guest. Trip offered Soval a seat and tea before he sat down on the bed.

T"Pol considered the other chair in the room before she also sat on the bed. Not knowing how else to cut through the tension in the room Trip opened his mouth and started talking.

"Ambassador, there a a couple of things we need to discuss, but before I begin I need your word...." He had no basis on which to ask for his word. Normally he would ask based on friendship or if he were a doctor he'd used his oath, but he was a Vulcan Ambassador. "...Well we need you to keep some of what we have to tell you private."

"I cannot give you my word until I know to what you are referring."

Trip decided to jump right in. "This is going to sound like a strange request, but I need you to drop your shields." The reaction was about what he'd expected. Shock registered from Soval, but it also came from T'Pol. "Not all your shields just the ones that what your thinking right now come through."

The Ambassador didn't know what to say. Trip had never seen him speechless before. "Commander, I do not think it wise to allow my thoughts to be heard by anyone at present."

Trip took that to mean he wasn't thinking anything nice at the moment, but he pressed on anyway. "Can you read my mind without touching me Ambassador?"

oval thought him rude, but also wanted to know where this line of questioning was headed. "From your question am I to understand that you are aware of Vulcans mental abilities?" He gave T'Pol a severe look as he asked.

Trip dropped his own shields. "If you'd do as I ask you'd have your answer." Challenging the Vulcan to comply.

Soval relaxed his barriers. He was not a strong telepath, but being this close he could hear Tuckers thoughts. Then he felt the Commander tug at his mind. Not invasively, but just enough to let Soval know he was there before he left. "You are a telepath Commander?" Vulcans believed Humans were incapable of forming telepathic connections.

"I seems I am. Kinda surprised me too." "_Darlin can he hear us talk to each other?"_

"_No, but he will feel the connection between us." _No Vulcan could hear their words. They could only feel the connection like a vibration in the room.

Soval felt their bond. Looking to his Vulcan protege'. "Are you bonded to him?"

"Yes." T'Pol dropped her eyes.

Soval knew they were close by watching the Commanders increasing use of Vulcan techniques of meditation and relaxation and he'd suspected they were closer than friends, but having it confirmed was still a shock. A Human and Vulcan as bondmates. "Does anyone else know of this?"

Trip saw his mate's reluctance to discuss their bond. "Lieutenant Reed and Dr. Kievel are the only ones who know. Malcolm because he's our friend and the tactical officer and the Doctor you know about."

Looking directly at T'Pol again Soval inquired. "Did you seek to form this bond?"

Discussing the bond was one thing, but invading what T'Pol considered private between them was another. "The details of our bond are private. We're bonded and that's all we're going to say about it." Trip stated forcefully.

The Ambassador was impressed that this young man would so adamantly protect his mate and her culture. "You are correct your bond is private, but there must be some reason you found it necessary to inform me of it."

"First, we need to know what you and the High Council know abut the Romulans. Like where did they come from? What do they look like?"

"Why would you think we know anymore than you do about them?" Soval did know more, but he needed to understand why these two wanted to know.

"If you read our report you know I was attacked on K-7." Soval had read the report and nodded in the affirmative. "I left out one important detail. When I first saw his face and ears I thought he was Vulcan. Then I saw the ridges on his forehead, which said he probably wasn't a Vulcan, but maybe he's a distant cousin." Trip watched his reaction.

The report did not mention seeing the attackers face. "So you think this attacker was a Romulan and may be related to Vulcans?"

"That's what we need you to tell us, if you know."

"The Commander felt it necessary to protect Vulcans if this is true as the ancient stories suggest." T'Pol finally joined the discussion.

"There is much we have recently learned of the Romulans." Soval told them of the recent discoveries of Romulans posing as Vulcans on their home world. V'Las had been working with a Romulan named Valdore. They are the descendants of a group of Vulcans who separated from Vulcans thousands of years ago, in a desire to retain their aggressive nature.

"If they're related then why hide that fact?"

"We do not know why they hide their appearance. We only know they wish to conquer this quadrant and reunify our two peoples." The goals of the Romulans had been the subject of many discussions amongst the High Council.

Trip could accept that. The Romulans were more secretive than the Vulcans. "Well then our other problem is that this Romulan was telepathic. When he touched me I felt him in my mind trying to find out about our bond until my shields went up."

"Did he discover who your bondmate was?" Concern became evident in his eyes.

"No, he didn't, but how hard is it going to be for them to figure that out. There's only one Vulcan on _Enterprise_. If they know that then it makes us targets."

Soval considered his statement for a minute. "I assume you're worried for your safety and that of your crew."

"Yes, but mostly I'm worried about T'Pol. I won't let anything happen to her, but I'd like to keep us both safe without discussing telepathy or bonds or anything else Vulcans consider private and intimate." He remembered another question he had. "By the way if Romulans are telepaths why did they need Gareb or the Aenars to pilot those drone ships?"

"From what we've been able to discover about the Romulans they are xenophobic and very loyal to their own kind. They may kill themselves to keep from being captured to protect their Empire, but they would not harm another Romulan citizen and bring about their eventual death that way. It's possible that they are only touch telepaths as many of their ancestors empathic and telepathic abilities have been lost over the years, but that they knew enough to develop such technology and seek a being with much stronger telepathy." Over generations their biology would alter itself to eliminate the unused abilities, leaving smaller and smaller numbers of those with any telepathic tendencies each generation.

"So what now? We have some answers but there are still a lot of questions." Trip was really worried as to why every conversation about the Romulans made that feeling in his gut grow stronger?

"I will honor your request and keep news of your bond to myself." The Ambassador knew there were decisions the Commanders were going to face very soon, but he also realized they knew this also. There was no advice he could offer without asking too many personal questions of the pair. They knew the dangers and would have to act accordingly. "Until we understand their motives we must keep Vulcans ties to the Romulans quiet and you must find your own path through the many problems you may face." The High Council had already begun to conceal their infiltration of Vulcan society as much as possible. They could not afford to lose the support of the already weakened Coalition of Planets if there was to be a war.

Ambassador Soval returned to the quarters assigned to him. After meeting with Captain Archer the next day he boarded the shuttlepod and left.

Once the goodbyes were over Commander Tucker sat in his office waiting for a transmission he had asked Hoshi to arrange.

"Trip Tucker, I haven't heard from you in months." The Commander was surprised to be hearing from his old friend. Trip hadn't been in touch since he transferred to Columbia and he always sent written messages. They hadn't spoken in 2 years.

"Sorry about that Scott. It's been a rough few months. I hear you're in R&D now." Lieutenant Commander Scott Nielson had been a friend since their days at Starfleet. They were in engineering and became fast friends. Scott chose to stay planet side as he liked having his feet firmly on solid ground.

"I've ranked out and Mags wants another baby, so I needed to make the move to bump up the pay scale. So what do you need?" Trip must need a special favor or he would have just written.

"You always were the get to the point kind of guy. I need you to do some investigating for me. See what you can find out about any opportunities I might be interested in on Earth." Trip knew his friend had the connections in Starfleet to find out for him.

"I thought you were happy out there in space? Wanted to see new worlds and meet new people." Scott had been there when Trip got his commission to _Enterprise_. He'd been on top of the world.

"I like it out here, but things change. I need to know what my options are." He couldn't tell him anymore. "Just see if there's room for me in any of the warp drive development teams."

"Should I keep your name out of it or can I say who's interested?" Commander Nielson could find out, but if he could say who he was inquiring for it would make it so much easier.

"Be discrete. I haven't said anything to Jon and I really don't want to unless I'm ready to leave." He hadn't spoken to T'Pol either. He didn't even know if she'd want to go to Earth. Maybe she'd prefer to stay on _Enterprise_ or go to Vulcan.

"Got it. How is Jon these days. I haven't heard from him in two years. You guys went into the expanse and that was it." Trip had kept in touch writing at least once a month. Didn't say much, beyond what could be found in the reports to Starfleet, but he had kept in touch.

"He's better, but he's still not good. I've tried to help him, but I can't. We're not as close as we used to be."

"I told you what would happen when you decided to ship out with him as your superior officer. What was it you said? We've been friends for years, we'll be fine."

"You were right. He can't be my Captain and my best friend at the same time. If the Xindi hadn't attacked we might have pulled it off, but that changed everything." Trip got a far away look in his eyes. That's why he was so adamant about this. He could not lose anybody else.

"How are your folks? I saw them last year at the memorial service in Florida. They didn't look as if they'd gotten over Lizzie's death." The dark circles under their eyes and almost robotic movement the whole time they were there told him they were still mourning her loss.

"We don't talk about her. I haven't talked to them since the service for Elizabeth. It's taken me a while to deal with everything and you're right they still haven't let Lizzie go." He'd been out of touch because he wasn't ready to tell them about T'Pol. They would accept her, but they needed time to be a couple without having to define or defend themselves.

"Well you seem better." Scott heard someone interrupt Trip.

"I am better. Hey, Scott I have to go. One of my guys needs help with some of my modifications."

"Yeah, I remember what it's like trying to work on something that you redesigned." Trip Tucker changed specs all the time, but never wrote them down. Some things never change, and in this case it was probably better that it didn't. Starfleet came to the point of seeing that if Trip had to spend time documenting his work he'd never have time to brainstorm some of his most innovative ideas and warp engines would never have gotten past warp 4. "I'll be in touch." The transmission ended.

Trip went with Ensign Billy Rivers to help him complete the sensors tweaks.

_Enterprise_ made several stops at the space stations Starfleet had assigned them to visit. The communication problems had disappeared, but they were ordered to continue and survey the area as they went. Trip and T'Pol had been working with several Vulcan engineers via the comm link to work out what the blips on their motion tracking sensors were. Because several ships had reported the same phenomenon it was determined the cause was not a system failure or glitch. Ambassador Soval convinced the High Command that working on the problem together was the best route to finding a solution. That they agreed was a pleasant surprise for the chief engineer. He enjoyed having fresh perspectives when problem-solving and he also found he had developed as easy camaraderie with his Vulcan counterparts. Vulcans still had too much classified and hidden from the Humans, but an engineer was still an engineer no matter what his species. And whether they showed it or not many of them did have a sense of humor behind all that emotional control. It helped that he had acquired a new perspective regarding Vulcans, since becoming involved with T'Pol.

Captain Archer commed Trip to come see him immediately. When he entered the ready room the feeling in the air was chilly. The stern look on the Captain's face snapped the Commander to attention the minute the door closed behind him. He stood there silently waiting to see what had brought this mood about.

"Commander, Admiral Gardner has just informed me that word is you are looking to be transferred off _Enterprise_."

His heart dropped to his stomach. He turned slightly and banged his head against the wall. "Damn, Damn, Damn." T'Pol is going to kill me came first, then came Jon is pissed right behind it. T'Pol should be here for this, but I.... "I'm sorry Captain I'll be back there's something I have to take care right now." Trip exited the room in search of T'Pol leaving his captain sitting at his desk asking himself if he should have Malcolm find his wayward chief engineer and escort him back here.

When Trip stepped on to the bridge looking at the science station he already knew she wasn't there. She had been working with Malcolm on repairing a sensor in the command center. Reed for the first time had no active repairs, modifications, or requests for the armory or tactical stations, so he volunteered to assist her. Locating her through their bond the young man went to speak to her, all the way there trying to decide how best to approach her. The minute she saw him she knew something was amiss.

"Commander, is there a problem?"

"You might say that. We need to talk."

"We are on duty Commander, we can talk later."

"No, T'Pol we need to talk now and not here." Speaking through the bond was not private when they were both bound to get emotional and this conversation would most definitely make her emotional.

Trip walked down the corridor to a small room. T'Pol followed closing the door as she entered.

"Darlin, I'm sorry but I've done something and the Captain found out. I contacted a friend back on Earth..... I know I should have told you about it, but I wanted to wait until I knew if there was a possibility before I talked to you. This friend must have asked the wrong person questions and now Admiral Gardner knows."

T'Pol stood there listening to his rambling trying to piece together what he was trying to tell her. The only thing she had any clue about at the moment was that her bondmate was terrified she was going to be angry at him. "Trip."

"I'm really sorry T'Pol..."

"TRIP."

He looked up. "What?"

In an attempt to get him to refocus. "What did you do?"

"Well, I got really worried about the Romulans and I asked a friend to check around and see if there was a planetside warp drive position for me. I thought maybe we could transfer back to Earth or Vulcan, except I can't ask about anything on Vulcan. But if there aren't any jobs on Earth or you would rather go to Vulcan you can..." He verbal excursion ended when he realized nerves had taken over and he had no idea what he was saying.

"So you inquired about a possible transfer to Earth?"

He could hear all her unspoken questions. "Yes. I should have told you about what I've been thinking about. I planned on telling you, but now Jon is waiting to talk to me about this and I thought you should be there too."

"You wish to leave _Enterprise_?"

"We can talk about it, but yes I think I want to. I want more than this with you and a starship isn't safe at the best of times, but the Romulans make it an even a bigger risk than I'm willing to take with your life." If they were going to remain a ship of exploration staying would be acceptable for a while, but they both needed new challenges and while a secret romance was exciting in the beginning it got old real fast.

"You plan to tell Captain Archer of our relationship?"

If she wanted to stay where they were they couldn't tell him. "I guess that depends on what you want to do. I wish we could take the time to discuss this, but I just left Jon sitting there and came to talk to you."

"If you want to then we will leave, but we need to discuss where we are to go." T'Pol hadn't thought about where they would go after _Enterprise_ and to make a choice they would need time to study the possibilities. Why he chose to keep this from her was a matter for further discussion, but not now.

"Then we both go and talk to Jon and tell him about our relationship?"

"Yes." T'Pol turned and exited the room in the direction of the bridge.

Walking beside her Trip sought any feelings of anger or disappointment and found none. There were no signs of her suppressing her emotions and he was baffled. He'd expected her to be furious and do her version of yelling, which included withdrawing from the bond and giving him a hellacious headache. In the turbolift he extended his two fingers. When she reciprocated he quietly said "I'm really sorry."

Jonathon Archer had reached his boiling point. Just as he reached for the comm button to summon Lieutenant Reed the door chime sounded. "Come in."

Trip stepping though the doorway was expected, but T'Pol close behind was not.

"Sorry Captain. This conversation doesn't just involve me. T'Pol needs to be here too."

Archer had this sinking feeling in his stomach. "Is what Admiral Gardner heard true?"

"Yes, sir. I asked a friend to quietly make some inquiries for me about planetside positions with Starfleet."

"You want to transfer again? Do I get to know why this time?" Trip refused to say why he left for Columbia and he didn't say why he came back either.

"Well, a lot has changed in the last couple of years and...."

T'Pol could see another rambling explanation so she stepped in and took the direct approach. "Captain, the Commander, Trip and I have become involved and we find we can no longer perform our duties and remain in this relationship; therefore; we have decided it would be best if we were to leave _Enterprise_." She looked at her mate to see a grateful look in his eyes.

"You can't date and still maintain a professional relationship? You have been discrete, but I do know you've been involved for some time now and it hasn't been a problem."

"We aren't dating Jon. We're together." Trip clarified.

"What does that mean? You're together."

"It means we're in a permanent, lifelong relationship."

"Okay, so why can't you keep doing what you've been doing?" He was willing to pretend this conversation never happened.

"Because every time T'Pol goes on an away mission I can't think straight because I'm worried something is going to happen to her. I can't sleep and I don't eat because I miss her when she's not here." Trip wanted her as safe as possible.

Trip being overly emotional about a girlfriend wasn't unusual, but T'Pol wasn't emotional and she wasn't objecting to his sentiments. "You agree with him T'Pol?"

"It has become difficult for either of us to work when we are separated. My health is of great concern for both the Commander and myself. He has been severely injured or ill several times and we feel it would be best if we no longer worked in space." T'Pol told the truth, but left out the details.

"You're in love and want to get married?" Maybe he could get Starfleet to make an exception.

Trip glanced at T'Pol. "We haven't talked about a marriage ceremony. We just want to see what the possibilities are so we can decide what we want to do."

"What if I could get Starfleet to allow you to stay on board and get married?"

"It wouldn't change anything." Trip was frustrated that Jon didn't want to accept this.

"If you were married you could share quarters. You're the engineer you could remodel to make more room." When he said it he knew there was something he wasn't aware of, but refrained from asking.

Announcing they were living together like this seemed wrong, so Trip let it go for now. "Jon, we need to leave and I wanted to wait until we knew what we were doing before I talked to you. We just got back to being friends and I don't want to do anything to mess that up, but this is what we need to do. I hope you understand."

"I'll try Trip, but it's just not the same when you're not here." They hadn't been as close, but it was still better than when he transferred last time. There was still time to change their minds.

"I need a favor?" Trip felt a little guilty asking now, but he didn't see any other way.

"What?"

"I need you to keep our relationship to yourself for a while. If Starfleet finds out before we're ready it makes the chances of us getting transferred together less likely." Trip didn't know how they were going to manage this if they went to Earth, he just knew they needed to keep it a secret until they were settled somewhere.

When Jon agreed Trip assumed it was out of friendship, but Jon wanted him to stay on _Enterprise_ and that would be impossible once Starfleet got involved. He couldn't even imagine what would happen if the Vulcans got wind of this.

The bridge crew continued to work on increasing the sensitivity of the motion sensors to enhance their tracking and recording of the blips. Archer observed the previously un-emotional face of his chief engineer return to the expressive appearance he was accustomed to. There were no angry, over-exuberant outburst or any kind, but the happy, content smile had returned.

Admiral Gardner was upset that the Commander wanted to transfer off _Enterprise_. This meant he and Archer would have to find someone to replace him and the choices were limited to a group of Lieutenant Commanders who had no hands-on experience or putting Lieutenant Hess on a fast track for promotion. The two chose to ignore the problem and hope it would simply go away, but Trip refused to cooperate. He contacted Scott again relaying the news that he was looking for a planetside position openly.

Then everything changed. Captain Archer received a report from Starfleet command. The Romulans attacked and destroyed all of Starfleet's ship building stations in orbit or located on moons or planets near Earth. Earth formally declared themselves at war with the Romulans.

A/N: I started off intending to keep Trip and T'Pol on _Enterprise_. Some part of me must not believe they can stay aboard a ship at war and be bonded and in love.

Deep Space Station K-7 was home to one of my favorite original series episodes (The Trouble with Tribbles).


	5. Chapter 5

Healing to Your Life – Chapter 5

"Yes, yes, yes." Trip yelled as he jumped up and down pumping his fist into the air.

"You've gone completely daft haven't you." Malcolm Reed was closer to Trip Tucker than he'd ever been to another human being, but there were times when his sense of duty kicked in and understanding his friend became impossible.

The puzzled look on Malcolm's face left Trip confused. "What are you talking about?"

"You do know I just beat you?" Malcolm had been avoiding Trip for several days. When their regular Thursday night exercise time came up he almost didn't show up, but opted to confront him head on. Trip would expect no less. The current confusion stemmed from his being happy about losing. That was over the top even for Trip.

"Good game." Trip congratulated him. Winning was good, but not everything. "You do realize we just got through an entire game without getting smacked by that damnable piece of rubber once." This was an accomplishment, especially since Malcolm had been smashing the thing with everything he had.

His voice was more cheerful and teasing. "I thought you liked those welts? Gave you a reason to whine so T'Pol would do neuro-pressure." Malcolm saw the change in expression and knew his observation had the desired effect.

Trip let the comment go being more curious about Mal's mood. "Did I do something to make you mad? You've been whacking at that ball like you want to hurt someone and I may be wrong, but I get the feeling it's me."

There it was his opening and his anger came out with a loud bang. "You resigned? What the bloody hell is wrong with you? We're at war and you resigned." Not only had his best friend not told him, he heard it from Captain Archer, but he was abandoning everything he believed in.

"Yeah, they didn't give me any choice. They won't agree to my terms." The frustration he'd felt during the many hours of negotiation with Admiral Gardner and Admiral Casey was still there.

"You're going to just walk away? The Romulans have the advantage and whether they know it or not Starfleet needs you." The years they'd spent working together proved that to Malcolm. He thought Trip was the very best engineer, but he also had the people skills to demand the best from those under his command. His engineers would do anything he asked.

"Well, let's hope Starfleet sees it that way. T'Pol and I both want to stay in Starfleet if we can." T'Pol's inquiries on Vulcan found opportunities for both Commanders, that would have given them productive futures in their professional lives, but they all required they be separated. Vulcan mates often did not see each other for years at a time, but T'Pol found this unacceptable. The choice of Earth as their home for the foreseeable future was made. "Admiral Kilmer sent me a message before the attack. Told me not to do anything rash before he talked to me, but I haven't heard from him. I saw him once at Starfleet when he got his fourth star, but I've never met him. Scott Nielson says he's a good guy, level headed, fair, and very direct."

Trip wasn't going to give in. He would stay, but only if Starfleet gave him what he wanted and Malcolm had no idea what that was. "I'll see you later I need to get some sleep." The Lieutenant hadn't slept more than a couple of hours a night in days. Maybe he'd better talk to T'Pol about learning the next level of meditating before he hurt somebody. She'd suggested it to him days ago, but he resisted out of stubbornness, but now he needed to calm down and get some real sleep.

"Malcolm I wish I could make you understand. If you ever fall in love with someone you will." Trip knew Mal needed time to deal with the fact that he and T'Pol would be leaving _Enterprise_. The young man didn't know how to make it easier. All he could do was assure him that their friendship would not suffer.

---

Trip thought about the last several days. He and Captain Archer had waited for the Fleet Admiral's transmission. Archer wanted to witness the discussion, but the four star Admiral had other ideas. He dismissed the Captain with orders to change course for Vulcan.

Immediately after the door closed behind Jon, Admiral Kilmer asked Trip to be seated and explained that they would reach an agreement. "You're an officer in Starfleet and I expect you to act as such." Kilmer insisted.

Reminding him of his resignation only made his superior more determined. "Your resignation will not be processed." Surprisingly, he apologized for needing time to review Admiral Forrest files and do his own investigation; therefore; letting this matter get out of hand. Seems Forrest was thorough and never brought an issue to his attention without also bringing him all the information he needed to deal with it. Admiral Gardner had not yet grown into his new duties. Trip didn't think much of Gardner, but hopefully he wouldn't have to worry about that much longer.

They started going over the demands Admiral Gardner and Trip had been arguing over. "Let's cut to the chase. The way you worded this document is very specific. After carefully reviewing the situation I find no problem with the way you wish to structure your command, as long as all regulations are adhered to." Trip wasn't sure if he meant the fraternization regs or not, but that was why the wording was so important. He and T'Pol would always be of the same rank and in a command structure so they were equals. No way for Starfleet to object to any personal relationship. "As for picking your own staff, I expect the best of my staff and I will not object if you demand the right to find and recruit the best team. You've always demanded the right to choose your own staff so I see no reason to change that now. You may also consult or recruit outside of Starfleet. Just keep me informed."

When he agreed to allow them to consult or negotiate assistance wherever he deemed necessary as long as it got them a warp drive capable of warp 6 or better Trip was hard pressed to remain professional. He was overjoyed. Admiral Gardner had said Trip would never be allowed to consult or negotiate any assistance from any alien species. There were those in Starfleet who were responsible for such things.

"The staff responsible for the rest of the ships development will report to you....no direct involvement required, but you will need to be in charge and have final authority. Your personal life is your own as long as you follow regulations and are discrete. You can live wherever you want....I'd never force anyone to command a ship if they didn't want to be there...If requested you will be available for publicity or diplomatic functions without complaint....and I also want a 5 year commitment from you and Commander T'Pol."

Trip wasn't surprised when T'Pol's name was mentioned. The Admiral knew exactly what he was doing. He stood to summon T'Pol from the bridge. He had been projecting the conversation to her through the bond, but they had to keep up appearances.

Both Commanders read the agreement and digitally signed it. The Admiral asked to see Captain Archer, Lieutenant Reed, and Lieutenant Hess. He then began reassigning _Enterprise_s crew. Promoting the Commanders to Captain so they could each fulfill their new responsibilities as heads of warp drive development. To Captain Archer's dismay Reed was promoted to Commander and first officer of _Enterprise_. Kilmer had not consulted the Captain and gave Malcolm less than 5 minutes to consider the promotion and the increase in duties they entailed. Hess was then promoted to Lt. Commander and Chief Engineer.

The new Captains were expected to split their time between training their replacements on _Enterprise_ and their new assignment. The first official duties in their new positions were to be on Vulcan. Ambassador Soval had arranged for them to meet with the High Council and Ministry of Science to discuss Trip and T'Pol's ideas about cooperation for developing warp technology.

Am encoded message was received in Engineering for Captain Tucker. The attack by the Romulans had destroyed every orbital ship building operation Starfleet had. A prototype for a warp 5 freighter had been being constructed on Utopia Planitia, orbiting Mars. The only remaining part of that operation or its personnel was the schematics and specs Trip had just received. The only other remaining ship repairing complex, Jupiter Station, housed several NX class nacelles and spare parts. He and T'Pol were ordered to take these designs and get Starfleet a space worthy warp 6 ship in as little time as possible. Looking over these documents the new Captain discovered finding a new location on Earth for a ship building facility was not their biggest problem. The warp reactor as currently designed took up almost 90% of the engineering hull. What could Commander Shumar have been thinking to have wasted time and resources building a prototype he couldn't put into space.

Trip and T'Pol were under the direct command of Admiral Kilmer until they were operational. The Admiral felt it necessary until they were back on Earth with staff and facilities up and running. All of this left Jonathon Archer a little peevish. His 2 senior officers, one wasn't even human, had managed to become the fastest rising officers in recent history and seemed to have acquired power and authority within Starfleet. Captain Archer wanted them to succeed with their new mission, but found he was a little jealous and saw their rapid rise as a threat to the friendship they had recently achieved. Trip saw it exactly the opposite. His belief was that removing himself from the command structure on _Enterprise_ would allow their friendship to become stronger. He just had to walk a fine line between keeping sensitive details of his assignment to himself, as ordered, and including Jon in his new life.

----

T'Pol found her mate slumped over his desk asleep. She entered his office very late the previous evening when he hadn't come home and she sensed he had fallen asleep. Home, that's what she now considered her quarters', but more than that home was Trip. The backs of her fingers ran across his cheek, up into his blond hair. The touch sending waves of electric like tingles through her arm. He stirred slightly causing a break in the steady pattern of his breathing. Waking him would be selfish on her part. Sleep had not come easy as he sought to sort out their now hectic personal and professional lives. Days of disagreements had done little to ease his obsessive need to make this transition to life on Earth painless and worry free for T'Pol. Throwing a blanket over his shoulders she laid down on the cot across the room and slept. Being near him was enough to make it possible for her to rest. When she woke a couple of hours later he was gone. She closed her eyes and located him with Commander Hess explaining the delicate and tedious procedure for making adjustments to the plasma injectors nearest the warp core.

Later in the morning Trip arrived on the bridge to speak to Captain Archer. The two men were finding a balance that allowed each to fulfill their duties and be friends. Archer let the Captain take over the Command Center and took the first tentative steps in moving from being his superior officer into his new role as advisor. Trip's back was to T'Pol but he could feel her piercing stare. He turned to face her. "Is there something wrong T'Pol?" Purposely ignoring the use of her rank, knowing it was the easiest way to get her to engage him. Since everyone knew of their relationship he no longer bothered to hide his emotions.

She started to say she was his superior officer, but that was no longer true. "May I remind you Captain Tucker we are on duty. Please refrain from addressing me in such a casual manner."

"I apologize Captain, but as I'm sure your problem with me is not of a professional nature, I slipped." Frustration more than anger came through in his raised voice.

She could see and feel that he had not slept enough. "You need to take a nap so you will be less likely to forget to behave professionally." Seeing him excited and engrossed in his work she found delighted her, but it had gone beyond that. He was running on adrenaline. She recognized the behavior from their time in the expanse. The all encompassing desire to save Earth and care for her drove him to ignore his own needs as well ironically he ignored some of hers.

"Who's being unprofessional now. You can't treat me like a child and order me to my room just because I'm not doing things the way you want."

"It was not an order, but it could be if necessary." The set of her jaw tightened slightly.

"Fortunately, their's no one here who can order me to sleep, so..." He saw the flicker in her eyes and the flash of a thought cross her mind. "You wouldn't dare?" All thoughts of suppressing his anger left his mind.

"If you continue to ignore your need for rest I most certainly will dare." T'Pol countered.

Malcolm had watched similar exchanges between the two so often he didn't even look up from his station. Hoshi was totally engrossed in the exchange as was Captain Archer. The dynamic between the couple had becoming less explosive, but vocal arguments in the presence of whomever happened to be in the area when tensions rose continued. Archer was intrigued to see how they would maneuver through the ever changing conditions to maintain a personal and professional relationship. Jonathon Archer could never do it and he doubted many others could either, but before him stood two of the most determined and stubborn people he'd ever know. Those traits might actually work for them.

Trip was angry. She would demand assistance from the only person on the ship who could order him to sleep and he knew he would. He'd done it before on several occasions. Trip concentrated on his breathing to bring his anger under control then he heard, "Captain T'Pol to Dr. Phlox."

Trip's facial expression remained blank, but his eyes burned with anger and his voice though very controlled made it obvious that his temper was about to explode. "Captain Archer could we use your Ready Room?"

"Of course." There was no way he could say no. Fire was about to erupt from the top of Trip's head.

"Follow me, Captain T'POL." Trip stormed off the bridge.

The door hadn't even closed when he let loose. "T'Pol, I'm not a child, stop treating me like one."

She watched as he clenched his fist at his sides and tried to control his breathing. She stood inches from him grabbing his face turning it so she could look him directly in the eyes. "I am your bondmate and I must take care of you. You know this to be true, but you make it impossible for me to do so. I will do what is needed if you continue."

"Being bonded doesn't mean you get to act like my mother. I can decide when I need sleep and when I don't. I have a lot to do in a short amount of time." Trip banged his fist into the wall in frustration. T'Pol wanted him to listen to his own words. 'I' seemed to dominate his conversations of late. The amount of damage the Romulans had inflicted had a devastating affect on Starfleet's ability to strike back. The engineer was beginning to exhibit the same mental attitude he had in the expanse. His need to extract revenge and protect Earth and those he cared about overshadowed everything.

"I will return to assisting Ensign Mayers if you insist on this irrational behavior." T'Pol turned to leave. Holding the door she looked him directly in the eyes. "Was not the purpose of our commanding this facility together so we could be together while having productive and fulfilling careers?" She left him with his own words playing through his mind.

Leaving the Ready Room he quickly entered the turbolift without acknowledging anyone on the bridge, forgetting his purpose for being there. T'Pol's face was as stoic as ever, but Malcolm saw the concern for Trip as she watched him step into the lift. Malcolm moved across to the science station. "I can try to talk to him."

T'Pol spoke very quietly. "There is no need for you to speak to him. He will hear me." Hearing the determination in her voice Malcolm knew exactly what she meant. T'Pol removed herself from their bond and erected all her shields.

When Trip stepped off the turbolift onto the bridge T'Pol was deep in conversation with Archer and Reed. Training the new first officer involved many hours of discussions. Hoshi was busy at her station and was startled when Trip covered her ears with the headset she used when translating or listening to subspace transmissions and placed his finger to his lips.

He then positioned himself behind his mate and waited. T'Pol became aware that the others were staring beyond her and turned her head to see what had garnered their attention. She turned her entire body to face her mate.

The young man could not speak to her in the bond because she had blocked him from her mind. There were few ways he could say he was sorry because she wouldn't understand the tradition of a human male giving his mate flowers or some other gift. He kept causing her pain because of his stubborn refusal to listen to her, until she gave him a headache, when she was only trying to take care of him. He still didn't have the verb tenses of Vulcan down, but he decided now was the time to start showing his bondmate he was serious about them sharing her culture and their lives. Besides this way he could show he really had thought about what he wanted to say and do it somewhat privately.

"Ashalik, Sanoi tobag-tor t'nash-veh lafosh. Tu vesh' yeht, nash-veh zungor heh bolag shom. Nash-veh dingi-hal-tor na' a'sim I' yi nash-veh dungi kohl-tor bai'elkhrul-akteiben a'rie'mnu..... Nash-veh al'sh'iz." (Darlin, Please excuse my mistake. You were right I am tired and I need sleep. I will go to bed now and then I will meditate to attain mastery of these passionate emotions.....I am sorry.) Walking back to the turbolift to go to their quarters he felt her shields come down. He knew he'd accomplished his goal and she had accepted his apology.

"Pehkau!" (Stop!)

Seeing Trip heading off the bridge Hoshi had removed the headset and then she heard the science officer emphatically yell so she replaced it. Thinking to herself there were disadvantages to being a linguist and this had better not become a habit of theirs. She had no intention of spending her time with her ears covered so they could speak in private. The rest of those on the bridge watched the two trying to determine what they were saying by their body language since none of them had bothered to learn Vulcan or any other language.

T'Pol walked to her bondmate, extending her fingers for the ozh'esta. Trip didn't respond. Touching in front of others was not allowed unless it could not be avoided and as hard as it was he had trained himself to keep his fingers intertwined so he wouldn't be tempted to touch her. Her words in his head made him smile. "_This is acceptable to Vulcans between bondmates." _His fingers made the connection and the corners of her mouth twitched upward only slightly, but he saw it. More than that he felt her pleasure, which she would deny, flowing between them.

When the pain from the loss of their connection receded T'Pol continued. "Th-i-oxalra. Nash-veh tor-ri gish tu tor zahal-tor kahry'tan z' Ni-prazh. Nash-veh aitlu zular na' t'nash-veh katravah and t'nash-veh ashayam." (Thank you. I do not expect you to follow the philosophy or way of Vulcans and be indifferent to your emotions. I desire you to be my work partner and my beloved.)

"Nash-veh dungi. Nash-veh ugaya." (I will. I promise.)

"Ragal-tor kup aru-yem?" (Meet me for dinner?)

"Nash-veh nah-tor. Heh Nirsh arkadan variben." (I accept. And no talk about work.) Trip nodded to his mate and continued onto the turbolift.

"Uf wu-vath't vershal-elapein tu na' kah'ru Vuhlkansu?" (How long have you been learning Vulcan?)

Leaning back against the wall in the lift his grin widened as he considered the answer to her question. "Veh kro'el il wuh'ashiv nash-veh palikaya fi' ish-veh maut wuh-rak gad, ashalik." (In one way or another since that very first day, darlin.) As the door closed laughter could be heard from Captain Tucker.

Jonathon Archer had watched his friend Trip Tucker with his mate. He hated that word 'mate'. The couple had explained its meaning in Vulcan and even though he suspected their definition left out intimate details of the relationship, he conceded and began to use mate as well. The discovery that Trip had matured into a strong, confident, independent man should not have been so shocking having spent the last 8 plus years with him, but it was. The younger man he'd known would have sought his friends advice after a disagreement with his significant other. Jon knew every intimate detail of his previous relationships, but very little about this one. He wasn't sure he would have been able to offer anything useful because T'Pol was a Vulcan and didn't respond the way a human woman would. He sure wouldn't have suggested speaking to her in her native language. Trip no longer came to him to ask for what choices he might have. He came with the choices he was willing to live with and asked for Archer's opinions to be sure he hadn't overlooked anything before he made his final decision.

____

Several days were spent in the Command Center doing virtual tours of facilities around San Francisco. A final choice had to be made before _Enterprise_ arrived back at Jupiter Station, so Starfleet could dispatch teams of engineers to get the facility up and running to the specs Trip and T'Pol would provide once a selection had been made. This meant Trip and T'Pol had to discuss their options with Scott Neilson, who was to be promoted to a full Commander and head the Research department of the new warp program. The friendship between Tucker and Neilson had been firmly reestablished in the conversations Trip had with him to convince the Commander to come work for him.

The area chosen had been home to a variety of industries over the years, since it had been first known as Silicon Valley. There was a town nearby that had suffered since the military base had been closed and most of the biggest technological firms had relocated their headquarters to places around the world after the last war on Earth. Trip hoped to encourage the locals to allow aliens to live at or near the facility without being harassed. The local economy would be stimulated by the influx of people and the opportunities for new business ventures to serve them.

Personal time was also spent in the command center doing virtual tours of housing available in the area. Trip had spent 2 years at Starfleet Academy as had Malcolm and Jon. Being young, single Starfleet cadets they and their friends had explored most areas of the city in their free time. T'Pol deferred to Trip's judgment about where to live, but stood firm in the requirements for a home.

"I'll agree the tub looks enticing, but that god awful wallpaper would make relaxation impossible." Malcolm pointed out.

"What part of we can paint the walls are you missing here Malcolm? We've already agreed we'll have to remodel anyplace we find. I don't want white walls and T'Pol doesn't want any colors that resemble those on a starship." The Brit could be a bit tiresome at times. Especially when he got stuck on some silly idea.

"I'm just saying things don't always happen the way you want when you remodel, so you might be stuck with a lime green and orange bathroom for a while." Who could possibly think those colors were appropriate?

"Billy says we can stay in the guest house as long as we need to. We're in no hurry." Trip was trying to convince Commander Reed and himself. He and T'Pol were looking forward to having a house with space and a kitchen and no crewman observing their every move.

Billy's folks had given him and Melissa the house in Ocean Beach when they told them about their engagement and new assignment to San Francisco. The ensigns had requested to be transferred back to Earth. Billy Rivers only signed on to a tour on _Enterprise_ to work with Trip Tucker. He'd heard he about the engineer's reputation in Starfleet, so the young man put aside his dislike of space travel for the chance to learn from the best. Becoming friends with him was a bonus.

Captain Archer joined the two men. "Hey, Jon. Maybe you can help me convince this guy that the potential of a house is what's important, not what it looks like when you move in." Trip's voice cracked several times.

"Sorry, but I'm no help. Never had the need to shop for a house. Are you alright? Your voice seems a little rough." Concern crossed Jon's face.

"Yeah, I promised T'Pol I'd stop by Sickbay. I've been accused of talking a lot but lately that's all I do. My throat gets so sore sometimes I lose my voice." Those times he really looked forward to meditation and appreciated the bond. Not having to talk to enjoy his time with T'Pol was definitely a good thing.

"If you're following her advice you must be getting along better." Jon observed.

"We argue but it doesn't last long. I can't stay mad and it only makes things harder for her to suppress her emotions." He'd do whatever it took to prevent that. When his emotions were peaked T'Pol's control slipped rapidly because she had to remove herself from their connection and had no outlet for the emotions she could not suppress.

"You actually encourage her to suppress her emotions? I'd think you'd want her to express them." Archer noticed that Trip seemed to suppress his emotions more and T'Pol's control was much better than it had been in several months. She was much more relaxed with the crew, but unless one had studied her for a long time her emotions were as unreadable as ever.

"She's a Vulcan Jon. They have to suppress their emotions. You saw what happens when they don't on the Seleya. It's not a pretty sight and could be very dangerous." Trip couldn't tell him he'd seen her lose control or that he felt more from her and for her than he'd ever felt before. He didn't want to. It made it all the more special that only he understood. In a strange way Vulcans were as romantic as humans. The intimacy shared between bondmates was just as powerful as anything a human couple shared. Sometimes more.

"I know but doesn't it bother you when you can't touch her or knowing that she will never tell you she loves you." This had occurred to Jon when he thought of becoming involved with his first officer years ago. He knew T'Pol had emotions. He could see them in her eyes, especially where Trip was concerned. But he wasn't sure he could be with someone who couldn't or wouldn't openly express her feelings to him.

Trip chuckled. He'd heard these comments several times and expected to hear them many more. It made him cringe to think of how he'd seen T'Pol when he first met her. "I knew what it meant to be with her when we got together and it's more than worth it to me." He almost told him she was very affectionate when they were alone, but changed his mind. Justifying them only demeaned their relationship. Besides he'd fallen in love with her before he knew anything about how Vulcans interacted with their mates or about the bond. He felt her emotions without the mental connection and would have made the same choice.

Wanting to change the subject Tucker gave Malcolm a pleading look. "Captain, Commander Shran has agreed to met with the Trip and T'Pol while we're in orbit around Vulcan. He has a soft spot for you, maybe you could help."

"Malcolm, we're off-duty. I'm Jon." Jon wanted them to be friends.

"Yes, sir." Malcolm liked Archer, but could not bring himself to be more than casual friends with his commanding officer. Both Trip and T'Pol had been and still were higher in rank than him, but they weren't his Captain. He'd made concessions and changed his previous beliefs about relationships with his fellow officers, but this one was not going to change. It made for complications that he'd watched Captain Archer and Trip contend with. They were going into a war and that would demand his full attention. Trip and T'Pol leaving the ship had been hard to accept, but now he saw it as a blessing. They would be on Earth and as safe as they could be and he'd be able to do his job free of distractions.

"What do you need from Shran, Trip?" The Andorians must have something important if Trip asked them to come to Vulcan. Shran had always boasted to Jon about their superior technology. The _Kumari_ had much more advanced shielding and warp engines than _Enterprise_.

"They have technology I'd like to get my hands on. We need a smaller impulse engine for the forward section. And we have to find ways to make the warp reactor a hell of a lot smaller and faster. We just need to convince the Andorians and the Vulcans it's in their best interest to help us." The design they'd been given had most of engineering in a section of hull under newly designed nacelles, which he was convinced wouldn't work. The rest of ships functions were located in a big round ball connected to engineering with a corridor. Trip wanted that part of the ship to be able to disconnect from the engineering section in an emergency with its own impulse engine.

"If they won't give us the technology, I want them to give me access to their engineers. Maybe send a couple to work with us." They were very knowledgeable and once you got past their arrogant attitude and distrust they could be very helpful. Trip, T'Pol, and Malcolm had worked with them to repair _Enterprise_ and saw how well trained they were.

"How are you going to get the Imperial Guard to help if the Vulcans are involved?" Shran may have softened toward Vulcans, but there were still those on Andor who didn't trust Vulcans and probably never would.

"That's where you come in. Shran likes you Jon. More than that he trust you and we need him to get his government to see that by helping us they are helping themselves. Isn't that what the Coalition of Planets is supposed to be about?" Jon was supposed to be responsible for pulling and holding the members together. According to Crewman Daniels, who kept showing up to get Archer's assistance with his Temporal Cold War timeline fixes so a Federation of Planets would be formed with Captain Archer's help.

"If you buy Daniel's version of the future I guess that's true. What exactly do you need me to do?" Archer had been shown the formation of this federation several times and understood its importance, but his role in it was not as clear to him.

"Talk to him. Do whatever you have to to convince him to help us." Having lost the Kumari and most of his crew to the drone ship enraged the Andorian Commander. Losing part of his antennae shortly afterwards only added to his disdain for the Romulans. Revenge would be a priority.

"You made a very favorable impression putting _Enterprise _in the middle of their fight with the Vulcans. Don't forget that." Shran had even developed a new respect for Soval and T'Pol over the years.

"I know. I'm counting on it." Getting the Andorians and Vulcans both to help might be challenging. He wanted as much leverage and goodwill as he could muster on both sides. He had enough to worry about with the Vulcans. The government under V'Las targeted T'Pol for retribution for perceived actions against her home world. T'Pau stated the new government wanted to forge a new relationship with Humanity as friends instead of the big brothers they had been in the past.

Ambassador Soval had intentionally leaked the news that T'Pol had taken the human as her bondmate. Giving them time to accept the reality of the situation before the couple arrived seemed like a completely plausible course to follow when Soval suggested it, but now Trip was beginning to get nervous about standing in front of a roomful of Vulcans, as T'Pol's bondmate. What would they do if the Vulcans were appalled at the idea? T'Pol said it didn't matter to her what her people thought about their relationship, but he'd never accept her being banished from her home because of him.

"Any plans to get them all together or are we are entertaining Shran aboard _Enterprise_?" Chef would be upset if he only had a few hours to prepare meals for the Andorians. While their diet wasn't as involved as say the Tellarites, it still involved time to make properly.

"We'll play it by ear. Shran will come here first." As if he read Jon's mind he added. "I already let Chef know _Enterprise_ would be having guest. I remember last time we forgot to inform him. Nobody wants to head back to Earth having only eaten macaroni and cheese for days on end." Trip laughed for a minute. "One more of those things Starfleet failed to mention you have to get used to if you want to be in command. Keep the support staff happy or suffer the consequences." Chef basically went on strike and only served what he knew to be their least favorite meal in the Captain's Mess for a week. T'Pol was the first to abandon the Captain for dinner seeking her vegetarian meals with the rest of the crew. Trip soon followed when he could no longer look at the cheese filled bowl before him, commenting he hadn't even eaten this much mac and cheese when he was a kid and actually really liked it.

"It's not funny. There aren't that many good cooks waiting out there in the wings to serve 3 meals a day to a bunch of space junkies on a starship." Jon had considered replacing his chef for about a minute. It was easier to bury your anger than eat bad food day in and day out. He thought about telling Trip about the multitude of reports Starfleet failed to mention a Captain was expected to file and read. Even with T'Pol sharing the load they would be commanding a larger staff than was aboard a starship, which meant more paperwork.

"Oh, I almost forgot. Ambassador Soval sent word he's already on Vulcan. Told me to let you know he did as you asked." Soval would not tell him what Trip had asked him to do, only said that it was to remain between them at Captain Tucker's request. Jon didn't ask.

"Thanks. I've got to get to sickbay. Doc doesn't sleep much, but he does like to make plans for his evenings. Wouldn't want to interrupt anything." He really did want to get to sickbay, word was that he and Ensign Cutler were now an official couple. The lack of gossip made it hard to keep up on the status of the crew's dating habits. Mostly he wanted to avoid Jon's unasked questions because he couldn't answer them.

---

Trip dressed in the bathroom, trying to get his nerves under control. T'Pol had attempted to ease his tension in the shower this morning, but once the thinking part of his brain re-engaged his self-control abandoned him. They would be spending time on Vulcan. A planet full of telepaths where he would have to shield his mind from unwanted prying and prevent his mind from invading the privacy of those around him. They didn't have to shield the bond, which meant there would be no painful headaches from breaking their connection. That was good news. Waiting to see what kind of reception they would receive was not. Captain Archer and Commander Reed were both accompanying them to the initial meeting with the High Council. Bringing them along was for diplomatic purposes as far as Jon knew, but Malcolm knew, before Trip told him, it was to prevent the overt discussion of private Vulcan matters until Trip could determine the mood of the Council. The tactician in Malcolm saw this as a smart move. Approach on your own terms to assess the situation and proceed accordingly.

Leaving the security of the bathroom Trip was greeted by his mate dressed in a Vulcan robe. It was less formal than the robes he'd seen her in before. The cream color was soft, but the border sewn around the edges and on the sleeves was a swirl of yellows, oranges, and reds. The colors he'd come to associate with Vulcan.

When she turned to face him his eyes immediately focused on the Starfleet emblem and Captain's pips on her chest. The smile that broke out across his face let her know his opinion of her unique way of representing her Starfleet rank while honoring Vulcan customs. He almost forgot to be anxious for a few minutes.

The group entered the Council building. Standing in the atrium waiting for their admittance and formal introduction to the High Council. T'Pol sent waves of calm to her mate. She had been reassuring him for 2 days now that whatever happened they would be fine. They could no longer hurt her. It hadn't helped.

"Comman.... Captain Tucker."

Tucker automatically moved in the direction of the voice. Ambassador Soval stood at the end of the corridor. Trip sensed his slight embarrassment at incorrectly addressing him. As Trip moved closer he leaned in, smiling. "Don't worry about it. I'd forget myself if everybody didn't keep referring to me as Captain." When exactly Soval's presence had begun to have a positive affect on him he didn't know, but he felt calmer.

"Thank you, Captain, but as a diplomat it is inexcusable to be disrespectful to guest of Vulcan."

Trip lifted his hand into the ta'al. "Live, Long, and Prosper, Ambassador." Signaling his acceptance of the Vulcan's apology and the end of that discussion. Soval did the same.

"Ambassador, has the High Council reached any decisions on our requests?" Trip wanted some idea of what to expect. The next hours could set the tone for any future cooperation between the Vulcans and Starfleet.

"There have been many discussions regarding our new circumstances, but there are formalities that must be observed before any final decisions will be made." Soval had much he wished to talk to Tucker and T'Pol about, but T'Pau had ordered him to remain quiet. She wished to observe Captain Tucker and draw her own conclusions regarding him.

T'Pol interrupted the two. "It is time." Motioning toward the Vulcan at the entrance to the council chamber.

Soval bowed slightly as he walked away. "I must take my place with the council members."

Trip and T'Pol rejoined Archer and Reed. The Starfleet Officers followed their guide into the room. Trip and Malcolm were amazed at the colors in the room. Purple walls and chairs did not fit into the picture one conjured when dealing with Vulcans. Standing in front of the long table left the group feeling rather defenseless. Trip and T'Pol studied each face, as the members entered from the back of the room and took their seats, trying to discern some sign of acceptance.

All four raised their hand in the traditional ta'al, as Captain Tucker and Captain T'Pol issued their greeting.

T'Pau responded to them all with a nod and the ta'al. "Captain Tucker, Captain T'Pol we have much to discuss."

"Yes, ma'am." Trip replied waiting for her to continue.

Continue she did. "It has recently come to our attention that there is a personal matter that must be attended to before we proceed. Captain T'Pol is it true that you have chosen Captain Tucker as your mate?"

Trip almost choked. This was not the tack he'd expected. He had several questions for his mate, but refrained from asking through the bond. Vulcans were known to be direct, but this even caught T'Pol by surprise and he felt her anxiety level rise.

"Yes, Minister T'Pau this is true." T'Pol suspected T'Pau had known about the bond since their mind-meld in the forge to heal T'Pol's Pa'nar Syndrome, but said nothing.

"Captain Tucker are you prepared to abide by Vulcan tradition and formalize this arrangement?" T'Pau and the other council members had directed their gaze to him.

"_Darlin, what exactly is she talking about?" _He wanted to know what happened to keeping Vulcan bonds and mating practices private, but assumed T'Pol wouldn't have an answer.

"_Formalizing our bond before a priest, I believe." _

"_Is that something you want to do?"_

"_It would be a logical step as we are already bondmates."_

"_Don't give me logical. Do you want to do this?" _

"_I would have no objection."_

"_Then that's what we'll do."_

Looking directly into T'Pau's eyes. "_Yes, _I am prepared to follow Vulcan tradition, Minister T'Pau. What do you have in mind?"

T'Pau stood and started for the exit to their right. "If you and Captain T'Pol would follow me I will explain what you need to do." Just before the door opened she turned to Soval. "Ambassador we may require your assistance."

Evidently, the High Council had decided that making their union official; therefore; making Trip a Vulcan citizen with all the rights and responsibilities that implied was the first order of business. The whole affair went off very quickly. Trip was given Vulcan robes to wear and informed that from this day on he would be expected to wear Vulcan attire whenever he entered an official Vulcan building anywhere. His Captain's pips were placed on his chest as was a Starfleet emblem. Trip didn't bother to ask where these items came from. He was sure Soval must have obtained them before leaving Earth.

The couple was then sent back out into the Council Chamber and instructed to stand facing each other before the priest who waited for them. As he reached up to touch their faces Jonathon Archer moved in their direction only to be stopped by the arm of Commander Reed. "They will be fine Captain." Malcolm smiled and felt a great sense of warmth flood his body as he watched his two friends touch fingers.

Whispering in Reed's ear his feelings were clear. "He's going to do a mind-meld." Archer retained very few memories of his time carrying Surak's katra, and lost more and more of those memories as time went by, but he did remember the two mind-melds he had experienced. He was glad to have aided in the recovery of the Kir'Shara and Surak's katra but found the melds invasive and uncomfortable.

"And I'm sure Trip and T'Pol both understand what's happening. They've done this before." Malcolm wasn't totally sure of what they were seeing, but he knew the look in his friends eyes. Trip knew exactly what he was doing and was very happy about it.

It was over in a flash. The priest simply touched each mind to sense the bond and left nodding to the council on his way out to confirm they were indeed bondmates. They were fully bonded, so the normal ceremony was not required.

"Captain Tucker, we can now proceed with the business of addressing your request for Vulcan assistance." T'Pau looked up to see that the Captain's were still standing face to face. "Captain Tucker."

Trip turned his body to the minister, but the smile on his face said his attention was elsewhere. Soval recognized his attempts to focus when his fingertips came together one hand pushing against the other as his eyes stared straight ahead. "Minister T'Pau perhaps a short break would be in order." T'Pol had regained her control, but Tucker had not. While he might outwardly give the appearance of Vulcan like control, the Ambassador had worked with humans long enough to know their sentimental nature during such occasions would not be suppressed for long.

T'Pau had less experience dealing with Humanity, but she sensed the emotions emanating from the young man before her and felt the increasing vibration of the bond. It would have been an expected reaction between newly bonded Vulcan mates, but they were already bonded and T'Pol appeared to be fully in control. Regardless, she called for a break. "We will meet back here in one hour." The council members stood to leave.

Archer was at Trip's side. "What the hell just happened? It's like you just got membership in some secret Vulcan club."

Trip laughed to himself, completing the childlike description of his friend in his head. 'Yeah, Jon and they just clued me in to the secret handshake that goes along with it.' He instantly felt T'Pol's questions as to what he meant. "_I'll explain later, darlin. Right now I want some privacy with my wife."_

"No secret club Jon. I just officially became T'Pol's husband." He left out the citizenship for now. Starfleet might not accept that news very well.

"You're married?"

"We've been unofficially married for some time now. We just didn't know it until he transferred to Columbia." T'Pol informed the shocked Archer.

"How do you intend on keeping this from Starfleet?" They'd just gotten transferred and promoted. It seemed careless to risk that now.

"We don't have to keep it a secret. All we have to do is use some discretion and not break any regulations. The agreement we made with Starfleet guarantees we will always be in compliance with the rules." Trip and T'Pol had spent many hours carefully wording the document that would determine their future for several years to come. Trip wasn't about to let anything or anyone come between them.

"So Kilmer must have already known about you when he made the agreement?" Trip had definitely changed. He had learned not to trust his future to fate. He'd always known Trip was a very talented engineer, but Starfleet must be in worst shape than Archer knew about if the Admiral was allowing them to work the system this way.

"He never said so directly, but he implied he knew. Now if you'll excuse us I need to consult with my wife." T'Pol followed him in search of a secluded space. Soval lead them to an empty room down the corridor.

"Are you okay with this?" Trip was concerned that the abruptness of the ceremony or whatever that was would be upsetting to T'Pol.

"As we considered ourselves married it is of no importance. We were married in my mother's atrium." He was her husband in the eyes of her people and he was now a citizen and would always be welcomed on Vulcan. That's what she cared about.

"I like the way you think. Thinking of that day as the day we were wed and not you and Koss suits me just fine." He wrapped her tightly in his arms. "I'm sorry I couldn't hold it together in there. I just wanted to hold you. Felt like if I didn't touch you I'd go crazy."

"When you feel this way you may touch your fingers to mine. If you wish it to be unnoticed simply stand behind me and request I place my hands behind me." She told him this was an acceptable way for Vulcans to touch in public, but he still felt apprehensive about initiating physical contact with her in public.

"I know you told me that was acceptable for Vulcan bondmates I just didn't know we could do it anytime I needed to."

"You are my T'hy'la. If you have need of my touch to calm or reassure you then you shall have it."

"Why did you call me T'hy'la?" Trip knew what it meant, but T'Pol had only called him Ashayam in the past.

"It is what you are. It means..." She hadn't consciously thought about it, the word just came to mind. Perhaps the ceremony today had more importance to her than she was willing to admit to herself and her bondmate. It deepened the connection between them. Not in a tangible way, but in some undefinable place within her.

"I know it means we're soulmates. I just wanted to know why the change, but it doesn't matter because I feel the same way about you." He kissed her passionately, breaking it off when the realization of where they were and the impending return to their meeting crashed into his brain.

"I wish to be alone with you as well, but there is much to discuss and I am yet unsure as to what the High Council has in mind. But they have put some plan in motion and we must remain focused."

Trip thought about how this day had started. Being married and a Vulcan citizen hadn't even been passing thoughts before T'Pau brought it up. They had not really talked about making anything official or legal between them. He figured they would get around to it eventually, but it wasn't a priority. They were together and that's all he cared about. "I know and I'm fine now. I just needed to hold you for a minute. If I'd known I could do that ozh'esta we could have stayed in the meeting."

Maybe not T'Pol thought. Captain Archer had been ready to pounce when they stood before the priest. She'd heard the commotion. The fact that Malcolm knew enough about Vulcan mating rituals, from Trip, to have figured out what was happening made him stop Jon from interfering, but he wouldn't have remained quiet for much longer. Trip should have known the priest doing a mind-meld would have caused concern. Jon hadn't suffered any damage from his experiences, but he didn't see them as totally pleasant either. He'd been worried that Trip had gone to the Vulcan ship and melded with T'Pol.

The day progressed with The Starfleet Captains voicing their views on the war with the Romulans, Earth's need for assistance from the members of the Coalition, and what type of assistance Trip and T'Pol felt they needed. All that was said only touched on the periphery of the subjects.

The Council assigned Ambassador Soval to meet with Captain Archer and Commander Shran in the morning, on _Enterprise,_ to negotiate with the Andorians for their aid in advancing Starfleet's warp drive and starship technology. Soval was to assist Archer in convincing Andor to work with Starfleet and the Vulcans to protect the Alpha Quadrant.

Returning to the ship created quite a stir. Jon had mentioned the marriage to Hoshi and Travis when he got to the bridge. Word spread like wildfire. When Trip and T'Pol entered the mess hall for dinner the lights were low and the room was eerily quiet. The plan had been to get something and take it back to their room, but in the back corner a table was set for two with table linens and candles. A crewman acting as a waiter directed the couple to be seated. He then poured each a glass of wine before leaving them to enjoy it. Trip glanced around the room noting the rest of the crew attempting to be inconspicuous. Knowing how impossible that was on a starship he and T'Pol agreed to aid them and pretend they weren't there.

By the end of the meal Trip decided that Chef must be a romantic. He had pulled together a special dinner in record time. The first course was bread and a hearty vegetable soup and a salad. Next came stuffed peppers with white wine risotto. Followed by a selection of desserts.

As the couple left the crew members offered congratulations to them both. Trip thanked them all for keeping things low key and promised a big party to celebrate once they reached Earth. He'd intended to throw a party for the crew to say goodbye, to celebrate all the promotions, and the continued assignments on board ship for those who requested it. He wanted to do it while they were on leave and find a place that was big enough so all the crew would be able to attend. Now they just had one more thing to be thankful for.

They finally were in their quarters. The wine had relaxed Trip. He laid on the floor placing his head on a meditation pillow, pulling T'Pol down with him.

"I've thought of you as my wife since you told me about the bond, but now it's official." He hadn't thought it would matter if they married or not. Nothing really changed. They weren't anymore committed to being together than they were this morning, but the bonds between them seemed more powerful and stronger.

"My adun." T'Pol laid her head on his chest as she closed her eyes and breathed in the unique scent of her husband.

Trip's hands went to work removing the robe she wore. He had every intention of fulfilling his duties as a husband, leaving no doubt how blissfully happy he was to finally be bound to her in every way possible.

-----

The meeting the next day was different. The room was less formal, but the attendees were the same as yesterday. T'Pau began.

"Captain Tucker we need to discuss your status as a Vulcan citizen and what that means for you and Vulcan."

"Minister T'Pau, I don't mean to interrupt, but I know what it means and I chose to honor Vulcan's culture and traditions before I became a citizen and I will continue to do so."

"I am aware that you have acted as any Vulcan would in protecting our heritage and our standing in the Coalition, but we need to be certain of your future actions. The Romulans pose a threat to Vulcan because of our shared ancestry. The Ministry of Security has recently discovered infiltrators at all levels of our government. This is an internal matter and will be handled once we determine what their intentions toward Vulcan are. If any of this were to become known before we are ready it could undermine all our efforts to aid Earth in this war."

"We understand that. When you inform Starfleet or the UE about the Romulans is up to you. I suggest you do it sooner rather than later. There has to be a way it can be kept confidential and will only help to strengthen the ties between our two governments. I'm only here to ask for Vulcans help with our technology. We don't have months to spend trying to reinvent the wheel if we want any chance of stopping the Romulans."

The Vulcan Minister Kumak spoke up, pushing a schematic toward Trip. "Captain Tucker, what do you see as the major issues with this warp drive?"

Tucker stood up and looked at the drawings before him. When he saw the specs for the warp drive Starfleet have given him just days ago Trip was beyond shocked. "Where did you get these?" He looked at the specs again rubbing his eyes. What the hell did it matter? He'd have given them the specs if they'd asked. The Vulcans had already reached warp 7 and beyond. "Never mind."

Trip pointed at the specs and started with the immediate lists of problems. "The warp reactor's too big, these nacelles won't work, there's not enough power to get to warp 5 much less 6, we need a smaller impulse engine for the main part of the ship, and we need better shielding. The good news is the warp drive will power a ship, but you couldn't fly it unless you can do without a crew."

Trip looked at the Kumak. "That's off the top of my head, sir." He shook his head. Every time he thought about this he got angry. Why had Starfleet agreed to build a prototype that had no chance of flying? Did they even look at the specs?

Kumak, from the Ministry of Science, looked to Minister T'Pau. She nodded affirmatively for him to go ahead.

Trip didn't recognize the Vulcan male who spoke, but he did understand his words even tough he spoke in his native tongue. "Minister T'Pau you need to reconsider. This is classified information."

The minister in charge of security had voiced his opposition to sharing classified material with Earth very vocally. T'Pau responded in Vulcan. "Minister Sorren we have discussed this. If we do not assist the humans to advance their technology the Romulans will take over the Alpha Quadrant and eventually Vulcan. Does you have another way?"

Trip interrupted speaking in Vulcan. "Minister Sorren is it? I understand your reluctance, but if we can't find a way to make this Coalition work we might as well just give up and let the Romulans take over. T'Pol and I are committed to making this work. I'll do what ever I have to to keep Earth and Vulcan safe." He wanted to let them know he understood their position. It felt somewhat satisfying to surprise them with the knowledge that he had bothered to learn their language.

The air in the room changed. Trip could feel pride from T'Pol, but he had no idea whether the shift was good or bad. With a little time he would have been able to read these Vulcans, but he didn't have the luxury of time. Sorren studied Trip.

"If he is to be treated as a citizen of Vulcan he should be subject to our laws and be required to take the loyalty oath."

"He's an officer in Starfleet. We cannot expect him to pledge his loyalty to Vulcan over Earth. And if we did how would we enforce it? Go to Earth and execute him?" T'Pau stared pointedly at Sorren.

Kumak must have decided the Security Minister had nothing more to object to, so he continued. "We have discussed the ramifications of Vulcan openly assisting Starfleet. We are not prepared to openly declare war on the Romulans, but we are prepared to assist you. Your assertion that the Romulans will not stop if they were to defeat Earth we agree is correct. Therefore when you return to Earth we will provide **you**, Captain Tucker, with the specifications for a new type of power matrix. Our engineers may also be able to assist you in using the nacelles from the NX class starships you have. We are trusting that you will not disclose, even to Starfleet, where the technology came from."

"You have my word, but I have to tell them something." New power matrix designs didn't just appear out of nowhere.

"I'm told you are a talented engineer. It should not be difficult to allow them to believe you are responsible." T'Pau suggested.

Minister Kumak added. "You will need to retrofit the original design for your starship."

"I'll think of something." Trip was uncomfortable taking credit for something he didn't do, but they needed the technology.

The minister moved on. "The final matter we must discuss is the Ministry of Security's belief that many on Vulcan and on Earth will object to the joining of a Vulcan to a human mate. Security will be provided to you and T'Pol once you reach Earth. Also if we are to allow Vulcan citizens to work at your facility certain precautions will need to be taken." The new High Council had to walk a fine line to keep Vulcan and it citizens safe and keep the Coalition together to defeat the Romulans, while reforming the internal workings of their government and preventing infighting.

"I'll contact Starfleet as soon as I leave here and start making the necessary arrangements. Is there someone at the consulate that can act as a liaison between us?" Getting Starfleet to place a blackout order around the area shouldn't pose a problem. Coordinating security on Earth by Vulcan security agents might be a little trickier, but that was Admiral Kilmer's worry not Trips. Starfleet needed Vulcan and Vulcan wanted to protect their people and their interests.

"Ambassador Soval is the one to ask. I have given him authority to act on behalf of the High Council in this matter. He will assign staff and will also arrange full access to the consulate for both you and T'Pol. There you will have a secure subspace frequency, so that you have access to Vulcan if needed."

T'Pau then looked at T'Pol. "I may seek your advice. Having spent time among humans and also being the mate of a human gives you a unique perspective of the problems we face." T'Pol had expected to be shunned by the High Council. She'd been ready for it. Not really believing things would change from the oppressive rule of the former High Command. She could still see the distrust and contempt in the eyes of some, but they wouldn't openly defy T'Pau and be seen as doing anything that might put Vulcan at risk. T'Pol wasn't sure if her new status was because she was Vulcan or because she was a Captain in Starfleet and married to Starfleet's top warp engineer.

The two Starfleet Captains returned to their ship. The meetings with the High Council had been more productive than hoped. No concessions were made for working with the Andorians nor was the idea discouraged. Whenever the subject was broached the topic changed immediately. Sensing a divide amongst the members of the Council Trip let it go. Ambassador Soval must have known what the High Council intended to do and he was currently meeting with Captain Archer and Commander Shran.

The couple went directly to Archer's Ready Room when the shuttlepod docked. "Captain Tucker, Captain T'Pol may I offer my congratulations." Shran offered Trip his hand as he nodded to T'Pol.

Not sure what they were being congratulated for they each responded with "Thank You, Commander."

Shran walked back to the table and sat down. "Captain Archer has been very persuasive in pointing out the necessity for Andor to cooperate with Starfleet in stopping these vile creatures."

"Yes, and do you agree?" T'Pol asked even though the venom in his words said yes.

"There was a time I would have said the Imperial Guard would not work with Vulcans for any reason. We can no longer afford to fight each other or we will all be subjects of the Romulan Empire." A darkness could be seen in Shran's eyes.

"Has Ambassador Soval made Vulcans stance clear?" T'Pol's best guess was that the Council had left the question open on purpose.

Soval answered. "We have agreed to work together at your facility under the direction of Starfleet. It is a beginning." Soval bowed his head slightly as he perceived the sigh of relief from Trip. Trip and T'Pol would have command over Vulcans and Andorians

"The Imperial Guard will fight alongside the members of the Coalition. Andor understands the truth in Captain Archer's assertion that without the Coalition the Alpha Quadrant will be overrun."

"Are you sending us engineers?" Trip asked impatiently.

"The Chancellor will give you the details. He had requested to speak to both of you personally. A transmission has been arranged for tomorrow." Shran had no details of what the Imperial Guard was prepared to offer.

Trip rubbed his hands down the side of his face. They all wanted to help, but didn't want anyone else to know. Let's work together but separately at the same time. It was giving him a headache.

Hoshi came into the room. "Captain Tucker. Ambassador Gral of Tellar left a message for you."

"Okay. What was it?" Trip asked expectantly when she failed to finish her statement.

"He just said he needs to speak to you and will rendezvous with _Enterprise _in 2 days our way back to Earth." Trip didn't bother to ask how he knew where _Enterprise_ was and when they were leaving to return home.

Neither Trip or T'Pol had been in contact with the Tellarites, so had no idea what this was about. He looked around the room. "Anybody know what he wants?" Nobody did. Good news was he had nothing to prepare for with an unknown agenda.

---

Trip paced back and forth across the cargo bay. Thoughts whirling around to fast to comprehend. Back and forth. Back and forth. Now breathe. T'Pol had been trying to locate him, but he had blocked himself out of the bond for the most part all afternoon. She waited for his control of his shields to slip. It would if only for a moment although he had become an expert at constructing places in his mind to keep things to himself. His worry, frustration, and doubts. All to protect her from his inner demons.

She found him. Upon entering the bay she simply leaned against the door and waited. Too much had happened too quickly. Not good or bad, just stressful. T'Pol was beginning to understand that as a Vulcan she had been taught to approach new situations without thought or feeling, just as tasks to be completed. Having too many tasks just meant you worked harder and meditated more to fit them into the larger scheme of things. Trip meditated and it helped him to relax and think more clearly, except when overwrought and drowning in his own thoughts. The effect was to create excess energy that needed an outlet. T'Pol had come to see that the outlet sometimes had to be physical and sometimes mental.

"I'm sorry T'Pol. I did it again."

"Why are you apologizing? You have done nothing."

"I thought my shields had gotten stronger, so I could keep from disturbing you."

"You have not disturbed me. I have been assisting Commander Reed with the duty rosters and evaluations of the crew." It's when they finished that she became concerned. The flutter in the back of her mind that told her her mate was not harmed or in any danger remained, but that was all.

"I came down here so I wouldn't bother you." He kept pacing. "Too much to think about. What have I gotten us into?"

"You did not get us into anything. We decided this together."

Secrets were starting to weigh Trip down. Vulcans wanted to help, but don't tell anyone. The Andorians offered shielding technology and engineers to help design and build the impulse engine, but you can't tell the Vulcans. Now the Tellarites wanted to offer assistance, but their technology was inferior, but they did have ready access to raw materials and dilithium crystals. All they had to do was get Starfleet to agree to a reciprocal agreement that would allow them to bring engineers to Earth to be trained while working on the warp project in exchange for the materials the Tellarites would provide. And none of them wanted the Romulans to know the Coalition members had done more than sign an agreement. Three species who were distrustful, arrogant, and secretive all housed secretly in the same place with he and T'Pol playing referee. And just this morning Admiral Kilmer requested he consider offering classes to the Starfleet senior engineering cadets, including hands on instruction. When he was supposed find time to actually think about and build a warp six engine and starship was becoming harder and harder to fathom.

He had hours of meetings to attend when they arrived back at Starfleet headquarters. With all the classified information floating around so freely the Captains had decided communication over subspace was not secure enough. It seemed everyone had broken Starfleet's encryption codes. A fact that Trip had brought to Ensign Sato's attention with a suggestion she start working on creating a new one before they found out the hard way that the Romulans also had access to classified communications.

Then he had his parents. They knew T'Pol was a friend. That they had been parents to a cloned child together. And that's it. He hadn't told them anything else. They'd want to know why he'd gotten married without telling them. He didn't even want to think about the fact that they weren't there. His little brother wasn't going to be much help. He'd be just as put out with him. He might be saved when he told them he was staying on Earth, if they weren't unhappy that they were buying a house in the San Francisco area. He wasn't sure how they'd feel about T'Pol being Vulcan either.

T'Pol listened to his thoughts as she watched him pace. "You need to stop thinking. Come with me."

Trip stopped, searching her face for several seconds before he moved to follow her. They arrived in Engineering.

"Commander Hess I believe Captain Tucker has some time to assist you in Engineering." T'Pol had already spoken to Hess earlier.

"Yes, ma'am. We can always use an extra set of hands." Handing a padd to Tucker. "There's the next items on my list for today. Take your pick." Trip studied the list.

A young ensign overhead saw this. "You'd think she'd find something more than grunt work for him to do. He was the chief."

Trip started to reprimand the young man, but Hess stopped him. "You take care of that. I'll take care of him." Pointing to the padd as she climbed the ladder to reach the next level.

Rostov leaned in. "She's got your whole spiel down word for word. You trained her well. Won't let anyone bully her out of doing what has to be done to keep this engine running at peak and by the time she's done with him he'll understand that."

"I always knew she was good, but I worried she wouldn't be tough enough to stand up to the Captain when she needs to." Captains tended to forget that engines required time and finesse to keep things running when they became totally focused on the mission. He was also glad to see Rostov stepping up as her second. He had been less than thrilled to be working under a woman when he first arrived, but over time he had learned that she was a talented engineer and being a woman added another way of looking at problems. Hess taught Trip how to see things from a different perspective.

Walking into his office to retrieve his tools the changes were obvious. This wasn't his office any longer. The table at the far end of the room held all his belongings, neatly arranged, waiting for him to pack them in the crates on the floor. He was officially in charge of Engineering until _Enterprise_ docked at Jupiter Station. But he had stepped back and allowed Commander Hess to take charge. She needed the time to build her confidence while Trip was still available if she needed him. He needed time to let go of the powerful connection he had established with this ship. The sound and feel of the warp drive become a part of him, but Hess needed to make it her own now.

Trip tweaked the EPS conduits in section J12 then moved on to recalibrating the injectors further down the line. The longer he worked the less stressed he felt. T'Pol brought him here and left saying she would have dinner waiting whenever he came home. He needed to do something that required nothing more than following a precise set of steps to accomplish. Gradually he rejoined their minds reassuring himself she had not been disquieted by his temper tantrum. Locating her in the Command Center speaking with Jon he quietly receded attempting not to intrude on their conversation. T'Pol felt the emptiness his absence left begin to return and asked him to remain. Stating _'Jon is your friend and only looking out for you. Please stay I have missed you'_.

Jon asked T'Pol the same questions he had put to Trip. "I know Trip seems better, but then he has days like today and I worry that he's still hiding things. Is he really okay?"

"Captain, he has good days and he has bad days. Most of his days are good." This was true. They both had bad days. The trick was balancing each other out and trying to prevent them from occurring at the same time. The strain of channeling her emotions was manageable for Trip, except when he let his own worries overtake the rational portion of his psyche. Today had been one of those days. Too many secrets. Too many demands that required him to employ skills he possessed, but had little confidence in using. His new duties had pulled him away from the one thing that kept him sane all these years. Working with his mind and body to create and maintain a warp engine. He needed no praise or pats on the back. He drew satisfaction from the sound and feel of a perfectly aligned warp drive that could propel a starship as far and as fast as possible.

"He's never been very diplomatic. He tends to say exactly what he's thinking. How is he ever going to manage working with the Vulcans, Andorians, and Tellarites?" Jon had given this a lot of thought. The Andorians didn't trust either the Vulcans or the Tellarites. He wasn't sure where the relationship stood between Tellar and Vulcan. Humans seemed to be getting along with all three, but it would take a delicate hand to act as the mediator between them on a daily basis.

"Trip has learned to control his most volatile emotions when necessary. I will be there to assist him. When he gets lost he needs to reconnect with the engineer that is so much of who he is. It brings order to the chaos in his mind, so he can then meet the challenges he faces."

"It took me years to discover that about him. I always knew he was a talented engineer, but I didn't understand how much it defined him. He always said he wanted to command a ship of his own one day, but being in command of a ship or being on _Enterprise_ for another war would destroy him." Jon wanted to be Captain. Maybe not during a war, but he'd known that was a possibility. Trip on the other hand wanted to see new worlds and learn new things. War and death had never been a part of the adventure he sought. Space exploration had proven to be a very violent and costly undertaking. Tucker was a very capable commander, just not suited for commanding a starship, especially during wartime. Archer finally appreciated the choices his friend had made recently.

"Trip takes care of me and I will care for him. There will be many challenges, but we will be fine." Trip was feeling the pressure of their new command, as was T'Pol. Jupiter Station was less than a day away. The Vulcan did not worry but sought ways to do her duty in the most efficient way. The human worried if he was up to the challenge of a marriage, command, and getting Starfleet the best possible ships with which to defeat their newest enemy.

"_Darlin, he worries too much about me when he needs to worry about himself." _Trip knew Jon would not take the time to allow the wounds of the expanse to heal because he needed to be in that same mindset to defeat the Romulans. He knew Malcolm would survive the war mentally, but he worried that Jon would sink farther into himself and become more isolated. As much as he wished he could stay and be there for Jon Trip knew he could not. His life was forever intertwined with T'Pol and they must set a new course.

The images of the when Trip Tucker made the decision to change the direction his life had been built upon played like a movie in her mind's eye. Trip stood at a door beating his head and fists against it, trying to get it to open, for the longest time. Tired and distraught he finally stopped, turned, and searched for the source of the tickle in the back of his head. Finding the seed of hope standing before him he abandoned all necessity to ask why, and simply reached out his hand and waited. A hand interlaced with his. The lifeline they both needed. Some unspoken promise was forged between the two beings. The final image she saw was herself and Trip standing hand in hand with many paths before them.


	6. Chapter 6

Healing to Your Life – Chapter 6

Captain Trip Tucker and Captain T'Pol stood at the front of the room looking defeated. Four groups were assembled. Each wanted control of the security forces at Warp Development and all had very valid reasons. Starfleet because they were on Earth, the Vulcans because they had the most experience, the Andorians just because, and the Tellarites so they could feel as if they were contributing to and had some say in the project. The shouting match began at 08:00 and had not abated.

"Okay, everybody shut up." Tucker yelled several times. After giving serious consideration to using his phase pistol on the stun setting he began banging a chair on the table. Everyone stopped, seriously shocked according to the looks on their faces. This was not the laid-back Charles Tucker III they'd all heard about.

"Sit down and shut up." Trip stated firmly. He and T'Pol were supposed to be in command of those present, but found it difficult to control the single-minded personnel. They'd only had to work with one such person prior to this. Now they had a roomful of Malcolm Reed's. Who took their oath to protect very seriously and trusted no one to do it better than they themselves. When that thought came to mind Trip wondered why he hadn't consulted Malcolm on how best to organize a multi-species security task force. Listening to them it became very clear that they were never going to agree, so he and T'Pol had to pull rank and make some decisions.

The two Captains excused themselves to another room to talk. When they returned the room was still quiet. No one had moved. The commanding officers forgot that Tucker's shouted directive would be seen officially as an order and had left them sitting at what amounted to attention.

"Commanders Telev (Andorian), Garv (Tellarite), Barnes (Starfleet), and Sub-Commander Muroc (Vulcan) you and your seconds Lieutenants Saulan, Lissa, Reese, and Major Talas will operate as a unit. All security matters will be handled by you. You will work together or you will suffer the consequences. I'm sure we don't have to remind you what your respective governments do to those who fail to do their duty." Trip knew about Starfleet and the High Council for sure. From what Shran told him the Imperial Guard dealt with discipline problems by sending them to some distant planet in another quadrant. The Tellarites were an unknown. Were they as rude and obnoxious to their own as they were to other species or would the fact that they had finally been allowed on Earth be enough to keep them in line. They could only hope the implied threat kept the worst of the disagreements to a manageable level.

"Knowing the restrictions for the movements outside the designated area we expect you to submit a detailed security plan for both personnel and property by day's end tomorrow. Teams will consist of four members and we expect to see every group represented on each team." It had already been decided that the teams assigned to Trip and T'Pol would be one Vulcan and one Human, to draw less attention. Andorians and Tellarites had not been stationed on Earth before so they would be more of a novelty. Hopefully forcing them all to work as teams would speed up the getting acquainted phase.

The next set of meetings were with Starfleet to establish who was going to provide space for the new Andorian and Tellarite Ambassadors to Starfleet and Warp Development. Both were due to arrive in 6 days and so far no one had any idea where they were going to go. The addition of Ambassadors was not planned, but when Captain Tucker asked for someone to act as a liaison between Warp Development and their governments they each asked why they couldn't have a representative on Earth like the Vulcans had. When Admiral Kilmer pushed it through the assumption was that they would be housed within the warp facility. In an effort to force Starfleet to set them up in offices in or near Starfleet Headquarters Trip and T'Pol had them assigned living accommodations with their respective species, but no space was made available in the Warp Dev offices.

In their last conversation T'Pol had suggested to Ambassador Soval that having his fellow Ambassadors closer to Starfleet would make it easier to establish a working relationship with each government. The two captains had worked out a strategy for dealing with the bureaucracy. Most of the Admirals seemed to be at least slightly timid around the Vulcan Captain, so T'Pol would take the lead with whichever gathering of command officers they were currently negotiating with. Trip was amused to see the reaction when she sat there with no visible expression and that intonation in her voice as she delivered a request or an alternative to their desired plans. He had practiced his control, but knew he'd never be as good as his mate at that deadpan delivery. The Admirals sometimes intimidated Trip, but with T'Pol at his side he never showed it. T'Pol quite logically suggested to the Admirals that Starfleet needed to take advantage of this new arrangement to strengthen the Coalition and that Ambassador Soval concurred. By the end of the meeting Starfleet had agreed to consider finding office space for them.

After the meeting Trip voiced a severe dislike for T'Pol's uniform insisting they visit the quartermaster. T'Pol saw no reason to alter her uniform as Vulcans paid no attention to their clothing and it was of no concern to her and should be of no concern to Trip. Trip knew her assertion about not caring about her clothes was blatantly untrue.

"Darlin, if you didn't care what you wore those robes you Vulcans wear would be boring and unattractive." All the Vulcans he'd met here and on Vulcan were in colorful, decorative robes. A few of the more old school government types wore bland looking robes, but that didn't appear to be the norm. T'Pol's current uniforms came in a variety of vibrant colors. Not because that was all that was available, but because those were colors she liked, even if she'd never own up to having taste.

"If others find it necessary 'to check me out' it is of no concern to me and should not be of concern to you, husband." T'Pol insisted again.

"Fine, then I'll have my uniform tailored to fit like my blues and we'll see how unconcerned you are with others checking me out." There wasn't even a small chance she'd call his bluff, because he knew she'd tried to hide it but she hadn't reacted well whenever he was required to don his underwear and T-shirt outside his quarters while aboard _Enterprise_.

Images began to flash into his mind as T'Pol recalled the past. When he woke her up when the ship had been boarded by the Ferengi, while he was in decon, and had to run around in his underwear. The occasions they both had been in decon stripped down to their briefs. When he and Mal returned from Risa wearing robes.

The quartermaster watched the two. The look on Captain T'Pol's face hadn't changed, but her eyes had a look that was unmistakable. "If you'll excuse me I'll be over there when you've made your decision." He quickly moved to the other side of the counter.

An evil smirk started to appear across his lips. Trip felt the wave of emotions flooding her mind. Stunned that she had been livid when they found him and the princess. Him in his blues and unable to give a satisfactory answer for his state of undress. And how had he missed all those female crew members checking out his physique in the rec room or in the corridors. "Wuh pi' kis-ka nam-tor etek, ashalik?" (A little jealous are we, darlin?). He laughed as he felt her react.

T'Pol tensed. She wasn't sure if she was more distraught over the fact that she had failed to control her reaction or this new annoying habit Trip had of speaking to her in Vulcan when in public. She had no argument to make about this behavior as no one else understood what he said to her, so she could not argue it was improper.

It didn't take her long. "I concede your point." Was all she could say, not at all happy about losing to him. Where had this ability to use her own logic against her come from? And when her emotions gave him an opening, he capitalized on it rather quickly. It was good that his confidence was growing, but she wasn't sure she liked the fact that it enabled him win their disagreement so easily. She rather liked being at an advantage.

After much give and take a new design was created to incorporate the lining of the old catsuit like uniform, in black to match the Starfleet issue shirt, and a much more tailored Starfleet uniform, so it didn't fit like a sack. The quartermaster was sure many of the females officers would begin requesting alterations of their own uniforms once T'Pol began sporting hers. They also had Vulcan robes made for each of them that were of a lighter weight material and more representative of Starfleet.

---

_Enterprise_ was to be at Jupiter Station for another two months being refitted and restocked. Most of the crew was still aboard ship assisting the station crews with preparations to reequip the ship before they were granted leave. Trip and T'Pol had only spoken to Malcolm as Trip had arranged for a weekly transmission with his friend to consult. Jon had been tied up in debriefs at headquarters since they arrived. The party Trip had promised was being planned. It was to be in 2 weeks, just before everyone headed off for shore leave.

Trip could avoid it no longer. He and T'Pol were taking two weeks off starting the night of the party and he needed to contact his family. He'd put this off so long that if he continued his parents would never forgive him for being planetside and not contacting them. He hadn't seen them in over a year.

The transmission went through to his parents home. "Hey Mom. How are you?"

"We're fine. Please tell me you're coming home on leave soon." His mother sounded almost desperate.

"Actually, I'm calling to let you know I've been transferred to San Francisco. I want you, Dad, and John to come see me. I have some time off in 2 weeks, so we'll be able to spend a couple of days together." He decided telling them about T'Pol was better done in person. She'd be there for moral support and he could figure out exactly what to say by then. If they came the day before the party and stayed a couple of days after then he and T'Pol could spend the rest of the time alone together.

"I'm so glad you're not going to be flying around out in space if we're really going to war again." Relief shown on her face.

"So am I. Not much of a soldier." Trip left it at that. No point in letting his folks know what atrocities he'd seen. "I'm not sure where I'll be staying. Looking at places to live, so I might have a new address soon. I'll let you know in a couple of days." Am older couple they'd met had a house just north of Ocean Beach they were going to look at. It sounded promising.

"We'll be waiting. Take care of yourself." His mother said as she ended the transmission.

T'Pol moved closer to her husband. "You have not told them of me?"

"No. I'll tell them when they get here." Trip rubbed the side of his head. He didn't know why he kept avoiding the subject with his parents. It just seemed easier somehow.

"You are being very immature." T'Pol pointed out. Whatever was making him apprehensive he had kept it from her. At first she worried that it might be because she was Vulcan, but while he seemed to think his parents might be surprised he was sure they wouldn't be upset.

"I don't remember you being so upfront about me to your mother either." He still wondered if her mother would have insisted on her marriage to Koss if T'Pol had introduced him as more than her work colleague.

"The situation was completely different." T'Pol wanted to change the subject. Speculating about the outcome of that time served no purpose and could only cause hurt feelings.

"Not that much different." Trip knew it was irrelevant. They were married and bondmates now and he had to figure out the best way to break the news to his folks.

----

The morning was spent going over the final stages of the upgrades to the Warp Dev facility. The military had previously occupied the site as had other aeronautical firms. Security had little to do, but add sensors and cameras to the perimeter, while the engineering crews upgraded the existing structure to met the specs the new commanding officers had signed off on. The first day of operation would be just under a month away. Trip and T'Pol were going over the list of engineers who had applied to be transferred to the new project.

"Captain Tucker, you didn't tell me party planning would be included in my duties." Commander Nielson complained.

"Nielson, it's Captain or Tucker not both. And it's the last time I promise. We'll have Burke in the office soon. He'll be responsible for social events." Starfleet frowned on his casual use of last names, but it worked for him and he wasn't going to change it now. He added rank only when there was a superior officer around.

"This music situation is a nightmare. Maybe I should get a hold of whoever plans this stuff at Headquarters." The suggestions he had so far were all over the place, from classical to the more modern sounds younger people enjoyed.

Trip shook his head emphatically. "Please no. We really don't want a stuffy old band like the one at the celebration when we returned from the expanse. Find a group who can play a variety of styles and hire them." Trip remembered how bored most of the _Enterprise_ crew was. It couldn't be that hard to find a decent band.

"I'll do my best, but you owe me for this." Commander Neilson couldn't wait till his department was up and running. Booking bands, hiring caterers, and planning for the arrival of 150-200 guest was not something he ever wanted anything to do with again.

"I could have left you over at R&D buddy. Planning one party isn't too much to ask is it?" Tucker was teasing him, but also knew he'd stop complaining. Scott had taken that transfer for personal reasons not to advance his career. The work was okay, but he was bored most of the time. Now he had the chance to use his engineering skills with little interference from his commanding officers if he got the job done. Being successful would enhance his career possibilities inside or outside of Starfleet.

T'Pol had started out the door on the way to their appointment to see a house and giving him grief for delaying their departure. "I have to go. Let me know if you need my help with anything." It was good to be in charge sometimes.

"You still owe me, Tucker. By the way, Starfleet finally agreed to pay for your little party. Seems Captain Archer has a few more promotions planned and added his name to your request as a way to celebrate with his crew."

---

In the midst of all the meetings and planning the newly married couple enjoyed the freedom of being in a secluded, private guest house and exploring the area in and around Ocean Beach and San Diego. The town itself seemed to be a throwback to a much earlier time. There were no big shopping centers or malls. All the businesses were locally owned and operated. And the people were diverse and open-minded. The inter-species couple could walk the streets and no one bothered them. Starfleet had reservations about the distance from San Francisco, but with a shuttlepod the trip took less than 10 minutes. On the local transit system it only took 30 minutes.

The house they were walking through was across from the beach. Perfect for Trip, who had not yet found time to scuba dive, but had already looked into renting the gear he'd need until he he could have his belongings shipped from his parents house. The couple who owned it had moved to a smaller house closer to town and wanted to sell the house and payoff the mortgage.

T'Pol liked the house almost immediately. Trip didn't even have to ask, he felt it. That gut feeling he often listened to was comfortable here. The floor plan was open in the main living area. The only divisions were the fireplace in the center, that was circular and open to the entire area and the half wall/counter designating the kitchen area.

Trip followed T'Pol around as she examined the rooms. At some point he started just observing her. Seeing her eyes clear and calm he tuned into the sensations from inside. T'Pol had tried to suppress her emotions, but they would not be buried. He stood back, eyes closed, and let them wash over his being. These were the moments he lived for. When T'Pol was totally at ease with him and the world around her.

No overwhelming emotions, no conflict, no need to hide, just pure happiness. She wouldn't identify it as such. Vulcans weren't happy. They were content and appreciative. Trip would never say anything to her for fear she would become self-conscious and erect barriers to keep her sense of control intact. He took on her wants as his own so she could deny them to herself, understanding he would never get past her Vulcan mindset, nor should he try, to convince her that it was okay to desire things. For her to do that she would have to give free rein to very powerful emotions to drive that passion and for a Vulcan that could be extremely destructive. By the time they were standing in the back yard the decision had been made, silently between them.

---

Trip moved from mattress to mattress flopping down across each. T'Pol stood there watching her human husband behave in a very undignified manner. Trip sat on the edge of the last bed in the row he had just tested.

"Do you like the bed hard or soft?" Trip thought about what he liked. He really didn't know. He'd left home where mom and dad picked the furniture in his room then went to the dorm room at college, then Starfleet. As he considered this it dawned on him he had no idea what T'Pol liked either. What colors did she like? Did she have a favorite color? She told him once she liked the color of his eyes. As close as they were there was still so much they didn't know about each other.

T'Pol hadn't answered him. Her hands were clasped behind her back and she was staring strangely at him. "Darlin, are you okay?" He waited to see if her toe would start tapping on the floor like his mothers did when she became exasperated with him.

"We are becoming the center of attention." She was uncomfortable when people focused on them.

They'd never been out shopping together before unless they were on a mission. T'Pol had always been in control and confident. She'd kept him safe and reminded him not to project his values on others. But this wasn't a mission, it was supposed to be fun. "Who cares? How are we supposed to pick a bed if we don't try them out?" He asked with a wicked grin as he moved and continued to bounce on the beds, ignoring the gawkers. Their security team would keep them away.

"We are in uniform, which makes us representatives of Starfleet. We must act accordingly." That Vulcan sense of duty required her to always be professional.

She didn't know how to just be T'Pol out shopping for the afternoon. He stood and moved closer to her reaching out with his fingers to calm her. "Can you just ignore them and help me find a bed?" The uniforms did tend to draw more attention to the Vulcan/human couple. The security team was in plain clothes to avoid that very problem.

"Perhaps we should do this at another time."

"C'mon, darlin please." He used his most pleading tone. Living in Billy's guest house had been great, but a month was enough. He really wanted to move into their own house and they needed a bed. He could suggest they use Starfleet issue sleeping bags and sit on the floor for a couple of days. Maybe that would convince her to keep looking.

The words barely left his mouth when he heard a loud voice screaming "Look mommy that's Trip Tucker from _Enterprise_." The young boy that voice came from began jumping up and down pointing at Trip. Being recognized was a normal occurrence around San Francisco. Every school aged child had been on field trips to Starfleet where the pictures of the _Enterprise_ crew were prominently displayed. They had also seen numerous news stories about the now famous heroes who saved Earth.

As quietly as he could Trip spoke to the officer. "Major Talas I'd like to meet that young man. But tell him he has to stop yelling." It was all Trip could think of to prevent the commotion from drawing more attention to them.

The major lowered her hand, removing it from it location over the weapon, inside her jacket, as she moved toward the boy and his mother. She leaned down and whispered to the young man. He stopped screaming and took off at a dead run toward Tucker before his mom's arm had a chance to reach him.

Before Trip realized the child had launched himself upward, 40 lbs of force hit him square in the chest sending them both backwards onto a mattress. Once the shock wore off Trip sensed a vibration in the bond. T'Pol chuckled internally quite involuntarily. Major Talas and Lieutenant Logan were both standing at the side of the bed. Logan's mouth was gaping in an expression of disbelief. Talas was stoic as ever, but stunned. They were charged with protecting their superiors and this child had just assaulted their Captain. He was jumping on Tucker's chest firing questions and laughing, as was Trip. T'Pol had hoped that being out of space would end her mates streak of attracting attention and trouble that usually led to accidents and/or injury. She must remember to ask his parents if he had always had such luck.

"Shawn James Dawson, get off him and stand up." The embarrassed mother ordered as she attempted to pull her son off of Trip. Her son had tuned her out, but the authority in the voice wakened the years of discipline ingrained in the Starfleet officer, who reacted almost immediately.

Captain Tucker jumped up planting the young boy's feet firmly on the floor next to him as he automatically stood at attention. Young Mr. Dawson, being in awe of the officer, mimicked his behavior and stood ramrod straight facing his mother. Only when Trip felt the amusement through his connection to T'Pol did the ridiculousness of the scene sink in. Relaxing his posture he introduced himself to Mrs. Dawson then sat down to talk to Shawn. While the two discussed space travel and the Xindi T'Pol walked around testing the mattresses with her palm. T'Pol forced herself to relax. That emotional, fun-loving little boy side of her husband was special. She thought that part of him had been lost once and she had missed it. For the first time she asked herself why she now tried so hard to make him repress it.

After they made a selection of a bed they moved on to find the rest of the furniture they needed. Soon Trip was bouncing around from couch to couch. T'Pol sat down on the end of each when he requested it. Expressing her like or dislike as they went without quashing her mates enthusiasm. She found if she focused on the pleasure he was experiencing she forgot they were being observed by others.

----

Trip came bounding out of the bedroom clutching the ends of a towel around his waist bouncing across the living room on tiptoes as if he were trying not to leave wet footprints on the carpet. "Darlin, what's taking so long. My wallets on the floor by the couch. You promised you'd be right back ...."

T'Pol was standing at the door looking like a statue. Trip's heart stopped. "Hi Mom, Hi Dad." He didn't say anything to John, who was roaring with laughter jabbing his finger into the air in his big brother's direction.

"Damn, what are you doing here?" Trip pulled the towel tighter around his waist "Come on in." He told his family.

Feeling a little under dressed in front of his parents Trip jumped back when his mother moved towards him for a hug. "Mom I'm in a towel." Embarrassed he quickly headed for their room. "We'll be right back. Darlin, you coming?"

Once his parents were inside and seated on the couch she followed him. "You were rude to your parents."

"They're lucky I didn't say something worse. They're two days early." What the hell were they thinking? This was not the way he wanted to introduce his wife to his family.

"They are still your parents and this is your own fault. If you had told them about me they might not have decided to surprise you." T'Pol let all her frustration come through.

Seeing T'Pol had her pajamas on he asked for her help. "Can you please find me a pair of sweats? I only have my underwear here." That's what he usually wore around the house in the evenings. And finding their clothes took time because everything was still in boxes and suitcases as no dressers had been delivered yet.

Handing T'Pol a robe as he took in her bare midriff, "You need to put this on or I'll never get my mind out of the shower." Thinking about finishing their previous activity in the shower would be distracting to say the least and he needed to be in full control while talking to his parents.

Stepping into the sweats Trip entered the living room as the doorbell rang. T'Pol walked to the kitchen to make tea. He scanned the room for his wallet finding it on the floor near the door where T'Pol must have dropped it.

Setting the food down on the counter with the extra plates and chopsticks, the boy had given him when he saw their guests, Trip stilled, pushed his fingers together and took several deep breaths, pushing his anxiety down. When he faced his parents his face was blank. "I hope everybody likes Chinese." They'd been sort of camping out so ordered extra so it would last a couple of days.

His father's eyes hadn't left T'Pol who had her back to them. Trip wasn't quite sure what the expression on his mother's face was, but it wasn't good.

Trip sat on one of the stools pushed up to the counter as he spoke through the bond. "_Darlin, you need to come out here so I can introduce you." _

He'd never known her to be embarrassed. He didn't think Vulcans let things like this bother them. He sure hoped she didn't start now because he was embarrassed enough for them both.

T'Pol moved to stand next to her mate, waiting for him to say something.

"Mom, Dad, this is T'Pol. I think I've mentioned her a few times in my letters or when we talked." Most recently her name would have come up when he called them to tell them about baby Elizabeth.

He took a deep breath. "T'Pol these are my parents. Charles Tucker Jr. and Beth Tucker."

His brother was behind their parents, leaning against the wall with his arms across his chest, smiling from ear to ear holding in his laughter. "Oh, and that smart ass over there is my brother John."

Realizing his parents had yet to say anything John walked toward them. "Got anything to drink in this place. I think we're all gonna need something to take the edge off." Oh it felt good to see his hero big brother on the spot with Mom and Dad. He's so flustered he's forgotten his manners. John mouthed, "Go give Mom hug." knowing she'd be upset if he didn't.

Trip considered John's suggestion but decided if he did he'd be pulled down on the couch between his parents and he wasn't ready for an inquisition yet. So he offered them food instead. "We don't have anything besides coffee, tea, and water to drink, but we do have dinner. Is anybody hungry?"

As he picked up one of the containers a thought struck him. "How did you get past the gate?" It had taken over an hour to get each of the delivery boys checked out before they were allowed past the security team outside and one of them should have escorted them to the door.

Charles Tucker responded. "If you mean how'd we get by that big Vulcan guy out there, he seemed to know who we were and let us by. Why would you need to have security here? Has someone tried to attack you?"

"No one's tried to do anything. There were threats after the whole Terra Prime mess, so we're just making sure no one gets hurt." Trip hadn't really lied, but he minimized the threats. He then made a mental note to talk to their security detail. They had communicators and should have warned him of his parents arrival.

Charles again concentrated his stare on T'Pol. "So Trip is there something you maybe forgot to tell us?" He wasn't sure if the Vulcan lived here or just came for the night, but she seemed real comfortable here in her pajamas and robe.

"Well, there's a lot I need to explain, but let's have dinner first. I skipped lunch and I'm hungry." He began putting food on his plate. "All we have for dishes are what we borrowed from Starfleet." Malcolm informed them that some of the crew had wedding presents for them, so he suggested they hold off on buying household items until after the party. Trip assumed they could eat out until they had dishes of their own, so they only bought furniture. And the rest of that wasn't due to be delivered until tomorrow. Beds, the couch, 4 stools, and a coffee table were all they had.

After dinner Trip helped T'Pol clear away the mess and put the leftovers in the refrigeration unit. Once done they sat on the floor across from the elder Tuckers. John had located cups and brought them and a bowl with ice in it to the table. He then opened a suitcase and handed his brother a wrapped gift. "Merry Christmas. It's a little late, but I thought you were going to be home." _Enterprise_ was scheduled to be at Jupiter Station just after the holidays, but then they were delayed several weeks checking on the deep space stations.

Trip opened the bottle before offering it to John. T'Pol never complained if he had a drink or two with Captain Archer, but he avoided it most times. She never felt the effects of alcohol herself, but she did suffer the effect it had on him. The last time being their wedding night. He decided tonight he should relax without alcohol. His wife disagreed. She took one of the glasses from the table, added some ice, and presented it to John. Silently signaling he should pour some of the bourbon into it before handing it to Trip.

Trip emptied the glass in one swallow. "Have a seat John." Waiting for the younger Tucker to get comfortable Trip started formulating the words in his head. "I'm not sure where to start."

T'Pol was being unusually quiet and the bond was very still. But then they were his parents and he'd been the one who avoided talking to them for a year. It served him right and he should be the one to deal with the fallout.

Beth Tucker looked at her son. "You could start by telling us about your friend T'Pol. Do you and she live here together?"

"Yes, we live here and we are together. This is our house. We bought it a few days ago." Give them a little bit at at time.

"How could you buy a house like this?" Beth moved her eyes around the place as she asked. She knew it had to cost more than Trip could afford. And why had he decided to buy a house in California? When he said he was looking for a place they assumed he would be renting a small house or apartment.

"Being in Starfleet and then in space we didn't have a lot of expenses, so when Lizzie got that job in Pensacola she introduced me to her financial guy and he helped me set up some investments." Trip saw both of his parent wince at the mention of his sister's name. They were still not over her death. "Never really knew what I was going to do with the money, but Lizzie insisted so I went along.".......He paused for a second. "T'Pol had money of her own and her mom died recently, so we had more than enough to buy the house." Trip listened for any sign from T'Pol that he was discussing things she was not comfortable with. Nothing.

Charles looked troubled. "So you're making California your home now? You're not going to come back to Florida?"

He couldn't live in Florida. He loved his parents, but he couldn't be around them and their grief. There were too many reminders there of things better left at rest. "Our work is here. We're both Captains in Starfleet. We start working on developing and building the next warp drive and starship in a couple of weeks." Trip hadn't even told them about his promotion. He was on a roll so now the big news. "T'Pol and I work together, live together, but we're also married." He waited for the explosion.

And it came from Mrs. Tucker. "What do you mean you're married? How could you get married without even telling us?" Beth yelled horrified.

Trip kept his voice level and controlled. "We were on Vulcan and the High Council thought it would be best if we got married according to Vulcan tradition, so we did. I wish we could have invited you, but we were 16 light years away at the time." That was as good an excuse as he could come up with and he knew it wouldn't make them any less upset.

"You didn't even tell us you were dating anyone." Beth pointed out, angrily.

"We were...we...." Trip didn't know what to say. He couldn't tell them about the bond or the unofficial marriage. Why had he let this situation with his parents get so out of hand?

"Mrs. Tucker Vulcans don't date. We only become involved with someone if it is meant to be a life-long relationship." T'Pol felt sorry for her bondmate. There was so much he couldn't explain and so much he wouldn't want to.

"T'Pol." Everyone heard John say her name. "Didn't you have have a husband? They talked about you after the attack on the Embassy. Something about your husband...." He wagged his finger trying to think of something else. "....and that's when your Mom was killed."

News reporters must have gained access to T'Pol's records somewhere. It couldn't have been on Vulcan. They wouldn't let a human near such information, so someone on Earth must be leaking information and his brother had to remember it now. "There was a marriage but it wasn't meant to be permanent. It was only to keep her Mom out of prison. The ceremony was a legal thing like getting married in front of a judge instead of a minister would be here on Earth." Trip smiled as T'Pol gave her approval. It was not exactly factual, but it made the point. "She and I became friends and then things got more serious and we got married."

"So is this a legal marriage on Earth?" John, the paralegal, really wanted to know and he was sure his parents were asking themselves the same question.

"It's legal." Trip wasn't totally sure that was true, but he really didn't care. They were married. Besides if Daniels was right and the Federation was going to be formed in 2161 then it would be when Vulcan joined.

"You're a Captain, you've been transferred to Earth, you're married to a Vulcan, your wedding was on Vulcan, you're going to live in California, and you bought a house. Is there anything else you forgot to tell us?" There were many emotions expressed while Charles listed the things his son had not told them about, but anger was the most obvious.

He blurted out the only positive thing that came to mind. "There's a party to celebrate all those things with the crew of _Enterprise_ on Saturday." He hoped this would appease them a little. He left out that they were only committed to Starfleet for 5 more years and had no idea what they would do after that.

Beth's body visibly relaxed, but Charles clearly still had things on his mind.

"So how long before Starfleet transfers you back to a starship?" Charles assumed they had been transferred to build the warp drive and then would be back in space.

Trip looked to T'Pol. "We're not ever going back into space." He remembered their earlier discussion about visiting Vulcan and other places they'd visited but never had time to really see anything of and amended that statement. "Well, we might go on vacation and do some traveling, but not for Starfleet." Trip hoped they'd understand and let it drop.

"You're a Captain and Starfleet's not going to give you a ship?" John knew Trip always wanted his own ship.

Trip looked at his brother. "We made a deal with them and they promised we would never be forced to go back into space. I thought I wanted to command my own ship, but after seeing what it's really like I changed my mind." Seeing what it had done to Captain Archer made the decision to give up that dream easy. "And being on a ship made our being together too complicated, so we left." It also endangered everyone around them and threatened to expose some of Vulcans most guarded secrets. But he couldn't explain any of that.

"What was it like out there? It's been pretty great being the brother to the big war hero. I can only imagine how it's been for you two." John thought about the girls who'd been interested in getting to know the brother of the Starfleet officer who saved Earth. Being famous had it's perks.

T'Pol actually cringed internally. Trip felt it and understood exactly how she felt. His expression became very serious. "Listen, we're not going to talk about what happened in the expanse. Most of it was awful and we'd rather just forget it. The press coverage about us was a nightmare. We got recognized and hounded everywhere we went. Still do sometimes. We just want to do our jobs and have a nice quiet life, so we avoid the press. So far we've been lucky, but no one really knows we're together. When they find out it could attract the wrong kind of attention." They both knew it would get out, but they weren't going to do anything to hasten the process.

"Would those groups who want all the aliens to leave Earth really come after you?" Beth was beginning to get worried. There'd been several reports about the attacks outside the courthouse during the trials of Paxton and his followers. The authorities discovered there were several splinter groups that formed when Terra Prime was being investigated.

"They might, but that's why we have security. The Vulcans are protecting us and so is Starfleet." Trip could feel that T'Pol needed to go meditate. "Look it's getting late and we need some sleep. How 'bout I show you to your rooms and we can talk more in the morning. We'll have some time before we have to be at our first meeting." That meeting was with Soval at the Vulcan Consulate. What to do with his family for the next two days was a problem better solved after they meditated and slept.

Again John came to his brothers aid. He picked up his parents bags and headed down the hall in the direction Trip pointed. When the brothers were both safely out of hearing Trip scolded John. "You could have let me know they were coming."

"I would have, but they showed up at my door and said we were going now. I grabbed my suitcase and here we are. What did you expect? You haven't been in touch in months and now we find out you've got this whole life we knew nothing about." John was certain his mom had sensed something when she spoke to Trip. It explained why she seemed so nervous since his call.

Trip voice got very quiet. "There was a lot going on. Then after Elizabeth and Terra Prime, I kinda fell apart. If it hadn't been for T'Pol and my friend Malcolm I don't know what would have happened." He knew he'd have fallen into that black hole of depression, grief, and anger and stayed there without their help.

"Give 'em time they'll be okay, but no more surprises. They don't bounce back quite as fast as they used to since Lizzie." John got a far away look in his eyes.

"How are you since Lizzie?" Trip and his brother hadn't talked about Lizzie. They'd never been as close as Trip and Lizzie were.

"I miss her everyday, but I'm better. Mom's still a wreck about her. Dad's not much better, but he tries to talk about her sometimes. Maybe we can talk about her while I'm here, so it doesn't feel like she never existed." No pictures were allowed, he kept the one picture he had out of sight in his own place, and no one ever mentioned Lizzie. For the most part his parents acted as if there had never been a Lizzie.

"We can talk about her as much as you need to. T'Pol listens to me talk about her, but it not the same because she never knew or loved her."

----

When Charles and Beth came out of their room Trip was speaking to the Ensign who recently took over as their office assistant. He missed the reaction of his father when he saw the Vulcan robes he and T'Pol were dressed in. John questioned Trip about the Starfleet design the garments had while observing they seemed exotic. When T'Pol mentioned the requirement for Vulcan citizens to wear Vulcan attire, out of respect for their culture, when visiting any Vulcan held territory, she felt her new in-laws clamp down on their emotions. Both were upset, but fought to keep these feelings to themselves. When T'Pol sensed these emotions Trip also sensed them turning to face his parents as they each filled the coffee cups they were holding.

"_I'll talk to them later, darlin. They'll talk if we're alone."_ Feeling her apprehension rising Trip tried to keep her calm. He should have known his wearing Vulcan robes could possibly be upsetting to his parents.

"_Your parents are upset about our robes." _Her mate had assured her that his parents would not be upset because she was Vulcan, but he had been wrong.

"_T'Pol please stay calm. Don't jump to conclusions. Wait until I can talk to them." _He knew he was asking the impossible. T'Pol was extremely protective of him and if she thought she had come between him and his family she would become irrational. Pointing this out to her accomplished nothing but making her angry at him. The morning was not going well.

The restaurant was near the Consulate. Ensign Burke recommended it saying they served both Vulcan and human cuisine and the fact that he was wearing a Vulcan robe would not be an issue. His family each ordered their meal while T'Pol ordered tea stating she was not hungry when Trip asked why she had not ordered breakfast.

Trip ordered his vegetarian breakfast with an extra helping, placing the plate between himself and his wife. He served himself on a smaller plate and watched, hiding his smile, as T'Pol snuck small forkfuls of his breakfast. She was so centered on not being noticed that she failed to realize what he'd done.

Charles tapped Beth's arm pointing out the mixture of greetings their son and his wife received walking through the Consulate. Trip and T'Pol walked side by side down the corridor as Vulcans they encountered either nodded affirmatively showing what Charles perceived as acceptance of the couple while others tried to ignore their presence, showing their disgust. As they reached the reception area T'Pol extended her fingers to Trip before heading off down the corridor to the infirmary. The appearance of her in-laws made it necessary to refill her nasal inhibitor for use at home. Something she no longer did when it was just her and Trip. Once they were bonded his scent was no longer objectionable.

The gesture reminded the elder Tucker there were questions he wished to ask his son. Except for that finger touching Trip maintained a certain distance between himself and his wife. The distance between them was far less than the distance she required between herself and others, but still they never touched one another. That his son didn't even attempt to touch her seemed odd. Beth had pointed out that while they didn't touch there was a certain intimacy between them. To Charles this seemed like some romantic fantasy his wife had made up to make herself feel better about the lack of physical closeness they'd observed.

Trip then took his family to the commissary. First he spoke to the clerk T'Lek. Vulcans had parents too. Trip was counting on that when he explained his dilemma because they had arrived unannounced and asked the young Vulcan to assist his family if they needed it while he and T'Pol met with Soval. Then he found an empty table and sat down, inviting his family to join him.

"T'Pol and I have to meet with the Ambassador. While we're there you can look around the shops in this corridor. If you want anything just let T'Lek know and he'll charge it to our account." Trip paused waiting for any questions they might have.

Not wanting to turn them loose amongst the Vulcans without some knowledge he gave them a mini lesson on etiquette. "I need to tell you a few things. First, Vulcans don't like to be touched. They are empaths and it is physically uncomfortable to be blasted with others emotions that way, so be careful." That's what Trip had believed about Vulcans, like most others did, until he got to know T'Pol and a few other Vulcans better.

"Is that why you don't touch your wife?" Charles finally asked.

"Vulcans only touch in public when it's necessary. It's just not done and it makes T'Pol uncomfortable, so yeah that's why we don't touch in public." Knowing they had seen the ozh'esta he explained. "Touching your fingers together is the only acceptable touch between married couples. It's like a human kiss to them." It was so much more, but he figured that should be enough to ease their discomfort.

"And you're okay with that? I can't imagine not being able to touch your mother just because there are other people around." Looking at Beth Charles remembered her chastising him for his lack of discretion when expressing his desire for her, in public, when they were first married.

"We've had to make compromises. She lets me be an overly emotional human and I don't make her uncomfortable by touching her in public. It's just one of those things couples have to work out with each other." Having skipped the dating or getting to know you phase of both human and Vulcan mating left them bonded, married, and still working out those compromises. It had seemed unthinkable not so long ago that he'd agree to not touching, but now it seemed natural.

Charles seizing the opportunity to ask his son questions kept going. "So why are you wearing a robe to come here, but we don't have to?"

"I'm married to a Vulcan citizen, so that makes me a Vulcan citizen and subject to their rules." Beth seemed to take this news well, but Charles seemed confused and unhappy. Trip sensed his parents emotions. He'd thought this was due to T'Pol's abilities, but with her on the other side of the complex he knew this couldn't be the case now. He could hear other telepaths, if his shields were down, and sometimes sensed strong emotions from empaths, but not this clearly. Maybe it was because they were family.

"So what, that makes you a Vulcan now? Doesn't that make working for Starfleet more difficult if you have a conflict between Earth and Vulcan? Can't be loyal to both." When had Trip become so open and comfy with Vulcans? What happened if Earth and Vulcan ended up on opposite sides in this war or Vulcan refused to help again?

"Dad, in case you haven't noticed we're in a Vulcan consulate on Earth. We're allies and any conflicts we may have can be worked out together. We have too much at stake to be worrying about petty differences between us." Trip was angry that his father felt he was being disloyal to Earth by holding dual citizenship.

"I saw the looks you got when we came in here this morning. There are a lot of Vulcans who don't like it that you and T'Pol are together." Charles wanted Trip to consider whether it was worth being with a Vulcan if it meant being despised by so many others.

"There are just as many people here on Earth who don't like it either. Hell our daughter died because a bunch of crazies wanted to prevent inter-species relationships. We both knew that when we decided to be together and I'm sorry if that concerns you, but that's just the way it is. We're together and nothing is going to change that. Not even you." Trip saw his father's startled reaction and he was sorry he'd been so abrupt, but his father struck a nerve and he wanted him to know that. If it came down to T'Pol or his safety or even his family's disapproval his decision had already been irrevocably made.

Charles studied his son for a moment. This was not the boy he'd sent off to Starfleet. He was confident and determined. His choices were his own and he was prepared to suffer the consequences of those choices. He caught a flicker of something dark in the boy's eyes, that hadn't been there before, but it had disappeared quickly. The last 4 or 5 years had matured his son and he no longer sought his father's approval. It's what they had raised him to do, but it didn't make it any easier to accept. "I just want you to be sure you're doing the right thing. I can see that T'Pol is very important to you, but I want you to be safe." Losing another child would be more than he could bear.

"T'Pol is the most important thing in the world to me and I promise we're doing everything we can to be safe. We're not making public announcements but we're not going to hide away somewhere just so nobody will be upset either." They'd tried keeping things secretive and it didn't work for very long.

Trip's comm unit sounded. "Captain Tucker I have a message from Tellar. One of their engineers managed to break through our security and sent you an encoded message. Apparently only you can access the contents, sir. It's marked urgent." Ensign Burke informed the Captain.

"Can you forward it to me here. Use the secure channel and set up a meeting for T'Pol and I with security later today. Also contact Commander Reed and tell him I need to speak to him before he calls it a day." How had an engineer on Tellar breached security? He needed Malcolm's advice on that and several other problems. He needed to be sure he was still coming to dinner with them the next night to officially meet his family.

The engineer from Tellar had made a discovery about the interference being experienced in the motion sensors of all the starships in the quadrant. He wished to speak to Captain Tucker about his findings. Trip kept trying to think where he'd heard the name of the engineer before. T'Pol filled in the blank telling him he was on the list of engineers from Tellar who wished to be trained on Earth. Lieutenant Rija had not been selected, but maybe they needed to reconsider. He obviously was a better engineer than he had appeared to be on paper.

After Trip contacted the Lieutenant his name was added to the list of engineers coming to Earth. It seemed the low-tech sensors on Tellar ships were able to track the blips and Rija was convinced the Romulans were experimenting with adapting cloaking technology to probes in order to monitor the activities in the Alpha Quadrant and the blips occurred when they moved. He just needed time and some assistance to make modifications that would make the current sensors more sensitive and able to locate cloaked ships and probes.

While discussing his refit of the dilithium-matrix power converter and the nacelles for the Daedalus class starships he had completed, with Minister Kumak, he brought up the subject of the Tellarites discovery. The idea had merit and Kumak told Tucker the Vulcans would appreciate being included in the further study of the Tellarite sensors. Trip had no problem with this. He would continue to communicate with Minister Kumak and the engineers on Vulcan to share information.

Minister Kumak listened to all Tucker had to say. He had thought the human engineer was very talented, but now saw his greatest strength to be his ability to work with others. He gave credit to those who shared their ideas with him and he openly shared his own ideas with them. Tucker had also gotten an Andorian and a Tellarite Ambassador stationed on Earth to better facilitate communication between the members of the Coalition. Soval had tried to tell the High Council that this effort could be the first step in a true collaboration between the Coalition members, but few had believed him. They thought he'd spent too many years amongst humans making his assertions suspect. Kumak determined closer observation of the situation was needed before any decisions could be made. He found it refreshing to be dealing with more than the normal politicians and diplomats.

His parents were impressed with Starfleet Headquarters. They received a tour of the complex and saw all the displays on _Enterprise_s missions over the last several years. Malcolm and Trip had started to watch these slide show presentations of their missions, but found it impossible. They marveled at how most of their missions were included, but facts had been altered or completely omitted. The creative writers Starfleet employed could have been writing movie scripts instead of mission reports. Even with the Xindi mission they romanticized space exploration to the point of making it seem fun and exciting and almost completely danger free. He still had a hard time reconciling this with believing those who chose to venture out into space in the name of exploration needed to be made aware of the realities they would face. But those were thoughts for another time. Anyone signing up to go into space right now knew exactly what was out there. The Romulans.

----

Captain Tucker spent the rest of the day making sure all the arrangements for the party were in order and that all the final work on the warp facility would be completed while they were on vacation. While he tried to concentrate on these tasks his attention was split worrying about the shopping excursion his parents had taken his wife on. He agreed to let them go, but only after making T'Pol promise she would not let his mother talk her into buying anything with pastel colors or flowers. They could have all the real plants and flowers she wanted, but please no flowery patterns anywhere. T'Pol reminded him that they could return anything he did not like after his parents left for home. How was it that he could handle a roomful of Admirals or diplomats, but his mate spending an afternoon with his parents had him tied up in knots.

Trip had been feeling T'Pol's edginess for an hour or so. She had forcefully centered all her attention on her emotions, but they still bled through. He'd tried to send her calm and understanding only to be shut out. She often did that when she needed to keep herself from being distracted and losing control. It worried him that she was having this much difficulty. What could possibly be causing her this much distress? He needed to keep his mind busy so his emotions didn't add to her already frazzled state.

He and Commander Neilson were watching the final pieces being set in place in the assembly area. The engineers had all the equipment in and were doing the last of the connections and running power into the buildings. Scott had been explaining the last stages of all the installations going on, but Trip was no longer listening. There was this pounding in his head that started off as a hiss and had now built to the level of a drum line beating away. It took everything he had to keep from screaming out in pain, but he kept pushing the pain away trying to focus enough to determine where T'Pol was and what had brought this on.

Just as he turned to leave. "Captain Tucker." A voice yelled through his comm.

"This is Tucker." Trip mumbled into the unit.

"Sir, I have your Mom. She says you have to come now. Captain T'Pol needs your assistance." The Ensign sounded excited, but not in a good way.

Trip could hear the frantic raving of his mother in the background. He centered himself trying again to get a fix on his wife and exactly what the problem was. "I'll have them transport me there. Do you have the coordinates?"

"Yes, sir. I'll forward them to the transport operator."

Trip materialized in a restroom. T'Pol was seated on the stool in the stall in the far corner chanting words over and over, Trip guessed to center herself. When he reached out to touch her she leaned into his hand as it connected with her cheek. "Are you alright, darlin?"

"I'm sorry. I should not have lost control." He heard her thoughts. _'I lost my composure in front of Trip's family. They are wary of me as his mate. I am now more unworthy in their eyes.'_

He lifted her chin so he could look into her face. "Stop worrying about making a good impression on my family because I don't care what they think of you. You're my wife and there is nothing you could do to make me think you're unworthy."

"They are your parents what they think matters." His touch had alleviated some of her distress.

"Darlin, we're married forever, so even if they hate you what do you think would happen?" Did she really think he'd leave her?

T'Pol just sat there looking up at him. She knew he was her bondmate and always would be. Trip pulled her up into his arms.

"So what happened?" They'd faced extreme situations while in space and a few hours with his mom and dad had her in a total meltdown.

"I do not wish to discuss this now." Avoiding the questions T'Pol began looking around the restroom.

Trip looked around also. "Why'd you pick the bathroom to hide out in?"

"It was the first place I found. This is an usual restroom." Gesturing to the units on the far wall.

"This is the men's room, darlin. Those are urinals." Trip grinned when it became apparent she had no idea what he was talking about. "Never mind, I'll explain it later." He'd been in several buildings on Vulcan and they all had single restrooms. That were unisex. That would make sense. Vulcans are private and that would make the communal nature of this room seem uncivilized.

The implication of this fact made something clear. "That is why your mother did not follow me here." Trip felt her relief at inadvertently seeking refuge in the one place his mother would not follow her.

"So what did my mom do that upset you so much?" Trip began taking on some of her emotions so she could begin to suppress the strongest ones.

Feeling somewhat better and knowing her husband would not rest until she told him she answered. "It was not just your mother. She wished to purchase this thing she said was to hold dishes and 'china' in the dining area." He could sense her questions about what 'china' was. "A woman who said she was there to assist us kept encouraging your mother to persist. Your father tried to convince them that perhaps we should consider other items." Her anxiety level rose. "Others who were shopping became aware of my presence and began commenting about Vulcans. Then several approached us. It all became loud and I could no longer block them out. When it became intolerable I came in here to try to regain my control to prevent myself from hurting someone."

He could feel how upset she was because she had lost control forcing him to come help her. "T'Pol stop that. I'll come help you whenever and wherever you are." He held her tighter. "I take it you don't want the buffet she picked out?"

"No, and I don't think you'd like it either. It's too big for any of the walls in our dining area and we will never have enough dishes to put in it." T'Pol could not fathom how 2 people could need enough dinnerware to fill something so big.

"Okay, I'll see if I can find a table and chairs for the dining room that will make my mom and us happy." Trip moved away from his wife. "Let's go deal with my mom. I'm sorry I didn't insist on coming with you. It won't happen again." Until T'Pol got used to being around large crowds of people Trip would just have to go with her.

T'Pol began to feel the emotions of those around them again. The apprehension rolled off all the Tuckers as they watched the couple exit T'Pol's hiding place. Trip was trying to remain calm. Being angry with them served no purpose. It had been a mistake to abandon his mate to an environment she was not prepared to handle with people she hardly knew and had not established any kind of trust with.

The minute he felt her fingers touch his he turned to her. "T'Pol why don't you transport home and meditate." Trip could feel her control beginning to slip. "I'll be there in a little over an hour. You need to relax before tonight." Dinner with Mal was just what they needed. A friend to help take the pressure off.

Once his wife had dematerialized Trip put his arm around Beth's waist moving her toward the section of the store he wanted her in. "Mom, can we find a table and chairs for the dining room? It would really be nice to have somewhere to sit down to eat." Not giving her any opening to push the buffet she wanted them to have. And letting the whole incident go. For his parents, but mostly for T'Pol. She felt bad enough without having to discuss and defend herself.

He really wanted to avoid any discussions about traditional furnishings in a southern home. He was afraid he'd end up offending his mother's taste. But he'd have to make his mom understand that a set of 'china' for them would be a waste. The thought of them having big, formal dinners using such formal items like china and silverware was almost funny. No formal dinnerware meant no need for some monstrosity to store them in. Formal just wasn't his style. And T'Pol, well he couldn't even get his mind to form a mental picture of that.

Beth Tucker was a formidable woman. Very strong-willed and very southern. She was raised to believe her husband was the head of the family but a woman ruled her household.

"Trip, I don't understand what happened. We were picking out furniture and discussing a new set of china and T'Pol just walked away and went into the men's room." Beth first thought maybe she had gotten ill.

"She'll be fine Mom. Just a little too much excitement with all the shopping and everybody watching her."

"I thought Vulcans didn't get emotional or upset? Is there something wrong with her?"

"Some things happened while we were on _Enterprise_ that just made things harder for her. On Vulcan you can walk most anywhere on the planet and its quiet. Other shoppers would never bother you. It's just not like here with all these people and all their emotions hammering away at her." Vulcans shielded their emotions in public and there were no malls or large shopping centers.

"She doesn't seem to know how to make a decision without you. I mean she should be able to furnish your house." Beth never asked Charles when purchasing things for the house.

Trip felt the flash of anger and pushed it down hard. "Mom, T'Pol and I talk about what we want. We seem to have very similar taste, but until we know each other better we've agreed to make choices about furniture together."

"But a woman should run the house and take care of keeping things running smoothly." Beth didn't understand any other way to run a house.

"Mom, we're a team and we work very well together, so let us decide what's best for us. Let's find that table and chairs and get home." Trip kept telling himself she was his mother and he loved her and they'd be gone in a couple more days.

---

Malcolm came to the house early. He spoke with the security team out front and reviewed all the procedures and examined all the equipment that had been installed. Finding no sensors to prevent access from above the house Malcolm had them sent over and installed immediately. Trip found it amusing when the tactical officer arrived, he began ordering his staff around, and they all complied without question. What a difference a few weeks of being in the command structure made.

Trip never understood what Malcolm meant when he described his upbringing as very British and military until he introduced him to his family. This man with whom Trip had become closer to than anyone besides T'Pol transformed before his eyes. He shook hands, making direct eye contact, and made a personal comment to each of them. He must have paid attention when Trip spoke to him about his family. His posture was straight, but very relaxed. He became the perfect gentlemen, putting everyone at ease. That proper, condescending air one usually sensed from him in new situations disappeared. His conversation became light and witty. He told stories about their time on _Enterprise_ and entertained the Tuckers until it was time to change before going to dinner.

At dinner he continued, taking the weight off Trip and T'Pol. Keeping the topics light made the time much more enjoyable for all. He even managed to draw T'Pol into their conversation by asking her about incidents on away missions and talking about the many interactions and disagreements she and Trip had over the years. Malcolm had managed to do in a few hours what Trip hadn't been able to do in days. The stories and conversation gave his family a more complete picture of who T'Pol was and how the friendships of these three officers had come to be. For the first time since the Tuckers arrived Trip relaxed.

When the server failed to come back to their table after taking their desert orders Malcolm went to the bar to get drinks.

"Commander Malcolm Reed. Hi, I'm MacKenzie Smith. I've wanted to meet you since I saw you at that silly press conference after you returned from the expanse last year." The woman strode into Malcolm's space.

A little startled by her directness but still the proper British gentleman Malcolm accepted her outstretched hand. "Nice to meet you Ms. Smith."

"It's MacKenzie. Mac to those people I like." Her gaze never left his eyes.

"Well, then nice to meet you MacKenzie." Malcolm turned and gave his order to the bartender.

MacKenzie continued. "I was right there is more to you than what they show on those ridiculously bad documentaries they keep plastering the airwaves with." She'd seen that glint in his eyes and wondered where it came from.

"Thanks, I guess." Malcolm was taken by surprise. This woman was extremely forward.

"If you're not busy I'd like to get to know you a lot better." MacKenzie had always been bold, but she'd never been this bold.

Downright aggressive Malcolm thought. "I'm sorry, but I'm here with friends. Perhaps some other time." He said as he took his drink and started back towards the table. He didn't want to be rude, but he wasn't going to abandon Trip and T'Pol for a fling.

T'Pol had just finished telling them about shopping for a bed and asked the Tuckers if Trip had always attracted trouble when they were interrupted.

Beth began to answer T'Pol. "He was always the first....."

The woman walked up standing next to the Brit. "I'm sorry I don't mean to intrude, but my friends and I are leaving and I wished to give this to Commander Reed." The young lady handed him a ticket. Malcolm looked at her puzzled. He'd thought she was just one of those star struck females who seemed to be interested due to all the hoopla he and the rest of the _Enterprise_ crew attracted since returning from the expanse.

"If you'd like to continue our discussion from earlier please join me at the concert. I'd really like to get to know the real you, not that idealized version." MacKenzie looked around the table. "Sorry for the interruption. Goodnight and enjoy the rest of your evening."

Malcolm watched her walk away. "Damn cheeky of her." Maybe he should pinch himself. This had to be a dream.

Trip watched Malcolm and couldn't decide if he was offended or attracted to the woman who'd just left. "Who was that Mal?"

"Her name is Mackenzie Smith. Mac to those she likes." That's all he knew about her, but some part of him was tossing around the idea of finding out more. Absently he added. "Introduced herself at the bar."

"So are you going to meet her at the concert?" She would definitely be Mac to Malcolm Trip reasoned judging by her behavior. But knowing Malcolm he wouldn't go meet her.

"I don't know." And he really didn't know. He'd never met a woman who was so brash yet elicited such a strong reaction in the deepest part of him.

Trip and T'Pol noticed how the encounter had unbalanced him. Their unflappable friend was lost in thought trying to make sense out of the breeze that just passed through his life. She'd definitely made a lasting impression.

---

Trip, T'Pol, and Malcolm were all in the kitchen attempting to make breakfast. Beth and Charles started out of their room when they heard the three. They quietly sat down on the couch as they talked and worked together.

The bowl Trip had been breaking eggs into was now full of eggs and tiny bits of shell. "I thought the purpose of breaking the eggs into the bowl was to keep the shells out of the omelettes." T'Pol teased her mate.

"You're the one who said this was easy, so I should be able to do it." Trip fired back as he began trying to fish the pieces of shell out of the bowl. "We should have stuck with the egg substitute. There aren't any shells in that."

"Only a Vulcan could eat that stuff. It's bland even with the added vegetables and meat mixed in." Mal looked through the cupboards. "How am I supposed to make hash browns if you don't have anything to grind the potatoes through. I can't cut them up with a knife." Malcolm complained.

"Just slice them and we can make fried potatoes instead." Trip suggested as he stirred up the egg mixture.

T'Pol had been chopping onions, green pepper, tomatoes, mushrooms, and spinach leaves. Leaving the bacon, ham, and cheese for the guys to chop up.

Malcolm added some parsley and paprika to the potatoes. "If I can't use butter to fry these in what do you use?" Malcolm knew T'Pol didn't eat butter.

"There's 2 different kinds of substitutes in the fridge. We haven't tried them before, so you might want to taste test them before you use them." Trip had picked them up at the store.

Totally changing the subject and catching his friends off guard. "Do you two think I should go to that concert?" Mal asked. He'd been thinking about it since dinner last night.

"You're asking us for advice on your love life. It took us four years to get our own figured out." Trip was surprised Malcolm had asked their opinion and he really did consider himself a really bad choice to ask for any type of relationship advice.

"You started out as friends and worked your way to mates during some pretty difficult times." He saw this fact as a good thing. He'd never had a relationship, until he became friends with Trip then T'Pol, that lasted more than a few weeks. "Am I an idiot for even considering going?"

"Do you like this woman?" T'Pol asked shocking both Trip and Malcolm. She asked if he had feelings?

"I don't know, but there's something. I can't stop thinking about her and that's never happened before." Malcolm had spent time with several girls and while he remembered many of them they hadn't gotten under his skin enough to be all he could think about.

"If you go you would have the chance to see if you like her." T'Pol suggested.

Trip stopped chopping the meat and looked at this wife. "Where was all this relationship wisdom when we were trying to figure things out?"

"Didn't you tell me it's easier to look at other people's problems and see things that you don't see in your own because you are too close." Trip said this about Jon when he was trying to find a way to get him to open up about their time in the expanse.

"Mal, if you like her T'Pol's right. Just go and see what happens. If it's a disaster at least you'll know." Trip wanted him to go if for no other reason than it meant he'd have to step outside of that little box he painted himself into and take a chance.

"Maybe I will." Malcolm thought as the rest of the elder Tuckers came in for coffee and breakfast.

---

When they arrived at the party many of the crew were already there. Malcolm had arranged for Starfleet security in addition to Trip and T'Pol's security staff. Ambassador Soval had insisted on providing additional security from the Consulate, when they invited him to their little get together. Soval declined the invitation stating it was an informal gathering of _Enterprise's_ crew and he would not feel comfortable intruding.

Charles listened as Beth and Jon talked. Jon trying to explain the distance between him and his crew and most especially his lack of closeness with their son. They had been the best of friends when their mission started, but not now. Charles could see there was something wrong between them. Trip still spoke highly of his friend, but there was a distance there and a darkness in both young men that he couldn't explain. Archer had tried to play it down by attributing it to Trip's new assignment, but Charles saw through that immediately. Jon had been invited to join Trip and T'Pol at their table, but he declined and found his own table off in the corner.

Charles Tucker's attention was drawn to the gathering where his sons were telling stories of their youth and their sister. He heard them talk about the day she first rode her bike fearlessly flying down the hill at full speed. Leaving the rest of her family standing there horror stricken because they had not shown her how to use the brakes. He listened for several minutes before he returned to Beth and steered her away from her boys, back towards Jonathon's table. He watched as T'Pol lightly touched her finger's to Trips when tears welled up in his eyes. There was obviously more to that touch than the couple had told them. The moment contact was made Trip closed his eyes and all tension seemed to leave his body. When his eyes opened they were looking directly into his wife's and a smile broke out across his face.

His daughter-in-law's being Vulcan bothered him because they were said to suppress emotions and did not touch others. He now knew they did touch just not in public and he could now see even though she didn't express her emotions she did have them. She also had formed friendships of a sort with the crew members they were now sitting with.

Everyone observed her personal space to some degree. He'd begun to notice this while watching breakfast being made this morning. Trip moved in very close teasing and touching her fingers. Malcolm moved in close, well within her normal boundary also teasing and joking with the couple as they playfully prepared their meal. John came into the mix joking around with her while making his omelette and gradually she relaxed the requirement of space for him also. The crew around them now were all within her personal space, and the others from the crew in the room while still outside that invisible line, still interacted with her in a relaxed fashion.

He then looked at his sons as they remembered Lizzie. Trip was laughing and patting his brother across the back in a gesture of support. John was the most relaxed and tension free that Charles had seen him in many months. He hadn't taken in to account the toll his and Beth's grief had had on his youngest son. His middle child had left the nest once, but returned when he discovered his parents needed him. Trip and Lizzie had both been strong, carefree, independent individuals. So much alike and so close to each other. John had always been less willing to cut the cord and seek adventure. He had almost obtained his law degree when Lizzie was taken. One semester left, but he came home to care for his family. Charles decided he must talk to Trip and get him to help get John to leave the nest again. It was way past time.

Trip, T'Pol, and Malcolm all stood at the front of the room. Trip had a microphone in his hand. He called Jon and several others to join them.

"All right we all know the off duty rules." He held the mike up.

"No uniforms, no rank, and no work." Came in unison from the crew.

"Those are the rules, but we need to break with them for a short time. It seems we have a couple of people to congratulate on their promotions. While we are announcing them here they will not receive their new insignia until they board _Enterprise_."

Cheers went up around the room.

"Added to the celebration tonight are Lieutenant Hoshi Sato and Lieutenant Travis Mayweather." Jon had pushed for these promotions. They both deserved them after four years. Starfleet had been slow in accepting his and T'Pol's recommendations due to the many other changes in the command structure of the starship. Trip decided not to tell Jon that when Malcolm mentioned his desire to get them promoted so they would be part of the senior staff; therefore; making them an integral part of the command structure, Tucker agreed to go to Admiral Kilmer and request his assistance in getting the promotions through. He knew Malcolm trusted the two officers and felt they deserved the rank and they both knew their experience would be needed in the coming war.

As Archer shook his staffs hands Trip sent everyone back to enjoying the party. "Thank you all for the wedding and house warming gifts. T'Pol and I really appreciate it. We'll take them home and open them. Now let's get back to having some fun. And if for any reason you need to stay here for the night...." Trip searched for the ensign. "Ensign Burke, who's that guy right over there waving his hands in the air will set you up with a room, free of charge, right down the road."

---

Trip led his wife outside and out of sight. Finally he had her alone. "I sense a definite theme this evening. You've been busy doing research again, wife?"

"I do not know what you mean, husband." T'Pol's face became more stoic than ever, but her eyes gave her away.

"Let's see. You fed me oysters and peppers and chocolate and this is the fourth glass of wine you've managed to place in my hand." Trip liked wine because it relaxed him but it also made him feel much more amorous. He went through the rest of what he'd eaten tonight. "I'm sure there were a few things I missed in my diet this evening." He'd only taken a few sips from each glass of wine before setting it down somewhere. Trip gave her his best I know what you're up to smile.

"I take it you believe these items all have something in common. And how is it that a warp engineer would know of such things." T'Pol teased back as she pulled him closer.

He rolled his eyes upward. "I'm a red-blooded male and we all think about such things starting about thirteen or so." He'd investigated aphrodisiacs in college when his roommate explained what they were. "I know I've been neglecting my husbandly duties, but having my parents sleeping in the same house is a mood killer." He knew it was stupid after all it was their house not his parents, but it made him feel like a teen who was afraid of being caught making out. Maybe if they'd had more than a day and a half alone, in the house, before his family showed up he'd feel differently.

"I do not understand your reluctance to mate while they're nearby. It is a normal part of married life is it not?" While T'Pol would not want his parents to be aware of their activity she did not understand why Trip found it necessary to refrain from making love while they were in the house. It was after all a biological necessity.

Trip checked to be sure they were alone before kissing her very passionately. "Okay, I'll drink the wine and we can make love tonight, but only if you promise to be quiet." Trip teased knowing they both tended to be a bit unrestrained. He had in fact encouraged T'Pol to let go of her controls during their love making, but now he was asking her to keep some control. It wouldn't really matter tonight he knew. He was a happy man. T'Pol had expressed her desire for him not through their bond, but through her actions. There was no way he would was not going to make love to her tonight. He wondered if she knew how many ways she told him she loved him without actually saying the words?

"I will try, but your family is on the other side of the house and should not be able to hear us."

---

Trip woke on the first official day of vacation to find T'Pol laying in his arms. He'd slept late and normally she would have gotten up, meditated. and completed several other tasks before he opened his eyes on his day off. He usually stayed up later if he didn't have to get up early in the morning.

"Morning, and not that I'm complaining, but to what do I owe the pleasure of your warm body still being next to mine." Trip kissed her shoulder.

"I awoke earlier and meditated and then came back to bed." T'Pol answered as she snuggled closer to her husband. She'd only slept a couple of hours and started dreaming and had to get up and meditate.

"You're not avoiding my parents are you?" Thinking maybe after the shopping trip she might have thought it better to wait for him.

"No. I just wished to spend some quiet time with my husband."

Trip knew better, but didn't press her. She'd tell him what was wrong in her own time. They had 2 weeks and he'd wait until they were alone and talk to her.

Later that day Trip escaped to the beach. As he sat trying to meditate to relieve his anxious mind he was joined by Charles Tucker.

"Couldn't handle moving anymore furniture?" The elder Tucker asked.

Or unwrapping anymore gifts to hear his mothers assessment. "No. Has she always been like that?" He knew his dad knew exactly what he meant. Trip tried to think back to when he was a kid, but couldn't remember his mom being so demanding.

"By the time you kids came along I'd stopped fighting her about anything she did inside the house. That's why I have my workshop on the other side of the garage so I can get away when I need to. It just isn't worth it, so I let her have her way." Charles let out a deep breath.

"Whatever works for you is fine, but I just want her to stop trying to make me choose her way. T'Pol won't let me say anything. Instead she'll spend the whole day letting mom rearrange our house and then she says we'll move it where we want it when you leave." Sometimes Trip hated it when T'Pol became the unflappable Vulcan and acted as if nothing bothered her.

"Maybe T'Pol sees what's really going on. You threw your mom for a loop with all these changes. There's a new woman in your life and she's taking the place of your mom. Just give her some time to figure out where she fits in now. Your wife isn't making it harder by getting upset, so maybe you should just let them be and it will all be over soon." Charles could see that Trip living some distance away from them was going to be a good thing. He just hoped that future visits would be easier when the couple had lived in their house longer and arranged it the way they wanted it.

"You're right it's not worth making T'Pol upset at me because my mother is nuts." Trip had this cockeyed look on his face. "Did you pick anything out in the house, ever?" Now he was curious. Had his father really handed the house over to his wife. He couldn't imagine living in a space entirely decorated by someone else with no regard for his taste. He didn't see T'Pol ever asking him to.

"I bought the table we had in the kitchen at a flea market. Picked it up to refinish and sell, but your mom liked it so we kept it. There's a couple of pictures on the walls that are mine, but that's it." One of his hobbies was refinishing old furniture.

"Not talking to you and mom made this all so much more difficult and I don't even know why I couldn't tell you. There's just so much I can't talk about that it got easier to not talk at all. I'm really sorry about that." Trip's mind drifted off thinking about all the horrors he'd seen. When did the bad things they encountered begin to outnumber the good things? Was it possible to explore in space without all the problems they ran into? He wasn't sure anymore, but maybe he and T'Pol would find out after the war with the Romulans was over.

Seeing his parents off Trip knew he and his dad had come to some sort of understanding. He and his mother were in the middle of some sort of ritual redefining their relationship that might take some time. Charles Tucker assured his son it would be fine if he was patient. The brothers had reconnected and become closer than they had been before. Trip's father made him promise to find a way to get his brother away from Florida. Charles Tucker Jr. was ready to take care of himself and his wife and let his children find their own way in life.


	7. Chapter 7

Healing to Your Life – Chapter 7

The house was finally arranged to their liking. Once they made it out of bed, it had taken most of the rest of the morning. But now they agreed there was to be no more work of any kind for the next ten days. Trip had been sure T'Pol would argue with him, but she hadn't. She was usually more driven than he was to be busy and doing something productive and work related.

When Malcolm arrived unannounced Trip became suspicious. T'Pol was up to something, but he had no idea what. The tactical officer had coffee and talked of inconsequential things for some time, then he approached Trip with a thin device he wanted to place around his wrist. Malcolm quickly and quietly explained the purpose. So quietly it was as if he believed Trip would accept his words if he didn't really hear them. The device would allow their security teams to be close enough to assist them if needed, but far enough away to give the couple some privacy.

Trip held the item shaking it in Malcolm's face. "It's a tracking device? You've got to be kidding me. You want me to agree to this?" Trip was not happy. Malcolm proposed, several times, that all _Enterprise_'s crew wear some type of homing device when on away missions, but Captain Archer never made it standard practice.

"Your security people's tricorders and my own have the frequencies. They can track you and scan the area around you for any threats." Teasing Trip Malcolm continued. "I finally have a valid reason to tag you and there is no way I'm going off into space until I know both you and T'Pol are safe." He might not be able to ensure this himself, but he would make sure every precaution possible was taken.

He handed them slimmer and smaller models of tricorders and weapons, with instructions they must carry them at all times. Trip took the small pouch with two pockets in it and watched as the color changed as the warmth of his skin started a chemical reaction.

Malcolm informed them both. "It will change color to match whatever clothing it's attached to."

Trip continued to balk about the tracker until his wife crossed the room and placed one around his wrist, then her own. Knowing he would not argue with her. "I want to know how they did that?" Trip's eyes opened wide as the tracker faded to match his skin tone. "This came from the Vulcans, didn't it?" Trip knew Starfleet did not have technology like this.

"Yes and Minister Sorren sends his best. He seemed to know you'd want to examine the technology so he had the data sent to your secure line with the understanding that the technology is classified. He said you'd understand." Malcolm knew that agreements had been reached between the two Captains and the Vulcans, but he suspected they'd also made agreements with the Andorians for technology and maybe even some with the Tellarites.

Malcolm finished explaining where the technology came from. "The tracking device itself came from Section 31. The Vulcans just put it in the wristband. It seems they discovered how to use chemical gels and crystalline substances that allow the material to change color. T'Pol's the scientist she can probably explain this better than I can? They also added the frequencies to your tricorders and your weapons now have several levels from stun to kill."

Malcolm was thrilled that Harris and Section 31 had been ordered to give him the technology. They were livid when Reed allowed the Vulcans access to the devices to see if they could add any enhancements and then allowed their security teams to incorporate them into their own security procedures for the Captains.

The Vulcans made it very clear that they took protecting their citizens very seriously and that Starfleet had no choice but to keep the pair from harm. The High Council had begun to see the advantages of having a close relationship with Captain Tucker. He had proven to be honest and trustworthy and his insights into the workings of Earth's government and Starfleet were proving very useful. His work with their technology had also proven to be beneficial. He had improved the power matrix's performance while refitting it for his needs. In the future, if he was allowed to acknowledge where the original design came from, he could truly take credit for the redesign of Vulcan ships. The Andorians and Tellarites also saw the protection of the Captains as a priority. They saw Trip and T'Pol as the catalyst behind the new openness among the Coalition members and the addition of Ambassadors to Earth.

T'Pol had planned all this with Malcolm, of that Trip was sure. But when he asked her about it, all she would say was while she didn't totally understand the custom of honeymoons she did not think it appropriate for security to be present during theirs. T'Pol objected to being under guard, at all times, as much as Trip did, but she never complained. It meant her bondmate was protected and she understood that the High Council would insist; at least; until the Romulans were no longer a threat.

---

Trip sat on the beach behind T'Pol. He automatically searched the area to ensure they were alone before wrapping his arms around her and kissing her neck. His mind kept drifting to thoughts of wanting the air and water to be warmer. T'Pol had agreed to let him teach her to dive. He was open water certified and she wished to share his favorite hobby. But until the temperature came up that would be impossible. A wetsuit did not offer enough protection to allow her Vulcan physiology to deal with the rapid loss of heat the coldness of the water would cause.

His attention turned to the tension he felt in her body. "Are you going to tell me what's wrong yet?" Trip had been patient, but could no longer ignore her anxiety and the sensation of being blocked from her most troubling thoughts.

"I do not wish to upset you." She should have known this statement would send up a red flag. His blood pressure rose immediately.

"I might get upset, but I don't stay that way long, so tell me?"

T'Pol considered keeping quiet. To do so would only cause Trip discomfort and worry. "Your mother asked if we could have children." Her whole insides tightened up and visions of Lorian and Elizabeth were before their eyes.

"She did what?" Son-of-a-bitch. She's not even here and she's causing problems. "Why did she ask you and not me?" Then he thought about his talk with his mother. "When did she ask you?" Trip tried to keep himself calm, pulling T'Pol into his chest burying his face in her hair. "I'm so sorry. I wish I'd known about this."

His mother obviously ignored him when he said they made decisions together and Trip stupidly thought when his family left things would get back to normal or as close to normal as they ever got.

Trip could sense the discussion had taken place while his wife was allowing her mother-in-law to arrange their house.

T'Pol let out a breath and took in another deep one. "She presumed it would be my decision and wished to know if and when we would give her a grandchild. It seemed important to her."

He'd told her to let them make their own choices. "Why can't my mom be more like yours was? Vulcans respect privacy." T'Les had asked him about his feelings for her daughter, but she would never have asked him for more intimate information.

"My mother asked me if I thought a human and Vulcan could have a relationship and then questioned if we could have children. She thought they'd suffer if we did." T'Pol eyes looked down at the sand.

"So do they all think we're just breeding stock. You fall in love, get married, just to make babies?" Trip was angry. His parents couldn't acknowledge the child or grandchild they'd lost, but they wanted another baby. To what? Replace them? Didn't they care if he and T'Pol had gotten over their grief enough to even think of children. Why couldn't they just let them be happy? Then another thought struck him. "You told your mother about me?" He hadn't known they discussed him at all. But if they'd discussed her having children with him.

"She assumed my reluctance to bond with Koss was because of you. Vulcan females are raised to believe family comes first and having children is for the good of Vulcan. It is assumed all bonded females will produce children." T'Pol began thinking about all the lessons she had been taught since childhood. Vulcans did not have individual needs. The needs of Vulcan came first and children were necessary for the future of their species.

"I don't care about any of that. I've told you before you get to decide what you want, so what do you want? Do you want to have a baby?" Trip didn't want to tell her what he wanted until she made up her own mind.

"We have not discussed this. I know you wish to have children." T'Pol wanted to please her mate.

"T'Pol, I asked what you want, not what I want. I already know what I want." Or at least he thought he did.

T'Pol had a difficult time trying to put her wishes into words. She was conflicted. She had been devastated when they lost their children, but she had not been part of their creation and only suffered after the fact. "I do not know if I truly wish to have children, but I would not deny you the opportunity of being a father."

"Look darlin, Elizabeth wasn't our choice, but had she lived I would have been happy and raised her with you, no problem. But I wasn't ready to be a dad and I don't know if I ever will be." Trip rubbed his hands into his eyes and let out a deep sigh. "There are too many people out there who would want to harm a child of ours and we'd have to make some pretty drastic changes. I'm not prepared to give up my career; just yet; and I don't think you are either." Trip knew their jobs took up a major part of their lives and would for the foreseeable future. A child would demand more time and attention than they could give them and maintain their current positions. He had always thought he'd have kids. He'd told Malcolm there would be a Charles Tucker IV, but now he wasn't sure.

Trip could feel her relief. "I spoke to Dr. Phlox and he assures me we could have a child if we wanted, but it would have to be done in a laboratory." T'Pol had checked with the doctor when Trip informed her of the news that their DNA was compatible.

"We've got a couple of years before we can even think about this anyway, right? We'll talk to Phlox before our Pon Farr and go from there." Trip knew they wouldn't be able to even consider children until then, so they had time. He also knew this process would be as much about him as it would be about her because they were bonded. They'd have her extracted eggs and his sperm frozen once she started her mating cycle, so if and when they decided they wanted children they'd be ready. He'd consulted Phlox before they left _Enterprise_.

While human/Vulcan DNA could be safely combined medical science had not yet advanced far enough to allow the baby to develop in its mother's womb. A Vulcan mother would not be able to sustain the gestation of the fetus or provide the minerals and nutrients a human/Vulcan hybrid would require. Phlox had given him all the current information on Ectogenesis. The egg would be fertilized by his sperm, in the lab, and the fetus would be placed in an artificial womb where the oxygen and nutrients could be controlled to supply exactly what was needed. There was further research to be done, but that involved finding knowledgeable Vulcan doctors willing to assist them through the whole process. They'd need help with the bonding process. Having gained access to the full and complete Vulcan database he found little information. The Kir'Shara mentioned mind-melds and bonds, but not in detail. Bonds existed and were known to exist, but not all Vulcan couples sought to establish a bond and if they did they often did nothing to strengthen it. The parent-child bond was considered a natural part of parenting and was not discussed openly. People raised to live a solitary, emotionless (suppressing any emotions they felt without thought) life were not driven to seek anything else, even if they married. Subverting such information aided V'Las and his cohorts attempts to weaken and destroy Vulcan by reinterpreting their own beliefs.

T'Pol knew he was right about having time, but they would need to devise a strategy to deal with his parents questions about grandchildren sooner or later. Pon Farr was a subject that Trip had comfortably discussed but he was in total agreement with most Vulcans. It was a topic not to be discussed with anyone but his bondmate.

Trip could feel the tension slowly leaving her body. He reached up and began pushing the nodes in her neck to further the release of stress. "I need you to promise me that from now on you will tell my mom, dad, John or anyone else who wants to know about our personal affairs to talk to me." He waited for her to nod her agreement. "Turns out my parents don't always talk about things. My dad sometimes just lets my mom make decisions on her own, so she thinks all marriages work that way or should work that way. I tried to tell her we're a team. But I guess she didn't listen." Had his father wanted kids or had his mother made that decision too? Trip would definitely have to make it clear to his mom that she needed to ask him anything she wanted to know about their relationship in the future.

"Thank you." Was all T'Pol said.

"Glad I could help, but I'm not sure what you're thanking me for."

She leaned back into his embrace. "Just thank you." She was simply grateful he was her husband.

"Do you know how much I enjoy holding you like this?" Trip whispered in her ear. Sending a shiver down her spine.

T'Pol responded by pushing herself backwards forcing Trip to lay back in the sand, following him down, and turning over to face him. As she began kissing his chest and neck Trip raised his head upward. "Are you sure about this? It's a little chilly out here and sand can end up in some pretty uncomfortable places."

"I'm sure we can build up enough heat to keep us both warm and we can take a shower later." She replied as she moved to cease his talking by capturing his mouth with her own.

When they returned to the house a delivery truck was awaiting their arrival. T'Pol spoke to the driver instructing him to unload the boxes and place all but the ones with the orange stripe in the garage. The boxes with the stripe were then taken into the house.

Trip was puzzled. All the furniture and household items had already been delivered, but T'Pol seemed to know what the delivery was all about. "T'Pol, did you buy something you didn't tell me about?"

"Maybe." Was all she would say. Mysterious had not been a part of her nature prior to meeting Trip, but he insisted they not share their entire past through a mind-meld to maintain some mystery in their relationship. The idea of a total bearing of oneself to your mate seemed appealing, but after considering his views she agreed it was better to allow some parts to remain private and others to be discovered as they grew closer as a couple. She was beginning to like being mysterious and keeping him off balance.

"Are you going to tell me what's in the boxes or do I have to guess?" He questioned as he watched them being taken inside. He'd never seen T'Pol like this before. Playful and secretive. He liked it.

"You will know after dinner." T'Pol walked into the kitchen.

"You're really not going to tell me until after dinner?" This was worse than having Christmas presents sitting under the tree for days before you could open them.

"You can open the boxes after dinner." T'Pol kept her amusement at his impatience from reaching him through the bond and continued making dinner.

Trip slid in behind her. "Can I help make dinner?" Figuring it would speed things up.

"I do not require your assistance. Why don't you finish that game you were watching earlier?" Trying desperately to ignore his nibbling on her ear.

"I'd rather help you." Trip furthered his assault on her ears. Switching from one side to the other and back again. Stopping to include that spot at the back of neck.

T'Pol pushed back against him forcing him to step away so she could turn around. Grasping his shoulders and pulling him in close she leaned in to let the warmth of her breath add to the erotic import of her words. "Trip, ....if you continue dinner will never be completed."

In other words if he didn't go watch his game dinner would be postponed and he'd have to wait that much longer to see what was in those boxes. "Fine, I'll go watch the game, but it's under protest." She may not understand honeymoons, but she most certainly had made some plans for their time together.

After dinner was over and the kitchen was cleaned up T'Pol headed toward their room. "I am going to take a shower to remove the sand from my hair. Would you like to join me?"

He knew she was trying to delay him. And enjoying torturing him immensely. "Sure my hair could use a good washing too." Somehow he knew she wouldn't let him open the boxes without her, so he went along.

After the longest shower they'd ever taken together. "So do you need to meditate now?"

"Why would you think I wish to meditate now?" T'Pol asked innocently.

"I don't know. You managed to wash and massage of every inch of my body thoroughly several times. And you've done everything you can think of to keep me away from those boxes." He sounded like a petulant child.

"I did not know you were so eager to examine their contents. You didn't enjoy our shower?" Her intent had been to tease him by making him wait a little while, but when she saw how crazy it made him she decided to stretch it out longer.

What could he say? No, I didn't enjoy be touched and making love to my wife. "You're not usually such a terrible liar. You're enjoying this way too much."

He would never tell her, but he was enjoying this as well. He loved that she took the time to get under his skin like this.

T'Pol left the bedroom and went to the kitchen to make tea. "Would you like a cup of tea?"

He just shook his head 'no' as he sat down on the living room floor. "Can I open them now?"

As she watched the excited wonder on his face she was reminded of watching his younger self as Sim grew up. "Just a minute. You must open them in order."

"When did you have time to go to all the trouble of packing boxes in a certain order?" He didn't even know when she had time to go out and buy anything without him.

"I had some assistance." T'Pol didn't look at him, while trying to make her tea as slowly as she could without being too obvious.

T'Pol finally came in. Before setting her tea on the coffee table she returned to the kitchen for a saucer to place under her cup. She looked over the boxes taking her time examining each before moving them in the order she wished him to open them in. John had marked them as she had asked. "You can open them now."

The first box was opened. He found a double wide beach lounger with a canopy. He thought it odd that she'd purchased beach furniture. The second box was opened. It contained swim wear for both of them along with shorts, tank tops and assorted other beach items. He was touched that she had purchased things for them to use on the beach, but he had no idea why she had gone to this much trouble to show him.

He opened the third box. "Who helped you John or Dad? " He pulled out his scuba tanks, wetsuit, lycra suit, mask, snorkel, weight belts, and flippers. "Why'd you have them send this now?"

"You wish to go diving and require your equipment to do so." She answered matter-of-factly.

"I wanted to wait until it was warm enough for you to go to. That won't be for 2 or 3 months, yet."

"You have time now, you should go." She saw the look on his face. She knew he wished to wait until she could join him and she could sense his mixed feelings. On one hand he wanted to dive, but he also wanted her with him.

"You still have another box to open."

Trip opened the last box, pulling out another set of equipment. "You had them buy equipment for you?" On the bottom he found belts with several sets of batteries. "You had John get these didn't you?" He held up the heat belts.

T'Pol watched the smile spread across his face as he realized what she'd done. He moved to wrap her in his arms and immediately started talking about what they needed to do. Test her swimming ability, teach her to fill her tanks and check out her equipment, recover her regulator, clean her mask, and on and on for the rest of the evening.

They laid together. Trip's arms wrapped around T'Pol holding her as close to his body as he could. Her mate had finally fallen asleep. The darkness made it impossible to see his features, but she swore she could feel the smile still on his face. As she relaxed into the pleasure she still felt from him in the bond she let the feeling flow through her. Something as simple as allowing him to teach her to dive brought him so much pleasure. Diving was the one thing besides being her husband and working on warp engines that truly made him happy.

Once she knew Trip was deeply asleep she got up and meditated. T'Pol attempted to reconcile Trip's emotions towards his family and their behavior; as well as; her own. While he was angry and upset, mostly at his mother, he still loved them very much and went out of his way to not let his displeasure cause anymore of a rift between them than was necessary. She thought of her own mother and her feelings about humans and particularly about her association with Trip. Would her mother ever have accepted him as her mate? She liked to think so, but she could not be sure. The last few minutes she spent with her mother had not answered many questions. It had brought forth more.

This family she was now a part of was complicated and foreign. Vulcan children might disagree with their parents, but they did what they were asked to do. It was expected. Humans it seemed sometimes did as their parents wished, but at others did the exact opposite. When or how these choices were made the young Vulcan had no clue. She'd just have to observe and support Trip until she could figure it out.

Her mates statement about 'breeding stock' took her by surprise and it kept reappearing in her thoughts. Vulcans bonded their young to ensure they had suitable mates and once they entered Pon Farr children were an expected result of the pairing. A maternal instinct was not so much a natural thing as a learned cultural expectation. Until she heard his words she had not thought of this in such crude terms before. She had resisted her own betrothal because she did not wish to do what was expected of her and bond to Koss and bear his children. Was it his children or any children she did not wish to have? Fortunately, now she had time to answer these questions.

---

The next day was spent learning. The tanks and gauges were checked. Trip had T'Pol complete her swimming tests. 200 meters of continuous movement swimming and then 300 meters with the fins, mask and snorkel. When he began teaching her the safety procedures she needed to know, she chose not to tell him she had acquired several computer files and studied the information when she discovered how much he was enjoying teaching her. The little boy smile that became a permanent expression made her wish she had seen him on those Christmas mornings he'd described to her last night.

Trip had never used a heat belt before. The guys he had dived with in the past would have regarded it as something for wimps. Seeing any suggestion that they couldn't take the cold as an attack on their manhood. As T'Pol listened to his thoughts she pointed out the logic of using the device for his maximum pleasure and how irrational it was to be concerned what other men might think of him. Trip smiled at her logic as he attached the belt to his waist, having decided he was mature enough to admit he'd rather be warm then appear macho.

When they finally made it into the water it was only for a short time and then without the tanks for deeper diving. Getting used to the masks, snorkel, and fins was the goal for today. Trip stood behind T'Pol showing her how to recover her regulator by sweeping her arm upward. His fingertips kept sliding down her side causing a flurry of sensation through the bond until it became too much to ignore.

"Trip, if we are to complete this exercise you will need to move away from me. Your touch is extremely distracting." T'Pol closed her eyes taking in the sensations.

Trip smiled even broader than he had been as his fingers made another pass down her body. "So I can excite you through three layers of clothing?"

"It may also be the thoughts that you are having as you touch me. Do you wish to stop our lessons for today and mat...."

Trip stopped her when he abruptly turned her around and kissed her. Holding his forehead to hers. "I'm not trying to mate right now I'm just trying to be intimate with my wife so learning can be a little more fun, but I seem to be making it difficult for you to concentrate. I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for. You need to learn how to use our bond so you know how you are affecting me. If you'd like we can both practice new skills." T'Pol held his face in her hands as she held steady in the water.

"Okay, then what do I need to do?" Trip was beginning to see that he didn't understand the bond as well as he thought he did.

"Concentrate on the bond. Then touch me as you were before and let yourself center on the sensations you are causing. Try to prevent your own feelings from coming into the flow." T'Pol let him do as she instructed. When his fingers moved away she continued. "Touch me again only this time slowly allow what you are feeling to enter the bond." As T'Pol became aware of the added sensation so did Trip.

He could feel the amplified affect his own emotions were having on T'Pol. "Wow, I guess I never paid attention to how much impact I have on you." He began to withdraw himself from the bond to lessen the affect of his touch.

"You can make an experience pleasurable without letting it draw my attention away from what I am doing. It is a matter of what your intent is and how much mental control you use, which I have discovered you have in abundance when you need it." She thought his mind was undisciplined when they first met, but soon learned he often let people think that. He in fact was very logical and organized when necessary, but he could also just let his control go and simply feel. He just needed practice to obtain the levels in between.

The rest of their vacation/honeymoon went exceptionally well Trip decided. He couldn't remember when he'd taken time off before and enjoyed himself as much and not thought about work at all. The visit to the Academy of Science gave T'Pol an opportunity to see about procuring a lab to conduct scientific research on her own. Originally they were to spend a few days in a cabin in the desert, but it was still to cold to enjoy being outdoors, so they postponed that excursion. Trip hated the heat of the desert, but neither of them wanted to deal with the cold. They could cuddle indoors at home and be much more comfortable.

They wandered through the various districts of San Francisco. They sampled foods from Chinatown and the various ethnic restaurants in the Mission district. Trip tried to explain how the atmosphere changed from one neighborhood to another depending on the ethnic background of the residence. Many of the landmarks had been rebuilt after the last war and T'Pol found it strange that many of the buildings had murals painted on them. While she found them pleasing to the eye, she could not imagine Vulcans ever allowing such displays in a public area. Art was part of her culture, but it was kept inside monasteries and museums not in the streets where all citizens could create it.

Billy and Melissa invited them to the Jazz festival in Ocean City. T'Pol had expressed an interest in going. She had listened to Jazz music in a club on a couple of occasions, when she was assigned to the Consulate, and found she liked it. As Trip watched her enjoying the performances he couldn't help but wonder what it was about this particular type of music that drew her in. As the more skilled musicians began to play Trip began to notice her interest level rise. It amazed him to realize it was the individual interpretations of the music she appreciated most. The lack of structure or rules. The fewer chords, scales, and rhythm the better she liked it. It was the antithesis of what it meant to be Vulcan. The freer the better.

--

As they passed through the door Trip instantly wished he could turn around and return to the warmth of their bed and T'Pol's arms. The Lieutenant, at the front desk, shot the Captains a strange look as they entered. The uneasy feeling intensified when he spotted Commander Neilson running towards them from the other end of the hallway.

"Captain, we have a big problem. Starfleet security busted in here about an hour ago and rounded up all the non-humans. I think they're in the gym downstairs." Neilson sputtered out while trying to catch his breath.

"Who the hell sent security and how'd they get in?" Trip wanted to know. His anger quickly spiked.

"They flashed their ID and Klein let them in. He's only a lieutenant and he says they were being lead by a Commander Spitz."

"Spitz? Where've I heard that name?" Trip had been in so many meetings he often lost track of who was who.

T'Pol kept track of those details. Her first officer training made it an automatic thing. "The Commander is attached to Admiral Candace of Starfleet Security." He'd been very vocal about his objections to allowing aliens to be part of the Warp Development Project.

Trip remembered his last run in with the Admiral. "He's that ass that thinks humans can save the entire quadrant all by ourselves." He did not like Trip Tucker at all. He brought more aliens to Earth and he was involved with one personally. Trip had asked Admiral Kilmer how such a closed minded man had been allowed to advance in Starfleet? Kilmer's only comment had been 'nepotism'.

They entered the gym to find all the engineering staff standing around in groups. He saw newly promoted Lieutenant Rivers standing off to the side. He'd been placed in charge of the team that would be working with Trip and T'Pol the most closely. Trip had wanted to keep his team leaders at the rank of Lieutenant Commander or Commander, but Billy, having been trained by Trip, was the best qualified to take charge of their team. Getting his promotion six months early had been difficult enough. Getting him bumped two ranks was never going to happen.

Trip looked around the room. He thought Scott said only the non-humans were here, but he saw all the engineers gathered with their assigned teams. "Rivers, what's going on? Has anyone explained what this is all about?"

Sensing his boss' frustration and anger Billy shrugged his shoulders. "A security check of some kind. Command thinks they need to re-investigate everybody who's not Starfleet, in person."

All the staff had been thoroughly investigated by several Starfleet departments. Trip and T'Pol had read so many detailed investigative reports they felt like they'd known these people since birth.

"Then why are all the human engineers here?" Trip looked around again.

"They're supporting their fellow team members. They were told to go to their workstations, but refused to even after they were threatened by Commander Spitz and his boys." Billy smiled in support of their stance.

A commotion started at the doorway. Trip and T'Pol caught a glimpse of their personal security teams being detained by the invading Starfleet security force. T'Pol moved to intercede. "Excuse me. What seems to be the problem here?" She inquired of the Commander who had Major Talas and Major Sojorn backed up against the wall. The human lieutenants with them were not being accosted.

Another of the force made a move toward T'Pol. She turned to face him head-on. "Stand down. Commanders. That's an order."

Trip moved in a little closer, angry and protective of his mate, but stood back observing. He wanted to step in and protect T'Pol, but the officer in him knew he couldn't do it. She'd be angry and it would not be helpful. He could not diminish her rank in the eyes of those she'd need to give orders to.

The young man who approached her backed off but the one holding the Vulcans didn't budge. "I have my orders ma'am." The young commander replied.

Moving a step towards the group. "I gave you a direct order Commander and I expect you to follow it." T'Pol's face remained passive, but the authority in her voice was very commanding.

"Rogers, I believe Captain T'Pol gave you an order." Commander Barnes bellowed from down the corridor.

Commander Rogers turned looking back over his shoulder in the direction of the voice. "She's a Vulcan, sir. Our orders are to detain all non-humans in this facility."

"Well, unless you're part of a different Starfleet than I am I suggest you stand down. Vulcan or not she's Starfleet and she outranks you. Don't make me have to testify against you at a court-martial. She's my commanding officer and those two you're holding are part of our security staff and it's my job to protect all of them." Barnes stepped up next to Captain T'Pol.

Watching the staff under their command handle things made Trip feel proud of the people they'd chosen, but it didn't help him feel better about letting T'Pol deal with the situation. It took all the control he could find to keep his feet planted where they were. The bond was buzzing with his anger and T'Pol's. The flow back and forth was starting to overflow creating a volcano like effect in their emotional control.

Rogers released the Majors. And remarked offhandedly. "They're security? They aren't even in uniform." He scoffed.

T'Pol spoke to the Majors quietly then answered Rogers. "They are assigned to protect Captain Tucker and myself, which necessitates they not wear a uniform." The Captain turned to Barnes. "Commander please gather all security teams and remove all unauthorized personnel from this facility. If anyone gives you a problem please contact Captain Tucker or myself."

"Yes, ma'am. I believe you'll find Commander Spitz in the hallway at the back of the gym being questioned by Sub-Commander Muroc and Commander Timmons." Barnes had been impressed by Robert Timmons. He'd arrived this morning minutes before HQ security dropped in and immediately challenged Spitz and his commandos. Muroc, a very stoic but obviously angry Vulcan, was at his side and they had managed to pin the Commander down until their superior officers could arrive.

"Good morning, Captain Tucker." Barnes offered. "Sorry about all the trouble on your first day back, sir, ma'am." He said as he tipped his head to them. He began herding the unwanted guest toward the stairs with the rest of his security team. "I'll send you some reinforcements. They should arrive in less than 5 minutes."

Trip motioned with his arms for T'Pol to proceed in front of him in search of Spitz. Tucker looked to his wife. "Do you want to do this or should I?"

"Exactly what do you want to do?" T'Pol asked.

"I want to order this ass... I'm sorry I know you hate it when I cuss, but I haven't even had my first cup of coffee this morning."

"I warned you about your coffee. It's your own fault for delaying our shower." She gave him a jolt through the bond.

Knowing she wouldn't have any sympathy for his lack of caffeine he went on. "Anyway, I want them out of here now, but do you want to order him out or do you want me too?"

"I will order him off the premises, but first we must get your anger under control." Trip had been angry recently, but nothing like this. Not only had their staff been assaulted, they had insulted his wife, and his new found protectiveness was in full bloom.

T'Pol stopped, facing her mate forcing him to focus and push his anger aside. They had not had to practice with staffs to help him expunge his stronger emotions since arriving on Earth; however the Vulcan made a mental note to borrow the equipment to take home this evening.

T'Pol set her jaw and Trip could feel her determination to throw her rank and the fact that she was Vulcan in Spitz's face as she strode down the corridor. "Go get'em. He's all yours." Trip laughed as they rounded the corner and saw Timmons yelling at the Commander.

"You xenophobic basta...." Timmons saw his commanding officers. He came to attention. "Good morning Captain Tucker, Captain T'Pol."

Sub-Commander Muroc straightened his posture as he lifted his hand in the ta'al. "Live long and proper, Captains Tucker and T'Pol."

Both Captains answered. "Good morning, Commander Timmons." Then raised their hands into the ta'al and addressed the Vulcan. "Peace and long life, Sub-Commander Muroc."

Trip looked to his staff. "Would you gentlemen join the others in the gym?"

"Yes, sir." They answered heading to the room.

T'Pol turned her attention to Spitz. "Commander, you are to gather all your personnel and leave the premises immediately."

Spitz looked to Tucker who had backed away. "I'm sorry, but my orders are to detain and question all non-human personnel in this facility."

T'Pol ignored the slight. "I am giving you a direct order. Leave the premises now or you will be arrested and brought up on charges of insubordination, Commander." Her voice was very direct and controlled.

Trip couldn't believe that Starfleet had officers who refused to follow a superior officers orders. Spitz acted as if T'Pol wasn't even there. "Captain T'Pol is an officer in the same organization that you and I are Commander and I advise you to do as ordered. If I have to become involved in this you will be brought up on charges by both of us and I will personally see that you're stationed in some far away posting until you're old and gray."

Spitz continued to act as if the Vulcan Captain wasn't there. "I do not recognize her authority to give me orders Captain Tucker."

Trip was caught off guard by his remark. He noticed a rather large group had moved outside the gym into the hall. "You're refusing to obey an order?"

"She may hold the rank of Captain, but she should not be in Starfleet. She's a Vulcan and I will not follow her orders." His contempt for Starfleet and the Vulcan Captain was written across his face.

Trip searched through the gathering. "Commander Telev would you and the rest of your team please place Commander Spitz under arrest. Confine him to one of the empty rooms near our office."

The four member team moved toward Spitz. When the Commander saw the Andorian Telev step out and head in his direction he started to reach for his weapon. T'Pol was standing an arms length away. When she perceived the movement her hand grabbed his wrist and twisted his body around forcing it behind his back, as she removed his phaser from it's holder.

Commander Telev donning his Warp Dev Project security uniform and his own weapon took hold of Spitz' pinned arm while a Tellarite officer held the other as they walked away, followed by a Vulcan and a human lieutenant.

Holding his extreme anger at bay, smiling his most wicked of smiles Trip almost spat at Spitz as he went by. "Hope it was worth it. We have a roomful of witnesses for your court martial." At the very least he'd be demoted and reassigned. Disobeying a direct order because the officer wasn't human would be a test of Starfleet's willingness to clean out the ranks.

Timmons came to stand by the Captains. "I always thought Spitz was a xenophobe, but he's always been very careful about what he says and does. Started spouting his dogma the minute he walked through the door and saw our little eclectic group. He's been on Earth away from any other species until today. It must have been too much for him to be surrounded by all these non-humans." Timmons knew there were problems in Starfleet because some had xenophobic tendencies, but he had hoped their training would override their stupidity.

Once Spitz was out of sight Commander Timmons jumped back into command mode and ordered the assembly back into the gym for a meeting. Ensign Burke arrived to catch his bosses up on the morning so far.

Before he spoke he handed Trip a cup of coffee and a hypospray and T'Pol a cup of tea. "Thought you could both use this since you never made it to the office."

Rolling the hypo between his fingers Trip questioned his assistant. "What's with the meds?"

"Just prepared, sir. Days like this tend to bring on headaches. If you don't need it now I'll keep it handy for later." The young ensign took the analgesic back. "Sir, ma'am, I have several messages from Admiral Kilmer, Ambassador Soval, Captain Archer, and Admiral Candace. I've told them all you are both busy at the moment, but you'll get back to them as soon as possible."

Days like this? The young man suddenly sounded older than he was. Trip looked at the ensign then at the headache remedy. He knew the answer to the question before he even asked it. "Burke, you were an Eagle Scout weren't you?" When the young man nodded 'yes' Trip laughed out loud. Jon and Malcolm both had been Eagle scouts and while Jon didn't take the 'be prepared' part of the motto to heart Trip knew it couldn't be a coincidence that he surrounded himself with people who took the scouting charge and challenge seriously.

Tucker's thoughts were that at this rate they'd never get a warp drive designed much less built. As he was formulating his response for his staff to what he couldn't believe had begun already, he saw Commander Neilson walking in with the eight newest team members. They all looked scared to death, with their eyes opened wide, stark white faces, and lost expressions.

"Neilson, where were they?" Trip asked before heading over to try to calm their nerves a bit. He didn't want them fearful and anymore anxious than was to be expected on their first day.

"It seems they all arrived together just after Spitz and his crew, so they missed all the activity and went to their duty stations. Been standing around waiting for somebody to come tell them what to do." Neilson sympathized with the group. He likened it to his freshmen year in high school after the first assembly. The students were let out well before the next class started and most of the freshman class stood around having no idea what to do or where to go, while the upperclassmen abandoned them, bolting for parts unknown.

Smiling with a bit of a chuckle, Trip thanked Scott. "Glad you found them. I can't imagine what I'd have done if my first assignment out of the Academy started off like this." These were the recruits he and T'Pol had gone after from the most recent graduating class. They were the only ones who hadn't applied for their positions, but had been selected based on their skills and interviews with their new commanding officers. Trip shook each of their hands and welcomed them by name. They visibly relaxed as he spoke to each of them, sending them to find their team leader inside the gym.

After the meeting with the staff, the first call he answered was to _Enterprise_. Malcolm's expertise and connections were the only way to get the security measures he wanted done and done quickly. But he'd have to speak to Jon to see what he wanted first.

Hoshi Sato appeared on the vid screen. "Hey, Lieutenant, how's it going?" Purposely using her new rank.

"It's going good, sir. Captain Archer's in a bit of a bad mood. Seems he misplaced Commander Reed." Hoshi cracked a wide smile.

While Trip was amused at her statement, he was also apprehensive. "Misplaced him, how?" Reed never left his post without telling somebody where to find him.

"I'll let the Captain explain. He's ready for you now." The communication officer transferred him to Archer's Ready Room.

"Trip have you heard anything from Malcolm in the last few days?" Jon didn't even bother to say hi.

Tucker hadn't heard from his friend, but they had agreed to skip their normal weekly calls until after their leave was over. Whether Jon knew they spoke every Thursday or not was not something Reed had told him, so Trip refrained from mentioning it. "No, I haven't. T'Pol and I were on vacation until today." Reed had planned on taking time off as well.

"He went on leave for a few days. Said something about having some plans, but never said where he was going. Hoshi has been trying to track him down for three days and nothing. I'm tempted to ask Starfleet Security to find him. And since when have you and T'Pol been unreachable when you're on vacation?" Archer had tried to bully Ensign Burke into disobeying their orders regarding not contacting them or allowing anyone else to unless there was a true emergency.

It was the first time in several years that Trip had gone on leave for any length of time and been out of touch and T'Pol usually only took a day or two to visit the Vulcan consulate. "We were on our honeymoon and didn't want to be disturbed. I'm sure Malcolm's fine Jon. This is Malcolm we're talking about, remember?" In an attempt to change the subject. "How's the refit going?"

Malcolm Reed would not want the security forces from Headquarters searching through his personal business trying to find him. Trip reached into his desk and found the device Malcolm had given them. He activated the signal and saw the locater beacon flashing. He was in the area, but must have blocked his signal from normal Starfleet channels to keep his location private. Trip then punched in the code to send a message to contact him immediately. Tucker couldn't inform Jon that he knew how to locate the tactical officer when his own Captain could not, but Malcolm needed to contact _Enterprise_ before a full scale manhunt could be mounted.

Concern moved across Archer's face. "Mostly it's complete, but Hess is having a few problems with the station crews changing her requisitions for spare parts. Malcolm left orders with Hess to contact him if they gave her anymore trouble. He evidently had to deal with them earlier and wasn't too pleased. We need to know what he told them." Archer had rifled through the first officers desk trying to find his notes or his report on what he'd done, but was unable to find anything.

"I'll talk to Hess and see what I can do to help her. In the meantime I'm sure Mal will be in touch soon. He's too conscientious to disappear for to long."

--

Trip took in the shirtless Malcolm's appearance. "A little under dressed aren't we?"

A hand dangled the missing article of clothing next to him. As he watched his friend put on his shirt he noticed the name on the readout identifying the owner of the number seen there.

"So I take it the concert went well?" Trip asked in a teasing manner.

"Yes it did. The music wasn't bad." Reed didn't want to discuss this now with MacKenzie standing a few feet away. "I assume there's some problem if you had to contact me." Malcolm knew Trip wouldn't have bothered him just to find out where he was.

"Yeah, there are a couple of things. Jon's hot because you went into hiding and Hess was having trouble with the Jupiter Station guys again. He didn't know what you'd done before or what your orders were so he wanted to talk to you. Hess is fine now though. I just read a couple of messages she sent me and once she talked to Rostov he told her what I used to do to get around them. But you still need to contact _Enterprise_ before Jon sends out the troops in search of his First Officer." T'Pol moved in behind Trip as he and Malcolm talked.

Malcolm saw her. "Thanks T'Pol for not telling me the Captain doesn't always pay attention to reports. I told him what I'd done and it's also in my weekly report that should be on his desk."

T'Pol had mentioned this to Reed. "Commander, I informed you that the Captain often fails to listen if he has no immediate need for the information you're giving him. And he reads several reports at a time on the nights he is unable to sleep and then has a list of questions or comments the next day."

"I guess you did say something about that. Sorry." Malcolm studied Trip's expression. "What else is wrong?"

"Remember those security measures you advised we institute and I was adamant weren't necessary? Well, I was wrong. We had a small invasion this morning. Can you figure out how to get that security field set up around us and the living quarters?" Trip bit his lower lip in frustration. He hated to admit Malcolm had been right.

"Call Commander Taggart. He's got everything ready and waiting for your call. He'll have you taken care of by morning." Malcolm waited for Trip's reaction that he'd gone ahead and put the plan in motion.

"So when were you going to try to convince me to change my mind?"

"Next week when I got back. I hoped I was wrong, but I've heard too many comments not to take them seriously. There are a lot of bigots out there and you've made yourselves targets." Malcolm had been told there were forces within Starfleet that were against Trip and T'Pol's push for openness with their allies; as well as; groups in the private sector who were against any aliens being allowed on Earth. Both groups were capable of disrupting the development of the warp drive given the chance.

"Did you mention we might need him to put something around the entire valley once we talk to the town council?" Trip had arranged for security teams to patrol the town to keep the non-human residents protected. The living quarters were converted motels owned and operated by local residents.

"Just tell him what you need and he'll take care of it. He'll set up a master code for you and T'Pol, which you will change immediately and then you'll need to have codes setup for your personnel to get through the barrier. Ask Taggart for a copy of the system manuals and the procedures for the setup and maintenance of codes. Read them, then give them to the Commanders in charge of security to maintain the system." He almost said have T'Pol read them, but stopped himself. He knew she'd be the one who read the manuals because she'd remember the details and feed them to Trip when he needed them. He needed to concentrate on warp theory.

T'Pol nodded her head silently letting Malcolm know she would read the material.

"Thanks Mal. I'll let you get back to your.....vacation. Call me once you're back and contact _Enterprise_ to check in. I know nobody knows I can always find you, but does Jon know we talk every week? I didn't want to say anything in case you didn't want him to know."

"It's not a secret. The transmission is secure, but I've never said anything about it. I have to go. Have plans for this afternoon and I need to setup a call to the Captain and then I need to get cleaned up. I'll be in touch next week unless you need me before then." He needed to keep his comm unit from giving away his location when he contacted Captain Archer. He was on leave and unless there was an emergency he had every right to keep his private life private.

"We should be fine. Stay out of trouble and have some fun." Trip ended the transmission wondering who that man was he just talked to. Malcolm had never gone to ground before and certainly not to spend time with a woman.

----

By the time the couple reached the house Trip had been suppressing his emotions for several hours. T'Pol had begun reciting Vulcan text from the Kir'shara to him through the bond earlier in the day. He often asked her to talk to him when he was upset or frustrated. While she failed to understand why she found it forced him to use a separate part of his brain, which in turn made it easier for him to keep his shields in place while having the many discussions of the day starting with Admiral Kilmer and Ambassador Soval.

That Soval had been made aware of the incident so rapidly should not have been a surprise. They had locked down the area not the communications. That hadn't even been considered as it would have created bigger problems with the various political bodies from all the governments. Kilmer had not liked the idea of erecting a security barrier around the project, especially since it meant even he would need to contact them to get a code to enter the facility, but he understood the necessity of keeping the interruptions to a minimum and keeping the staff safe and unmolested.

After an hour of intense practice with the staffs in the backyard T'Pol noticed movement behind them. "I believe we are being observed." She informed her husband.

Removing his face gear Trip turned to find a girl of about 10 sitting on the wall surrounding the yard. He walked casually toward her. "Is there something you need little lady?"

"Are you Captain Charles Tucker III, who builds warp engines?" The young girl asked.

Trip smiled at the formal way she addressed him. "Yes I am, but everybody calls me Trip. Is there something I can do for you?" Trying to determine what her reason for being here was.

"My mom says I can't be dis..disre....disre..... I can't be rude so I have to call you Mr. Tucker." She held out her hand. "I'm Suzanne Mukavey and my daddy says you build big engines for starships and I need someone to fix my scooter. It won't start and my daddy's an accountant and doesn't know anything about engines. Can you fix it for me?" Those downcast, sad eyes were going to be killers when this girl got a little older. She'd have the guys drooling all over themselves trying to please her.

Trip heard a little voice that sounded as if it came from someone on the ground below the girl. "Susie." Trip opened the back gate and peeked around to see a little boy jumping around holding himself and whining at the girl sitting on the wall. "I have to go. I'm going to tell Mom you wouldn't take me home."

From farther down towards the road he saw the security team. "We're sorry sir. They were at the front gate earlier trying to get in to see you. We sent them away, but they must have snuck in through the woods." The Major pointed up. "The sensors picked them up when she climbed the tree to get over the wall."

He'd seen the kids from the shuttlepod on several occasions on their way home. "No problem. They're neighbors." He and T'Pol joined the two children near the tree as the young girl scooted back down to the ground. "Suzanne Mukavey do your parents know where you are?" T'Pol inquired of the girl.

"No, Mrs. Tucker."

Trip was startled when he heard T'Pol referred to as Mrs. Tucker and expected her to correct the child, but she didn't.

"_Mrs. Tucker?" _He questioned her acceptance of this title through the bond.

"_That is my legal name, is it not?"_

"_I guess it is, but I never expected you to use it."_

"_There are occasions when it will be appropriate and as your wife it is my name."_ Accepting the human custom of taking your husbands name went against her own customs, but she would do it. It pleased her that Trip didn't demand she use his name, but he did seem to feel pride that she was willing to.

"My mom thinks we're riding our bikes in the empty lot next to our house." The girl lowered her head and stared at her feet.

"Is this your brother?" T'Pol continued with her questions.

"Yes. His name is James Mukavey We call him Jamie." Susie eagerly volunteered.

Watching the young boy squirm it was obvious he wasn't going to make it home. T'Pol spoke, directing him to the house. "Jamie if you will come with me you may use our bathroom." The boy looked from T'Pol to his sister then back to T'Pol.

"Susie needs to come to. Mom says I'm not supposed to go with strangers." The boy stated as he slid his hand into his sister's. Proud that he had remembered the rule.

Trip smiled. "That sounds like a plan." He pointed to the security team. "I'll have these guys bring your scooter to the garage and we'll go inside. Susie can call your Mom and we'll see what she says about fixing the scooter." He was sure she'd have plenty to say, but he was sure the scooter was the least of it.

Susie tried calling her home, but when she couldn't get through Trip and T'Pol decided to walk the pair home.

Young Jamie stopped to tie his shoe lace. After several attempts T'Pol bent down to assist him. Her ear was right there in front of the boy. His little fingers reached inside the top of the lobe and rubbed it. Trip was walking in front of the them and didn't stop until he felt the shiver from T'Pol. He knew exactly what brought that response and he instantly felt possessive of his mate. Of all the parts of her ear he could have touched the young boy was interested in the most sensitive area right inside the pointed tip. T'Pol locked down her control blocking the sensation from her mind and hiding her reaction from the boy.

Trip turned and his mind clamped down his emotions, which were directed at a little boy who had inadvertently caused this instinctual reaction.

Susie grabbed her brother's hand and jerked it away. Yelling at him. "You don't just touch people like that Jamie. And Vulcans don't like to be touched. I told you that. Now leave her alone."

Trip was embarrassed at his jealousy. As he listened to the older child he wondered if he'd been that overbearing with his younger siblings when they were young. Lizzie had been active and curious just like Trip, so he'd been gentler with her than with John. Never wanting to squelch her enthusiasm. He searched Jamie's eyes and took pity on the young and curious boy.

Walking back towards the pair he bent down speaking in a hushed tone. "You really should ask next time you want to touch someone, but I think they're kinda cute too." Jamie's grin became even wider and T'Pol sent him her support of his actions.

Betty Mukavey was a small woman, but not one to be messed with. Her children explained what they had done and then listened as she lectured them on lying to her and trespassing on the neighbors property before being sent to their rooms. Once the children exited Trip asked about the scooter and agreed that Susie and Jamie would come to the house this next weekend, when they were no longer grounded, to help Trip repair the scooter. That gave him time to unpack his tools and set up a work area in the garage.

--

Trip sat staring at the vid screen. Crowds had gathered outside, supporters and protesters. Word had been leaked to the press of the aliens Starfleet had housed at the Warp Development Facility. Security had managed to keep them miles away from the buildings, but their influence could still be felt. Hours of footage had already been shot as story after story blasted over the airwaves. Continuous coverage on the multitude of 24 hour news channels and several cut ins hourly on the rest. It appeared to be the only news out there that held any interest for millions. Which reporter could get the most in depth interviews or present the most tantalizing details. Then there was that group of reporters, the ones that only qualified for the title because they held press passes, but were actually little more than slimy worms in search of any fact, near truth, or morsel they could find and exploit for those much sought after ratings or readership.

"Trip we must go. Our meeting is in 30 minutes." T'Pol called from across the room. She had been suppressing her emotions from him since they were greeted by the gathering when the shuttlepod passed over them this morning. The gathering was much smaller than it was now.

Commander Burke had been joined by Commander Taggart. "We've added to your personal security for the foreseeable future. Security at Starfleet Command has also been increased." Taggart informed the Captains. Two shuttlepods would accompany them whenever they left the premises. The tracking devices were checked and rechecked and all weapons had been set to the maximum stun level to quickly ensure any attacks were quickly 'put down' in the words of the Commander.

The shuttlepods landed in the designated area. Malcolm Reed greeted the Captains as they exited with their security teams surrounding them. "Sorry to interrupt your time off, Mal. But thanks for being here. I feel better knowing you're looking out for us."

"Wouldn't be anywhere else. Made quite a splash didn't you. Wall to wall coverage." Malcolm chuckled shaking his head. He and MacKenzie went to the store for food and all he saw was Trip and T'Pol plastered all over every vid screen all over town. He immediately dropped Ms. Smith at home and came to Headquarters.

The walkway was lined with security to keep the many protesters under control. Trip reached out to T'Pol with his two fingers, to reassure and calm himself before they proceeded to the entrance of Starfleet Headquarters. Malcolm walked directly in front of them. T'Pol was to Trip's right. Just as they approached the point where her position put her closest to the crowds Trip moved to place himself between her and them. His peripheral vision picked up motion. As he turned to check on the movement a series of loud bangs started to sound.

Everyone froze. Two bodies came over the wall. The first landed on T'Pol. The second missed hitting Trip full on, grazed his chest with something sharp and landed on the ground just behind him.

As the knife found it's target T'Pol let out a yell that came out more like a whimper as the air left her lungs. Trip felt an intense stab of pain. The force of hitting the ground drove the blade deeper.

Hands ripped at the attacker pulling him off the Vulcan. Green blood spreading across the sidewalk as the his head was smashed into the cement surface. Trip's fists pounded into the body of the half conscious man. Each connection Trip's hands blindly made with their target had no discernible affect on the frustration and rage coursing through the human as he acted on his primal need to protect his mate. Enraged at his inability to prevent harm to her.

Someone yelled 'blanket' causing the entirety of the security force to form a closed circle around the pair, to whom they were to assigned, blocking the view of any who might seek to sensationalize the incident playing out before them.

"TRIP. Stop. T'Pol needs you." Malcolm, at the center of the circle, attempted to pull Trip Tucker away before he beat the man to death. "TRIP, we have to get T'Pol help. You have to get her inside now."

Soval stepped next to Malcolm who was still trying to get through to Trip. He let down his shields, reached across and touched Tucker's shoulder and screamed into the young man's mind, repeatedly. "_Charles, pehkau! Tu ma gu-vam palutunau t'du t'hy'la." _(Charles, stop! You have a duty to care for your beloved.)

He became aware of the words being broadcast over and over. "_Charles? Who calls me Charles? T'hy'la? T'Pol. I must help T'Pol."_ The blinding emotions receded. He stopped, trying to identify the male voice in his head while turning to find his wife. Panic set in as he searched their connection to determine her condition. Without thought he picked her up and yelled for a clear path to the medical wing.

The doctor immediately rushed her into the surgical bay to begin repair on the damaged lungs and stop the flow of blood, forcing Trip to relinquish his mate to the medics assisting him. A young woman Trip believed to be a nurse guided him to a table where she began cleaning his wounded hands and chest.

He sat there dazed, not even aware enough to react when the antiseptic, which should have stung, was applied to his skin. When the bandages were secured someone from Starfleet security led Captain Tucker into a room down the hall and instructed him to remain there until Admiral Candace figured this mess out.

The room was a small office with a desk and two chairs. Trip felt claustrophobic, a condition not usually suffered by one in his profession. To relieve his suffering he paced back and forth muttering to himself and trying to feel T'Pol.

The door opened allowing Malcolm entry. "Did they say how T'Pol is?"

"She was bleeding pretty bad and at least one of her lungs collapsed. One must not have collapsed fully because she was still breathing. They haven't told me anything yet." All Trip could think was if she died it was his fault for not getting her here sooner.

"She's strong. She'll be fine. How are you?" Malcolm saw his bandaged hands and he knew Trip was very agitated when he paced like this.

"Okay. It's T'Pol I'm worried about. They want me to stay here till they decide what to do." His agitation level rose at that thought. "Did I kill that guy?" He didn't know what to feel about what he'd done.

"They took him to Starfleet Medical for treatment before they arrest him."

"How the hell did they get over that wall Mal? It was like they flew at us."

"Both of them were launched from some sort of catapults in the trees." There hadn't been time for Malcolm to study the setup. They each had wooden knives strapped to their hands to prevent them from falling loose.

"How'd they know we'd be coming here today? We didn't even know until an hour before the meeting." Why was he surprised? Starfleet's record with secured transmissions hadn't exactly been stellar of late.

"I'm sure Admiral Candace is going to have a lot of questions to answer. This is how many breaches, now? Kilmer warned him first when the Tellarites accessed classified information and then again when their engineer got that message directly to you. Maybe they'll move him somewhere he'll be less important." He'd just had to explain his actions detaining the staff at Warp Dev and how Spitz had been allowed to remain in Starfleet. Commander Spitz waived a hearing and was sentenced to the military prison for 9 months. After which he would be dishonorably discharged from service.

"Great, we can't even count on our own people to protect us. I knew there would be issues to deal with, but I thought Earth would be safer than a starship."

"Well, you won't have Romulans trying to kill or capture you on Earth. I hoped it wouldn't be like this. I'm afraid it's going to get worse before it gets better." Mal was pragmatic and tried to keep Trip grounded in reality.

Trip's emotions spiked again. "We should have found some remote planet or place far away from everybody." Trip continued to pace. Back and forth pounding his fist on whatever surface he could reach.

"Is that what you really want to do? If it is give me 48 hours and a location or an extra day and I'll find one. Just give me the word. No problem." Malcolm assured his friend.

"Malcolm Shut UP....." Trip screamed throwing the comm unit across the room, tears falling. "Please just shut up." He pounded his head down on the table. His head was on fire and going to implode.

Malcolm leaned against the far wall waiting and watching.

Trip looked up, wiping tears on his sleeve, at this man who would do whatever he and T'Pol asked of him. "You'd really do that wouldn't you? Even if it meant you never saw us again?"

"I'd hate it, but yes I'd do it if you ask me to." And he would without asking a question. He decided he needed to find a suitable place, in case. He knew exactly who to ask.

"Well, that's good to know. I really wouldn't want to do that, but if it comes to that I will. I can't lose T'Pol, Mal. I'd...." Trip voice trailed off.

"I know. You're not going to lose her and she's not going to lose you either. You have my word on that." If Malcolm knew Trip and T'Pol were safe somewhere he could live with that. He couldn't even think about the alternative.

Trying to get Trip's mind in a different place. "Who do I need to explain the condition of this room to?" Malcolm asked.

"Why would you need to explain this to anyone?" Trip assessed the damage.

"Because my best friend is going to go find out how his wife is and then he's going to sit with her until she's convinced him she's alright. I'll take care of the rest, so get going."

Trip tuned into the bond. "T'Pol's still in surgery and they told me to stay here until they can decide what to do about the guy I beat the crap out of." He could see the headlines. 'Starfleet Captain beats assailant, outside Headquarters, for attacking his Vulcan wife.'

"Don't worry about that guy. Security will deal with him and as for you going after him I wouldn't spend anymore time thinking about it. He's lucky you got to him first." Malcolm wouldn't have used his fist. If Trip hadn't been in the way Reed would have shot him and his phaser wasn't set on stun.

---

He lowered his head into his hands watching T'Pol sleeping. "I can't believe this. I knew we'd draw attention at some point, but not like this. You weren't supposed to get hurt. All I've ever wanted to do was design and build warp drives. How'd I get sucked into all this?" His thoughts reeled. "_I'm an engineer not a....what? What the hell am I? A Captain?....boss?.....politician?....fool? When do I get to be just an engineer?"_

"_You're my husband. My mate. And the best engineer I have ever known. Do not allow fear to destroy what we have. This life we are building." _T'Pol spoke to him, but she didn't know who she was trying to convince more - herself or her mate.

"_I'm sorry, but I get scared sometimes. You know as well as I do what kind of damage the lunatics can do. I can't lose you too." _Trip remembered their daughter. The thought of anything happening to T'Pol terrified him, making it difficult to think clearly.

T'Pol pulled him inside her mind grabbing his face. "_Look at me. We cannot give into the fear. If we do they win. And I will not let them win. We cannot dishonor Elizabeth in that way."_

Her words shook him. He hadn't heard T'Pol mention Elizabeth in months. And then her name always brought forth pain and despair. Now it evoked strength from her mother in a way Trip had been sure would never be possible. It hurt too much. "_How did you do that?"_

"_Do what my husband?"_

"_Find strength from the memory of our daughter? Show me how to do that, so I can fight this." _It was still so easy to let himself fall into that black hole of emotions in his mind when he felt overwhelmed by the forces outside himself.

"_Give me your hand."_ T'Pol requested.

When he placed his hand on the bed she worked her fingers under the bandages to touch his bare fingertips. The calm he felt flooded through his entire body. His physical body reacted laying his head down at her side, eyes closed, concentrating, willing that feeling to push out all the darkness. How was it that Vulcans repressed their memories? Would he ever be that disciplined? He could bury them, but only until his psyche suffered another trauma and the dam burst open mingling with the new images, haunting his dreams once again.

The doctor entered the room reading the chart in his hand. Reaching to awaken the man sleeping at his wife's bedside.

"Leave him, doctor." Ambassador Soval spoke in his most authoritative voice.

The hand stopped. "I need to examine my patient and he has to leave." The doctor impatiently explained.

Soval moved closer. "It would not be wise to interrupt them. Vulcans require their mates presence in times of illness or injury to draw strength from." Soval knew this wasn't true at this moment, but observation of their synchronized breathing told him the two needed time to complete whatever it was they were doing.

The Ambassador had placed himself between the surgeon and the chair Trip occupied. The young man gestured toward Trip with his head. "He's not Vulcan and whatever mumbo jumbo you're talking about it won't help her wounds heal. I need to check on her lung capacity before my shift ends." He'd heard Vulcans went into trances or some such nonsense, but she needed good old fashion doctoring not Vulcan Voodoo.

"It's okay, Ambassador. He can examine my wife now, but I'm not going anywhere." Trip stood defiantly facing the pair.

"I need to give her a thorough exam and you will both need to leave Captain Tucker." The doctor repeated his statement fully expecting the men to do as he said.

Trip tilted his name tag so he could read it. "Doctor Drake, you can do whatever you need to do, but I'm staying. You can discuss it with T'Pol while I speak to the Ambassador." Trip touched T'Pol's fingers before he stepped away from the bed, focusing his attention on Soval.

"Thanks for that." Suddenly Trip remembered. "That was you out there who stopped me? You got inside my head. Called me Charles. Told me I had a duty to my beloved. How?"

"It seemed the best way to get your attention. Your shields were down, so when I lowered mine slightly it was a matter of finding the right words. You told me once you do not like being called Charles and I could sense that T'Pol's endearment means much to you." Soval had only invaded those thoughts he could easily read. To go further would truly have been an invasion of the human's privacy and forbidden by any Vulcan standards.

"I could have killed that guy. My anger almost cost me T'Pol, so thanks. I owe you again."

Soval had told him he owed him when he'd contacted Savoy and Doctor Kivel on his behalf. "I am no longer keeping score Mr. Tucker. We may not be friends, but you have proven to be more than worthy of my respect. I would do no less for any Vulcan. You may wish to contact the Consulate and request one of our own doctors tend to T'Pol. It would be much easier for you both, unless you're prepared to explain your bond to Starfleet's doctors." Soval's face remained unchanged, but Trip could feel his silent amusement at the idea of trying to make the doctor with T'Pol understand anything about Vulcan bondmates.

Did Soval mean he'd do no less for Trip or T'Pol. He wasn't quite sure if he meant Vulcan literally or figuratively. He guessed it didn't matter. Soval had helped him save T'Pol again. "No, I don't think I have enough patience to even attempt such a thing if I ever became inclined to try." He'd have to get a Vulcan doctor over here.

"I have pressing matters to attend to. Let me know if I can be of any further assistance." Soval nodded as he left.

Trip's face brightened as he registered the identity of the two figures headed his way. "Phlox, it's so good to see you." He grabbed his hand shaking it wildly. "I'm sorry for ever complaining about your bedside manner."

"I doubt your sincerity Captain Tucker. The whispers around here are that you are very stubborn and refuse to follow the rules." Phlox teased the younger man freeing himself from the handshake.

"If refusing to leave my wife alone is being stubborn then yes I am. It's a stupid rule and you know it." Trip shot back at him.

Before Phlox had a chance to respond Malcolm placed himself under Trip's arm repositioning his body to hide his face from the view of the others. "Are you okay, Trip?" Malcolm whispered, watching the color drain from his upper body.

Trip let his body relax into his friends grip on him. "T'Pol blocked me out. The doctor is scanning her." No use giving them any record of increased brain activity. The human doctors might not know what it meant now, but they may be able to compare scans and discern something in the future.

Doctor Phlox saw the flicker of pain in Tucker's eyes and accompanying change in his demeanor that Mr. Reed had so valiantly tried to cover for him. He'd known there were things the Vulcan and human had been keeping from him and this behavior only reinforced his belief. "Captain you need to sit down." The doctor then noticed his bandages. Perhaps he was injured.

The surgeon placed the chart at the end of the bed, leaving the room without acknowledging the visitors or Trip.

"I'm fine, doc. Just a little dizzy there. Haven't had anything to eat today." Trip hoped that would satisfy him. T'Pol was back now, having apologized for leaving so abruptly. The pain in his head eased.

"Sit down." Phlox ordered, pushing the chair under his legs, forcing him to drop down into it.

"Check on T'Pol, please. You know more about Vulcans than that kid that just left." The words came out in a huff reflecting his irritation at having been manhandled.

"I have no authority here and by the time I 'cut through the red tape' as I believe you would say you'd both be in retirement. I did take the liberty of contacting the doctors at the Vulcan Consulate. I came to discuss them with T'Pol's doctor. He can request a doctor be transported here to consult on her case." Phlox read through the chart he'd removed from its perch.

Malcolm saw the lines deepen across the doctors brow. "T'Pol's going to be all right isn't she doc?"

"She's appears to be doing; as well as; can be expected. My concern is for Captain Tucker. There's a notation here to remove him from the room by force if he refuses to leave when asked." Phlox knew enough about Tucker to know that he would fight such an action to the point of having to be rendered unconscious with a sedative. "We need to find someone to give the order to allow the Vulcan doctor to be brought here and to take over T'Pol's care."

"That would be me Doctor Phlox." Admiral Kilmer interjected. The Admiral opened his comm unit ordering the transport operator to contact the Consulate to arrange transport of whomever they deemed necessary.

Trip let out a deep sigh. "Thanks, Admiral."

"They aren't to happy with you or me around here right now. Ambassador Soval and I had a conversation several days ago regarding your safety and being allowed to provide their own personnel to ensure you remained unharmed. Also said it was important he correct my state of ignorance on Vulcan law and your 'status' as the husband of a Vulcan. It was quite enlightening. The administration here had no idea that you are the final authority in the care of your wife. When I explained they cannot even be in the same room with a married Vulcan female without her husband's permission they began to see the wisdom in allowing you to remain at her side."

Trip winced a bit at this. They had not told the Admiral about his citizenship or anything about Vulcan law. "We left out a few details, but not to hide anything. We just didn't think it was important because we're on Earth and not operating under Vulcan laws."

"I understand, but in the future you need to keep me apprised of all relevant data. It may not be relevant as a rule, but it can prove to be useful on days like today." Admiral Kilmer had learned long ago that one gathered and filed away as much information as was available. You never knew when some of it might be needed.

"Well, I'm sure the Ambassador gave you all the data he thought you'd need to have. It won't happen again, sir." Trip swallowed trying to hide his relief that Kilmer wasn't going to make an issue of the omissions.

"I've decided to keep you and Captain T'Pol reporting directly to me. You seem to be at the center of several matters and after talking to Captain Archer I find I agree with his assessment that it will make my life easier." He found Trip Tucker a rather intelligent, honest and extremely loyal officer, but also headstrong and stubborn. He'd received calls from every department regarding the Captain today. The last being from the medical director who was upset at Tucker's disregard for the rules and for administering a nasal inhibitor to his wife without the doctor's knowledge.

"You sound like Commander Reed." Trip stated as he gazed at Malcolm.

"I keep telling him he's never going to have a normal, quiet life. He doesn't really want that anyway. If he did he wouldn't have gone out into space in the first place and he definitely wouldn't keep putting himself in the middle of every squabble he comes across. And what fool really thinks pursuing a relationship with a Vulcan for years and then marrying her would lead them to a quiet life? Besides, he'd be bored in a weeks time." Malcolm laughed at his friends incredulous look.

"Okay, maybe I don't want a quiet life of obscurity, but I could really get used to not being a target for every nut job we run across. The whole point of coming back to Earth was to keep T'Pol from getting hurt. That's worked out real well so far hasn't it?" Exasperated Trip slide his chair forward and reached out to touch his mate's fingers.

Kilmer watched the touch, knowing it was the only public touch Vulcans allowed. "The Vulcans have become insistent that they be allowed to take over your security themselves. I told the Ambassador I'd leave it up to you. Talk to them and let me know what you want to do. Admiral Candace has been reassigned to the security staff at United Earth, so I have to promote somebody to take over at Headquarters."

Everyone visibly reacted to this piece of welcomed news. Admiral Kilmer was glad to be rid of William Candace. Let the bureaucrats at UE deal with his narrow-mindedness. Kilmer was tired of trying to convince him that the hope that was found along with the evils in the Pandora's box that space travel unleashed on the universe was only possible if all the species worked together. Earth could stop all space exploration, in fact they could have refrained altogether, and those evils would eventually have made their way to humanity regardless.

"Whoever it is will have strict orders that whatever you say goes as far as personal security for yourself and Captain T'Pol. Also you have permission to implement Taggart's plans. The sooner the better." The Admiral turned to leave. "Oh I took care of your meltdown earlier. You won't have any problems. If it happens again try to keep that temper in check. It's gets really messy when one of my officers tries to beat a man to death." Kilmer was amazed the man had fared as well as he had. If it had been his wife he wasn't sure he'd had used his fist.

As the Admiral turned the corner. "We'll reschedule our meeting for in the morning. And we'll come to you this time." That's what Tucker had wanted in the first place. He felt his team's security measures would be better able to keep them protected. He'd been right and Starfleet couldn't afford not heeding his warnings in the future.

A Vulcan officer Trip didn't recognize came into the room. "Captain Tucker, Captain Archer's on his way to see you, sir."

"Thanks, Major." He didn't know what else to say.

"Mal, unless you're ready to go back to work you need to get out of here. Jon's not going to understand and he'll want you back on _Enterprise_ the minute he sees you." Trip didn't want to have to explain Malcolm's presence here when his commanding officer had only received rather short cryptic messages from him while he was off duty.

"I'll call you tonight. Just to be sure all's well." Malcolm took his leave through a side door at the other end of the corridor.

Jon arrived just before Doctor Drake reappeared with Doctor Valar and two assistants from the Vulcan Consulate. Drake stood at the back of the room as Phlox and the Vulcans consulted on T'Pol's condition. Jon took in the interactions between Trip, T'Pol, and the doctors. They were discussing the Vulcan's care, but never once asked the T'Pol for anything other than how she felt. Trip's expression was as blank as any Vulcans. He listened intently to their assessment and gave permission for treatment to proceed. Even Phlox had been taken back by the Vulcan doctors treatment of T'Pol. He was especially thrown by Trip's acceptance and handling of the whole scene. He began to suspect there was something he was missing when Tucker voiced a request for T'Pol to return to their home this evening to convalesce.

"I'll do what I can to get you home, darlin. I promise if I can convince them you'll be sleeping in our bed tonight. We can meditate after I speak to Jon and the doctor. Be patient and get some rest. Okay." Trip told her quietly.

"Yes, husband." T'Pol replied knowing she could not argue with him with the Vulcan doctors here thrusting Trip into this act of being a proper Vulcan husband.

"Captain Tucker. I'm Sub-Commander Kaso. Ambassador Soval has assigned me to you and Captain T'Pol. The doctor has advised me of your request to take your wife home."

"Yeah, if she's well enough."

"The doctor sees no reason why this would not be possible, but I require your permission to complete some security sweeps of your residence. A fully trained medic will be a part of the team with expertise in Vulcan and human physiology. There will be security at your residence at all times." Kaso waited for Trip's reply.

"I don't want anyone in the main part of the house, but you're free to sweep the rest whenever you deem it necessary. Put whatever security measures you wish in place, but keep us informed. We'll work out the rest of this once my wife is safely home." Living surrounded by bodyguards and visual surveillance wasn't the best of circumstances, but if it meant T'Pol would be safe he'd allow it.

"A Commander Taggart says you have given him permission to handle certain security measures." The Sub-Commander questioned.

"Yes. He's Starfleet, but he is operating as more of a personal favor for Commander Reed." Trip hadn't had time to ask Malcolm exactly how Taggart got permission to work with Trip and T'Pol.

"If you have no objection I wish to have Commander Taggart assigned to your security staff permanently. He's skills and dedication will prove to be very useful."

Trip smiled at what amounted to practically adopting Taggart by the Vulcan. He must be extremely good at his job if a Vulcan was willing to so openly praise him. "That can be arranged, but I'd prefer to speak to the Commander first. If he has no objection I'll speak to Admiral Kilmer."

"I've spoken to the Commander. He's agreeable and Admiral Kilmer has given approval for any request concerning your security."

Trip sat there stunned. He and Soval were going to have a lot to talk about and very soon. What had the Vulcans threatened Starfleet with to get them to look the other way and give the Vulcans carte blanc where Trip and T'Pol were concerned.

"Fine, then Commander Taggart's with you. I'd like you and he to be in command together. Let us know what your plans are and try to do that before you start changing things, whenever possible."

"As you wish Captain. I would have suggested such an arrangement if you had not. We'll let you know when the arrangements have been made to take you and Captain T'Pol home." The Sub-Commander left his new commanding officers sitting there in stupefied silence.

Jon listened to the conversation and wanted to know what exactly the Vulcans had said to Kilmer. "Where'd Soval get all the clout to back Kilmer into a corner? I heard he insisted Kilmer get rid of Candace and let them take over security for you and T'Pol, but I didn't believe it."

"I don't know anymore than you do, except that Soval meet with the Admiral and...I think Kilmer said he 'corrected his state of ignorance about my status as the husband of a Vulcan'. I thought it sounded like the Soval I used to know." Trip smiled at that thought. He hadn't seen that cranky old man since their time together on _Enterprise_ trying to prevent a war with Andor. "I'm sure he came across as pompous and ornery, when he said it, but I'm glad he did it if it means they'll finally listen to us about security. If they want warp six in 6 months all this nonsense has got to be dealt with. We need to get to work not be running around dodging bullets and having meetings."

"Maybe you could help me figure out how to get along with the Ambassador. He seems to trust you and he still hates me." Soval and Jon had moments where it seemed they understood one another, but they were short-lived.

"He doesn't hate you. You just have to stop seeing him a Vulcan and see him as an ally. I guess getting to know T'Pol has made it easier for me to see past most Vulcans stoic expressions and proclamations about not having emotions. You have to read their body language." Trip knew that was not a skill Jon had developed. If he had he would have known how to read Trip. The person he was closest to for several years, but never truly understood. He knew it was possible because T'Pol and Malcolm had become experts at reading him. But Jon was his friend and Trip had finally come to terms with the limitations of the man.

"It's not just Vulcans. You seem to have broken through to the Andorians and the Tellarites without much trouble. I can talk to them and have good relations with certain individuals, but you and T'Pol have them all working with you." That easy-going nature of Trip's was deceptive. He slipped past your defenses and wormed his way under your skin. Once there he used all that southern charm to get you to see things his way. With his charm and T'Pol's focus they made a great team.

"If all we had to deal with was the aliens and autograph hounds we'd be fine. It's the isolationists, xenophobes, and what passes for journalists these days that are causing all the problems." It was oddly comforting to be sitting here with Jon. It had been a long time since Trip felt this way in his presence. He'd missed it.

"Hey, Trip. Slacking off again?" Billy yelled from the end of the corridor. Melissa at his side punching him in the ribs for being an 'insensitive boob'.

"I can think of better ways to get some time off Billy. Did you get everything set up?"

"Yes, sir. Everyone will be there bright and early to run the simulation." Billy handed him a padd. "I made a couple of notes for you to look at. It might be better if T'Pol looked it over, but I didn't know if she'd be up to it."

"I'll take care of it later. Any surprises I need to know about?" Trip was breaking his own rules about no discussions about work when off-duty.

"The hull is just about ready to be welded together. The supports are ready to go in and I'm not positive, but I think I saw Wilkins and that Andorian gal hauling the last of the components for the impulse engine into place." Billy tried to remember the Andorian engineers name.

"Lieutenant Juz said she had a way to get it to fit in the space available. If you saw them starting to construct it she must have figured it out." Trip saw Billy file her name away for later. Not that he'd be able to find it when he needed it later. The boy could do most anything with an engine, but couldn't put a name and face together to save his life.

"Enough shop talk. How's T'Pol and how are you doing?" Concern replaced the professional mask the young man wore when talking about work.

"She's better. They're going to let me take her home tonight." Trip felt the wave of pleasure that statement gave his mate.

Melissa snapped her fingers. "Burke said you're supposed to call him before you leave here. Something to do with the arrangements you wanted him to take care of for T'Pol. Some supplies he needed you to have loaded into your shuttlepod."

"Thanks. He's setting up the medical bay so T'Pol can be at work and still rest." Trip knew she wouldn't stay at home and recuperate. He'd be able to concentrate better if she was close by, so he could check in on her anyway.

Billy looked over at the bed to see if T'Pol was still sleeping or meditating. "We're going to get out of your way. See you in the morning. Tell T'Pol we stopped by." He hugged Trip on the way by. "Try to get some sleep, you look like shit."

Trip held him in the embrace. "Gee, thanks you sure know how to cheer a guy up. I'm sure T'Pol knows you're here, but she really needs to meditate. She's a little cranky if she doesn't." He released him from the hug and reached for Melissa. "You'll see her tomorrow. Thanks for stopping by." Billy noted the larger security contingent in the corridor as he walked by the group. The Vulcans must be serious about keeping them safe.

Jon and Trip sat quietly chatting while T'Pol rested. In the back of Trip's mind floated the questions about what had happened to him earlier. That mental list of questions and things to do had become cumbersome to keep in his head. One thing ticked off the list and ten things were added.


	8. Chapter 8

Healing to Your Life – Chapter 8

The ride home was uneventful; yet nerve wracking. Taggart arrived with the shuttlepod at a rear exit of Starfleet HQ and loaded the stretcher holding T'Pol. Trip stood by with the supplies silently praying nothing went wrong. The security teams scanned and rescanned the house after walking the perimeter several times before allowing the pair to enter.

Once settled, after arguing about switching sides of the bed with him to prevent his accidentally bumping the wound in her chest, Trip left his wife sleeping. When she decided to be stubborn about something he often didn't stand a chance. He determined he needed to try to understand what things she was likely to be uncompromising about, but things like this confounded him. And people accused him of being bull-headed.

Trip Tucker sat at the kitchen table, sipping a cup of tea, trying to talk himself into eating. He'd pulled a selection of unappetizing leftovers from the refrigeration unit and dumped them on a plate, but could only stare at the makeshift meal in his weary state.

The door bell sounded startling him, then causing him to run to answer it, so the noise wouldn't wake T'Pol.

"Captain Tucker, I'm Jeff Mukavey." The man said as he offered his hand.

"Nice to meet you Mr. Mukavey. I'm Trip. Would you like to come in?"

Trip dismissed Kaso. "Thanks Sub-Commander, we'll be fine." Trip watched the Vulcan walk back down the driveway.

"I'm Jeff, by the way." He passed him the dish he held in his hand. "Betty thought you could use a meal for tonight. Heard you've had a busy day."

Trip couldn't stop the ironic laughter. "You could say that." Holding the dish against his body he walked back to the table, pointing to the plate sitting there. "I was trying to convince myself this would taste good." The odor now assaulting his nose reminded him he hadn't eaten all day. "Tell your wife I said thanks. She's right, it really seemed like too much work to make anything." He lifted the lid to find what looked to be a vegetable casserole of some kind. Thankful T'Pol could eat it too.

"How's your wife?" Jeff asked lowering his voice.

"She's in the other room sleeping, finally." Trip sat heavily in the chair he'd been occupying before, placing the dish down as well.

Not expecting Mrs. Tucker to be home, the reports of the injury she'd received said it was severe, Mukavey considered leaving. "I wish this could have waited, but there was a reporter at our house today asking questions about you. I thought you'd want to know. Susie got very defensive and told her off before my wife came out and threw her off our property." He really had wanted to wait, but seeing all the activity around the house today had convinced him it might be better to warn them sooner rather than later.

"I'm sorry." His hand swiped through the air. "This place is listed under a shell corporation, so nobody could find our house. Someone must have followed us." Trip was so glad he'd followed Malcolm's advice and set up the dummy company to protect their privacy, but it hadn't worked and now there was something else to worry about.

Jeff could see the anxiety his news had caused. "Actually, Susie says it might be her fault. She mentioned that our new neighbor, the warp engineer, was going to help her fix her scooter. She thinks the reporter is one of her classmates' mother. The woman only asked about you. We don't think she knows you're married. Susie and Jamie have both promised not to mention you to anyone again." He was trying desperately to alleviate some of Tucker's anxiousness.

"Tell her it's okay. She shouldn't have to keep secrets about her friends and neighbors and we're really sorry it's necessary." Not only did he and T'Pol have to keep secrets now he had the neighbor kids doing it too. "Are there any other families with kids nearby?" Couldn't have anyone else being harassed.

"There's the Rogers. They live about a mile back through the woods. They have a boy about Susie's age. Stevie, I think. He comes over to play once in a while but he seems to be the bookish type. Plays indoors a lot." Jeff knew why he'd asked. This only made him want to ask how concerned they should be.

"I'll have my security guys check it out. Make sure nobody bothers them. Guess we need to keep the whole neighborhood safe since we're the reason for all the interest." Trip ran his hand through his hair and downwards to its resting place pulling at the back of his neck. "Can you ask Susie or your wife if they know that reporter's name?"

Trip's arm dropped to his side as his head snapped toward the bedroom. "Excuse me." Trip said as he stood and raced out of the room.

"Dammit, T'Pol you're supposed to be sleeping." He moved to assist her, but stopped short when she glared toward their guest. In a whisper he snapped at her. "You're hurt. I think you can forget the no touching and let me help you."

Her arm came up to stop him. "No. I'm fine. I wish to lay on the couch. Could you bring me a cup of mint tea?" Wanting to give him a task to help relieve his worry.

Trip stood there trying to decide what to do. Ignore her edict about no touching or comply and get her tea. Seeing the determination in her face he turned to the kitchen muttering under his breath. "Damn woman can be so damn......" His gaze went to the table where their neighbor was still sitting. "Sorry about that. She can make me so totally irrational, like that." He snapped his fingers.

Jeff cracked a knowing smile. "I completely understand. You've met my wife, Betty. She's a ball of fire when she gets worked up, so I know exactly what you're talking about." He tried to be supportive as he watched Trip slam the cup onto the counter before he poured water over the teabag. "Maybe I should come back some other time. It looks like you've got your hands full and what I wanted to ask about can wait." Jeff pushed the chair back from the table and started to rise.

Trip was sure he knew what he wanted to talk about. He might as well get it over now. "Hang on. Let me get her settled and then we can talk. It'll give me a chance to cool down before I manage to make things worse." Trip took several deep cleansing breaths trying to reign in his anger as he grasped the teacup, so tightly his knuckles turned white, and went to do what he could to help T'Pol.

He came back and again sat down at the table. "If I were I'd be worried about the safety of my family with all the attention your new neighbors seem to be drawing." Trip could see the look of understanding from the man across the table from him.

"Yeah, 24 hours of news coverage about the heads of the new Warp Development Project, your records aboard your ship, and all the aliens you're working with seems to be all anyone wants to talk about." Jeff Mukavey couldn't believe the press coverage. Colleagues at the office had been abuzz about them all day. It was worse than when they won the war with the Xindi.

"Your security teams have been fairly thorough checking the neighborhood today. The kids think it's all some big game. Jamie even asked if he could get you to teach him to fight with the sticks you were using the other day when they were here."

Mukavey paused for a minute. "I just need to know my wife and kids are safe. Will your security teams keep them out of harms way if something happens? Because I don't think it's going to work if we just forbid Susie and Jamie to come over here?" All they talked about was the engineer who was so nice to them and his Vulcan wife, who wasn't mean and did touch sometimes. They liked the couple and he and his wife would have to lock them in the house or move to keep them away from their new neighbors.

Trip half expected him to say he didn't want his kids to come around anymore. "We have a safe room, under the garage. If there's any trouble they'd be locked in there until it's safe. If there ever is any trouble you can come here or call here and security will help you. I'll talk to them and see what they can come up with. They might already have plans in place. I haven't had a chance to talk to them yet."

Trip refilled his lungs. "We'd be happy to explain all this to Susie and Jamie. And just so you know the Vulcans have taken over security for both T'Pol and I, so you'll being seeing more of them around." Trip had no idea if telling him all this would ease his mind, but it was the best he could do at the moment. He'd fought with Malcolm about using converting room in the basement, insisting Mal was being his over cautious over the top prepared self again. But now he saw the need for it.

"They're very formal aren't they? They strike me as very no nonsense.... but very good at their job." Jeff watched as Trip smiled slightly and nodded 'yes'. That made him feel better somehow. "I'll talk to the kids, but I'll let you explain all this to them. They might take it more seriously coming from you. If you can get to that reporter maybe we won't have to worry about this, at least for a while." Jeff wasn't naive enough to believe that the press wouldn't eventually find them, but maybe they could postpone it until things died down some. The news reports hadn't mentioned the Tucker's personal relationship, so maybe they didn't know about that, yet. Several little explosions of interest were preferable to one big one.

"I'll let T'Pol talk to them. That no nonsense attitude should work well with kids." That stoic expression with her dark focused eyes meant business. "Trust me they'll take it very seriously once she's done with them. And the Vulcans will relax a little once you get to know them." Trip wasn't sure if they relaxed or just grew on you after a while. He just knew while he found them slightly annoying, at times, he didn't find them to be as abrupt and arrogant as he once had.

The father chuckled slightly remembering his son's crush-like proclamations about the Vulcan. "You might be right. All Jamie could talk about for two days was your wife's ears. He really likes them and her." Jeff opened the door. "I'll let you go take care of your wife. And if Saturday isn't going to work for you just call the house and let the kids know. I'm sure they'll understand." Jeff felt better about their safety. He knew he couldn't protect them from everything, so he'd have to try to keep them as safe as possible. It helped that the Tucker's were so willing to make sure the kids didn't get hurt.

Trip was amazed the father seemed comfortable allowing his kids anywhere near them. "Saturday's still good. Tell them to wear old clothes so they can get dirty. And if it's alright with you we can work with Jamie and the staff? I can get protective gear and a smaller staff for him to learn with and there's more than enough people around here he can practice with." Trip hadn't let that fact sink in. Having all these people roaming around outside was a little disconcerting.

He could hear Malcolm's very direct stance on the subject. "_Would you rather feel uncomfortable being watched or be dead?"_

"_He's right husband."_

Trip shut the door as Jeff left. "_Don't talk to me I'm still so mad at you.... Just don't talk to me." _If he let her talk to him he'd forget he was angry. He went to warm up dinner.

The comm unit sounded. The call he'd been expecting all evening, and dreading. His parents.

--

His feet appeared just before his voice was heard. "Son-of-a..." Trip came flying out from under the tube. "Morning Admiral..." Trip addressed Kilmer as he ran in the opposite direction working at pulling himself free of the outer covering he had on.

Dumping the dirty jumpsuit into the recycler as he passed through the doors of the medical section he began yelling before he reached the room. "T'Pol, get back in that bed, now." He paused to catch his breath. "You're not supposed to get up, except to use the bathroom and if you keep ignoring me I'm going to have them strap you down and make you use a bedpan." Trip stood in her path. He'd let her have her way last night, but enough was enough.

T'Pol had blocked him out of the bond or so she thought, but 'here he is'. Her chest came up and her stance became more defiant as she argued back at him. "I cannot remain in that bed any longer. Walking around will not harm me." T'Pol insisted. Laying in bed with nothing to do, but battle her demons and listen to Trip's calculations, as he tried to solve the problem with the power matrix converter fluctuating, had all but driven her mad.

Trip refused to let her pass. "The doctor said your lungs need time to heal to prevent them collapsing again." Her breathing was already becoming shallow and he knew the dry raspy cough would soon follow. "Get back in that bed. I swear if you don't, I'm going to order them to stand over you when I'm not here."

T'Pol continued to try to get around him until the coughing started. Her chest began to get tight and the amount of air her lungs took in shrank with every breath. Anger became her lifeline. It gave her something to hold onto to find strength, to find her control.

"Your emotions are coming through loud and clear, darlin." She wasn't going to listen and his own anger was starting to build a head of steam. "Sub-Commander Kaso, Commander Taggart get in here."

"Yes, sir." The two responded as they came through the door.

"When I leave, I order you both to stand by this bed and see to it that Captain T'Pol doesn't leave it." He told them as he drilled his eyes into his wife's.

"Yes, sir. Is she allowed to use the facilities, Captain?" Taggart inquired.

"Vulcans aren't like us **mere humans** so she shouldn't need to get up more than once." The decibel level of his voice rose as he continued to stare directly into her face.

T'Pol wasn't in the mood for bickering back and forth. "I am the same rank as you Captain and I will simply order them to leave." T'Pol kept the anger out of her voice, but it was very evident in her eyes.

"You have to stay in bed and if you won't I'll find a way to make you." Trip bellowed at her.

Having followed the Captain Admiral Kilmer stood in the doorway. Not sure if this was a personal matter or a Starfleet matter, but determined to get Trip Tucker back to business. "I thought Archer was pulling my leg when he said you two were going to turn the rest of my hair gray. You need to stop acting like teenagers, and get back to work."

Kaso stepped for offering Tucker some assistance. "Kal'i'farr t'du ...."

Trip hurriedly cut Kaso off not fearing where he was headed with the mention of T'Pol being legally bound to him as her husband. "Let's stop right there Sub-Commander." Stepping to right Trip directed both Kaso and Taggart to leave by waving his hand toward the open door. "I'll call you if I need you. You're dismissed."

They cleared the doorway, nodding as they went, as Trip's hand closed around the knob. "Sorry Admiral. Thanks for your help, but we'll work it out." The engineer informed him as he closed the door and locked it.

Kilmer turned to the young man at his left. "Are they always like this?" He asked while trying to determine how upset to be that Captain Tucker had just told him to butt out and shut the door in his face.

Ensign Burke thought for a moment, not wanting to make the situation worse. "I'm not sure what you mean, sir? If you're asking if he's always so protective? Yes, he is about Captain T'Pol and his warp drive. I haven't known them long, but they are both that way. I imagine this happened because Captain Tucker was late." Burke knew Tucker often forgot appointments or was late to meet Captain T'Pol when he was problem solving in engineering.

"Late? Late for what?" Admiral Kilmer had shown up early for their scheduled meeting. Maybe this was something to consider in the future, especially since Tucker had been adamant that the meeting could not take place before 11:00 hours.

"This is the time he and Captain T'Pol usually take a break and meditate together. Captain Tucker is 20 minutes late and Captain T'Pol must have decided to go get him. They'll argue then everything will be fine until next time." The Ensign had walked into their office when the door was closed to find them sitting across from each other with their eyes closed. He assumed they were meditating because he'd heard Vulcans needed to meditate daily.

"They really do argue a lot, then?" Archer told him they had a unique relationship, which no one understood and he'd just have to learn to deal with.

"Not argue as much as disagree, loudly. It's just the way they communicate sometimes, sir. Don't take it seriously because they never do." Ensign Burke had been privy to several of their disagreements and their meditation sessions afterwards. He suspected there was much more going on than he could observe, but it was personal so he left it alone. "The Captain will be fine before your meeting starts. They'll have worked it out by then." The pairs voices could always be heard when they started to disagree, then they worked their way back to a more normal tone until the disagreement was settled. The assistant turned to walk away thinking how he and the rest of the staff had already collectively concluded it was best to leave them to work things out or they would never get past whatever the problem was.

Trip stopped being angry and sat on the end of the bed. "Darlin', you have to stay in bed. I start this me Tarzan you Jane thing when I get worried about you and I can't think about anything else." He instantly knew she didn't understand his allusion to the old movie characters.

As the pictures of a scantily clad male dragging a woman by the hair to his cave came into her mind Trip felt her amusement and pleasure. He shook his head side to side with a smirk that said I really can't believe this. "That's just great, you like it when I act like a caveman."

"It is the Vulcan way for a mate to protect his wife." Vulcans had been clansmen in their past and had not yet managed to rid their culture of some of the more persistent remnants of that past, such as Pon Farr and their rather primitive, instinctual behavior towards one's family.

"I'm not Vulcan, we don't live on Vulcan..." With some exasperation in his manner he continued. "...and you have to stop encouraging my behavior." He shook his head back and forth, throwing his arms over his face while grasping the back of his head with his hands. "It's making it harder for me to control it." He'd exercised every technique he'd learned to keep his higher brain functions in control with varying degrees of success. He could hear her excuses forming. His movement stopped as he looked directly in her eyes. "And don't bother trying to deny it. I can feel your reaction." He felt a slight possessiveness, pride, and arousal.

Clamping down on her emotions T'Pol responded. "I will try. Our training starts early and I will require much practice to learn to act more like a human wife." T'Pol was still very unsure of her emotional control and having little in depth knowledge of human relationships left her insecure.

"I don't want you to act human and I don't want to act like a Vulcan. We need to find a way to make this work for both of us." He stopped trying to gather his thoughts. "I understand this is what you were taught, but please you have to find a way to keep those thoughts from reaching me." Somehow he'd tapped into some deep need in her to be protected by him and while he understood he still needed to find a way to satisfy it without becoming a mindless savage.

She reached out taking his hands in hers. Suddenly it felt as if he got sucked into her head through a vacuum and thrown into their white space.

Something was off. The walls he'd always perceived to be here were, but now they weren't shimmering and undefined, they were solid and hard. The floor had always been solid, but now had a cold, steel-like look and feel to it.

"_T'Pol what's wrong?"_ The uncertainty coursing through his body was only partly his.

Her body had taken on the undefined quality this space usually held. "_T'Pol why are you blocking me out?" _He could feel her struggling with her emotions.

"E_motions are overwhelming me. I cannot suppress them and allowing you to take them on is not helpful." _It actually made it worse because she then worried he'd be injured mentally or physically.

"_**Let down your shields."**_ He stated raising his voice only slightly. Instead he pronounced each word very distinctly leaving little doubt of how serious he was.

"_I cannot allow my emotions to_ _overwhelm you or you'll be distracted while working."_

"_I can't work if I'm worried about you. And don't you ever try to make this a choice between you and my job or Starfleet." _He didn't know her thinking was and right now he didn't care. He was tired of her always putting duty and career before herself. "_I don't care what I'm doing if you need me you need to tell. There's no making a choice for me and you know that." _Very insistently he told her. "_That's why you didn't tell me?"_

"_You need to complete the warp drive and you will be unable to do that if you must be concerned about my emotions and lack of control." _T'Pol would not let her mate suffer because of her lack of control.

He'd spent years loving her and waiting for her to be with him. There was nothing more important than her. Would she ever understand this about him? "_I get to decide what I need to do and if you keep making the choice for me, especially if it's for anything but you, I'll quit. I'll quit everything and demand my rights as your husband, Get Soval to send us to Vulcan, on the fastest shuttle he can find, before Starfleet can through me in the brig." _Vulcan citizenship gave them both access to transportation anywhere a Vulcan ship was headed. The High Council had been less antagonistic to him lately and some had even developed some respect for his abilities. Finding an engineering position on her home world might not be so difficult anymore. And if it meant keeping her safe and healthy he'd leave Earth in a heartbeat.

She hadn't known of his thoughts but could feel his resolve now. If she pushed him he just might do it and she'd have little choice, but to go along. T'Pol did not have the control or energy to deal with this now. She needed to meditate. "_You must return to work. The Admiral will be angry if you do not."_

The image of what he'd done came into his mind's eye. It wasn't one of his best moves shutting that door in the Admiral's face. As he erected the shields he needed for melding with her he asked her to do the same. "Put up your shields and we'll try a quick melding meditation before I go. And _I will go, but only if after we're done you let down your shields and take whatever you need from me to get through the rest of the day." _They had been working on erecting mental shields that allowed them to meld without sharing everything like bondmates normally would.

Trip suspected the pain medication she had been taking was interfering with her ability to employ her suppression techniques. He was thankful it was weakening her abilities, so she couldn't shut him out. T'Pol had always seen her lack of control as weakness, no matter the reason, and once Trip understood he tried to convince her it was not some flaw in her character, but failed. It became easier to accept her irrational behavior and just deal with the crisis.

A sense of bewilderment filled his mind when his acceptance of her manner registered. As hard as he knew T'Pol tried she still had no idea what to make of his myriad of emotions. She often felt several emotions at once, but no where near as many as he did. She found it confusing and near impossible to translate what he felt, at times. She'd made the attempt to identify the individual emotions she felt were his love for her, but found the list to be daunting.

Every new situation brought new emotions into the mix. Today it might be anticipation and wonder that filled his thoughts as his feelings for her were expressed and then it became adaptation, patience, and understanding. She had no frame of reference for what most of these emotions meant beyond the name her mate attached to them. When she examined the emotions she held for him, which she knew he identified as her love for him, she could not reconcile the two. She felt protectiveness, contentment, loyalty, caring, trust, desire, and responsibility. Perhaps a few others, but how could what he felt and what she felt be the same in her mate's mind?

Their fingers touched the contact points on their faces making the connection between their minds stronger. Thoughts passed back and forth. Trip felt her fear, anger, frustration, confusion, and pain. Without identifying where these feelings emanated from he began pushing them behind the barriers he created to house them until T'Pol was able to process them one by one and suppress them. Once her emotions were safely tucked away in his mind they returned to the white space. Trip was glad to see it had started to return to a more recognizable state.

"_I will remain in bed and I will continue to allow you to assist me." _She'd keep the bond flowing openly, but only let him assist her enough to keep from causing herself or anyone else harm. There would be time to sort through her emotional turmoil when they meditated this evening.

"We're not done with this." He told her slipping out of the bond. Thoughts of Kilmer entered his mind as it cleared. How was he going to explain his behavior?

Suddenly his eyes lit up as the focus of the morning came to the forefront of his thinking. He found the clock on the wall and smiled. "Good, there's still 30 minutes before the meeting. I have to go." He gave her a quick peck on the cheek and stormed out of the room at a full run leaving everyone staring at his disappearing backside.

She looked up just as her husband dumped several padds in her lap, smiling. "Thanks for staying in bed. You can work on these. It'll keep you busy." Exiting as quickly as he'd entered he yelled back over his shoulder. "When you get to the warp engine let me know and I'll give you the corrections. I think I just figured out what's wrong with the power matrix." And off he went.

---

"Okay, Billy let her rip." The adjustments were made according to the new calculations he'd just worked through. They watched the readouts as the power matrix ramped up and the plasma flow began to compress. For 10 minutes the team watched as the power remained level. Then the readouts began to fluctuate wildly. The converter dropped offline as the odor of fused metal reached them.

Trip entered the meeting. "I apologize for being late. Ran into a couple problems with the simulation." He remained polite, but this really was the last place he wished to be.

Kilmer, who was still annoyed at his earlier behavior, marveled at his professionalism as he greeted the Ambassadors. Offering the ta'al to Soval, a handshake to the Andorian Krek, and a series of insults to the Tellarite Jhor. Jhor accepted the greeting, but assured the Captain it was not necessary to observe the ritual of insults, with Tellarites stationed on Earth, in the future. The Admiral swore he saw a slight smirk cross Tucker's face at this, he was sure signaled his displeasure at no longer needing to hurl insults at the Tellarites.

The security issues, which had been the purpose of the meeting were discussed. All agreed on the major issues like the team here would not be required to come to San Francisco for meetings. If any meetings were required they would come to Warp Dev. And the Vulcans were officially in charge of Trip and T'Pol's security.

The longer the meeting went on the more obvious it was that Captain Tucker's mind was elsewhere. When he laughed outloud Kilmer's patience came to an end.

"Captain Tucker, do you have anything to add?" The Admiral knew he did because they had discussed the matter earlier. He simply wanted to catch the Captain not paying attention, giving him an excuse to administer the dressing down he deserved.

Trip focused on the Admiral as T'Pol supplied his response. "Yes. I agree we need to add to the security around the locals. We are concerned that the press attention will continue to create traffic difficulties and attract undesirables to the area."

"_Traffic difficulties and undesirables? What's that T'Pol. You're supposed to be helping me here not making me sound like a Vulcan. You know we wouldn't be in this fix if you didn't keep making those stupid comments."_ He teased as a smile broke out in his head.

He'd asked her to keep the bond open and he was paying the price for it. He'd heard her mutterings to herself, in the past, when she was frustrated with someone. They were usually thoughts of physically accosting whomever had offended her sense of calm. But recently she'd began making silent remarks to herself about most conversations going on around her. Her last such remark had been when the Andorian Ambassador began babbling on about something. Trip had no idea what Jhor was saying, but when he heard her call him a 'pompous ass' he couldn't contain his reaction and burst out laughing.

"D_on't you ever give me a hard time about my language again."_ Trip suggested teasingly.

"_I never used such language until I bonded with you, so don't think I will discontinue admonishing you to use less vulgar ways to describe your emotional state." S_he would have to work harder at correcting this behavior, before it became a problem in her own verbal interactions with others, if she was to continue using his technique of preventing an emotional reaction by expressing her displeasure in her mind.

Trip continued his comments to those in the meeting. "Would it be possible to get some added security and some collaboration on some of that advanced technology we need to install around the city from each of you?" Trip caught the knowing look from Ambassador Soval, while Kilmer silently fumed trying to figure out how the engineer had been so obviously thinking about something else, but still tuned into the discussion.

Trip returned to their white space, grabbed his wife, kissing her thoroughly to thank her for keeping him out of trouble.

Ambassador Soval helped bail the Captain out. "Sub-Commander Kaso and Commander Taggart will contact the Ambassadors and the new head of Starfleet Security to make all the essential arrangements."

Archer had definitely been guilty of understatement when it came to Tucker and T'Pol Kilmer decided as he assessed the group around him.

"Admiral Duxton has taken over Security at Command Headquarters. He will be more than happy to work with all the security teams. Admiral Federick will be acting as Starfleet's Ambassador. His office is in the same building as Ambassador Krek and Jhor." Admiral Kilmer promoted both men because they had expressed a commitment to strengthening Earth's alliances with other species.

Lt. Commander Rivers came into the meeting laying two melted masses of metal in the middle of the conference table. "It took longer than we thought for these to cool down. Is there anything else, sir?" The young man asked his boss.

"No thanks." Trip answered as he accepted the padd from Billy.

Trip spoke while running through the notes in his hand. "These are the EPS and plasma conduits from the simulation we just ran. As you can see they didn't hold up very well to the heat from the compressed plasma stream and the increased power our new converter creates."

Admiral Kilmer looked at the engineer. "Does this mean you solved the problem and it works?" Kilmer's face said all was forgiven if this were the case. A look Trip Tucker had come to depend on with his friend Jonathon Archer and now with the Admiral. The engineer had often considered if his career with Starfleet would have been less satisfying if he hadn't been able to rely on his skills with warp technology to smooth the ruffled feathers of his superior officers when the inevitability of his unruly personality pushed them to their limits. It was doubtful.

Trip's face broke out into a grin from ear to ear. "Yes, it does. We'll have warp six on time. We just have to adjust the specs for the power converter backwards to keep the conduits from melting." He was on top of the world and his change in mood reflected this as his mind began listing all the things they needed to do. "We'll have warp 7 or better once we find a raw material that can withstand the heat and the electrical output." They had other issues to deal with to get to warp 7, but they were now solvable.

Trip studied each face. "You need to talk to your sources, see what's out there. T'Pol and I will talk to the engineers and scientists we're working with and see what they can come up with. We have about 4 months while we get the warp six drive up and running." It would be closer to 5 months before the ship was done, but he wanted a month for his teams to manufacture new parts with whatever new materials they came up with.

They still had to make the warp core smaller, but Trip was confident it could be done. The nacellas from the NX program were turning out to be the best solution to the problem with the Vulcans input. Trip knew the hardware's capabilities well from years of working on _Enterprise_ and with slight improvements to the plasma injectors that powered them, the distribution grid that then powered the ship, and a redesign of the matter/anti matter intermix chamber and a smaller, more efficient cooling system, the size of the warp core should be reduced by 50-60%.

----

"Ambassador Soval, could I have a moment?" Trip slid up next to him as he stood to leave.

"Of course Captain. I must congratulate you on your mastery of your bond." Soval felt the vibration as the bond between the Captains hummed back and forth.

"Not exactly my favorite use of our connection, but I have to admit keeping the Admiral off balance has its advantages." Trip hadn't missed the Admiral's stunned reaction when his question fit right into the flow of the conversation when he had quite obviously not been paying attention.

Soval agreed on his assessment of their deception, but this and other observations told him much about the relationship between the bondmates. They worked very closely together, used their bond to their full advantage, and trusted each other without question.

"What can I do for you?" The Ambassador responded.

"Exactly what did you threaten Starfleet with to get your way on our security? I've never known them to be bullied into allowing a foreign government to operate outside of their diplomatic territory on Earth." Having that much leverage over Starfleet could be a dangerous thing and Tucker wanted to know what had been threatened in his name.

"The Admirals and your President all believe, as we do, that Earth cannot succeed in this war without the assistance of the Coalition of Planets, of which Vulcan is a member. I simply pointed out that the High Council would take it personally if Vulcan citizens were to come to any harm while on Earth. They see the wisdom of allowing us to protect our own interest, as it would relieve them of any blame if there were any problems with security." Soval made a point of giving Starfleet this out as a way to justify the change.

Tucker had to admit he was right. There was little chance of a diplomatic crisis if something happened when the Vulcans were protecting them. "Admiral Kilmer says you informed him of my status as the husband of a Vulcan citizen?" Trip watched his reaction.

Soval didn't flinch or evade his question. "I did. He needed to be aware so he could make the best possible decisions regarding your protection." As Ambassador he'd use whatever he needed to fulfill his duty. Soval also wished to keep control of the information about the protests on Earth to prevent it from reaching space, so there was less of a probability of the Romulans learning of the true nature and extent of the agreements amongst the Coalition members.

When did I start understanding Vulcans, Soval in particular, so well that I can anticipate their answers? Trip asked himself. "In the future I would appreciate it if you discussed it with me or T'Pol before you give anyone private information about us. I don't like getting blindsided by my boss. I really don't like him feeling as if we intentionally kept something from him. And did you have to say he was ignorant?"

Trip knew the Vulcan saw him and humans, in general, that way sometimes. According to T'Pol a Vulcan in the Admirals position would never have allowed himself to be unaware of such information about someone under his command. She was sure Ambassador Soval knew of all laws or circumstances that applied to T'Pol or any other Vulcan stationed on Earth. He would consider it his duty to know and understand anything that could affect those under his supervision.

Soval was not surprised by his reaction. He let the comment about the Admirals' ignorance go. Vulcans and Humans differed on the responsibilities of a superior officer to those under him and Soval saw it as his duty to attempt to educate humans whenever an opportunity arose. "There is no reason for me to disclose any further information regarding you or Captain T'Pol. In the future all requests for information will be directed to your office."

"Thanks. You were right he did need to know, but I would have preferred to tell him myself. Next time try telling me what you think I need to do, okay?"

"That will be acceptable. Is there anything else?" Soval felt no rancor as he appreciated Tucker's directness in stating his position.

"What do your security and intelligence folks know about the attack on T'Pol and I?" Trip was positive they would be investigating the associations of the two men in Starfleet custody.

"I'm surprised T'Pol informed you of their investigation."

"She didn't. The only thing she's ever told me about Vulcan security had to do with her time with them. I've been working and observing alongside Vulcans for a little over five years and if there's one thing I've learned, you're very thorough and keep track of the goings on here on Earth, especially when Vulcan citizens are involved."

"Minister Sorren told me you'd be asking. Seems you've made an impression on him. Which I must say is a near impossible feat. He's very set in his ways and finds it difficult to alter his views. But he may be taking another look at humans or perhaps it's just you. We shall see." Soval realized he had underestimated the young man and maybe even Sorren. He could not allow this to happen in the future. Incremental changes were taking place. The High Council may only be changing their opinion about one human, but that was one more than in the recent past.

"Sorren had the specs for the new hardware we've been given sent to me before I asked and just reminded me it was classified. Please tell me I'm not getting so predictable they have me figured out?" It only seemed fair that if he was beginning to predict Vulcans behavior they should be able to predict his own. But he would rather not be an open book to the anyone besides T'Pol and sometimes Malcolm.

"No you're not. You are curious, ask questions, and wish to be informed about those things that concern you and T'Pol, as you should be. The Minister finds you to be a puzzle with many pieces he has yet not been able to fit together." Soval often thought the same. The engineer had somehow deduced that Vulcans did not volunteer information. Soval was curious if he was even conscious of this fact. One had little chance of finding out anything from a Vulcan if one didn't ask.

Soval pulled items from his inner pocket. "He sent these. This disk is encrypted for you. It contains all the information we have on all the groups operating on Earth." Putting forth a second disk he went on. "This one we wish to be handed over to Section 31, without Mr. Harris knowing where it came from. You have means to accomplish this?"

Trip was sure he knew about Malcolm's past connection to Harris. "Yes, I do. I'll take care of it as soon as I leave here. I know saying thanks is a human thing, but tell Minister Sorren I said thank you, if you would." He'd send Malcolm a message requesting he find a way to send an anonymous package to Harris, which he'd give him when he saw him on Friday night.

"Actually you can do so yourself. Included on your disk are the codes for secure transmissions to anyone on Vulcan. Sub-Commander Kaso will soon deliver a comm unit for your use. Visits to the Consulate have been suspended until your safety can be assured. Minister Sorren will make all investigative data related to you and T'Pol available. Contact him directly and make the arrangements." T'Pau had ordered this done and no one on the High Council offered any objections. Minister Sorren was also ordered to include all investigative reports the Ministry of Security had on Charles Tucker III and his family.

As Soval left he turned. "Your Lt. Sato has instituted new encryption codes for all Starfleet communications. You'll be pleased to know no members of the Coalition have been able to break these codes." Then as if it was an afterthought. "We were astonished to find that you had moved your subspace frequencies into a range near the ones Vulcan starships use. You wouldn't have any idea why that is would you?"

"I may have suggested they investigate why the Vulcans use those higher frequencies. Imagine my surprise when it was discovered that detection of anyone trying to decrypt messages was possible at those levels." Trip smiled. He couldn't wait to tell Hoshi, she'd succeeded. When testing the new frequencies the communications officer's sensitive ears picked up distortions in the links. Further investigation discovered the noise signaled an attempt to intercept the message was being made. The technical teams used this information to track the attempts and locate the source and to develop techniques to prevent the intrusions. Trip debated whether or not to let the Vulcan in on their ability to locate the source, but decided against informing him. He liked keeping people on their toes and always guessing.

---

Trip sat taking in their surroundings. The proprietor of _The Loft Bar and Bistro_ had agreed to rope off a large section of this level for Starfleet every Friday. The atmosphere on each level was unique according to the clientèle being served. The level drew a middle of the road crowd. Happy hour started at 18:00 hours. A selection of food items had been laid out and included recipes the Andorians, Vulcans, and Tellarites would find more to their taste.

He and T'Pol had never joined their staff at these weekly outings, but found it impossible to refuse this evening. Several teams had invited them to help celebrate the successful simulations of the new warp 6 drive. Malcolm, Jon, and several other crewmates from _Enterprise_ were expected to make an appearance to say goodbye before they left Jupiter Station in search of the Romulans, who continued to strike at ships and outposts all over the quadrant.

When he first observed the security teams from Warp Dev he was surprised. None wore the standard issue uniforms, but all had on matching attire of dark pants and Starfleet blue shirts. No insignia to identify them was overtly displayed, but a unified look made it easy to pick them out if need be. The Captains took this a testament to the fact the teams had finally learned to work together as a cohesive unit. The recent trouble with protesters and injury of those they were duty bond to protect may have been what was needed to force them to leave their prejudices, their hard feelings, and their individual needs to be in charge in the past.

Malcolm was the first to join them at the table they had chosen. Trip handed him the disks and gave him a quick rundown of the contents. Vulcan Security had established surveillance of the hate groups they could identify. It seemed the smaller like-minded groups were starting to form larger more cohesive groups to carry out their disruptive actions. Isolationists, xenophobes, and the simple hate mongers had banded together to share resources and personnel even though they did not share the same ideals. They obviously decided their goals were close enough to overlook the reasoning behind them.

One of the larger groups, in particular, had drawn the close scrutiny from the Vulcans. They called themselves Liberators of Earth. They had developed quite a following and their propaganda was particularly violent in nature. They didn't just call for the removal of non-humans from Earth they called for the destruction of anyone or anything connected to aliens on Earth. This was the group that had instigated the attack on Trip and T'Pol. The disk contained the names and contact information for every member of all the groups, but had much more detail about the Liberators of Earth. Trip and T'Pol knew Section 31 should now have enough information to arrest them and then infiltrate and arrest the rest of the groups in the near future. They'd just have to keep their heads down a little while longer and let Harris do his job.

Reed knew the serious nature of the subject and his imminent departure made it necessary to discuss it here but he was not going to allow it to interfere with their downtime any longer. He stuffed the disk in a pocket for safekeeping before declaring, "Off duty rules are back in effect. We've got better things to do than worry about all of this tonight." Malcolm insisted.

MacKenzie strolled quietly up behind his chair wrapping her arms around his neck, softly planting a kiss on his ear. Malcolm jumped startled by the fact that someone had been able to sneak up on him. Both Trip and T'Pol took note of his reaction to the greeting. Once the shock wore off and the redness faded from his face and neck he seemed quite comfortable with her affectionate behavior towards him. They held hands and she touched his arm or the top of his leg while speaking. T'Pol watched their interaction with great interest, as did Trip.

Jon arrived. The astonished look on his face spoke volumes about his surprise at the realization of exactly where his First Officer had been for the week he'd disappeared. Before he sat he decided a visit to the bar was in order. He needed a drink, a strong one.

When he saw Trip beside him he turned his head tilting it back to the table. "So when did this start?"

"She introduced herself one night when we took my parents to dinner. She asked him out and I guess they've been together since. Mal hasn't really told me much." Trip knew without being told that Mal cared about this woman by the way he didn't talk about her. He knew most every detail of every relationship Malcolm Reed had ever had with a woman until now and Mal knew about all Trip's past conquests up until he became involved with T'Pol. He'd just have to wait until Malcolm opened up. Trip had already determined he wouldn't ask, unless he saw a potential problem.

Searching Jon's face Trip's concern for his friend increased. The darkness he'd seen during their mission to stop the Xindi had returned. Determination and duty had once again become the forces that him drove forward. A small pang of guilt assaulted the engineer. Knowing his choice to leave was necessary for his own sanity didn't lessen his remorse over having abandon his friends and fellow crewmates.

"Are you going to be alright out there, Jon?" Trip remembered their talk when the Xindi mission began. Jon felt the weight of the responsibility he'd been given to save Earth back then. Trip had only been focused on revenge, anger, and his own personal issues so he'd missed the more subtle changes in his friends demeanor over the course of their time in the expanse.

"I have to be. There's no one else with experience in space to help lead our fleet against the Romulans." Being a soldier had become his new role. One he accepted, knowing it was necessary.

"Promise me you'll talk to Phlox. I know I had issues with some of his ethics, but he never once betrayed my trust where confidentiality was concerned. You need to have someone to talk to and he's very good at listening if you give him a chance." Phlox knew much about Trip and T'Pol's relationship and also about the things that went bump in the night for each of them, but no one was aware of the secrets he'd held onto for them over the years. Trip prayed he could finally convince Jon of how essential it was to give voice to your demons before they devoured you.

Archer refused to let his melancholy ruin this time with Trip and T'Pol. _Enterprise_ was due to leave space dock in two days and he didn't want to spend this time thinking about the past or what lay ahead. There would be plenty of time to plan and brood about the war. "I'll try."

"Don't patronize me Jon. Promise me it won't be like it was with the Xindi. You'll talk to somebody." Trip tried unsuccessfully to keep the fear out of his voice. Jon had been so erratic and volatile during their time in the expanse. Command decisions weighed heavily on the Captain's shoulders. Trip doubted he'd been able to forgive himself for choices he'd had to make, even though his staff had supported most of them.

Jon felt the concern of his friend and it felt like it had before _Enterprise_ between them. For that he was very grateful, but could see no way to allay Trip's anxiety. Acknowledging his demons he would render him unable to function and do what was required of him. "Like I said I'll try. So, how are you and T'Pol doing? Is she healed up after that attack?"

Watching the creases on his friends face become deeper Trip had no doubt what Jon's thoughts were and knew the discussion was over. Jon still didn't want to talk about it so he was trying to change the subject. "You know it goes. We have our good days and we have our bad days. Our challenge is to be sure the bad days only happen to one of us at a time." And it was a challenge at times. "Her wounds are almost healed. She's not taking any meds and the pain's almost gone." The medication had been interfering with her control. Instead of asking for something different they agreed to deal with her discomfort through the bond.

"Admiral Kilmer assures me you two are as safe as they can make you." Jon had asked Kilmer several times about the precautions being taken to keep the Captains from being attacked. He wanted to know they were going to be okay staying on Earth if they weren't going to be on his ship where he could personally see to their well-being.

"We're going to be fine, Jon. The Vulcans are taking our security very seriously. Hell, the only privacy we have anymore is when we go home and that's only because we refuse to let them in the house." At times it was almost like being back on a starship, but they did have a whole house and a bit of a cushion between them and their keepers.

Upon returning to the table Jon and Trip found a lively discussion about life aboard a starship going on.

"Commander Reed is not happy unless every weapon and person under his command has been tested and retested to ascertain their proficiency." T'Pol stated.

Looking rather put upon. "No rank remember, T'Pol? And I'm not that bad. I just want everything working at peak performance levels whenever possible. That's my job." Malcolm countered.

"How many times did you make Trip recalibrate your torpedoes when we encountered the Klingons last year? How many days did you refuse to sleep when the Augments were running loose? How many sensor scans did we perform on our last mission to the space stations....."

Malcolm threw his hands up in the air, interrupting T'Pol's delineation of his obsessive behavior. "Okay, you win. I'm a little obsessed. It's my duty to protect the crew and I take it very seriously. If I didn't I can't imagine how many times we would have lost Trip or the Captain."

"And for that I am very grateful." T'Pol conceded looking up at her bondmate.

Trip sat in his chair. Taking sympathy on Mal he gently redirected the conversation. "MacKenzie, don't you find Malcolm a little overbearing when it comes to safety and following rules."

Malcolm looked somewhat relieved, but wasn't quite sure the new direction was going to be any less uncomfortable than the previous one.

"No. I'm an army brat, so I understand." Maybe not the more stiff British part of him, but the soldier doing his duty part she recognized. "My dad retired from the military as a Colonel and we traveled all over the world from station to station, so I got to know what being a soldier is all about." She got a faraway look in her eyes remembering growing up, moving from one base to the next. "My Mom loved that life so much that when he retired they didn't settle down. They rent a house somewhere for a few months then like nomads they pick up and move when the mood strikes them."

"You didn't like the military life?" Trip asked knowing military families tended to influence their offspring to follow in their parents career path.

A chuckle escaped at his question. "My dad said I'd only survive if they'd let me skip all the years of training and go right to a command of my own. Seems to think I'm a little too headstrong for my own good. My mother said I liked to set down roots since I was young and that made the military an unsuitable choice for me as well. My brother didn't join up either, but he did inherit the need to move around. His job takes him all over the world." MacKenzie Smith was the only member of her family that owned a home.

T'Pol eyed the drink the server sat before her suspiciously. "I thought you might like to be a bit adventurous and try something new." Trip offered with his sincerest southern gentleman smile. "It's a virgin. If you don't like it I'll get you something else." As he stood to moved\ his chair next to hers.

Malcolm caught the blank look of confusion on her face and leaned in to help her out. "It has nothing to do with sex. It means there's no booze in it." He grinned at the relief he saw in her eyes. "It looks like a Tequila Sunrise, but I have no idea what he could have had them substitute for the tequila?"

She held up the glass watching the unknown red liquid float around in what she surmised was orange juice. "What's in a tequila sunrise?"

Trip caught the question. "It's orange juice and tequila, with a shot of grenadine. Yours has the bartenders own substitute mix using agave cactus nectar and a couple of other ingredients." To his surprise when he asked for the non-alcoholic drinks available he was provided with an extensive list.

----

Trip watched as the couple headed off, hand in hand, to the dance floor across the room. His thoughts drifting as he watched Malcolm nuzzle his face into MacKenzie's neck while whispering into her ear and caressing her back as they moved slowly to the music.

He began to feel aroused, the dancers in his mind were now he and T'Pol, gliding across the floor, holding each other close, caressing each other. His demeanor became quiet and reflective as his thoughts wandered down this path and began to stir his desire.

A new feeling crept in. Sorrow, he felt sorrow and sadness, so overwhelming it threatened to envelop him. His fingers reached out for his bondmate of their own volition. When the joining was complete the feelings intensified. His mind searched for the source of the emotional reaction.

T'Pol? His eyes sought out his mate. Her gaze was locked on the dance floor as his had been. Her thoughts swirled around all the doubts she'd had since she first became aware of her attraction to a human male and her inability to fulfill his needs for affection and touch.

"_T'Pol where's this coming from?"_

Her gaze turned to him. He could see the hurt there. "_You miss sharing this type of closeness with me."_

Why hadn't he been more careful and blocked his thoughts from her? He could evade her and attempt to hide the truth of her statement from her now, but he couldn't lie to her. "_I guess I do sometimes, but it passes." _

These were areas he wasn't sure how to handle. How could he make her understand the difference between wanting something and needing it? And that he could fantasize about something, but not expect, want, or need it in reality.

The thoughts in her mind continued to swirl and move from concern to concern. Regret that she could not be like a human woman offering him a sense of belonging together in a public way. Or being openly intimate in culturally acceptable ways for humans. That he would one day seek out a woman who could give him these things.

"_You're not human T'Pol and I knew that before I ever developed feelings for you. I knew what was and wasn't possible if we became involved, and still here we are." _Knowing what was possible wasn't entirely true. He'd known nothing of bonds. He considered it a bonus.

"_I can see your thoughts and sense the feelings you've tried to keep from me." _Still caught up in what she saw as her failure T'Pol also tried to keep her deepest fears from her mate.

Jon had been deep in a discussion with Scott Neilson. They hadn't seen each other in a couple of years and were catching up on the major events in each others lives. Trip became aware that their attention had been drawn to them even though neither he or T'Pol had spoken a word outloud.

T'Pol sensed his unease and became mindful of Jon's interest in their interactions. This only added to her awareness of her inability to fulfill her bondmates needs.

Time to find somewhere less conspicuous where they could talk. "Didn't you say you wanted to learn how to throw darts?" Trip turned to the open board across from them as he made his statement for the benefit of their audience.

Following Trip's lead T'Pol responded showing her interest. "Yes and I think this would be a good time to learn." She stood and stepped away from the table.

Nodding to those at the table as they moved away Trip continued their inner dialogue.

"_Darlin', I used to bury my thoughts and feelings, but after Lizzie and Elizabeth I've learned not to do that." _Burying his emotions had cost him and those close to him too much. "_There are things I may want, but know I'll never have or have given up for something I need. They come to mind and I allow myself to think about them, the feelings pass, and I move on." _

Seeing she still didn't understand he continued_. "Now the things I need are different. I need to be an engineer and I need you. If I didn't have you or if for whatever reason I couldn't build engines I'd be lost. It'd be like a major part of who I am was missing. I gave up things like touching in public and having you say things in words to me, to be with you. I'd make the same choice again and again to be your husband and have you as my wife, so stop thinking you need to act human. __If I'd wanted a human wife there's a whole damn planet full of them, but I chose you, just as you chose me." _

Trip sat and offered T'Pol the stool next to him then moved his consciousness to their white space. T'Pol's image stood before him eyes cast down to the floor. His fingers lifted her chin upward as his forehead connected with hers and his mind began to focus on a memory.

"Remember that day?" Trip and T'Pol had just left Sickbay. Trip was feeling pretty full of himself having defeated the Orions. The images came with his emotions when T'Pol began her appeal for him to return to Enterprise.

"_You're returning to Columbia?" _T'Pol began and continued by appealing to him using his talents as an engineer to justify her request. Her words stabbing at his insides.

Trip continued playimg the scene out in his head for T'Pol.

"_Why don't you just say it?" _Trip had looked back at her.

"_Say what?" _T'Pol can't say what she wants.

"_That you want me to come back." H_e was in such turmoil. He wanted to be with her so badly, but he couldn't give in. Let her continue to hurt him.

"_I believe I did. I think your presence here would be extremely beneficial to our operations." _

"_No. That you want me back."_

"_I don't know what you mean."_

_She was right there just about to fall off the cliff with him, but not quite. "My mistake. See you around." He had to force the issue. Push her off._

"_Wait, Trip. I want you to come back." _

"_Then I'll think about it." _Almost! She wants me as much as I want her.

"_Trip!" (She kissed him, long and hard)._

Trip let the feelings at that moment wash over them. "_Can you feel it darlin'? Can you feel me? I didn't just want you to ask me to comeback. I needed you to ask. I needed you to commit yourself to making a relationship work. How did you feel that day darlin'?"_ He was desperate for her to tell him he wasn't alone. That she cared as much for him as he did her. That she needed him.

T'Pol replayed the memory from her perspective. Her emotions muted as she had tried to suppress them that day.

"_Let them out T'Pol. Let yourself feel it. I'm right here."_ His hands grasped her shoulders. "_You wanted me to come back for the good of Enterprise, but what did you need T'Pol?_" Trip gently encouraged her. "_What did you need?"_ He whispered. "_We're you afraid I'd leave you again? Did you ache for me like I ached for you?"_

The scene played out. Her emotions started to flood through him: desire, want, need. A warmth started at the base of his brain and worked it's way down his spine. Perspiration formed on his brow and at the back of his neck.

When he said "_My mistake. See you around." to her, p_ain. Intense deep emotional pain ripped through him. That's when he felt her recognition of her need for him. The need that became so overpowering she admitted she wanted him back and when he flippantly responded she forgot all else and acted. Did what she had to to make him stay with her. Forgot where they were and kissed him.

"That's need darlin'. _DO you honestly think I'd give up having you in here with me, give up our most intimate times together, so I can touch you in a bar?" _The meetings at Starfleet and then Terra Prime and Elizabeth happened so soon after this that they had no time to discuss the significance of that day. They had only just begun to recognize their bond, so Trip had not been aware of her internal struggle. He went on his gut instinct and the subtle signs he could discern in her eyes and body language.

T'Pol fought to contain the emotions. "_Perhaps a little more reflection is called for on my part. I do not wish you to ever regret giving up anything to bond with me." _T'Pol considered his statements and the thoughts scurrying across his mind's eye. She caught glimpses of images and thoughts about them in their shared space.

Back in the real world Trip stood holding a dart in the position to throw it in an attempt to regain some composure before he lost all constraint. His body temperature had risen several degrees and his heart was racing. "Let's get to those lessons and practice using our bond, so it's not obvious to everyone what were up to." Refocusing his thoughts became very necessary or he risked forgetting where they were and acting on his thoughts that had begun to head south.

T'Pol assisted him to bolster his control just enough to keep him in check. "Do you think it wise to risk others noticing when you try to use our bond while trying to maintain a verbal conversation?" They usually only used the bond when apart and they found it necessary to talk because Trip found it difficult to keep track of both realities at the same time.

His experiences on Columbia and Enterprise made him worry that others might catch on to their connection if he looked dazed and confused while using it. They had begun working on retraining his brain to interact separately, much like he did when he worked out problems in his head while his hands were busy doing something else.

Keeping his voice low so as not to be overheard, Trip pointed out, as he released the dart on it's flight, "I'll never get better if I don't practice and this seems like a good place to do it." Gesturing with his hands, "We're in a roomful of people who are here to have some fun. If they notice anything that might seem weird they'll just write it off to the alcohol in their systems." And if they didn't he'd just suggest it was the alcohol playing tricks with their eyes.

T'Pol, stood, touched her fingers to his as she lined her feet up to the line on the floor, and prepared to throw her first dart. Taking in the sensation his eyes closed and a smile appeared, which brought forth much stronger sensations from his mate.

Having considered his earlier comments and thoughts she seductively whispered to him. "Once you master speaking through the bond and outloud we should explore those private things you keep imaging we can do in our shared space while in public."

Not exactly sure what she had in mind or what she had picked up from him, but glad she had relaxed letting the sadness go, he encouraged her mischievousness. With a smile in his voice, which trembled suggestively, "Great idea. Then you won't ever have to worry that I'm missing out on anything." He continued to tease as he moved around behind her, leaned in with his hands on her stool, and quietly began explaining the physics of throwing darts.

"Indeed." T'Pol agreed, feeling his warm breath dancing around her neck and ear while listening to his very detailed instructions to keep her shoulders still, move her elbow up at the midpoint of her forward arc, the merits of snapping her wrist versus not, and the absolute necessity for proper follow through.

Her mate appealed to the scientist in her while so unmistakably appealing to her more feminine nature as well. For these moments T'Pol allowed herself to drift with her t'hy'la in their shared space relaxing in to and reveling each emotion she found there.

---

Sorting through the boxes Trip had stored at his parents was an adventure. There were old toys, books, cartoons and movies (he really had watched every John Ford movie, he owned them all), along with a complete set of engineering manuals for a warp 2 engine. And then came the tools. T'Pol was amazed at the extensive collection he had accumulated over the years. He must have used them to construct what appeared to be early attempts at a warp engine design, which she found carefully wrapped up in one of the boxes.

The garage had been set up as a workshop of sorts. Trip had a section arranged with all their scuba equipment. Another area for T'Pol's science projects and one he called his hobby area. T'Pol thought it resembled his work area in engineering, but kept the observation to herself. On shelves above him he'd placed all the engineering projects from his youth. Being Vulcan she had no idea why he kept them, but as she studied the arrangement she guessed he had placed them in this order to show the progression of his abilities in his chosen field.

The garage had been neat and organized this morning, but no longer. T'Pol entered carrying a tray with drinks for her mate and the children to find the scooter in pieces with Susie removing parts from a container, full of some solution, carefully wiping each before laying them on a cloth next to her. Young Jamie was all decked out, near the door in the driveway, in his protective gear attacking Commander Taggart, emitting a growl each time he struck his opponent's staff with his own.

T'Pol watched the Vulcans in the security detail, with their stoic, blank expressions stealing confused glances at the activities of the humans in the garage. For a Vulcan the undisciplined behavior of both adults and children seemed illogical and ill-conceived. Where was the ordered, step by step instruction necessary to learn staff fighting? The young boy was playing at fighting with Taggart not practicing as a student should.

T'Pol could guess their thoughts as she herself thought of how differently she now saw the scene before her, having spent so much time observing humans. Jamie was learning how to move and wield the staff and enjoying it. It wasn't a duty that required strict lessons and regimented movements, it was an activity that held an interest for him. Structured lessons would come later if he chose to continue.

Susie was just finishing up putting her scooter back together. Trip had supervised while she took it apart, cleaned the parts, following his instructions, and then put it back together. She would now be able to maintain it for herself with adult supervision of course. She had complained that she just wanted it to work, fully expecting Trip to repair it for her.

Listening to them was like listening to her own discussions with her husband. The only difference was the language he used. Trip refused to just fix the scooter, stating it was a simple engine and would require frequent maintenance, which Susie was more than capable of performing. After several rounds of arguments she finally saw the wisdom of relying on herself to keep her scooter running, especially since her father could not fix it and Mr. Tucker would only teach her how to fix it.

T'Pol tried to interact with these children as Trip did, but found it uncomfortable. Trip acted as if they were little adults and treated them as such. If they didn't understand he'd explain what he meant as many times as needed. With Jamie he had some sort of code that she assumed was understood amongst the males of the species because they all seemed to understand each other. She on the other hand found it tedious to have to change the way she spoke and alter her vocabulary to be understood. She'd spent years learning how to speak to adult humans and now she'd have to learn a whole new set of rules to speak to children. Perhaps she could be polite, keep her interactions to a minimum, and let Trip handle any communication with them.

---

Enterprise was due to leave in hours. Malcolm had commed Trip yesterday to say goodbye and double check that all was right in the world before he was too far away to be of any assistance. Why he was calling again Trip had no clue.

"Trip I need you to do me a favor."

"Anything Malcolm, you know that." Trip told him and meant it.

"I gave MacKenzie your private number, so she can contact you if she wants to use your comm system to contact me."

"Written messages aren't going to be enough?" Trip tried not to smile at Mal's expression. The guy who didn't let anyone in was already missing MacKenzie Smith and he hadn't left space dock.

"I'd like to be able to see her once in a while and it's not like I can give her codes to contact me directly." Malcolm drew in a deep breath to force himself to relax.

"You actually considered giving her Starfleet codes? Are you nuts?" Trip shot back at him.

"Not really. Well maybe for a second." It did cross his mind for a second, but he would never knowingly put his crew in danger. And giving someone to a secure system would do just that.

Trip couldn't believe he'd actually considered giving her a set of codes even for a split second. "Malcolm we wanted you to color outside the lines, not obliterate the damn things all together."

"_I will contact MacKenzie and arrange for her to join us for dinner one evening soon. It will make things easier if we were to become friends with her. Malcolm is quite taken with her." _T'Pol offered through the bond. She'd ask Billy and Melissa if they could bring her to dinner with them next week.

"_Seems like it. Thanks darlin'." _It surprised him that she was so willing to initiate a friendship with Malcolm girlfriend, but he was glad. It saved him the awkwardness of doing it himself.

"I wouldn't do that and you know it. I'm going to miss her is all and I need you to help with that." Although he had broken rules for Trip and T'Pol, they were Starfleet as well as very close friends.

"You know I'll do whatever you need me to do." Trip almost felt sorry for the crew on _Enterprise_ being confined on a small ship with a lovesick, lonely Malcolm Reed. It wasn't going to be pretty.


	9. Chapter 9

Healing to Your Life – Chapter 9

He couldn't hear it but he could sure feel her laughing at him. "T'Pol you really aren't being very Vulcan at the moment. I didn't think Vulcans laughed."

"I am not laughing and you're...what would you call what you've been doing all morning?" If she required him to name it, he was more likely to put an end to this constant complaining.

"It's called whining. I'm whining and you seem to find that funny."

"Whining. Like a small child who isn't getting their way."

"Look at all these messages, T'Pol." His exasperation grew with each scroll down the page. "I'm a warp engineer not an adviser to the lovelorn?"

"He is your friend and he is having a difficult time."

"He's being ridiculous. He's a grown man; who ought to be able to handle a few weeks without talking to her."

T'Pol began replaying Trip's memories of each time a situation forced his separation from her. "I seem to remember someone else who reacted badly to being apart..."

"That's really not fair." He hated it when she used his own thoughts against him like this. "We're bonded and it's not the same thing and you know it."

"Malcolm cares for this woman and he is lonely. What is different? He has no idea when he will speak to Mackenzie again and is suffering from 'separation anxiety'; I believe that is what you called it." She then played the memory of when he told Malcolm he'd understand when he fell in love.

"You and that damn Vulcan logic. And stop digging through my memories." Trip was frustrated. His wife was being no help and all he wanted to do was get his warp drive finished and the first of the Daedalus starships operational. Then they could get back home in their own space and start working on the new warp engine. "We're trying to get this ship together so it can fly in as little time as possible and instead everyone wants me to figure out how to get Malcolm back to being just his normal gloomy self."

Jon had sent several messages regarding his down in the dumps First Officer. All were pleas for Trip to find a way to make him feel better. Travis sent two in two days. And Hoshi sent one every day since the second week after they'd arrived at Utopia Plantia, four weeks ago. 'Please help!!!! Malcolm is walking around like a lost puppy. He isn't eating or sleeping. He's grouchy. He's not leaving his quarters. He's miserable and making everyone around him just as miserable.' Trip knew this was probably true. As First Officer, no one could avoid him for very long.

Taking pity on her husband and knowing there was really nothing they could do, she offered her assistance. "I will contact Captain Archer and suggest he find a way to allow Commander Reed to contact Ms. Smith. He will be far more likely to find a way around Starfleet's rules." Family was the only non-Starfleet personnel allowed to contact a starship using the comm system. All other messages were written ones. Having girlfriends or boyfriends clogging up the comm links was not something Starfleet was prepared to deal with.

"Thanks. I really am enjoying the break from them. If I have to hear one more of Malcolm's 'How do I love thee let me count the ways' chats I'll be sick. He must be at 500 or more by now." He would never have imagined the Brit for the love poem type, but evidently, the British educational system found it necessary to require their schoolchildren to memorize volumes of some really bad poetry. Trip conceded that perhaps it wasn't that bad, but simply lost something in Malcolm's translation and recitation. It was like listening to the boys in his ninth grade class read _Romeo and Juliet, _with their lack of understanding of romantic love and flat, monotone voices.

"There is a message here regarding your signing the order to disallow any shades of gray in the color scheme throughout the ship." She had chastised him for his impetuousness at signing this order when he did it. Now the Admiralty was asking if he had really been serious.

Trip read the message. "Tell them yes I was serious and unless one of them cares to countermand my order it stands." He couldn't rescind it now without admitting to acting impulsively when Commander Russell angered him.

"Do you think that's wise?"

"Would you rather I tell them I got mad because that idiot Russell called me to a meeting because he couldn't settle an argument amongst his own staff about gray walls." He'd arrived at the meeting expecting to sign-off on the final color scheme, but soon realized he was there to referee a battle on those colors. He didn't have time for this, so when an ensign managed to get his attention and present her idea to ban all gray walls because they were cold and impersonal he thought why not.

When he saw Commander Russell's reaction, he actually had the ensign revise the wording to ban all shades of gray on any visible surfaces aboard the ship, except the galley and mechanical parts for engineering. He knew it was petty and stupid, but he didn't care. "What's wrong with making them apply a few more coats of primer and paint? I never thought about it much before, but that ensign was right. If we expect them to live in space for months and maybe even die out there, is it too much to ask that home feel a little less like a tin can." He wasn't prepared to argue with T'Pol over the color gray. "If you really object you can rescind it, just make it clear it's against my wishes."

"I will tell them the order stands." The admirals really had much more important things to worry about than paint. Fortunately, the design section was being moved out and back at HQ before they returned. The design of the starship was not likely to change much, so there was no longer a need for a full staff for the interior design. If new design requirements came up in the future, the plans would be sent to HQ and assigned to the appropriate staff there. All that would remain was engineering staff. Now that the first ships were to be completed, the area for design was in the midst of a conversion process to become classrooms and labs for teaching Starfleet upperclassmen.

"Is there any thing else before I go do some actual work constructing a warp engine?" Trip joked.

"Your brother John wishes to come stay with us."

"What? When?" Maybe his dad got tired of waiting on him to get John away from Florida. He didn't understand why it was taking so long.

"He has been offered a position at the law firm of _Baker and Liston_ in San Francisco. He must complete his last term of law school and pass the bar. But according to his message, he will be in charge of their 'pro bono' division and all clients' legal matters dealing with Vulcan law. I was not aware he was familiar with Vulcan law."

"I asked Ambassador Soval to provide him with whatever he needed to understand the Vulcan legal system. I asked _Baker and Liston_ to act as our legal representatives and to allow John to handle our affairs under their supervision until he obtains his law degree and passes the bar."

The partners must have taken it a step further. It was a prudent decision on their part. It couldn't hurt to have a well-connected expert on Vulcan legal affairs on the staff. This worked out better than Trip had planned and it kept him out of it. He'd told John how important family was to Vulcans and how important it was to keep family and personal business private so asking him to handle the legal affairs was the practical thing to do. "Does he say when he's coming?"

"In one month. He says the firm has offered to put him up in a hotel, but he thought he'd like to stay with us until he finds a place of his own." T'Pol looked forward to spending time with John without his parents. The young man deferred to them often to his own detriment and she would like to get to know her brother-in-law better.

"We might not be back yet, but I can have security let him in. Is there a message from my dad in there somewhere?" Trip knew there'd be one soon. As of today, the test flight was on the schedule to take place in 17 days. They were on target to meet that time, but only if this next stage went as planned. If not there would be delays and then they had to met with several representatives of the various governments to work out details of obtaining the b=new materials they needed for the next warp engine they would be designing.

"No, but I will let you know when it arrives."

"Okay, I'm going to go work now. Can you give me a heads up an hour or so before dinnertime? I'll need to take a shower before I see you." The day began fine, but quickly spiraled into a swirling sea of problems, which required his immediate and direct attention.

---

"Commander why is everybody over there?" Trip pointed at his staff all standing across the room.

"I wish I could tell you, but Sub-Commander Kevit is being a little aggressive. He suggested we all stay away from him and when Lt. Guess got close to him he..." Billy searched for a way to inform the captain of his actions but also keep the Vulcan out of trouble.

"He hit him, sir." Ensign Seswick interjected.

"Kevit hit Guess?" Could this day get any worse? "So why is Kevit so upset?" It must be serious if a Vulcan was so angry he was hitting people.

"He's been acting squirrely all day. First, he snapped at me this morning for asking questions and now he's threatening us. I tried talking to him earlier, but all he'd say was its private." Billy always tried to help if he could, but the Vulcans kept so much to themselves it was difficult.

Another of those things Starfleet failed to prepare those who are in command for. Trip was definitely going to submit a request for training as a counselor, as it seemed to consume large chunks of his time. "So, where is Kevit, now?" He'd looked around the room and couldn't see him.

"He's working on the plasma assembly, just like he's supposed to be." Billy pointed in the direction of his work area.

Trip admired the fact that even in distress the Vulcan was doing his duty. The only problem was that if no one else worked with him the work would never be completed. "Keep everyone over here and I'll see if I can talk to him." Trip moved around the machinery and found Kevit stuffed in a corner working.

"Sub-Commander, can we talk for a minute?" Trip wanted to let him know he was there and he didn't want to get to close until he was assured no fists would be flying in his direction.

"I'm not going to hit you Captain. I told Guess I was sorry. I just need to be alone for a while." Kevit turned his face away from Tucker.

"Kevit look at me." Trip wanted to see his face, especially his eyes. Vulcans had not totally perfected hiding their emotions, except in their expressions.

Kevit turned to face Captain Tucker. His eyes were dark and troubled as he lowered his gaze to the floor. Trip recognized the gesture as one T'Pol used when she was embarrassed or unable to talk about something. "Let's take this back to my office where we'll have some privacy."

"_Darlin, I need your input here. What's going on with Kevit?" _Trip had taken note of the fact that T'Pol had remained quiet. She usually offered advice or encouragement when he ran into these types of situations with the staff.

"_I can be of no assistance in a private Vulcan matter." _T'Pol put up several shields.

"_Don't you go pulling that secret Vulcan crap on me now. I have no idea what to do or say to him. You're the Vulcan here so help me out." _Why was it that when he was totally clueless she abandoned him?

"_The Sub-Commander will require the assistance of his mate and some time off. That is the only help we can offer."_

Trip understood. No wonder he wouldn't talk, but T'Pol shouldn't be clamming up on him_. "Oh..so it's that time for him. He should have just requested some time off." _It was bad timing, but Trip also knew it wasn't something one could plan for until it actually happened. _"Are you going to get all aggressive and attack people when this happens to you?"_

"_This will happen to us and aggression is part of it. If his mate is near he may be reacting to other males being in her presence even though she is not in the same physical location." _Jealousy was a powerful emotion and Vulcans in Pon Farr were very prone to.

"Sub-Commander Kevit where is your mate?" Trip asked quietly as they headed for his office.

The questions in Kevit's eyes surprised Trip. "Don't forget I'm bonded to a Vulcan. I may not know about what you're going through first hand, but I do understand."

"I have no bonded mate. This is my first..." Kevit's voice dropped off. "...my chosen and I will not be bonded until after the ritual."

"So how long do we have before we need to get you two somewhere private?" Trip was trying to be as respectful as he could be. He could see how difficult it was for the Vulcan to discuss something so intimate and private with him.

"We do not require going anywhere. My room will be private enough." Having to talk to the Captain about this was bad enough. He did not want to trouble him any further.

"Look I know how private Vulcans are about certain things and I can't see you being in your room during this." Two sex-craved, active, and possibly violent Vulcans in a dorm-like room surrounded by the occupants of the other rooms didn't seem private at all. They didn't want to talk about it. What would he do once the other engineers figured out what was going on in his room? No way was that scenario something Trip was prepared to deal with. "I'll see what I can do to make arrangements for you and your chosen mate to spend some quality time together away from the rest of us. Who is your chosen mate?" Trip needed her name to add to the leave request.

"Commander Jakan."

"Jakan, as in the Andorian who's in charge of the impulse engine?" Tucker watched as Kevit nodded in the affirmative. He stood behind his desk shaking his head. Not only was he going to have the Vulcans questioning a Vulcan/Andorian bonding, but she was the head of a department and would be on leave for several days and unreachable. Trip thought he wanted this day to start over earlier, so it could get better. Now he just wanted it over before it got any worse. And why was T'Pol being so reticent about offering him any kind of help or support. With this last piece of news, she'd erected her shields to the point he almost couldn't feel her at all.

"Is the Commander working on the engine installation?" Trip asked. That might explain the aggressive behavior Kevit was displaying. Most of the engineers under Jakan we're male and Trip was sure at least a couple of them had reputations as players amongst the female staff.

The minute Commander Jakan stepped through the doorway Trip felt it_. "T'Pol this is why you've been avoiding the engineering area isn't it? If I can feel it I know you've been able to for some time." _ He waited. Nothing. She wasn't going to say anything.

"_Thanks a lot darlin'. The Vulcan who knows what is going on goes quiet and leaves her human husband to fend for himself. Wait till I get my hands on you." _Being discreet and private about Pon Farr he understood, but refusing to talk to him or help him deal with this he would never understand. _"T'Pol I need your help here. Where do I put them and for how long? Kevit's having a tough time talking to me and don't make me ask Jakan what she knows about this." _ There was no way Trip was going to ask the Andorian female for details on mating rituals, Vulcan or Andorian.

"How long Kevit?" Trip was more insistent this time.

"I don't know for sure, but maybe 3 days, if I stay away from everybody." He was irritable and aggressive, at times, and very erratic, so avoiding his fellow engineers seemed like the best course.

He considered relieving Kevit of duty and keeping Jakan working but looking at her it was clear she wasn't doing well either. "Okay. You're both relieved of duty. I suggest you remain in your separate rooms until I contact you with whatever arrangements I can make." Keeping them separated for a time was important. Trip needed to go find his wife. She needed to explain more about what took place during Pon Farr, so he knew what arrangements he needed to make. He was sure just getting them a secluded room somewhere wasn't sufficient unless someone were prepared to cover any damages they might incur. And what about Jakan? T'Pol was worried about Trip getting hurt during her Pon Farr and he was a male. Were Andorian females anything like human females or more like Vulcans? Unfortunately, Trip had no one to blame but himself for the situation he found himself in. Throwing all these species together was bound to make for some interesting interpersonal relationships. He'd asked for this assignment, in fact, he'd practically blackmailed Starfleet into giving it to him.

Trip located his wife using the bond. "T'Pol what is wrong with you? I've been looking for you for over an hour and I finally had to do some serious concentrating with the bond to find you."

"How did you find me? My shields should have blocked you." T'Pol had put up what she thought were adequate shields to keep him out of her mind.

"I'm not sure. I had to clear everything else out of my head and focus only on where you were and here I am." He just did it he didn't really think about how. "Why are you blocking me out?"

"It is improper for one Vulcan to interfere in another's Pon Farr."

He'd hit the Vulcan brick wall and he knew it. "You pick the worst times to get all Vulcan on me." Trip left her standing there staring out the window.

---

"Trip wake up. You cannot sleep here?"

Trip moved slightly when she touched his shoulder. "I'm sleeping just fine thanks, go away." He pulled the pillow from under his head and covered it instead.

"T'hy'la, please come to our room." T'Pol knew he was angry, he had his shields up and had blocked her out totally. She was finding it painful, as she was sure he must be.

His eyes came out from under the pillow. "So now I'm T'hy'la. Why because you can't sleep or because you have a headache?" He didn't wait for a response; he rolled onto his side facing away from her and pulled his blanket up to his chin and the pillow back over his head. He was angry before, but now after having spent two hours trying to get comfortable on the benches he'd pulled together to make a bed he'd finally fallen asleep. That must be why T'Pol decided it was time to come get him.

"You are not comfortable and will not sleep well if you remain here."

The pillow lifted. "It's been one hellicious day or if you prefer that I not cuss 'it sucked' so just go away and leave me alone." The pillow dropped back over his head.

---

"Stay away from the assembly area." Billy Rivers warned his team. "The Captain is having a really bad day, so be careful."

The morning started off rough and Captain Tucker showed up and made it miserable. Billy was met with several rumors of the Captain's escapades with Captain T'Pol and others in some out of the way warehouse he'd had equipped with a bed and made off limits to all personnel, except a Vulcan who was delivering food several times a day. Judging by the Captain's mood this morning if anything was going on in that warehouse it couldn't possibly anything like what the speculation was all about.

"Captain T'Pol is almost as bad. She actually snapped at me when I asked if she wanted tea. I thought Vulcan didn't lose their temper." First Kevit expressed anger and now Captain T'Pol. "She's in such a foul mood and I wouldn't cross her if you can avoid it." Ensign Burke who was seeking refuse in the engineering bay and he wanted to warn the others.

"Does anyone know what they're fighting about?" Commander Rivers asked having deduced the captains must be angry at one another.

"What makes you think they had a fight?" Burke had never known them to have more than a slight disagreement and they usually were resolved within an hour or so.

"Foul moods, biting everyone's head off, not talking, Captain Tucker sleeping in engineering. Sure sounds like a fight to me." Billy had seen Trip this angry before, just never with T'Pol.

Lieutenant Juz joined the group. "Has anyone seen Commander Jakan this morning?"

"The morning roster has her and Sub-Commander Kevit on leave for an undesignated period of time." Ensign Burke had processed the orders.

"They took leave now? Why would anyone want to take leave here?" Commander Rivers knew a space station for building starships could never be confused with a vacation spot. Although Vulcans and Andorians might have different ideas about what constituted a vacation.

"It's listed as an official leave of absence with no destination listed and it was all handled by direct order of Captain Tucker." Ensign Burke had processed the orders first thing this morning and the look on Tucker's face when he gave him the paperwork said 'don't ask any questions if you know what's good for you'.

"So we all duck and cover all day or until they work this out?" Ensign Seswick chimed in hoping someone would offer a better suggestion.

"The captain slept in the engineering office last night..." Juz stopped when he caught sight of Tucker.

"I don't know what has managed to capture your interest, but when I get back here I better not see anyone standing around gossiping." Trip knew exactly what they had been discussing, but he was too exhausted to make an issue of it. Ignoring them was the fastest way to make all the speculation and rumors go away. He went to find coffee to try to keep himself awake long enough to complete the realignment on the firing sequence he had been working on all morning.

Every engineer became quiet and diligent about completing their assignments with as little fuss as possible. Captain Tucker had remained in the main assembly area and hadn't uttered more than five or six words at a time. Captain T'Pol could be found in the office or in the rec area. Most assumed she was working off her frustration at Tucker's refusal to speak to her. Tucker put together a bed consisting of benches from the locker room in the tool area of engineering. A pile of laundry had been delivered there. Everyone assumed this was now going to be his new home.

---

"How are they going to explain losing the Captain on a base this size?" The young ensign asked as they searched through the warehouse.

"It's not my problem. We just have to help them find him." Answered the second of the team of security woken up to locate Captain Tucker.

"They said he was last seen in the galley. The cooks there said he asked for something to drink and then left."

"Drink like coffee or drink like alcohol?" The ensign suddenly took finding the captain a little more seriously.

"They gave him a small cooler full of that stuff they call beer."

"He could power the warp drive with that stuff and if he was stupid enough to actually drink it we'll need to get him to the infirmary before it eats through his insides." Ensign James had tried some of the local 'mash' as they called it. Having ended up very drunk and heaving, after only two bottles, listening to the medics chide him for doing that to himself. He swore off alcohol unless he could get someone to send him the real thing from home.

"They say he and Captain T'Pol are having a disagreement and he was so distracted he practically blew himself and his team up this afternoon. Why is it he has a fight and we end up cleaning up the mess?" Ensign Singe wanted to know.

"One of the privileges of rank. And before we both wind up on report for being disrespectful to our superior officers lets just concentrate on finding him. Captain T'Pol is also in command here and somehow I don't think pissing her off anymore than she already is would be the best career move." She may be a Vulcan and kept her face expressionless but she was angry and Ensign James had plans for his future and being busted wasn't part of the plan.

Singe tweaked his nose and repeatedly pointed his finger toward the back wall. "I think we hit pay dirt. Take a whiff." He put his hand to his mouth in an attempt to keep his stomach for emptying itself.

James moved toward the slumped over figure. Kicking the empty bottles as he went. "Let's hope he didn't drink all these." But judging from the smell and quantity of stomach contents that had been ejected it was most likely he had.

"Starfleet never tells you about this part of the job when they pump you full of all that BS about seeing new worlds and meeting new species."

"You're seeing new worlds and meeting new species. I don't remember anything about those new species being any better or different than our own. If you're looking for more excitement, you're going to have to put in for duty on a starship." Most of the aliens they met were the government types who all seemed to fit the same pattern of behavior. James was enjoying the change in routine Captain Tucker and his bunch brought with them.

"Anything would be better than this. You grab that side and I'll grab this side." Singe took in a deep breath, held it, and then lifted the captain up.

"T'Po..?"

"No, Captain Tucker. I think you need a shower before you see Captain T'Pol." James told the half-conscious man. They'd all need a shower.

"T'Pol."

"I'll get her for you as soon as we get you to the infirmary." James was concerned at the amount of 'mash' he had ingested and the condition he was in.

The medic pumped the remaining content of his stomach, inserted an IV to replenish the fluids he had lost, and to administer what drugs he could to ease the effects of the alcohol. He had sent several memos to the base Commander requesting that he forbid those under his command from ingesting any 'homemade brews' before someone suffered permanent damage, but to no avail. The Commander stated it was an off-duty activity that he would not interfere with unless it became an issue with on-duty performance.

Trip awoke to the voices of medics arguing about how it was that a Vulcan was suffering what appeared to be the affects of alcohol poisoning without a drop of alcohol in her system. He turned his head slightly and started to lift himself up.

"I'd stay down if I were you Captain." Trip heard the voice of Taggart from across the room.

Trip ignored his suggestion. The minute his head left the pillow the room took off spinning, taking his stomach with it. He immediately tried to turn himself over so he could drop his arm and leg over the side of the bed in an attempt to anchor himself to the floor but found he lacked the coordination necessary to complete such a maneuver. "Oh..."

"Why do we even bother?" Sub-Commander Kaso interjected when he saw the captain trying to recover his bearings.

"I hate being told what to do." Trip managed to mumble out into the side of the pillow.

"Well you better start listening or you're going to be buried in Starfleet's disciplinary hearings for weeks." Taggart had spent the morning fending off press. The space station base usually didn't attract much notice, but the completion of the first warp 6 engine for the war effort had drawn their interest. And now there were rumors of sexual improprieties and captains having a drunken brawls.

"You guys sound a little upset. What's wrong?" Trip wanted to know why they were being so short with him.

Exasperated beyond belief Taggart let him know exactly what he'd done. "First, there are the rumors that you have some setup where you're having sex with every female here." Kaso and Taggart both knew this wasn't true because he was bonded to T'Pol, but others might believe he was cheating on her. "Then there's the fact that you blew up part of engineering today and then you ended up in the infirmary with severe alcohol poisoning." Leading to rumors of a drunken captain almost killing his crew.

Kaso leaned in close on the other side. "And a Vulcan doctor had to be sent here to treat your bondmate because she's suffering from the effects of ingesting too much alcohol. Even though she hasn't drunk any and Vulcans aren't even affected by alcohol like other species. We can't dispel any rumors without divulging private, intimate information, so instead we've placed a news blackout over the base and Captain T'Pol is tucked away in your quarters so no one can actually verify what is wrong with her." Keeping her hidden was only adding to the rumors about drunken brawls and shouting matches between the two.

He tried calling out for T'Pol in his mind but there was no response. He could feel her though. "T'Pol's hurt? How?"

Kaso checked to be sure they were alone. "You are mates. Vulcans do not experience drunkenness from alcohol, but evidently the bondmate of a human can suffer the effects when her mate has so poisoned himself he nearly dies."

Trip was aware that T'Pol felt the affects alcohol had on him through the bond and he had always been careful not to overindulge so she didn't have to erect barriers..but he'd never considered what would happen if he got blotto drunk.

"She got hurt because I got drunk? Where is she?" He tried to get up to go to her, but the world wouldn't stay still and his stomach, which he was sure must be empty by now, was protesting violently along with the rest of his body.

"I swear I'll strap you down if you don't stay put." Taggart said as pushed the captain the rest of the way over and put his arms across his back. "You didn't just get drunk. You drank so much of that rotgut they make here that you almost died. The doctor has to administer some drugs before you'll be able to sit up so just stay down." The Vulcan doctor had arrived on a Vulcan shuttle within two hours after Sub-Commander Kaso contacted Ambassador Soval. The doctor consulted with the infirmary medics and Taggart was sure they had purposely waited to give the Captain the drugs so he would remember what he'd done to himself, therefore keeping him from doing anything so asinine in the future.

"Captain T'Pol is in your quarters asleep. She has been sedated to prevent her from suffering anymore. Your personal physician is on his way here, so just be patient and stop making this all worse than it already is."

To give him something else to think about and maybe alleviate some of his own anger Taggart let Trip know, "Admiral Kilmer has been calling every 30 minutes or so for hours now. Is there anything you'd like me to tell him next time he calls?" The Commander had listened to the Admiral scream for the last several hours and would like nothing better than to let the Captain deal with the fallout of his actions, but it was his job to protect both Tucker and Captain T'Pol so he'd do whatever was required to carry out his sworn duty. Besides, if he allowed any harm at all to come to either of them he'd have to answer to Commander Reed and that was not something he took lightly.

"No just tell him I'm unavailable until further notice. Thanks for everything you're both doing. I'm sorry to be such a problem. If I can ever sit up I'll take over damage control." It had been a long time since he'd gotten himself in this kind of trouble and this deeply.

"That's okay Captain Tucker. Kaso and I are better equipped to deal with this than you, so just trust us and we'll take care of everything." Taggart had the contacts to bury most press stories and if he couldn't he knew people who could. Kaso had the Vulcans behind him and they somehow managed to keep any and all newsworthy items regarding any Vulcans on Earth out of the press and the rumor mill. "You're going to have your hands full dealing with Starfleet. I suggest you get that starship of yours up and running as soon as possible."

"I need to see Commander Rivers. Can you get him over here, now?" Tucker asked.

"He's outside. Been there since they brought you in, I'll go get him." Taggart turned and left.

"Sub-Commander has anyone checked on Kevit and Jaran?" Trip had been checking with the Vulcan security officers that were delivering food and water to the warehouse.

"No problems have been reported. We must find a plausible explanation for that warehouse. How did word leak out about it in the first place?" Kaso hadn't been consulted on the arrangement, but he was now aware of what Tucker had done.

"I don't know unless one of those reporters got wind of it. T'Pol and the Vulcan security officers are the only ones I talked to. I told security it was a private Vulcan matter that required discretion and asked them to keep everyone away and make food deliveries three times a day." Trip didn't think any of the Vulcans would have said anything to anyone.

"We'll check into it." Kaso assured him as he left.

"If it was someone from Starfleet I want to know." Trip would see that they were buried in some far away posting forever.

---

Trip held her unconscious body in his arms. "I'm sorry T'Pol." He couldn't believe how stupid and immature he'd been. It wasn't bad enough that his behavior had started a scandal all on the base but T'Pol had become ill trying to deal with the side effects of his drunkenness.

"Do not worry. I am well." T'Pol squeaked out against his chest as he rocked her back and forth.

"No thanks to me. I'm really sorry."

"You are not well. I can feel the burning sensation throughout your body."

"Yeah the 'beer' I drank wasn't exactly the mildest form of alcohol out there. Seems it stripped a layer off my insides on the way through. Doctor says it will be several days to a week before the pain goes away."

"That should be a reminder not to engage in similar behavior in the future."

"I won't be doing anything so stupid again I promise. It's bad enough that I abused my own body, but I hurt you and that's unacceptable."

"You did not mean to cause me harm. You were upset and I understand."

"That's no excuse and you know it. I'm supposed to be an adult not some teenager who doesn't use his head. I've managed to create one colossal mess and now I've going to have to find a way to keep it from snowballing and taking out our careers."

"Finish the NCC-100 and all will be forgiven." T'Pol knew he relied on his expertise to keep the brass from coming down on him whenever he did something they didn't like.

"Great my wife's telling me to use my engineering skills to get myself out of a jam. Didn't know you were aware of that. It's my best kept secret."

"Do you think Captain Archer was not aware that your brilliance as an engineer was what kept you out of 'hot water' with your superiors? He was guilty of letting you 'slide' on many occasions for that very reason." Archer had complained that he couldn't always afford to come down hard with Trip as far as discipline went because they needed him in engineering to keep Enterprise flying.

"Makes sense I guess, but no one has ever said anything to me about it. I hoped that meant they weren't aware that I was aware and counted on it." He should have known better.

"This is also my fault. I am sorry that I refused to talk to you. It is the responsibility of the male to handle the details surrounding Pon Farr; therefore; it was not my place to interfere."

"The males' responsibility? Well, then when our time comes we have a big problem because I still don't know what to expect." He knew T'Pol would ensure he was not harmed, but he did want to know more details about what to expect because the secrecy made it all seem scarier than he thought it was.

"We will discuss it before that time arrives, but for now let's try to sleep. It sounds like we have a busy day ahead."

"Is this all about overcharged rough sex or is there more to it than that?"

"The first time or two it may be extremely rough but should not be dangerous if both parties are prepared and willing participants. The actual ritual last for 2 days until the blood fever is resolved and then there is a day or two of residual side effects that will require rest and recovery."

"So why couldn't you just tell me that before? All I needed was a little guidance on what arrangements to make and for how long. Is there some way I should ask you about this secret stuff that won't make you freak out on me or is this always going to be like this?"

"You are my mate and I should have simply discussed this with you long ago, but as you know I have a difficult time discussing sexual topics at all and this part of Vulcan sexuality is never spoken of."

"Since we've been together you've always been so open with me that I sometimes forget. Do you think we'll ever get this communication thing worked out?"

He let his eyes drift closed as he pulled T'Pol close. The thought that he had as he allowed himself to give in to sleep was that he thought they had worked it out. He should have known never to get to lazy and comfortable because whenever he did something came and bit him in the backside.


End file.
